HEY, NOBODY ASKED - - - -

Hey, nobody never asked me neither, but:

If you have any doubts whether or not this country lacks proper exercise,visit almost any shopping plaza anchored by a grocery store - and count the # of carts abandoned on top of light stanchions, curbs, kidney shaped islands, small children and abandoned pets.

We met a buddy of ours recently returning a couple carts (besides his own) over by the local Publix. He said he saw a woman a few days earlier struggling to get hers to stay in place on the curb of an island about 10 feet from the cart return area.

Steve yelled in a loud voice , "Hey, what are you doing?" First embarassed she quickly fell back on that misplaced self-esteem Mom & Dad gave her. The woman replied, "Well, you know."

He said, "No, I really don't ", and walked away shaking his head.

We don't either. These people are the same ones who won't flush the urinals and commodes at Sams for fear of getting germs from the water vapor.

I still want to figure out a way to convince Super grocery stores, Walmart, etc into installing huge speakers on top of the poles of their shopping center. Each would be able to broadcast clearly for, say, a couple of city blocks.

Then I'd volunteer to sit with a few of my retiree buddies in a van that was equipped with a good amplified microphone. We'd drink our Dr. Pepper's and wear our Dr. Denton's while we each took turns coming up with appropriate critiques from a obscure parking spot location with the best visability.

Another idea was to install a strong but tiny magnet onto the front of each shopping cart which could be controlled by a remote so it would attach the cart to the rear of the culprits vehicle bumper as they attempted to leave their parking spot.

This would be followed up by the shopping center police making a citizens arrest at the parking lot exit . The charge, of course, would be "shopping cart lifting."

Maybe the cart could be rigged too so that it would self illuminate with those blinking Christmas tree lights. They could spell out :"HELP, I'M BEING CARTNAPPED."

Obviously, there are still a few bugs to be worked out.

See, what a Steeler victory in Baltimore will do for an old Pittsburgh guy with time on his hands.

Who cares if "nobody never asked neither?"