FRANK SMITH

Frank Smith was Mom's dad. He was married to my Grandma whose maiden name was Marie Smith. One assumes when they married it was decided there was no need to list monogram towels at the gift registry. Presumably, Grandma would just swipe some from her parents.

Frank was a short rotund man who smiled only when necessary. It is said he fancied himself to be a dude. Dad often commented about drinking with Frank and Charlie, my other grandfather. The line most repeated was, "Frank liked the ladies." ( Hey, Charlie liked his booze. )

Frank's most noticeable fashion statement was his straw boat skimmer hat. When he removed it one time at The old County airport it is reported two bi-planes were forced to land prematurely. His dark complected pate was as shiny as a mirror and just as reflective.

Grandma Smith had several unsuccessful attempts to have children who would survive long. My Mom was the exception.

Grandma was sickly, When I was just a young tyke Mom hustled Grandma and me off by train to go to St. Petersburg, Florida for Grandma's health. St. Pete is about a 30 minute drive from where my wife and I reside now.

When Grandma died they laid her out in the living room of their flat on lower Middle Avenue in Wilmerding. When you walked into the room her casket was resting against the right rear wall.
It is one of the earliest memories I have as a child.

I cannot comment on how long Grandpap was a widower. Perhaps my son Bruce and my brother Jim, who have researched the family, might have better information. However long it was, it wasn't long enough for my Mom, his devout Irish Catholic daughter. His second wife, Em, was never allowed to be called Grandma.

There are few memories of Em: She had a parrot, enormous breasts, and favored a purple dress which she always wore on the infrequent occasions I saw her. She also took away my dreams of inheriting a piece of propery with a cottage located at Geneva On The Lake.

The property was what my Grandfather had promised to me as his first grandchild. I know this to be true because Mom reminded me of it several hundred times when she learned Em had talked Grampap into disposing of the property.

I don't know a lot about Grandpap Smith due to his unfortunate decision to remarry and enjoy the comforts of - well, you know. He was invited to our home seldom and visited even less.

There is nothing I know of in recorded history that suggests Frank was the most clever of his family, but I do believe he loved me as well as my brothers.

Em died first - and what money she had accumulated via her marriage to my grandfather allegedly went to her side of the family according to Mom.

At some point , presumably after Frank had paid his appropriate penance, he moved in with us in Forest Hills. He was about 80.

It is said that while my brothers resembled my Dad's side of the family I inherited my genes from the Smiths. One look at a picture of Frank and a profile shot of my nose leaves little doubt as to veracity of this observation. Small winter birds took sking lessons when launched off our noses.

By the time he moved in with Mom & Dad , Frank had his share of health problems also. He couldn't hear a siren if it went off behind his chair in our livingroom .

I too have been blessed with this particular impairment. Some at my age suffer from CRS. (can't remember s--t.) My malady is CHS.

I am not bitter. Frank did live into his 80's and , besides, there were probably mosquitos everywhere at Geneva.