NOT MY KIDS!

It is a tradition - handed down through the ages - for parents to declare:  "Our kids are the good ones."

It is also a tradition for those generations who preceded these same parents down the parenting highway to be critical as to how the following generations are raising their kids.

Currently, the terms "helicopter parents" - "narcissistic" - "over protective" - "neglectful"  etc are often used by so-called experts to describe today's parents.

One problem causing disagreement among these experts has to do with kids and health issues.

The problem is finding out why we appear to have so many more children in this country who are diagnosed with ADHD than are found in other developed nations.

You may recall ADHD. It's the condition allegedly responsibile for the extremely overactive physical displays and tantrums  demonstrated  - by our grandkids -  that often sends us grandparents to the local bar after a suddenly shortened visit to our kids.

The big question is how we treat the condition in this country. Are we doing all  we can do?

 Should we conclude that ADHD is a biological-neurological disorder that - while not being cured - can be masked with the use of psycho-stimulant medications such Ritalin and Adderall - and that's really all we can do for now?

I don't mean to startle anyone who is a parent of ADHD kids but the answer to that question may be found in - of all places - France. This is according to family therapist Marilyn Wedge Ph.D, as reported in Psychology Today.

Apparently France has a much lower number of diagnosed ADHD kids. It is said this is partially because French child psychiatrists view ADHD as a biological disorder that has psycho-social and situational causes, and, of course, some also suggest: partially because "it's France."

 I'm not so sure about the last conclusion regardless of the cultural differences in the two countries.

The French do not rely on our increasingly criticized DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual). It seems our medical folks recently decided to add - not subtract - a number of anomalies  - which, of course, can also be treated with prescriptions; but which we of my generation referred to as  "kids being kids."  - or in psychology friendly terms - "normal childhood behavior."

While definitely not possessing either the "authority" or "medical creds" of mental health experts in this county - I, as an observant parent and grandparent, have both studied and taught the therapy approach to changing behavior. That was a long time ago.

What is current in my thinking, however, is why we're so stuck on "curing" every perceived ailment for our kids by shoving a pill in their mouth.

As much as I question "the prescription approach" I'm quick to admit that therapy is not always the answer either. But, neither do I believe it should be ignored in appropriate circumstances.

I believe life is a continuom along which we often keep swinging from one extreme to the other during our lifetime based upon a variety of mostly environmental influences. Thus, I'm  seriously questioning what others and myself are seeing regarding the current methodology approach for treating ADHD.

Simply put, "Are we treating our kids emotional problems with drugs and failing to adequately explore other possibilities that may have had positive results in the past?"

When doctors appeared to have more time to seriously examine and question their patients - as opposed to today's trend of  "Wham Bam - Thank You Maam" and then frantically running from room to room and patient to patient because they overbooked -  are our medical practioners doing us a disservice?

It just seems to me that the old fashioned approach of taking the time to talk to their patients was often responsible for developing a rapport between doctor and patient that was often curative all by itself.

Similarly, your responsibility as a therapist is to determine causation and arrive at an appropriate treatment regimen for emotional problems by asking meaningful questions and listening carefully to the answers.

"It ain't gonna happen over night". It takes time to develop the required trust - but, when it works it usually has long lasting results. It takes a while to effectively peel an onion.

I'm as much concered about the growing "medical - pharmaceutical complex" as Ike was worried about the "industrial-military complex" and it's consequences back in his day.

Sure, it could also be because I hate sitting in the doctor's waiting rooms with my fellow seniors - proudly wearing our aging monogrammed golf shirts, shorts, and low cuts while we watch all those young, well dressed and beautifully coiffured drug sales people being ushered into the doctors office ahead of us in order to allow them to ply their trade.

I'm sure if I took up a collection in the waiting room from other impatient seniors, we too could come up with enough cash to buy donuts for the employees.

But, I'm sure my thinking goes much deeper than that feeble attempt at humor.

The French prefer to ignore our physically induced ADHD theories and instead treat the underlying psycho-social and 'situational issues' that may be the contributing factor for children.

It simply means that the approach in France is not so much to assume the problem is in a child's brain but that it possibly could be due to nutritional causes as well as the child's social context. They treat the symptoms with psychotherapy or family counseling.

They also examine the possible presence of foods with artifical colors, certain preservatives and or/allergens as a causation of ADHD. They are aware, as are clinicians in this country, that dietary interventions - including for ADHD kids - can sometimes help address the childs problems.

They also look at parenting styles for child rearing, particularly as it has to do with discipline that is consistent - no matter how inconvenient it may be for the parents to administer. To obtain that information takes time.

So, what's the answer? Would you rather have some psychologist or psychiatrist examining your child rearing skills and what kind of trauma you and your spouse might be causing to your children's growth - or simply give the kids a couple of pills and you all go back to sleep?

"Hey, my Johnny is a Good Kid - as long as he takes his meds."

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More in a later blog on child rearing differences in the two countries - and NO - I don't want to move to France.

 I just want to understand why we're so dependent on drugs in this country and also apparently so afraid to look at another country's approach in raising both of our country's most important asset -our kids.