After reading today's article in The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette regarding the current status of the Santonio Holmes matter in an Orlando bar, I'm still shaking my head.
Any criminal charges that might have been made are moot as the Orlando Police Department made a decision to close their case. The plaintiff has decided not to press charges. It is unclear whether any money exchanged hands.
However, the article states the civil suit against him will proceed and the plaintiff's attorneys see no reason to "back down". The reason may be as simple as the legal requirement of reasonable doubt in a criminal case as opposed to the much smaller requirement to convict in a civil matter. (see O.J.)
While there is no guarantee criminal charges couldn't be made later - nor that a out-of-court settlement might be reached - this appears to be an ideal time for Holmes to countersue if the matter continues.
Given that the young attorney contended in his complaint that the Orlando Police Department and Holmes conspired and pressured the "victim" not to pursue charges, one wonders why the City of Orlando doesn't also research legal remedies.
Holmes contends that the incident for which he - a professional football player - is being charged was not committed by him, but, by a female guest at the Orlando bar he attended. In addition, coincidental with the police departments decision not to prefer charges - several details of the "victims" criminal past emerged.
We live in a legal environment where local financially strapped government seems to disdain prosecuting celebrities who can afford the quality of defense counsel that will end up costing the taxpayers money.
Even on a federal level it's hard to find the report of a financial settlement that is not accompanied by the words "no admission of guilt". Therefore, white collar crime stats are skewed as we seldom put the offenders behind bars.
"Settling out of court" appears to be more prevalent in a civil matter than a criminal case. In the latter the popular term is "plea bargaining". Regardless of the fancy legalese used to describe this by the media - the word that they chose to exclude from their report is that of "blackmail.".
Okay, enough of the pseudo-legal opinion of this writer. I readily admit I occasionally fail to recognize the difference between a tort and a tart. - so let's switch gears.
What is it about celebrity status that these Pittsburgh Steelers athletes don't appear to understand?
Holmes and Rothlisberger are one half of a tandem act that won a Super Bowl. Both are previously and presently involved in legal actions agains them. Should we also conclude that their success as professional athletes is the result of some weird strain of "idiot savant"?
Rothlisbergers transgression was committed in Georgia on March 5. Holmes is allegedly involved in a felonious act that took place in a Florida bar two days later on March 7.
Now, as a bona-fide resident of Florida, I realize mail service between Florida and Georgia could be compared favorably with the Pony Express system employed between Sacramento and St. Joe, but, doesn't anybody watch ESPN any more?
Why in the name of everything holy would you hear about your "tandem buddy's" latest problems in a bar and go visit a bar two nights later? I mean, at least give it a week.
How can we convince these two that they are in a celebrity category because God gave them the genetics that allows one - with training - sacrifice - good coaching -etc to achieve greater things athletically than your average Joe?
How can we convince them that there is a quid pro-quo expected of them in exchange for their genetic gift - vast fortunes - and celebrity status?
Answer: We obviously can't.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
ALMOST HEALTH CARE CHANGES
The following is from an E-mail I received and then edited out the political junk. Some of the lines were too funny to dismiss.
Please do not view this as an argument against the recent Health Care legislation.
At my age there is a tendency to look at life as a continuum and hope that someday we'll again view ideas like "delayed gratification" and "incremental progress" as positives.
PLEASE NOTE THE RADICAL PROPOSED CHANGES THAT DIDN'T BECOME LAW:
Annual breast exams will be done at Hooters.
Directions to your doctor's office will now include: Take a left when entering the trailerpark.
The tongue depressors may taste faintly of Fudgsicles.
The only proctologist in your plan may be "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
Preventive care coverage will now be "an apple a day."
Do not tell your doctor that the pants he/she is wearing are those you gave to Goodwill.
When you read: "the patient is now responsible for 200% of out-of-network changes"-that is not a typographical error.
The only expense covered 100% now will be embalming.
Your Prozac - for which you may desire to increase the dosage - will now come with little" M's" on the pills.
For those of you taking Viagra - the pills will now be replaced with a Popsicle stick and"duct tape."
As Carla , a good friend of ours, includes with every E-mail: "She who laughs - lasts."
Please do not view this as an argument against the recent Health Care legislation.
At my age there is a tendency to look at life as a continuum and hope that someday we'll again view ideas like "delayed gratification" and "incremental progress" as positives.
PLEASE NOTE THE RADICAL PROPOSED CHANGES THAT DIDN'T BECOME LAW:
Annual breast exams will be done at Hooters.
Directions to your doctor's office will now include: Take a left when entering the trailerpark.
The tongue depressors may taste faintly of Fudgsicles.
The only proctologist in your plan may be "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
Preventive care coverage will now be "an apple a day."
Do not tell your doctor that the pants he/she is wearing are those you gave to Goodwill.
When you read: "the patient is now responsible for 200% of out-of-network changes"-that is not a typographical error.
The only expense covered 100% now will be embalming.
Your Prozac - for which you may desire to increase the dosage - will now come with little" M's" on the pills.
For those of you taking Viagra - the pills will now be replaced with a Popsicle stick and"duct tape."
As Carla , a good friend of ours, includes with every E-mail: "She who laughs - lasts."
Monday, March 29, 2010
"EDJICATION ARE IMPOTENT?' (PART ONE)
I just read this: "Four out of three people have trouble with fractions" - and laughed. I did so despite remembering that the quality of our kids education is a real controversy today.
Should it be? Ever watch "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?" It's sort of a takeoff on the reverse intellect of the peasants and the nobility in a Monty Phython movie.
Here the questions are so tough that the contestants - many of whom have advanced degrees -are frequently forced to cheat off the answers of the highly informed grade school student panel members in order to gain the cash prizes they seek.
You watch this and say , "Do they really teach this in grade school now? Whatever happened to getting a gold star by coloring within the lines?"
In first grade I was a charter member of the "Buzzards" reading group, hoping to be called up to "Bluebirds", "Red Robins" or "Soaring Eagles".
My second grade math exercises were trying to keep "twosies" and "threesies" in order when playing jacks with the neighborhood girls.
Some of the quiz show questions include geometry, astronomy, and tough math. If these are representative topics and questions for first thru fifth graders why is there a controversy over our educational system?
Trust me, there is and nobody can seem to arrive at a consensus.The predominant argument is a lack of dedication by too many of today's teachers. Others look to an apparent epidemic in the frequency of ADD and/or dyslexia diagnoses as a contributing factor..
We still have many who see the dearth of people reading books and the increase in video games and TV watching as the true enemy.
There also seems to be a movement afoot to blame the absence of parental support as the real cause. Teachers in particular say this causes a ripple effect disqualifying many from the opportunity to enter college.
Finally, there are the higher education dissidents. They claim "This whole 'My kid has got to go to college" thing is an idea that is past it's prime. College is greatly overated"They take the view of the proletariat, concluding," What we truly need is just more good trade people"
Good point if you look at my "55 and older senior community". It is the many talented retired trade workers in our senior community who are earning substantial extra shekels to supplement their social security, etc and work only when they choose.
Me? I'm the hand eye challenged guy - and always was. If I didn't get a college education I'd be on a street corner imploring you to buy my pencils.
For some strange reason I haven't found a way to make a quick buck by lecturing on "A Comparative Analysis of Lexicographers Samuel Johnson and Noah Webster". The only Boswell my neighbors are interested in is Connie.
As a country, we lack cohesion in discussing the relative merits of education. One proud parent's bumper sticker announces that their child was selected "student of the month in the fifth grade". Another family's bumper sticker proudly proclaims "My fourth grader can beat up your fifth grade student of the month".
Is education overrated? I'm not sure how to answer. Too many variables, perhaps.
In my childhood neighborhood I had a friend you might call a remedial student now. He was very athletic and quite handsome. One day, after a riveting Junior High lecture on communism he raised his hand and said, "I think I understand Mr. Finfrock, but can you tell me - that Stalin guy - is he on our side or theirs?'
Not to fear. Bobby was such a good athlete he got a "scholarship" to a local steel community high school that was heavy into proselytizing jocks. He went to school only when it struck his fancy to do so.
Bobby became an honorable mention All American at one of the football factories in the Carolinas and allegedly married a beautiful and wealthy co-ed from down there. Another blow struck for "edjication"? Maybe, but not all of us can rely on those types of genes.
How bad is the education of our kids?" Is the whole thing overblown?
Not at all", claim the folks we like to think should know. They are those who are "doing the doing". Many are educators - some are politicians - and on both sides of the aisle - I might add.
Unfortunately, all seem to have a panacea. This is despite the fact that after "No Child Left Behind" we now have only 12 states who can claim that 50% of middle- class kids are proficient at 8th grade math. ( Yes, that's 50% - as in half.) It would also seem to be a knockout punch for those who contend that poor grades are a problem only for the poorest school districts.
The "No Child Left Behind" folks disagree with the protagonists for "Charter School Systems".
Then along come those who take the more pedestrian path and argue we simply have to get back to basics. Most recently it's the "Race To The Top" theory we're championing.
This is a program where 40 states"lobbed" in plans to the U.S. Department of Education last January in pursuit of $4.35 billion in federal funds made available to spur innovation in the classroom.
What? We want teachers to be innovators in addition to babysitters? Hey, I'm a big fan of incremental progress as opposed to panaceas - but why, after all this time, can't we get it right?
Educator and former presidential education advisor, Diane Ravitch totally endorsed the "No Child Behind " reform when introduced in 2006. However, in her recent book "The Death and Life of the Great American School System" - she trashes it.
Albert Shanker, the educational labor leader, was the champion of the "Charter Schools" approach in the late-1980's. Now, Charter schools are being criticized for becoming elitist and their leaders desirous of "killing off" the public school system. You can't possibly believe this is what Shanker envisioned.
He once said, "There is no more reason to pay for private education than there is to pay for a private swimming pool for those who do not use public facilities."
Shanker was interesting - even if controversial - and seen as a radical labor leader willing to close down schools to get what he wanted for teachers. He was also quoted as saying:"a lot of people who have been hired as teachers are basically not competent."
He'd have never made it as head of the Baseball Major League Player's Union.
That's enough for one blog. We'll visit some other aspects including results of speaking to actual teachers in a future post.
Should it be? Ever watch "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?" It's sort of a takeoff on the reverse intellect of the peasants and the nobility in a Monty Phython movie.
Here the questions are so tough that the contestants - many of whom have advanced degrees -are frequently forced to cheat off the answers of the highly informed grade school student panel members in order to gain the cash prizes they seek.
You watch this and say , "Do they really teach this in grade school now? Whatever happened to getting a gold star by coloring within the lines?"
In first grade I was a charter member of the "Buzzards" reading group, hoping to be called up to "Bluebirds", "Red Robins" or "Soaring Eagles".
My second grade math exercises were trying to keep "twosies" and "threesies" in order when playing jacks with the neighborhood girls.
Some of the quiz show questions include geometry, astronomy, and tough math. If these are representative topics and questions for first thru fifth graders why is there a controversy over our educational system?
Trust me, there is and nobody can seem to arrive at a consensus.The predominant argument is a lack of dedication by too many of today's teachers. Others look to an apparent epidemic in the frequency of ADD and/or dyslexia diagnoses as a contributing factor..
We still have many who see the dearth of people reading books and the increase in video games and TV watching as the true enemy.
There also seems to be a movement afoot to blame the absence of parental support as the real cause. Teachers in particular say this causes a ripple effect disqualifying many from the opportunity to enter college.
Finally, there are the higher education dissidents. They claim "This whole 'My kid has got to go to college" thing is an idea that is past it's prime. College is greatly overated"They take the view of the proletariat, concluding," What we truly need is just more good trade people"
Good point if you look at my "55 and older senior community". It is the many talented retired trade workers in our senior community who are earning substantial extra shekels to supplement their social security, etc and work only when they choose.
Me? I'm the hand eye challenged guy - and always was. If I didn't get a college education I'd be on a street corner imploring you to buy my pencils.
For some strange reason I haven't found a way to make a quick buck by lecturing on "A Comparative Analysis of Lexicographers Samuel Johnson and Noah Webster". The only Boswell my neighbors are interested in is Connie.
As a country, we lack cohesion in discussing the relative merits of education. One proud parent's bumper sticker announces that their child was selected "student of the month in the fifth grade". Another family's bumper sticker proudly proclaims "My fourth grader can beat up your fifth grade student of the month".
Is education overrated? I'm not sure how to answer. Too many variables, perhaps.
In my childhood neighborhood I had a friend you might call a remedial student now. He was very athletic and quite handsome. One day, after a riveting Junior High lecture on communism he raised his hand and said, "I think I understand Mr. Finfrock, but can you tell me - that Stalin guy - is he on our side or theirs?'
Not to fear. Bobby was such a good athlete he got a "scholarship" to a local steel community high school that was heavy into proselytizing jocks. He went to school only when it struck his fancy to do so.
Bobby became an honorable mention All American at one of the football factories in the Carolinas and allegedly married a beautiful and wealthy co-ed from down there. Another blow struck for "edjication"? Maybe, but not all of us can rely on those types of genes.
How bad is the education of our kids?" Is the whole thing overblown?
Not at all", claim the folks we like to think should know. They are those who are "doing the doing". Many are educators - some are politicians - and on both sides of the aisle - I might add.
Unfortunately, all seem to have a panacea. This is despite the fact that after "No Child Left Behind" we now have only 12 states who can claim that 50% of middle- class kids are proficient at 8th grade math. ( Yes, that's 50% - as in half.) It would also seem to be a knockout punch for those who contend that poor grades are a problem only for the poorest school districts.
The "No Child Left Behind" folks disagree with the protagonists for "Charter School Systems".
Then along come those who take the more pedestrian path and argue we simply have to get back to basics. Most recently it's the "Race To The Top" theory we're championing.
This is a program where 40 states"lobbed" in plans to the U.S. Department of Education last January in pursuit of $4.35 billion in federal funds made available to spur innovation in the classroom.
What? We want teachers to be innovators in addition to babysitters? Hey, I'm a big fan of incremental progress as opposed to panaceas - but why, after all this time, can't we get it right?
Educator and former presidential education advisor, Diane Ravitch totally endorsed the "No Child Behind " reform when introduced in 2006. However, in her recent book "The Death and Life of the Great American School System" - she trashes it.
Albert Shanker, the educational labor leader, was the champion of the "Charter Schools" approach in the late-1980's. Now, Charter schools are being criticized for becoming elitist and their leaders desirous of "killing off" the public school system. You can't possibly believe this is what Shanker envisioned.
He once said, "There is no more reason to pay for private education than there is to pay for a private swimming pool for those who do not use public facilities."
Shanker was interesting - even if controversial - and seen as a radical labor leader willing to close down schools to get what he wanted for teachers. He was also quoted as saying:"a lot of people who have been hired as teachers are basically not competent."
He'd have never made it as head of the Baseball Major League Player's Union.
That's enough for one blog. We'll visit some other aspects including results of speaking to actual teachers in a future post.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Brave New World
The title should not suggest there is anything in this blog that resembles the Aldous Huxley handbook for the future - by the same name. Huxley admits that his many experiments with mescaline and LSD may have influenced his satirical predictions. My drug du jour is old age.
No, this "Brave New World" is based on some simple observations of what's going on in this nutty country of ours. It is also not meant to refute our need to hear all sides of an issue.
The Sullivans from Forest Hills may not have been poor but they were desperately hanging on to that thin line separating "poor" from "low middle class" in the war years. We were not alone.
Back then, even if you could, you seldom went out and bought something you knew you couldn't afford - even if it would keep the kids from arguing that the neighbor kids got better stuff.
I had a friend who tired of hearing this argument from his daughter. He asked her to take a ride with him and started to cruise the better end of Westchester. When she became impatient and asked him, "What in the world are you doing"? he replied, "I'm waiting for you to pick one!"
OK, here it comes, and I'll spare you the ten miles through the snow part.
Our cost strategy in the "olden days" was to put on a sweater and/or extra blanket rather than shovel an extra load of coal in the furnace - to consume ALL the leftovers - to eat vegetable soup for three days straight - to plant a garden in the back yard - to wear our dad's old shoes even though 2 to 3 sizes too small - and to tie the soles of those shoes with a rubber "gum" band to get rid of the "clip-clop" sound. Oh yeah, and apples sauce wasn't so bad for dessert.
Most such plans worked and enabled us to get a better grip on survival during the hard times.
We did not explore all options. My suggestion that we contact the most wealthy childless couples in the borough to determine what my youngest brother might bring in the coin of the realm - fell on deaf ears.
There were many other examples but this would start to sound like a Russian novel should that continue to be our theme and that's boring even to me.
The first point is that there was no expectation that sacrificing would make us complete and bring us to "wealthy" status. It was more one of those "the sum of the parts excedes the whole" thing. (Don't bother to correct ). We felt that by making a commitment - including a budget - we could see some positive change and and "improve" our predicament.
That theory does not appear to wash these days based on my reading of the letters to the editor. For every cost saving suggestion, such as "malpractice reform", someone would inevitably come back with the argument that this is such a fractional part of costs contributing to the health care mess, it's not worth the effort.
Is there nobody around who still remembers the "The Parable of the Talents" from the New Testament? (Ahh, I forget we're not supposed to discuss religion - but, it's ok to trash the muslims?)
Despite our repeated failures we are a nation that continues to look for instant fixes and we abhor incremental progress via a denial of instant gratification.
I know this is not a unique thought and please be assured our mail contains no solicitations from Mensa. But, think about it for a minute.
Which situation would you rather be in: enjoying the pride of responsible ownership knowing it took you a little longer than your brother or cousin - or own a home " before your time" and feel the hairs on the back of your neck go up every time the mailman brought you registered mail?
A second point is to express our regret of the trend where folks apparently believe that "two wrongs make a right". "Therefore," the protagonist argues, "we did it before" (even if the results were a disaster) so, "we might as well do it again".
Think about it the next time you read about the report of a repeat convicted child molester..
Finally, we are amazed at our lack of disgust regarding people who tell outrageous lies on television interview shows -in newspaper reports - on talk shows, etc. What the !@#$ is spinning? How did the term escape from a discussion of fiber arts, exercise, and dancing ?
No, this is not one of John Avlon (The Daily Beast) " wing-nuts" speaking out. It's "Pap-Pap" and ole P.P. is scared to death about the world our grandkids are going to inherit . I also fear that should they have questions for me, I either won't be around to answer or will be busy drooling on my bib.
The number of grandkids I embrace has now climbed into double-figures. In the event that things don't improve and/or they decide to read this blog someday, it is my fervent hope they will find some clarification as to how we got there. I also pray they will be brighter and more analytical than their old "Pap-Pap" - and , possibly have a more open mind.
My hope, and prayer, is that they will also have a strategy for dealing with the intimidating person who asks of them: "Have you stopped beating your Mother - YES OR NO?"
Now, there's a Brave New World I could endorse.
No, this "Brave New World" is based on some simple observations of what's going on in this nutty country of ours. It is also not meant to refute our need to hear all sides of an issue.
The Sullivans from Forest Hills may not have been poor but they were desperately hanging on to that thin line separating "poor" from "low middle class" in the war years. We were not alone.
Back then, even if you could, you seldom went out and bought something you knew you couldn't afford - even if it would keep the kids from arguing that the neighbor kids got better stuff.
I had a friend who tired of hearing this argument from his daughter. He asked her to take a ride with him and started to cruise the better end of Westchester. When she became impatient and asked him, "What in the world are you doing"? he replied, "I'm waiting for you to pick one!"
OK, here it comes, and I'll spare you the ten miles through the snow part.
Our cost strategy in the "olden days" was to put on a sweater and/or extra blanket rather than shovel an extra load of coal in the furnace - to consume ALL the leftovers - to eat vegetable soup for three days straight - to plant a garden in the back yard - to wear our dad's old shoes even though 2 to 3 sizes too small - and to tie the soles of those shoes with a rubber "gum" band to get rid of the "clip-clop" sound. Oh yeah, and apples sauce wasn't so bad for dessert.
Most such plans worked and enabled us to get a better grip on survival during the hard times.
We did not explore all options. My suggestion that we contact the most wealthy childless couples in the borough to determine what my youngest brother might bring in the coin of the realm - fell on deaf ears.
There were many other examples but this would start to sound like a Russian novel should that continue to be our theme and that's boring even to me.
The first point is that there was no expectation that sacrificing would make us complete and bring us to "wealthy" status. It was more one of those "the sum of the parts excedes the whole" thing. (Don't bother to correct ). We felt that by making a commitment - including a budget - we could see some positive change and and "improve" our predicament.
That theory does not appear to wash these days based on my reading of the letters to the editor. For every cost saving suggestion, such as "malpractice reform", someone would inevitably come back with the argument that this is such a fractional part of costs contributing to the health care mess, it's not worth the effort.
Is there nobody around who still remembers the "The Parable of the Talents" from the New Testament? (Ahh, I forget we're not supposed to discuss religion - but, it's ok to trash the muslims?)
Despite our repeated failures we are a nation that continues to look for instant fixes and we abhor incremental progress via a denial of instant gratification.
I know this is not a unique thought and please be assured our mail contains no solicitations from Mensa. But, think about it for a minute.
Which situation would you rather be in: enjoying the pride of responsible ownership knowing it took you a little longer than your brother or cousin - or own a home " before your time" and feel the hairs on the back of your neck go up every time the mailman brought you registered mail?
A second point is to express our regret of the trend where folks apparently believe that "two wrongs make a right". "Therefore," the protagonist argues, "we did it before" (even if the results were a disaster) so, "we might as well do it again".
Think about it the next time you read about the report of a repeat convicted child molester..
Finally, we are amazed at our lack of disgust regarding people who tell outrageous lies on television interview shows -in newspaper reports - on talk shows, etc. What the !@#$ is spinning? How did the term escape from a discussion of fiber arts, exercise, and dancing ?
No, this is not one of John Avlon (The Daily Beast) " wing-nuts" speaking out. It's "Pap-Pap" and ole P.P. is scared to death about the world our grandkids are going to inherit . I also fear that should they have questions for me, I either won't be around to answer or will be busy drooling on my bib.
The number of grandkids I embrace has now climbed into double-figures. In the event that things don't improve and/or they decide to read this blog someday, it is my fervent hope they will find some clarification as to how we got there. I also pray they will be brighter and more analytical than their old "Pap-Pap" - and , possibly have a more open mind.
My hope, and prayer, is that they will also have a strategy for dealing with the intimidating person who asks of them: "Have you stopped beating your Mother - YES OR NO?"
Now, there's a Brave New World I could endorse.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
THE LUCK OF THE IRISH
A friend of mine once told me: "My wife and I had words - but, I didn't get to use mine."
Another friend of mine recently had the gall to suggest there were few words I had left unused.
Many men, while happily married, have words they never get to use. That may well be the reason they are happily married.
A popular saying is: "God made man before women so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question."
Once we recognize that the sexes are truly different and stop trying to erase that difference we start to take some positive steps.
It is well known that man's biggest problem -when a woman tells him she has a problem- is to offer advice as to how the problem can be resolved.
This huge failing generally results in the words: "You never listen to me."
I say, "C'mon. Cut the guy a break. You readily admit to this "love of your life" (the home repair challenged one) that he can't walk and chew gum at the same time. Despite this, you don't really understand why he hasn't mastered listening , thinking, and talking all at the same time?"
Women are different. They tend to just keep talking, and make several practice runs, knowing, " in there somewhere is the thing for which I'm really ticked off."
And, that's okay. We all have our own style.
Occasionally, it occurs to me:"I may have overreached in attempting to get in touch with my feminine side!"
But, is there any happy couple who hasn't learned that it takes much less time for two to look for glasses, keys, a missing phone number and the remote; once they have developed a system and divided the responsibilities as well as determining the "usual suspects" hiding places?
When you get older don't you also recognize it takes two people to replace the missing screw in one pair of glasses?
If any - or all of this - seems to make sense - I shake my head in surprise.
You see, it's St. Paddy's Day, my McDonalds doesn't sell Shamrock Shakes, and I'm feeling really "discomboobulated".
Folks, have a Happy St. Patricks Day - and tell yourself -" Self, this is one St. Patty's Day I'm not getting hauled off in the Paddy Wagon!"
Another friend of mine recently had the gall to suggest there were few words I had left unused.
Many men, while happily married, have words they never get to use. That may well be the reason they are happily married.
A popular saying is: "God made man before women so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question."
Once we recognize that the sexes are truly different and stop trying to erase that difference we start to take some positive steps.
It is well known that man's biggest problem -when a woman tells him she has a problem- is to offer advice as to how the problem can be resolved.
This huge failing generally results in the words: "You never listen to me."
I say, "C'mon. Cut the guy a break. You readily admit to this "love of your life" (the home repair challenged one) that he can't walk and chew gum at the same time. Despite this, you don't really understand why he hasn't mastered listening , thinking, and talking all at the same time?"
Women are different. They tend to just keep talking, and make several practice runs, knowing, " in there somewhere is the thing for which I'm really ticked off."
And, that's okay. We all have our own style.
Occasionally, it occurs to me:"I may have overreached in attempting to get in touch with my feminine side!"
But, is there any happy couple who hasn't learned that it takes much less time for two to look for glasses, keys, a missing phone number and the remote; once they have developed a system and divided the responsibilities as well as determining the "usual suspects" hiding places?
When you get older don't you also recognize it takes two people to replace the missing screw in one pair of glasses?
If any - or all of this - seems to make sense - I shake my head in surprise.
You see, it's St. Paddy's Day, my McDonalds doesn't sell Shamrock Shakes, and I'm feeling really "discomboobulated".
Folks, have a Happy St. Patricks Day - and tell yourself -" Self, this is one St. Patty's Day I'm not getting hauled off in the Paddy Wagon!"
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
MISTAKEN IDENTITY
I was walking into Geckos on 70 the other night using the front door to avoid the smokers on the patio.
As I stepped through the doorway a platoon of people started to file out to my right. The passage was narrow and I leaned against a table by the interior wall and facing the door in order to give the satiated guests more room.
One little guy was holding up the line. He had his thumbs tucked into his overall straps and was taking deliberate "little guy" steps with larger than normal stride aspirations.
He had this grin on his face that was precious. It was apparent he was aware he was holding up the rest of the large dinner party. I exchanged big smiles with him.
A woman best described as of "mom age" looked at me as the boy passed and said , "we all have days like that".
I figured she was speaking of the little guy, nodded my head and replied: "10 grandchildren".
As I was walking to join my wife in the back - still smiling at the antics of the little guy- it occurred to me she may have simply been referencing my pose as, you know, "that older gentleman who was leaning against the table."
Heck, what the kid was doing - she was probably used to seeing.
As I stepped through the doorway a platoon of people started to file out to my right. The passage was narrow and I leaned against a table by the interior wall and facing the door in order to give the satiated guests more room.
One little guy was holding up the line. He had his thumbs tucked into his overall straps and was taking deliberate "little guy" steps with larger than normal stride aspirations.
He had this grin on his face that was precious. It was apparent he was aware he was holding up the rest of the large dinner party. I exchanged big smiles with him.
A woman best described as of "mom age" looked at me as the boy passed and said , "we all have days like that".
I figured she was speaking of the little guy, nodded my head and replied: "10 grandchildren".
As I was walking to join my wife in the back - still smiling at the antics of the little guy- it occurred to me she may have simply been referencing my pose as, you know, "that older gentleman who was leaning against the table."
Heck, what the kid was doing - she was probably used to seeing.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
A MANDATE & A PAUSE BUTTON
The word "mandate" in our blog title is both a noun and a transitive verb.
Now, that first sentence is bound to win the prize for the most boring opening sentence ever recorded. However, I just couldn't get Snoopy's: "it was a cold and rainy night" to fit in. Stick with me on this.
The fact that the word fits both grammatical classifications is not surprising. What is surprising is what people do with their use of a "mandate".
We have a tendency in this country to give mandates to people. No, they are not commands. They are closer to total unconditional acceptance; and, they don't work.
My wife, Phyl, compares it to her recently buying a red onion, taking it home and after unwrapping the many layers, finding a rotten spot she just did not and could not anticipate.
We gave Nixon a mandate as he sought a second term - he gave us Watergate in return.
We gave Tiger Woods everything but the Navy Cross - he gave us a small number of groupies and a large amount of groping.
The people of Pittsburgh gave two time Super Bowl winner Ben Rothisberger a mandate and now Benny appears to be totally fixated on trying to give it back.
The problem with mandates is that there are a tremendous amount of people like Tiger or Ben who have difficulty determining what, if anything, they could ever do that we would not excuse or understand. They do not appreciate their responsibility to their mandate, nor. being fortunate.
When my working wife says sardonically to me, the retiree who just complained about having to wait in a line at McDonalds to get her a diet coke: "It must have been exhausting for you!" - she's right.
To Tiger's credit, he appears to understand that what he did was not a slip of the tongue, (don't go there!) but truly was his total abuse of the golfing publics mandate.
It matters not whether the offender is a politician, a member of the cloth, a teacher in middle school, or even the milkman whose route changed but continued to deliver milk to the Widow Jones.
We gave all of these people not only a mandate, but our trust. And yes, sadly they and many other people who are the recipients of our unbelievable stupidity -will continue to abuse it.
We are slow to recognize our input in "The Human Condition". We camouflage it under our outrage at our fallen heroes. We are fascinating.
We see a tall man of color approaching us at night on a dark street and quickly size up the situation. We then realize it's Michael Jordan. We frantically search for something for him to autograph or a question to ask . Alas and alack, the person turns out to be a Michael "lookalike", - on crack- who mugs us .
We played a part in that human transaction.
It's not just our heroes avarice, over-sexed personna, or lack of judgment that impacts us. It has as much to do with the feeling of superiority they acquire. Their "misplaced" feeling comes in a large measure from our "misplaced" outpouring of idolation and trust, without applying "the pause button."
We then say,"are these folks doing anything different than your brother,'The CPA', is doing with that Sunday School teacher? I expected as much from him the day I met him." Yeah, we had "a pause button" then, by golly.
The offenses committed by our heroes are similar to the syndrome wherein very intelligent people (VIP's) assume everybody else in the world is stupid. Therefore, they feel they can commit their deeds and voice their opinions with impunity as if they were written on stone tablets. They fear neither discovery nor rational decision making by their audience.
But, don't all of us know someone with a limited education who had both common sense and intelligence pouring out of every torn seam of their clothing? Their lack of formal education didn't get in the way of them simply saying to themselves, "HUH?"
So, why don't we do that with "the spinners" and "subject changers"?
I get so upset at the many "opposing views" written in response to the "our view" column by the editorial board of USA Today - who, occasionally do get it right.
Such a case occurred today when the USA Today "finally" took on the ethics (or lack of same) in Congress. It said basically the same thing about the Office of Congressional Ethics (OCE) that this blog and surely others must have covered recently.
The rebuttal was written by Michael Capuano, D, Mass, who headed a "bipartisan" task force on ethics enforcement. I imagine Mikey probably falls into that "highly intelligent" group we referenced and felt his reply would be as palatable and satisfying as my wife's cooking.
Mercifully, I won't issue an " item by item" veto here.
When someone says or does anything that just doesn't match up with what we know, it's time for us to consider taking back the mandate. A golfer, idolized by kids, who knows he is constantly being miked and still repeatedly uses 4 letter words after a missed shot, should give all of us an opportunity to hit that old pause button and say, "HUH?".
Our actions may benefit both parties.
Now, that first sentence is bound to win the prize for the most boring opening sentence ever recorded. However, I just couldn't get Snoopy's: "it was a cold and rainy night" to fit in. Stick with me on this.
The fact that the word fits both grammatical classifications is not surprising. What is surprising is what people do with their use of a "mandate".
We have a tendency in this country to give mandates to people. No, they are not commands. They are closer to total unconditional acceptance; and, they don't work.
My wife, Phyl, compares it to her recently buying a red onion, taking it home and after unwrapping the many layers, finding a rotten spot she just did not and could not anticipate.
We gave Nixon a mandate as he sought a second term - he gave us Watergate in return.
We gave Tiger Woods everything but the Navy Cross - he gave us a small number of groupies and a large amount of groping.
The people of Pittsburgh gave two time Super Bowl winner Ben Rothisberger a mandate and now Benny appears to be totally fixated on trying to give it back.
The problem with mandates is that there are a tremendous amount of people like Tiger or Ben who have difficulty determining what, if anything, they could ever do that we would not excuse or understand. They do not appreciate their responsibility to their mandate, nor. being fortunate.
When my working wife says sardonically to me, the retiree who just complained about having to wait in a line at McDonalds to get her a diet coke: "It must have been exhausting for you!" - she's right.
To Tiger's credit, he appears to understand that what he did was not a slip of the tongue, (don't go there!) but truly was his total abuse of the golfing publics mandate.
It matters not whether the offender is a politician, a member of the cloth, a teacher in middle school, or even the milkman whose route changed but continued to deliver milk to the Widow Jones.
We gave all of these people not only a mandate, but our trust. And yes, sadly they and many other people who are the recipients of our unbelievable stupidity -will continue to abuse it.
We are slow to recognize our input in "The Human Condition". We camouflage it under our outrage at our fallen heroes. We are fascinating.
We see a tall man of color approaching us at night on a dark street and quickly size up the situation. We then realize it's Michael Jordan. We frantically search for something for him to autograph or a question to ask . Alas and alack, the person turns out to be a Michael "lookalike", - on crack- who mugs us .
We played a part in that human transaction.
It's not just our heroes avarice, over-sexed personna, or lack of judgment that impacts us. It has as much to do with the feeling of superiority they acquire. Their "misplaced" feeling comes in a large measure from our "misplaced" outpouring of idolation and trust, without applying "the pause button."
We then say,"are these folks doing anything different than your brother,'The CPA', is doing with that Sunday School teacher? I expected as much from him the day I met him." Yeah, we had "a pause button" then, by golly.
The offenses committed by our heroes are similar to the syndrome wherein very intelligent people (VIP's) assume everybody else in the world is stupid. Therefore, they feel they can commit their deeds and voice their opinions with impunity as if they were written on stone tablets. They fear neither discovery nor rational decision making by their audience.
But, don't all of us know someone with a limited education who had both common sense and intelligence pouring out of every torn seam of their clothing? Their lack of formal education didn't get in the way of them simply saying to themselves, "HUH?"
So, why don't we do that with "the spinners" and "subject changers"?
I get so upset at the many "opposing views" written in response to the "our view" column by the editorial board of USA Today - who, occasionally do get it right.
Such a case occurred today when the USA Today "finally" took on the ethics (or lack of same) in Congress. It said basically the same thing about the Office of Congressional Ethics (OCE) that this blog and surely others must have covered recently.
The rebuttal was written by Michael Capuano, D, Mass, who headed a "bipartisan" task force on ethics enforcement. I imagine Mikey probably falls into that "highly intelligent" group we referenced and felt his reply would be as palatable and satisfying as my wife's cooking.
Mercifully, I won't issue an " item by item" veto here.
When someone says or does anything that just doesn't match up with what we know, it's time for us to consider taking back the mandate. A golfer, idolized by kids, who knows he is constantly being miked and still repeatedly uses 4 letter words after a missed shot, should give all of us an opportunity to hit that old pause button and say, "HUH?".
Our actions may benefit both parties.
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