2012 DARWIN AWARD WINNER

Occasionally, friends like Karen Sutch, will send along a topic that cries out to be included in my blog.

This time it was the announcement of the 2012 Darwin Award:

(Arkansas Democrat Gazette):

Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton patch on State Highway 38 early Monday.

Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after Midnight Monday.

Thurston Poole 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.

The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older- model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column.

Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White Water Bridge.

After travelling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles.

The vehicle swerved sharply to the  right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree.

Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended.

Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead," stated Wallis.

"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder.

Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Pooles wife) asked how many  frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck?

(Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did in fact effectively remove himself from the gene pool.)

OK, admittedly I did not check this out on any fact finding resource but I will offer something I recently did read in Wednesday's USA Today:

 Connecticut - Bridgepoint: "City officials have placed a security guard on paid leave for allegedly waving a toy gun at co-workers in the cafeteria of the city's Health Department. Authorities told News 12 Conneticut that April Robles pretended to shoot people earlier this month."

Question (1): Does April carry a  real weapon in order to properly discharge her responsibilities as a security guard - in Connecticut?

Question (2): What sort of a security check was conducted before hiring this security guard?

Question (3): As it appears April - the security guard - is on paid leave - would it be considered a conflict of interest if she applied to be hired as  an armed security guard in a Connecticut elementary school?

Question (4): Will we ever get it right?

The Darwin Award Winner program will probably always be alive and well.

Question (5): "Will we?"