ALMOST HEALTH CARE CHANGES

The following is from an E-mail I received and then edited out the political junk. Some of the lines were too funny to dismiss.

Please do not view this as an argument against the recent Health Care legislation.

At my age there is a tendency to look at life as a continuum and hope that someday we'll again view ideas like "delayed gratification" and "incremental progress" as positives.

PLEASE NOTE THE RADICAL PROPOSED CHANGES THAT DIDN'T BECOME LAW:

Annual breast exams will be done at Hooters.

Directions to your doctor's office will now include: Take a left when entering the trailerpark.

The tongue depressors may taste faintly of Fudgsicles.

The only proctologist in your plan may be "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

Preventive care coverage will now be "an apple a day."

Do not tell your doctor that the pants he/she is wearing are those you gave to Goodwill.

When you read: "the patient is now responsible for 200% of out-of-network changes"-that is not a typographical error.

The only expense covered 100% now will be embalming.

Your Prozac - for which you may desire to increase the dosage - will now come with little" M's" on the pills.

For those of you taking Viagra - the pills will now be replaced with a Popsicle stick and"duct tape."

As Carla , a good friend of ours, includes with every E-mail: "She who laughs - lasts."