SCHOOL DAYS

Do you remember the much recorded 1907 song "School Days"?

An E-mail I had just read and listened to about a school answering machine in Australia led me to look up the song lyrics - part of which are repeated here.

                            School days, school days
                            Dear old Golden Rule days
                            Reading and 'riting and 'rithmetic
                            Taught to the tune of the hick'ry stick

 One recording of the song was a twelve bar blues version - which based on teachers and administrators of the Australian school - would seem to be most appropriate. It sounds as if these folks are "feeling the blues".

They unanimously decided to introduce a unique school answering machine message.

 This was due to their frustration with the reaction to their efforts to implement a policy requiring both students and their parents to be responsible for their childrens absences and missing homework.

In addition to failing to hand in homework many of the students had missed between 15 and 30 days - "a semester."

The high school's determination to fail those students who did not complete enough classwork to pass the class enraged several parents who promptly sued the school.

The school responded with the following answering machine message:

"In order to connect you to the right staff person please listen to all the options before making a decision:

Press # 1:  to lie about why your child is absent.

Press # 2:  to make excuses for why your child did not do
                  his homework.

Press # 3:  to complain about what we do.

Press # 4:  to swear at staff members.

Press #5:  to ask why you didn't get information, that
                has already been enclosed in your newsletter
                and several flyers that have been mailed to you.

Press #6: if you want to raise your child.

Press #7: if you want to reach out and touch, slap
                or hit someone.

Press #8: to request another teacher for the third
               time this year.

Press #9: to complain about bus transportation.

Press #0: to complain about school lunches.

If you realize this is the real world and your child must
be accountable and responsible for his or her behavior,
classwork, and homework and it's not the teachers
fault for your child's lack of effort - please hang up and
have a nice day.

If you want this in another language move to a country that speaks it.

Thank you for your interest in public education."

My reaction?  Maybe it's time to reintroduce the ''school days" song.