"EXCEPTIONAL" EXCERPTS

Occasionally, I receive E-mails that have nothing to do with the Pirates, Obama, Sports, Reminiscing or just politics in general.

It seems like more and more the funny E-mails are becoming rare - and that's a shame in my estimation.

Here are some recent "excerpts that -are also exceptions" . I have edited or paraphrased some of them to fit situations to which I can really relate.
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Was learning cursive really necessary?

Map Quest needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

To the audio/video experts: Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray?I really don't want to have to restart my collection ---- again.

I asked a longtime married guy recently, "To what do you attribute the longevity of your marriage?" . His response was"fitted sheets". (Ask your wife to explain that one. You apparently don't do the laundry).

For all those of you living in a senior community, would you agree obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I wish that Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

I think a freezer deserves a light as well.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear get's dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them for ever.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I decided while attempting to master my new computer with all it's many intricacies that what is really missing is a sarcasm font.

Perhaps part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history when you die.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

Nothing gives me more of a feeling of power and camaraderie than when I'm in an entire line of cars that team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.

The first testicular guard, the "Cup" was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Show that to your wife - and you're exceptional too.