Honest Injun!

When we were young we were taught a story about a dispute in Western Pennsylvania that had consequences down the road.

It seems that at one time there was a large Indian population in the mountains outside of Pittsburgh , the largest of which was the "Marsupial Indians tribe." It is their history that I share today. The details and names are a little shakey but, I'll tell you what I can.

The Chief of the tribe was allegedly named Indolence. He was middle aged and had been around for a while. He remained fit by leading settler raids from a 5 mile distance . However, it was no secret that if he could arrange the marriage of his beautiful daughter and only child, Running Stream", he might cash in his 401-K and settle down.

Running Stream was very independent. She chose Tuesday to clean her clothes on the rocks and in the stream for which she was named; while the other women were home ironing Monday's wash.

She was stubborn and particularly as it had application to "Big Dude", her dad's marital choice for her. He was the biggest and strongest indian in the Marsupial tribe. She feared she might never survive childbirth and obtaining coverage for a C- section was totally out of the question back then.

Without anyone knowing it, she had begun surreptitiously seeing another brave on her washing day, out of the view of Indolence and the rest of the tribe. Her scrawny but personable suitor wasn't even a Marsupial , but a member of an almost extinct tribe called "The Homex".

This tribe was so small they didn't even have a stream of their own. They had to visit the Marsupial's stream - on off peak days - before riparian rights.

There was some irony here as the name of the brave that Running Stream was meeting was "Falling Rocks". She felt destiny surely brought them together here on her washing day. She also liked it that, due to Falling Rocks's small tribe background, he was not hung up on the usual male and female stereotypes.

He told her he enjoyed doing his own washing. He claimed to be pretty good at teepee cleaning too, and bragged of an absolute Type A personality approach when it came to removing the Buffalo grease from his barbeque grill. He used a formula cleaner that he had invented.

Running Stream was clearly attracted to his many stories and talk of other domestic talents learned from his mother and grandmother, who now ran a trading post in Pittsburgh's Strip District.

She was no dummy. She saw an opportunity to also work outside of the home someday, but, feared their romance was doomed. She hated to tell him this as she kind of liked having him around. He had taught her several new washing techniques that cut the chore in half and was recently walking her through a unique method of folding contour sheets.

Finally, Falling Rocks professed his love for her and asked her to marry him. She felt she had no choice but to explain to her little friend that marriage was out of the question due to her Father's preference - a true indian stud.

Falling Rocks could think of nothing else but wedding Running Stream. He eagerly anticipated his Tuesday morning sessions with her at the stream but was carefully formulating a plan.After several weeks he surprised her and asked to be taken to her Father where he could plead his case.

Running Stream thought, "There goes the Amway gig! I know Daddy will never accept him and when Big Dude hears of this he is surely going to beat the snot out of my beloved."

Despite this, she took Falling Rocks to meet her Dad. Sure enough, he wasn't that thrilled but was getting tired of her stiffing him on the marriage bit. He said, "If your brave can beat Big Dude in a fight I will agree to that marriage". He did this only after receiving the reluctant promise from Running Stream that should he lose, she must marry Big Dude.

Indolence was no dummy. He saw that Big Dude was the larger brave by almost three to one. A typical male, the chief figured he might finally have a worthy male heir and a good succesion.

The fight was scheduled for the following Tuesday at noon. All were in attendance and Big Dude quickly gained the upper hand. He almost pinned Falling Rocks twenty-six times but the quicker and skinnier brave kept squeezing out of his hold.

Finally, as Big Dude was rushing toward him at Jim Thorpe speed, Falling Rocks reached into his secret loincloth pocket and threw a handful of several crushed cleansing pellets into his face. Big Dude screamed. Blinded, he fell into a hole filled with upright spears that Falling Rocks had cleverly constructed late the previous evening.

Big Dude died instantly. The Chief, Indolence, went berserk and ordered his braves to kill Falling Rocks.

The victorious brave was not only wise but swift. He had devised a clever escape route that would allow him to outdistance the other braves and flee to an area around the lower rim of the mountains. Off he went.

They hunted him for days but came back empty handed. Running Stream wore sackcloth and ashes for a year, leaving the reservation only occasionally with a few tools carefully hidden under her mourning outfit.

Despite the passage of time she remained unwilling to give up in her search for her lover.

Even now it is still quite common for folks traveling on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, a road that was cut through the mountains, to see signs reminding them of this unrequited love story.

The signs say simply: "Watch Out For Falling Rocks."