HORROR MOVIES

In old time horror movies of my youth you would watch a huge curtain painted to look like a building and it would shake as if it no longer was an inanimate object.

If you looked closely - and if the editing was done as fast as the picture was made - you might see the hand of the assistant director shaking the curtain so as to give it a human dimension.

Now, if you failed to notice that, you got an audience reaction like, " "My God Marge, did you see that building start to shake?"

Well, today our special effects folks are much more sophisticated, although I did see a stagehand running behind a piece of scenery in a New York production of "Phantom Of The Opera."

Today, we really have animated buildings. I know this because in catching up with my reading this morning I saw: "Barclay's Bank has agreed to pay $298 million over allegations it illegally engaged in financial transactions with banks in Cuba, Iran, Libya, Sudan, and Burma."

It has given new meaning to those ads that claim, "Our bank is on your side." - and you happen to notice that wherever you move, the financially challenged bank has opened a new branch.

This is sort of like Joe, the Valley Dairy milkman who always delivered the milk to my Mom no matter where we moved. But, that's another story- and it comes with a reasonable explanation.

Nope, it appears banks really do have a life of their own. Like science fiction movies today, they have taken on a personality of "Chuckie." - and they're doing bad things.

When my kids were tots and they ran into the sharp corner of a livingroom table in their bare feet, to stop their crying and create empathy I would slap the top of the coffee table and yell, "Bad table!" "Bad table!". Soon, my kids would start to emulate that behavior and join in with Dad in playing "let's give this table a whack."

I have no idea what my oldest son does today when his car refuses to start and, please, no cards or letters.

One can only imagine that after Monday's news about the possible fine of around 300 mil - the London bank customers swere standing around 1 Churchill Place and whomping on Barclays Building with their " brolly" (umbrella) - screaming ( in a mildy chastizing English way, of course) "Bad Bank - Bad Bank!"

Actually, if rumors can be believed, when you go inside the bank edifice you will be amazed to see that while there are many, many customers - there are no people who actually run the bank and make policy decisions. "Nope, don't need them - don't want them." It's all done by Special Effects & Chuckie.

Well, guess what? The Monday Washington Post states that, "At a 1 p.m. hearing, U.S. District Judge Emmet G. Sullivan (of course) declined to immediately approve the 298 mil deal w/o (working on my texting skills) the presence of Barclay's Group general counsel, Mark Harding, whose signature was on the proposed agreement."

"If he wants to do this, he can get on a boat or plane to plead guilty like anyone else," Sullivan said, "He's not going to plead on the phone."

You see, you just cannot get a Sullivan to buy into something this hokey. Don't ever try to mess with those Special Effects.

We know a lousy Horror movie when we see one.