MOM NEVER LIVED IN FLORIDA.

As we get older - at least this guy - we tend to resent intrusion in our lives.

When we were still productive - at least enough to have people willing to cut us a check every two weeks - noise, interruption, deadlines, and sometimes simply our need to ignore people playing with our heads - were all part of our work day - and dystopia was just around the corner.

We put up with it basically because we were convinced we had to, and for more practical reasons like the financial obligations that compelled us to do so.

That's why reading the following still has me shaking my head.

Back in 2012 a 47 year old guy who decided he had enough with unruly teenage kids, with their rap music blaring from their SUV, fired 10 shots at their vehicle and killed one of them.

I immediately recalled a memory of a friend of mine and myself  fighting back at kids "sound intrusion" while we were vacationing on the Jersey shore in the late 80's or early 90's..

As a rebuttal to the kids crusing back and forth - and blaring their music -we tuned our car radio to one of the oldies stations - rolled down the windows - and blasted it for any unsuspecting person in the vicinity of our extended ride up and down Ocean Avenue with our wives. We too wanted to share Our music.

We laughed a lot that day, acting goofy, as we demonstrated our vacation silliness far away from our workday distractions. We did so, as I recall without any alcohol or drugs in our system. We were enjoying the euphoria of being on vacation!

If our music that day wasn't so loud we probably could have heard some poor "youngish" shnook spinning around in his driver seat while demanding of his wife: "Candace, find out where the hell  that ungodly noise is coming from?"

Others apparently reacted in similar fashion.

However, one passing motorist  - probably of our generation - possibly realized what we were doing and, (presumably) sharing our petty displeasure with the kids and their music - signified his agreement by giving us  two thumbs up.

This was definitely unlike the more demonstrative digital response our loud music seemed to have evoked from other folks that day.

Well this 47 year old guy I was reading about wasn't us - and he apparently had a short fuse - not uncommon for a lot of drivers we've witnessed down here in Florida.

His car and the SUV with 4 kids inside were stopped outside a Jacksonville gas station when he demanded that the teenagers turn down their radio.

After exchanging words, the guy opened fire on the kids - killing one of them - age 17 - before the adult and his passenger then fled the scene.

There were no "thumbs up" that day - or were there?

The guy was arrested - tried - and found guilty of three counts of  "second-degree" murder for apparently (by one written account) "missing three of the kids."

This commentator also suggested "some members of the jury must believe the kid wasn't dead - and - at least one juror  believed the adult's 'lame' defense".

The real puzzle to me and, I'm assuming most reasonable folks, was that the jury were deadlocked on the question as to whether the guy was guilty of murdering the teenager.

Paraphrasing this writer's observation: "The jury also found the guy guilty of shooting into an occupied vehicle. But, it was not able to convict him of being
responsible in any way of killing the 17 year old kid."

As one might suspect with a verdict like this - and inferred above  - there were other circumstances alleged, of course.

The guy testified to shooting only after seeing someone in the SUV point the barrel of a shotgun at him. But, when he drove away with his girlfiend, who was inside a convenience store when this all went down, he made no mention of any shotgun.

When his "excuse" DID come out was when the police arrested him at his home the following day.

You see in Florida such an allegation enables one - such as this guy - to cling to Florida's controversial "stand your ground" defense" that permists one who has a reasonable fear that his life is being threatened, to respond with deadly force."

I should add no shotgun was ever found despite his attorney's allegation that the teens must have deep-sixed it during the short time they fled the gas station. That would be  before they returned for help once the realized their passenger had been hit - a very short distance.

According to the lead detective who investigated the case and presumably was subpoenaed as a rebuttal witness, the kids travelled  a distance of about 400 yards - and no evidence of the existance of the phantom shotgun was ever introduced.

Now, I'm going to guess, assuming I did not omit any relevant facts, that you who have now read this account are probably convinced like myself that this was a total miscarriage of justice.

Oh, did I tell you that the shooter was black and the kids were white?

Of course not.

That would be a lie - an act that, at least in my childhood - often resulted in my Mom placing a bar of Lava or Fels-Naptha soap in my mouth as a reminder of my transgression.

God only knows what she would have put in there if I had chosen to shoot at some teenage kids for having the audacity to play their music "too loud!"

Then again, we never lived in Florida.

WHY WE'RE IN TROUBLE -(It's all this chicken s..t!)

So, why did the chicken cross the road?

Barack Obama: "Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period."

John McCain: "My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chicken on the other side of the road."

Hillary Clinton: "What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road."

George W. Bush: "We really don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here."

Dick Cheney: "Where's my gun?"

Colin Powell: " Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road."

Bill Clinton: "I did not cross the road with that chicken."

Al Gore: "I invented that chicken."

John Kerry: "Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it."

Al Sharpton: "Why are all the chickens white?"

Dr. Phil: "The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems."

Oprah: "Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens."

Anderson Cooper : We have reason to believe there is a chicken but we
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road."

Martha Stewart: "No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information."

Jerry Falwell: "Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth" That's why they call it "the other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken was gay. If you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like ' the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road, and that was good enough for us."

Barbara Walters: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the very first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road."

Albert Einstein: "Did the chicken cross the road - or did the road move beneath the chicken?"

Grandpa Barry: "In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us."

(Many thanks to my sister-in-law, Doris).

IT'S ONLY FAIR - THE OTHER SIDE

I recently submitted a blog on men's attitude toward women entitled "Things I Wish I had Known When I Was Younger."

Daughter Beth (Modrak) was kind enough to recently publish on her Facebook page a "sort of" retort attributed to deceased 60 Minutes commentrator Andy Rooney:

"As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all. Here are just a few reasons why. A woman over forty will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, 'what are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over forty doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually more interesting.

A woman over forty knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give
a hoot what you might think about her or what she is doing.

Women over forty are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you  at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be underappreciated.

A woman over forty has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over forty couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over forty. They always know.

A woman over forty looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over forty is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you're a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over forty for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffered hot woman of forty-plus, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some twenty-two year old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

For those men who say,'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free', here's an update for you. Now 80 percent of women are against marriage, why?

Because women realize it's not worth buying an extra pig, just to get a little sausage."

Hey, it's only fair.

Thanks Beth.
.

DID YOU EVER WONDER?

Did you ever wonder why when you deposit a goverment tax refund check - not a personal check from a guy who lost a bar bet- not a payroll check - not a bonus check from Sam's - but a genuine US Government Tax Refund check - you are allowed to use only $200 - and have to wait for two or three days for the money to be available to you?

Did you ever wonder why Wall Street can borrow money at less than a 1% interest rate but your college kid has to pay through the nose for both college tuition and the student loan fee to take those required courses on credit?

Did you ever wonder then how Wall Street has the guts to decry the quality of the education our kids are receiving?

Did you ever wonder how many families actually make their college choice determination based solely on the schools athletic budget and win/loss record?

If the number or percentage for the last question is low - did you ever wonder why so many schools are putting so much of their tuition money into athletics
and so little into devising a plan for inexpensive quality education?

Did you ever wonder then how these college administrators can stand - with a straight face - and claim they are an academic institution first and foremost?

Did you ever wonder if only 1/2 of those putrifying Supreme Court supported political attack TV ads for each party's chosen candidates you're seeing daily - if not hourly - were true - why in the name of God did each party assume this was their best candidate choice?

Did you ever wonder when a candidate you supported and voted for, turned into 'the serpent in the garden" after the election, if this wasn't some sort of twist on "The Devil & Daniel Webster" or, for you sports fans, "Damn Yankees"?

Did you ever wonder what in 'hell' happened to these people whom you trusted?

Did you ever wonder why a nice guy - who happens to like writing a blog - intentionally chose to start off his week this way - particularly after hearing all the good news in church the previous one?

Did you ever wonder if the answer to all the questions is the same?

TO MY GRANDKIDS - READING SMARTLY

As a kid I read a lot - and was alleged to have the reading skills of male classmates 4 or 5 grades higher - most of whom at my age and size - appeared to be Cro-Magnum - not really serious readers.

Despite this, I didn't particularly enjoy the reading comprehension tests I had to take in school.

I read fast - but not always SMARTLY. That may or may not have been because I was A.D.D - a diagnosis almost unheard of at that time - but popular as you guys may have wrestled with schoolwork.

Regardless, I didn't score particularly well on this type of test and overall was not a great student back then.

However, for some reason or other - when I got old and fat - I found I was better than "the average bear" at things like trivia contests. It seems that now I could recall some of the more obscure facts that my teachers back then were desperately trying to pound into my thick Irish skill.

I guess I wasn't on a 7 second delay in school. It was more like a 60 to 70 year delay.

So, what does this have to do with you?  Well, I concluded some time ago you're all fairly bright, (and funny too) but some of you may be better students than others.

Like your Pap that may be due to many reasons - lack of comprehension, too many distractions - a dearth of interest in non-fiction reading, or simply the overdeveloped ability you have to con your parents.

Hopefully, I may have come up with something that might improve your reading skills - or at least your reading comprehension - if you're interested.

I saw this headline recently - along with a picture of Barbara Bush - our former First Lady: "Bush literacy program marks 25th year". I then remarked to Grandma Phyllis, "She otter be pretty well learned by now."

Silly? Perhaps. But, the message is you can have fun with headlines, peoples' opinions, prejudices etc if you just take the time to think about what you're reading; and what it's not saying, as well as what it's trying to convince you.

Take this seemingly innoculous article dated March 6 and captioned  "Consumers plan to spend less eating out."

So,what does "spend less" mean? Are they going to increase their mooching off friends and family in order to get a free meal but eat just as often?

Perhaps, in a tough economy, it could mean the female population has decided to go out to dinner with the truly ugly dudes who they conclude will spend almost anything if they think they're going to get lucky - and they know they can run faster than them.

If the answer to "spend less" is frugality maybe they're going to "eat" the same but not include the tax on the bill when they tip? Hey, it's possible. Who knows?

Maybe we should consider their responses at the time of this survey taken back in January (but not reported on until March) were strictly based on their New Years diet and exercise resolutions back then. Don't know about you, but by March, I've deep-sixed most of mine.

I'm glad I decided to check and see when the survey was taken.

In addition, I asked myself after seeing the headline : "Is it less money - or less time they're planning on spending - or both?" What's the incentive?

The answer is we don't really know - so we read further down the article where it tells us that based on their survey of 1,046 adults - conducted two months ago - people are allegedly going to spend 9.1% less on restaurant meals.

The article reinforces it's conclusion by telling us nearly 3 in 10 consumers surveyed said they expect to spend less. You, being  a smart nerd, realize that means 7 in 10 do not. As a matter of fact 59% expect to spend about the same.

Now, let me ask you, if the headline stated "59% of consumers expect to spend the same amount this year in restaurants", would you have even read one line more?

As a matter of fact are you wondering now why you bothered to read this far down the blog?

Okay, quickly then.

The idea of the article was to get our attention - and in my case it must have worked - because I'm writing about it in a blog!

However, the truth of the matter is revealed at the bottom of the article:

(1) "In past years, however, consumers actual spending has not always mirrored their intent."

 (2) The National Restaurant Association executives - while cautious - are projecting restaurant industry sales will "grow" 3.6% this year. Hey, who knew?

A final question: Does that include fast food chains? Smaller portions?

Trust me, you can have some fun with this.

DOES ANYBODY GO TO NEW JERSEY ON PURPOSE?

The problems of the Republican party and the bickering within are well documented. The musical theme at the next GOP convention should be "Send In The Clowns".

But, just when the clouds are the darkest, along comes this obese guy from New Jersey with the goofy smile, that kind of droops over the corners of his mouth, and we registered Republicans say, "Eurkea" - or something like that.

I mean, here Governor Christie is depicted in several photos after Hurricane Sandy with his arm drooped over the shoulder of  Darth Vader (excuse me, our President) and all the Libra's in the world - (like me)  desperately, but foolishly seeking balance or any sign of bi-partisan movement in the two parties, are clearly encouraged.

Then we have "Tunnelgate" or  "Bridgegate" or "Lanegate " or whatever suffix is politically du jour and on the surface it appears to suggest we chose wrong again. However, the verdict is still out on that one but if overeating is still an appropriate response to controversy - there goes the Governors' diet.

But, "fear not" gentle readers, New Jersey is sure to come up with something else - if we're just patient enough to wait. This time it was Rutgers University who came to New Jersey's reputation rescue.

The student newspaper and (allegedly) several members of the faculty have decided that Condalessa Rice is too "controversial" to be their commencement speaker this year.

C'mon, "controversy" was born and raised in New Jersey. Ask the many Jersey politicians now in jail or under house arrest because they negotiated one helluva plea bargain. Heck, ask anybody who has attempted to drive there.

There is one bright spot with Rutgers - it has a fine drama department - or did -  and I've enjoyed some great theater there, as well as at Princeton courtesy of a great family who live there.

However, with great drama comes a lot of those whom we used to call "dramats" back when Carnegic Tech (nee Mellon) was graduating them in  busloads during the 40's and 50's. They tended to be fun but a little "over the top".

And like the Nat King Cole and Sammy Davis Jr. "allegiance defenses" we used back then when accused of being racially prejudiced, I quickly submit that some "of my best friends" and most admired individuals were heavily involved in the theater.

I have no clue what percentage of the Rice protesters are theater graduates. I choose, instead,  to conclude that the protesters are just kids being kids.

Rumor has it even I was once a kid back in the day.

What I struggle with is how far students and faculty have strayed from those "black is beautiful" days.

 I can recall that if you were black - and invited to speak at a campus in the north - it was pretty much guaranteed you would have had the support of both groups.

And, trust me, I'm not speaking about "Uncle Tom's"

Ms. Rice is rumored to be a person of color - in addition to a fine pianist - successful diplomat and, our former Secretary Of State, as well as  the first black female in that role. I seem to think that qualifies her as a good choice.

Besides, she's a decent golfer, based on what I've heard.

Nowadays, it appears that political goose stepping has usurped a need for the continued pursuit and support of civil rights recognition in the college community.

I fault both parties for this development.

Only time will tell if another Rice - from a different political party - will someday receive a well supported invitation to be a Rutgers graduate speaker.

Thank God they've let Cape May alone.

QUOTABLES

From time to time I gather my favorite quotes. Here are a few.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Happiness: Money can't but it, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

                   Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

We hang petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office - Aesop

Guidance for St. Paddy's Day: Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.

The cardiologists diet: If it tastes good - spit it out!

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds  from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other - Oscar Ameringer.

I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not sure.

Have a good one.