TO MY GRANDKIDS - READING SMARTLY

As a kid I read a lot - and was alleged to have the reading skills of male classmates 4 or 5 grades higher - most of whom at my age and size - appeared to be Cro-Magnum - not really serious readers.

Despite this, I didn't particularly enjoy the reading comprehension tests I had to take in school.

I read fast - but not always SMARTLY. That may or may not have been because I was A.D.D - a diagnosis almost unheard of at that time - but popular as you guys may have wrestled with schoolwork.

Regardless, I didn't score particularly well on this type of test and overall was not a great student back then.

However, for some reason or other - when I got old and fat - I found I was better than "the average bear" at things like trivia contests. It seems that now I could recall some of the more obscure facts that my teachers back then were desperately trying to pound into my thick Irish skill.

I guess I wasn't on a 7 second delay in school. It was more like a 60 to 70 year delay.

So, what does this have to do with you?  Well, I concluded some time ago you're all fairly bright, (and funny too) but some of you may be better students than others.

Like your Pap that may be due to many reasons - lack of comprehension, too many distractions - a dearth of interest in non-fiction reading, or simply the overdeveloped ability you have to con your parents.

Hopefully, I may have come up with something that might improve your reading skills - or at least your reading comprehension - if you're interested.

I saw this headline recently - along with a picture of Barbara Bush - our former First Lady: "Bush literacy program marks 25th year". I then remarked to Grandma Phyllis, "She otter be pretty well learned by now."

Silly? Perhaps. But, the message is you can have fun with headlines, peoples' opinions, prejudices etc if you just take the time to think about what you're reading; and what it's not saying, as well as what it's trying to convince you.

Take this seemingly innoculous article dated March 6 and captioned  "Consumers plan to spend less eating out."

So,what does "spend less" mean? Are they going to increase their mooching off friends and family in order to get a free meal but eat just as often?

Perhaps, in a tough economy, it could mean the female population has decided to go out to dinner with the truly ugly dudes who they conclude will spend almost anything if they think they're going to get lucky - and they know they can run faster than them.

If the answer to "spend less" is frugality maybe they're going to "eat" the same but not include the tax on the bill when they tip? Hey, it's possible. Who knows?

Maybe we should consider their responses at the time of this survey taken back in January (but not reported on until March) were strictly based on their New Years diet and exercise resolutions back then. Don't know about you, but by March, I've deep-sixed most of mine.

I'm glad I decided to check and see when the survey was taken.

In addition, I asked myself after seeing the headline : "Is it less money - or less time they're planning on spending - or both?" What's the incentive?

The answer is we don't really know - so we read further down the article where it tells us that based on their survey of 1,046 adults - conducted two months ago - people are allegedly going to spend 9.1% less on restaurant meals.

The article reinforces it's conclusion by telling us nearly 3 in 10 consumers surveyed said they expect to spend less. You, being  a smart nerd, realize that means 7 in 10 do not. As a matter of fact 59% expect to spend about the same.

Now, let me ask you, if the headline stated "59% of consumers expect to spend the same amount this year in restaurants", would you have even read one line more?

As a matter of fact are you wondering now why you bothered to read this far down the blog?

Okay, quickly then.

The idea of the article was to get our attention - and in my case it must have worked - because I'm writing about it in a blog!

However, the truth of the matter is revealed at the bottom of the article:

(1) "In past years, however, consumers actual spending has not always mirrored their intent."

 (2) The National Restaurant Association executives - while cautious - are projecting restaurant industry sales will "grow" 3.6% this year. Hey, who knew?

A final question: Does that include fast food chains? Smaller portions?

Trust me, you can have some fun with this.