THE MORE THINGS CHANGE THE MORE - - - - - - - -

Dr. Phil McGraw is a pretty cool guy.We've been watching his show for a while now  and enjoy the counseling process - when in his hands - as opposed to the various "counselling wannabees" who also have dayime shows.

By watching Dr. Phil you always seem to come away with the feeling that what he said to some of his guests -msot often using the phrase "let's get real here" you'd have also said that if faced with similar situations.

That is -  if you didn't lack either the timing required or the guts to do so.

The premise, as portrayed both on his show and in his new book, "Life Guide",  is that some of the lessons we were taught by our elders simply no longer apply.

Here's an interesting guide to affirm that belief:. The first four words of each sentence are:  IT IS YOUR RIGHT:(ie.)

It is your right to do anything if it does not violate someone else's human rights and if you are willing to accept the consequences.

IT IS YOUR RIGHT:

 - to maintain your self-respect by answering honestly, even if it does hurt someone else -- as long as you are being assertive as opposed to aggressive.

 - to be what you are without changing your ideas or behavior to satisfy someone else.

 - to strive for self- actualization.

 - to choose your own priorities.

 - not to be subjected to negativity.

 - not to offer excuses or justifications for your decisions or behavior.

-  not to care.

- to be illogical.

- to change your mind.

- to defend yourself.

"The principle is that you should live your life doing things either because you want to do them or else because, as a personal value judgment or compromise, you have agreed to do them.

Any decision resulting in a loss of self-respect is unacceptable. You are not to do things because they are expected of you or because you think you should or because you will feel anxious or guilty if you don't."

Interesting concept - right?

Dr. Phyl's? Not necessrily.

These I've quoted above are over 30 years old and come from a book published in 1982 titled "Unseen Influences" by Dick Sutphen.

Like so much of the good advice available to all of us back then who were reluctant to hurt the feelings of someone else - the ones who MOST OFTEN took that advice and ran with it - were those who needed it the least.

After becoming acquainted with the "counseling theory du jour" they concluded they had now been given permission to do what they had been doing much of their life anyway - because they believed:"IT WAS THEIR RIGHT."

Now they are the very ones in business and politics who have taken the act of  "transgression" to new heights(?) and to whom most of us want to say, "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT". And, this time, we are the ones who are "RIGHT."

I sincerely hope that Dr. Phyl has better success - and believe that may well be the case - for many reasons.