SLICED BREAD"

This is a blog that asks questions like , "What was the best thing before sliced bread?"

There are many things in the world that I've witnessed, thought about, read about, talked about, even imagined. Nowadays, I cannot deny a feeling that I'm in a world I just don't understand.

Take the following, for example:

"Larceny" is described in one dictionary reference as "a crime involving the wrongful acquisition of the personal property of another." Sounds simple enough, right?

It was an offence (note the spelling) in Common Law, and became an offence in jurisdictions which incorporated the Common Law of England into their own law. Ironically, it was abolished in England, Wales, Northern Ireland & the Republic of Ireland.

It remains an offence in the United States and New South Wales, Australia involving "the taking and carrying away" (asportation) of Personal Property. The distance involved did not matter.

The taking away may be either direct or indirect; that is, accomplished by the criminal himself or an innocent agent. (just for the heck of it, let's think "lobbyist" here). and may require that a judge recuse him or herself (step aside) from adjudication of the matter.

"Bribery", on the other hand, is a "form of corruption", and an act implying money or gift given that alters the behavior of the recipient. Bribery constitutes a crime.

The bottom line is that "political campaign contributions" are considered acts of "bribery" in some countries, while in the United States, they are considered "legal" .

A politician here need not recuse himself regarding any legislation if a timely campaign contribution (money or gift) just happens to be from a company or entity who might profit from that favorable piece of legislation as determined by the committee that this particular politician "heads up."

You may find yourself asking , "How can that be? - Who would legislate something like this?"

You might also have been taking way too much of the cough medicine your doctor prescribed for that cold you are battling. Therefore, let us take advantage of your confusion.

While raising these Monty Python like issues you may find yourself seeking clarity and are asking , "Wait a minute - Bribery is a form of corruption and larceny is a crime involving the wrongful acquisition of the personal property of another? Then what is campaign financing?"

Not to worry. Let us explain with the use of some great reference sources. First of all, "campaign financing" is a little like "duck typing".

Better grab the cough medicine and hit the record button as you read this aloud!

Per Wikipedia, "In computer programming with object-oriented programming languages, "duck typing" is a style of dynamic typing in which an objects 'current set of methods and properties' determine the valid semantics, rather than the inheritance from a particular class or implementation of a specific interface." (It's that red button on your remote.)

The name of the concept referred to as the "'duck test" is that attributed to a guy named Riley, who obviously HAS to be Irish.

You see, in duck typing one is concerned just with those aspects of an object that are "used", rather than with the "type" of the object itself. (Who wouldn't understand that?)

Wikipedia continues, " For example, in a non-duck typed language, one can create a function that takes an object of type "Duck" and calls that object's walk and quack methods."

The reference adds, "If the object does not have the methods that are called then the function signals a run-time error. It is this action of any object having the correct walk and quack methods being accepted by the function that evokes the quotation and hence, the name of this form of typing."

Per James Whitcomb Riley, the alleged author of the quotation, it reads: "When I see a bird that walks like a duck and swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a duck."

"Duck typing would appear to be like campaign contributions then, as, like duck typing , it is aided by habitually not testing for the type of arguments in method and function bodies, relying on documentation, (clear coding) and testing to ensure correct use." (I love Logic! )

Okay, you got it now? Do you finally understand why todays campaign financing rules do not qualify as either "Larceny"' or "Bribery?"

In the words of recently departed actor, Robert Culp, "Why, of course you do!" But, in your weakened condition you might just want to rely on Riley's interpretation as a guide and inspiration.

Really, it's much better than sliced bread.