CONVICTION

I had the occasion to meet a guy who claimed he had  been married for almost 50 years. Admirably, I said to him, "Congratulations! You must have married a true gem."

He replied, "Actually it was just the opposite. I knew early on I was wedded to a real shrew.

"The only reason I went through with the marriage was that I simply didn't have the courage to face up to her parents and the Preacher and admit I was drunk out of my mind when I proposed to her".

I immediately thought of a little ditty sung by "Somethin' Smith and the Redheads" in 1955 - but continued to press on.

"Okay then. But, later on, assuming you had sobered up, were any of your reasons for sticking it out one of the "Big Four" guys like to talk about?

He appeared to be puzzled by the question.

I repeated: "Why did you stay married? Was it because she was  rich -  a great cook - fantastic in bed - or possibly because  her dad owned a string of liquor stores?"

He shook his head and replied sadly: "None of the above. Actually, it was the contour sheets."

"Huh?, I replied in an incredulous voice I almost didn't recognize as my own.

He paused, then shook his head even more vigorously before clarifying his previous  response.

"Everytime I dared to picture myself as a single man I couldn't possibly imagine how I was going to learn to fold the damn things by myself !"

You got to admire a guy with that kind of conviction.

And, admittedly, the guy who just told you this story ought to be convicted as well.

Have a good one.