ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO PRINT

The title of this blog is taken from the upper left hand corner of The New York Times front page. That is, it was before librarians started to file it's copies in the Fiction section.

Okay, let me explain what is to follow:

Monday was never my favorite day of the week when I was employed. Not much has changed since I retired, as you shall observe for yourself.

I love to use my early Monday hours to peruse various media sources so I can be told what I REALLY read, saw, or heard over the weekend.

Yeh, I may THINK I know, but, I need the media to really set me straight in this age of information overload. What would I do without them?

Before enjoying a bowl or two of my cholesterol lowering Cheerios and getting to my USA Today I spied the latest edition of People magazine.

I subscribe to this now as the print in National Geographic has apparently shrunk and the subjects in their photos have become much more modest. Besides, People is better suited for allowing me to be "hip" when reading my grandkids comments on Facebook.

There was a huge picture of Heidi Montag on the cover which revealed she had 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day. I found this fascinating as I didn't know that was possible plus, I didn't have a clue as to who the hell Heidi Montag was.

This happens often as I continue to search for People's TV, Book and Movie reviews, a daunting task as newsprint containing page numbers seem to be in short supply.

I enjoy the reviews particularly so that I can later compare what the supposedly well informed critics have to say as they viscerate directors and stars whose movies later go on to make zillions and are enjoyed by many.
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I then move to the Mailbag section of People to see whether or not I agree with the opinions of the readers. One reader wrote: "How wonderful that Britney Spears is back on track in both her personal and professional life." (Shouldn't the readers have to include their age and IQ?)

My guilt for my lack of sensitivity increased after reading another reader's comment: "Sitting by the Christmas tree while reading your year-end issue has become a ritual for our family." (Made me wonder what the Addams Family was doing over Christmas. )

Having satiated my desire to be current socially, I opened my copy of Sports Illustrated dated January 18, 2010: today's date. I was upset as I had allowed it to remain unread from last Friday. I might have learned something that I could have used to advantage in today's call to my bookie. He reads only betting slips and racing forms.

The S.I "Lineup" page teased me with quotes from the major articles contained inside:

(1) Kurt Warner leads a potent offense into New Orleans. (Actual Score: N.O: 45 AR: 14)
(2) Dallas defense will give Brett Favre and Minnesota all they can handle.
( Actual Score: Minn.: 34 Dallas: 3)
(3) Colts beware: Baltimore is bringing its brusing defense and ground game to Indianapolis.
(Actual Score: Indy: 20 Baltimore: 3)

(Questions: (1) Does the library locate back up S.I. copies in the same area as The New York Times? (2) Is S.I.'s writers department where retired meteorologists go before they die? )

Fortunately, today's E-mail from my brother-in-law, Mike Galdino included several quotes attributed to Andy Rooney of 6o Minutes.

My favorite: " I have a right NOT to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off."

Now that truly is "All The News That's Fit To Print!"

Happy Monday!