A buddy of mine was explaining the other day why he always opens, reads his e-mail, and does what ever Publisher's Clearing House (PCH) instructs him to do.
"My wife left me last week and I miss having someone constantly attempting to make an ass out of me."
Years ago, I used to get those PCH sweepstakes notices in my snail mail and duly affix my signature to the numbers contained inside the mailing while returning one copy to PCH.
Sad to report but the Prize Patrol never came to my home and I continued to write those bad checks.
About six weeks ago I discovered, included in my spam, a new and improved method of PCH contacting me in order to assure I did not miss out on receiving: $7,000 a week for the rest of my life, free weekly foot massages by THOR, or something entitled "The Best Of Nixon".
I filled it out and promptly returned it after checking my CD library and confirming I had had nothing by Marni Nixon - or Audrey Hepburn, for that matter.
Big Mistake!
Now PCH has informed me ( via their two, three, sometimes 4 times a day correspondence) that I should be excited, as I been awarded the winning ticket in the drawing to determine who is their official BFF.
Now, I know what that means in computer shorthand, however I suspect their BFF is something entirely different.
(and yes, I could stand to lose more than just a few pounds)
Happy Monday!
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