PURLOINED PARAPROSDOKIANS

The above subject refers to figures of speech wherein the latter part of a sentence or phrase is a surprise - basically, not what you'd expect. Here are a few:

Where there's a will - I want to be in it.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you - but, it's still on my list.

Since light travels faster than sound - some people will always appear to be bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you - we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up - we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit - - Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism - To steal from many is research.

I didn't say it was your fault - I said I was blaming you.

You don't need a parachute to skydive - you only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Women will never be equal to men - until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.

You're never too old to to learn something stupid.

I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

And my favorite, (as it's so topical): "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."