The Grass Is Greener?

At my age, I often become frustrated with my inability to perform certain tasks that my grandchildren can while multi-tasking something else.

My computer, automobile, television and cell phone totally baffle me.

However, I've decided it's time to take the glass half-full approach and ask some pointed questions.

I'd like to see my lovely grandaughter Cassie who is out fertilizing farms on Facebook attempt to use an ink wiper to clean the constantly dirty ink pen that came with it. Would her fingernails all be stained from the inkwells on the corner of her wooden desk?

I'm also curious how she would have handled those ugly green wooden pencils that were about the size of tire irons and had actual lead in the center for us to chew and sniff. Mine was never far away from me as my first grade teacher, Miss Duerr had tied it to my wrist.

Would Erin have become upset when Miss Duerr smacked her knuckles with a ruler or sent her to the dark cloakroom until she learned to behave?

Could any of the girls have been able to handle the embarassment of non-membership in the elite 2nd grade reading groups: The Robins, The Eagles, and The Blue Birds because they were stuck in the dreaded Buzzards reading group?

Could Shannon have successfully put the wet clothes through the wringer on the washing machine without getting her fingers stuck between the rollers?

Would my grandsons Shane, Tyler, and Troy be able to figure out how to use a home phone that had no numbers to push or even a rotary dial to turn?

Could this same terrific trio ever have had the nerve to go to school wearing knickers?

Would Steven's shoulders have ever been strong enough to carry both The Pittsburgh Press and Sun-Telegraph up and down the streets of Forest Hills?

Would grandson Kyle know how to shoot marbles into the center of the circle without pinching them? Would he know that the Purees or Cateyes were the valuable ones in a marble trade?

Would Danielle know how to eat a cho-cho? Could she get a bottle of pop out of the old style vending machines?

Could any of the grandkids have mastered Taffy pulling - particularly when Taffy wasn't even there?

Would they have had the patience and talent to weave the multi-colored plastic strips into lanyards, key chains, and bracelets?

Could they handle a music source that stopped every 2 1/2 to 3 minutes because the record was over?

And, when little Liam get's here will he care about any of those things because he's totally tied up with challenges we can't even fathom today?

I don't know about you but I'm feeling pretty good about myself now.

So, there!