Absolutely No Truth

There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that NFL Commisioner Goodell was mugged in the parking garage under the NFL headquarters on Monday.

Thus, the follow-up rumor that the Commish immediately went back up the elevator and fined Linebacker James Harrison $50,000 for his obvious involvement in the incident, cannot be sustained.

This past Sunday the officials saw to it that, once more, James was penalized for his hit on the Buffalo quarterback. He awaits word on whether he will also be fined for that QB hit. His appeal of the $95,000 in previous fines was denied by the NFL the other day. Big surprise!

You got to feel bad for the guy if you later watched the tender treatment administered to the same QB by defensive back Ike Taylor and Harrison. The only thing they didn't do was to bring out a Serta Mattress before they jointly grasped ( not tackle) him to impede his forward progress.

I believe I saw one of them wipe his nose before helping him up. Them Harvard grads get all the breaks.

Despite all the criticism of Harrison by those who are not Steeler fans, he appears to be genuinely contrite - and scared. And, I am not being empathetic strictly because his surname is the same as my long deceased grandmother.

Some suggestions for Uncle James as he seeks a new and kinder approach in the remaining Steeler games:

Campaign for the the other teams' players to be required to wear sash like flags that you might grasp thus signifying you have stopped their progress.

Learn to yell loudly, "Look out, ready or not, I'm coming!" before making contact with any opposing player.

Each week, pay the NFL filming crew to send you a DVD of all the "vicious" hits by other teams' linebackers that were not called. Then forward the film to the Commish's office - return receipt requested. If that doesn't work, consider mailing them to WikiLeaks.

When approaching the quarterback, instead of striking him immediately, first reach up and remove his helmet before pummeling him with your fists. The fine has apparently been set at $25,000 - a much more palatable amount than the Price Is Right approach you have been enduring.

It's hard to imagine how the Buffalo Bills haven't won more games. No holding penalties? We had one guy who was assessed four, I think.

No, we're not being picked on? The Giants have now knocked "5 "QB's out of games? Anybody remember the penalties or fines?

There was an interesting letter to the USA Today editor by a guy who was a former high school football coach. He suggested some options to accomplish Goodell's Goodwill Mission. (GGM):

Move the defensive line a yard off the ball to lessen the blow lineman on both sides suffer, thus eliminating or greatly reducing the "launch" damage.

Encourage more "spearing" calls by the NFL referees similar to the high school rules making same a 15 yard penalty.

Declare that if the offending player caused an injury due to a helmet to helmet hit, the "bad guy" would sit out the same number of games as the injured player.

If the injured player is required to sit out the season due to the injury the offending player must do the same.

He reasons: "It is only when players see their livelihoods are attached to the well-being of fellow players that change will take place in the NFL."

Yeah, I agree there are more than a few holes in the above premise; but these are suggestions that may be worth discussing in an attempt to reach some sanity. God knows we desperately need some consistency; and this may be a start.

Of course, that's assuming the "Bully On The Block" ever approves of discussion as a plausible approach.

Oh, and there's absolutely no truth to that rumor either.