HENNY PENNY TIME?

This is normally the time of year - halfway through the season - when we Steeler fans start to follow any team in our division that might possibly appear to present a challenge to us reaching the playoffs. Not necessary now!

At 2 and 6 we appear to have little chance of beating anyone but The Little Sisters Of The Poor - or maybe on a good day - Jacksonville and Tampa. Unfortunately, none of them are on our schedule this year.

We appear to be well on the way to the road to Oblivion, rumored to be a small town on the outskirts of Wilmerding. Like Heaven, it is quite difficult to pinpoint an exact location - but we are almost there.

I know the kingdom of Oblivion exists because many of the prime occupants: Henny Penny, (a/k/a Chicken Licken or Chicken Little) Ducky Wucky, Turkey Lurky, Foxy Loxy, and possibly even Goosey Loosey, are quite vocal as to all things Steelers-like.

They remain puzzled as to whether or not to tell the King of their latest discovery: the Steelers win/loss record, a more dastardly threat to the kingdom than could ever have been imagined by Snively Whiplash for that wiseass squirrel and his bucktoothed  partner; the moose.

Unfortunately, though they differ as to causation for the Steeler calamity, all these kingdom residents are agreed that the sky must be falling. They are not alone. Some of their clan have apparently moved to Pittsburgh proper.

As one Steeler fan who faithfully watched the Steeler/Patriots game - all the way through- I finally decided that my decision to do so resulted in cruelty that upstaged what ever bullying tactics Richie Incognito had on his menu.

Sad to report Henny, etc. but, the sky is not falling - we just stink and have for some time now.

Contrary to the conclusion reached by one pundit in attempting to explain away our increasing number of home losses, it has nothing to do with a suspected recipe change for the Pierogies served to the team as a pre-game meal.

Everybody is sure they have come up with that one true accurate explanation.

Included in this analysis is faulty coaching- the advanced age of the players - new guys who do not understand the Steelers tradition - the noticeable reduction in mobility for their quarterback - receivers and quarterback who are not on the same page - a defense that has a phobia about interceptions - runners who appear to have left their skills in the weight room - and injuries to the offensive line, the severity of which has not been seen since the implosion of the Republican Party.

But, the true answer to our multiple choice question may well be #5 - All Of The Above.

A search for a single important cause via the critics conjectures will be as futile as this writer trying to prioritize the reasons St.Peter will no doubt flag me and send me to very hot showers on that last great day.

There are just too many factors in the Steelers fall from grace for any of us to accurately pinpoint the main reason we might finally be able to get a home game ticket at a reasonable price (gratis?) this year.

Conclusion: As a professional football team - we suck. As a semi-pro team - its still iffy. This years on-field performances (or lack of same) suggest at seasons end (almost any day now) the Steeler organization and our new Mayor should designate a parade to Heinz Field for a ticketholder tailgate party menu consisting solely of Brussel Sprouts and Spam.

Now, that IS cruelty!

If you can possibly agree with the truism I have layed on you, why not give Henny Penny a holler?

And remind her, it is only a game. The sky is fine.