PLEASE, HELP ME OUT HERE (F)

Please, help me out here.

Is there anybody - and I do mean anybody - who could say honestly that they know who Leo Berman is?

Okay, perhaps a few of you diehard " birthers" are familiar with Mr.Bermans great feats of intelligence and courage.

But, almost anybody outside of Texas who really counts either do not know the man or really give a good healthy whatever.

And no, he's not the comedian, Shelly Berman, who figured out a way to finish a glass of milk without drinking that dark speck at the bottom of the glass.

To this transplanted Floridian, the only thing worse than a Leo Berman is a love-bug. And we ain't talking about cute little Herbie. That is a car. Lovebugs are what is done to a car down here in Florida.

Berman is thought by many to be a jackass. He is still insisting that the birth certificate Obama released to the media is phoney and that the hospital listed on it claims to have no knowledge of his birth. PolitiFacts suggests otherwise.(thanks Harry)

Berman is a Republican State Senator from Tyler,Texas who is certain that the birth certificate is a lie. Please keep in mind this man is in office because people actually chose to elect him - and they are probably rooting for the Donald also.

(Any truth to the rumor that we might need to seek a new real estate venture based upon the successful methods France employed? Where is Devil's Island anyway?)

Photos of the Texas dude suggest he may have consumed way too much prune juice at one time or another - but, that should not allow us to be distracted as we watch Leo and others "search for the truth."

Maybe it's time to rethink our conclusions of the death penalty being a cruel and unusual punishment.

Couldn't we just take all the idiots in the world, line them up against a wall and - - - - - - - - - - - .

"Okay, Honey, I'm mumbling loud again and keeping the dog awake, right? I'll settle down out here in my office. And, yes dear, I do realize sometimes I get carried away and should not be allowed to read anything more controversial than Jack & Jill magazine - with the paperdoll cutouts at the end."

(yeah, right!)

"Of course, my precious. You know how much I regret that with the windows open - the neighbors are bound to hear me - and I know you're tired of receiving strange looks when you walk our dog in the neighborhood - and people keep whispering "she's the one who is married to the idiot!"

(Hmmmmm.)

"Yep, I promise you babe. I'll tone it down"

(sotto voce - okay, I think she's gone. So let's continue.)

Is it really a crime if, just because you were "allegedly" seen observing someone texting and driving and then, again, "allegedly, were observed to have pinned their vehicle in toward the edge of the road, until their car jumped the curb and smashed into a tree.

I mean, c'mon, you call that a crime? I see that as defensive driving. Who knows how many of us this guy was going to end up killing?

"Of course, if it was even remotely accurate I would only do the alleged act "after" making sure they were the only one in the car?"

(And you can be sure before taking any action I'd also first check for occupied tree houses and stuff of that ilk. What's the matter with you? Do you think I'm an idiot?)

Besides,I'd grow a new tree where the first one stood - maybe even three or four - if you tree huggers want.

But, please won't you first rethink that firing squad thing for all the idiots out there who are doing the following:

(1) Crashing our computers. (2)Stealing our identities. (3)Trying to kill the rest of us innocent law abiding drivers.(4) Continuing to write asinine things about Obama and his birth certificate.


These idiots simply cannot possibly have a life - and they want yours.

If you do rethink what I believe is an appropriate punishment, maybe I can then sit down and enjoy Jerry Springer, Steve Wilkos, and Morey in relative peace and quiet; cause I know that theres "the straight scoop.".

P.S.: Maybe we could sorta phase in that firing squad thing and, you know - possibly start out with super-soakers; then see how it goes.

Anyway, thanks for the help.