A HARD DECISION (F) #

When you live in a senior community you take a real interest in medical breakthrough news.

The other day, last Wednesday - to be specific - we seniors picked up on the news about non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDS). Some, like me, got the news early, as my USA Today is delivered to the door.

Other male seniors, whose wives arise earlier than they do, discovered their USA today delivery service was apparently once again experiencing some real problems. There may have been another reason.

To help your understanding of theNSAIDS situation, please note that they include: Ibuprofen Advil, Aleve, Anacin, Alka Seltzer, aspirin, Excedrin, & Bufferin

It's been unseasonably cold in florida..

There are only so many things many of the guys can do at that time. Florida winter can cause shuffle board courts to start to ice over and normal early tee times to have to be pushed back, assuming there's availability.

Seniors are a hearty group, but if we slip on ice & fall on our keisters it hurts a little more than when it happens to baby-boomers. The discoloration and healing process sticks around a lot longer too.

So, when there are certain limitations to outdoor activity; alternative choices are necessary.

Some of the guys jump in the car and go up the road to the Casino. Failing to do so can cause more than a few to be cold cocked with hidden 'honeydoo' lists.

A few men watch hunting & fishing reruns. Some of us use the time to catch up on our reading, and/or write more "blogs". Some guys even accompanied their wife to the grocery store.

I'm more a member of the reader group - and on Wednesday around noon I found there are many more male readers down here than I could have possibly imagined.

I was shopping down at Publix alone at that time. What struck me was the great increase in loud voices, animated conversations, and general excitement in the store.

Some of gthe noise came from guys whose newpaper didn't arrive but who found copies on the rack at Publix. As they skimmed through the headlines - and read further - the clamor grew.

Guys were actually interupting their wive's as they were checking off items on their shopping lists. A real non-no in my book.

They were desperate to tell the wives about what they read . When they finished their tale there appeared to be a resounding male chorus of : "See, I told you it wasn't me!"

Alas, their excitement was quickly dampened. The information seemed to have fallen on deaf ears. Many of the wives clearly did not share their enthusiasm. They also didn't appear to be surprised by the news.

One guy, Petey Proudhomme, from over in Tara, was actually bending his wife over the frozen food bins as he fought to make his point. Alberta, his wife, in an excellent defensive move, pushed him into the rack of Heinz Catsup bottles, stacked pyramid style. That got the manager's attention.

Dusty Rhodes wife Velma yelled, "What do you want - you old foop?" (apparently a Michigan term.). Dusty, not to be outdone, shouted back , "I want your attention - the paper says there's been a breakthrough on E.D.S.!." She didn't appear to care.

Vinnie d'Angelo's spouse, Carmen , shrugged when she got the news. She also refused to feign any semblance of interest in Vinnie's excitement and instead asked, "Where in the name of God do you think they have hidden the grated parmesan cheese this time?"

Vinnie, her 7 handicap hubby came right back, as he was better at golf than repartee. He didn't pick up on Carm's superb command of the art of deflection and persisted, "Carm, I'm telling you there'sgood news about erectile dysfunction."(EDS)

Carmen's apparent lack of interest did not abate. She was sure there couldn't possibly be any bad news having to do with EDS. The last, and only, time this topic caught her eye, as well as her reflexes, was a few years ago - and she hadn't changed her mind since.

It was at that time that Vinnie had bought home his first purchase of Viagra - immediately after his annual chat with their family internist and then, the local pharmacist - both men, I should add.

Despite his excitement back then, the news had awakened what carmen was sure were her worst fears. But, the "worst" was actually still to come.

When Vinnie shared that Amin, the Pharmacist, informed him one pill could last 8 hours she fainted dead away, failing to grab the kitchen counter for support on her way down, and pulling her homemade pasta on top of her.

Now, Carm thought, "The old fool is back at it again." Quickly recovering, she tried to figure out where she hid that "stupid" Viagra the last time the subject had arisen.

The newspaper article Vinnie was waving in her face now disclosed that a medical study had found the regular use of NSAIDS could cause a 22% increase in the possibility a guy might no longer have to feel he was not 'The Man Of The House".

Well, while it made for good conversation for the guys in the Golf & Shuttleboard leagues when the weather warmed up that day, it is reported this medical breakthrough didn't seem to have excited too many of the womanfolk - at least in a positive manner.

What made it worse is the male excitement diminished even more the following day.

That's when USA Today disclosed another portion of the study: the frequent use of Ibuprofen -while harmful to man's lifelong fascination and favorite extra curricular habit- could cut their possibility of suffering from Parkinson's Disease by 38%.

Now that did get "Mother's" attention; and she was the one to share the news with her spouse.

The temperature has risen in the Senior communities - but that's about all down here.

One footnote: I couldn't sleep on recyling night; so I went for a walk.

During my long stroll I counted 27 wives pulling Wednesday's timely delivered edition of USA Today from some really creative locations under their night garments and burying them deep into the bottom of the paper bag in the recycling bin.

# ( F = Fiction)