GET REAL

I almost fell off my chair when a Facebook ad popped up in the margin this morning and solicited me for the opportunity to meet "older women" .

After all, living in a 55+ community - called Westwinds -I'm surrounded by them - and I do love them - particularly two who have passed the age of 90, are still active - and truly do "look good for their age."

 Aggie and Phyllis - you go girls!

It was then the truism about "perception becoming reality" started to float around in my life challenged brain. You see, that last statement is a perfect example  of the concept- a perception of Alzheimers novicius - or , "I'm sure it's just the beginning."

If, based on the opinions of other folks, we "perceive" that we have become old, mind addled, vain, rude, petty, egotistical , etc , it can become contagious and soon morph into our "reality".

A couple of weeks ago my wife Phyl ventured up to the Thursday night Bingo  game and got a chance to talk to one of our "grand dames.".

She took a moment to respond to Phyl's inquiry as to how her day had been and then proceeded to describe a delightful day that included a non infrequent visit to the Moose that afternoon.

Apparently nobody had yet managed to convince her that she was old or even mentally challenged based on her insistance of taking her "lucky bear" to Bingo each week. God bless her!

If only life could be that simple - or is it?

We enjoy our community and the many people who make a point to speak to us when we're taking our little Chihuahua, Bella, on one of her Bataan marches around the neighborhood.

 These folks watch and sometimes comment - when "Bell" conceivably stops to smell every blade of grass that suggests prior passage by other critters. Upon confirming the message she then lifts a leg and leaves her own mark in double-digit measurements, a practiced act which I am sure she believes is equally "tantalizing" to those she precedes on her journey.

She has no idea how silly she may look  - and why should she? With that pea sized brain - (large in comparison with her body size) and an amazing capacity for love - she is clueless; and we wouldn't change any of it for a moment.

In some strange way Phyl and I feel better about ourselves, partially due to the attention Bella engenders as we walk her and hear the accompanied endearing comments from friends and strangers alike about her manners and friendly attitude. No animal enjoys a 'bum scratching" more than our doggie does.

We often joke that were it not for Bella we might never be noticed in Westwinds - not that this is always a good thing.

If you doubt me you might want to question friend Harry http://harry2335.blogspot.com/ about his experiences as past President of our little community - including the expectations that - in the middle of the night -his duties included  resolving  a plumbing problem one of our senior citizens was experiencing.

Now that's one heckuva opportunity to try to separate "perception from reality" and he appears to have handled it well.

Having him around was a real treasure for those of us with perhaps less grandiose expectations as to what Harry's duties included.

So next time when someone says mean things to you - don't internalize them - and allow "perceptions to become reality". You're better than that.

There are exceptions obviously, however.

When someone tells me how young and good looking I am, especially for  a septugenarian,  that's a completely different thing.

Clearly these people possess extremely good judgment skills and have absolutely warmed the cockles of my heart by exercising their penchant for honesty.

There is something to be said for - after many years of practice - acquiring the skill to shave this craggy face without looking in the mirror during the process.

Who wants that image looking back at me and disagreeing?

I mean, "C'mon - Get Real"!