OK, I don't deny it. I actually was the one who did it.
I knew as soon as I got out of the car and headed toward the medical building. The stares. The smiles. The people talking to each other behind a cupped hand. Yeah, I knew right away, "they were talking about me."
I wanted to shout at the top of my voice, "Don't think I can't hear you snickering!"
It was embarassing. When I was a kid, I didn't have an original thought in my head. If my parents had named me Lawrence - I'd have been known as "Larry the Lemming." I was always trying to please everybody else. I had no backbone.
I was a shy guy who thought everybody was talking about me - making fun of my acne. But, now, I'm no longer shy - and my wrinkles cover everything. However, the truth was clearly staring me in the face. I had to ask myself, "Did I overreact?"
I had defied convention and now I was paying the price.
Yeah, I did the usual senior thing first, once I saw all the people looking at me. I went back into the car and checked my fly. I was amazed that this time I had zipped up before leaving the house. Don't even know why I cared. My underwear was clean.
It was Wednesday, the day I changed from Sunday's underwear.
"What's to worry about?", I thought. Still the stares were unnerving. I walked faster trying to finish my task and get back into the car safely before some thoughtless person said something..
I could already hear the voice of my sainted Irish mother shouting in my ear, "Barry, what were you thinking?"
Whereas at first I was embarassed, soon it was a little like going through the stages of grief. I now realized I was in the anger stage. "What right did they have to judge me?", I thought.
What was the right way for me to protest? How could I tell them they were the ones out of step - not me? I glanced at my reflection from the plate glass window in the corridor of the medical building. I could see I was wearing my maniacal Jack Nicholson smile. I swore then I would come up with something that would even the score.
Finally, I had it. When I got home I would do the unthinkable. I'd throw the cover, sheets, pillows and the mattress cover "helter - skelter" onto the floor. I'd then rip the label off the naked mattress - and post pictures of me with the mattress tag in my clenched fist all over the wall of the community post office.
I wasn't just mad. I was "darn mad."
I blamed it on being a Senior. As everyone knows down here Bealls Department Store has turned "Timid Tuesday" into Senior days - the day of the discount. Yesterday I succumbed.
The 401 k be damned! Bealls had their Cargo shorts on sale. I bought three pairs then carefully studied the cashier to make sure I got my 15% discount on each. It was the right decision.
Unfortunately, this morning I made a decision that kept my good decision streak at "one in a row."
I decided to wear a pair of my new shorts as I headed up to my doctors office for blood tests.
Yeah - I did it. Three pair of shorts and I had the stupidity to wear the white ones today on October 27th.
Mom was right. You just don't wear white after Labor Day! I'll never be able to face them again up at the lab.
It's not that I didn't care. It just seemed the white clamdigger shorts were the perfect color to wear with my pink golf shirt in honor of The American Cancer Society's "Strides Against Breast Cancer" competition.
You live and you learn.
But, "Hey Mom - just like you said - "Confession is good for the soul."
"Think Pink, gang!" This is a battle we can win.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
The vetting process - side by side.
Yesterday the local Tampa affiliate broadcast a debate between three guys who are the primary candidates to become our next Senator in Florida..They all appeared to be quite personable and articulate.
I later learned that one of the three candidate apparently has garnered the most support. I thought they all did well. None used the term transparent.
I realize that the process of "vetting" - carefully examining the record of your possible candidate - looking in every nook and cranny (and bathroom stalls, apparently) enables each political party and NPA to reach a decision that you got the best guy or gal.
After all your investigative work you concluded they were squeaky clean , were not members of a coven - and would certainly best represent your interests. God bless you for doing this job. But, I hate to tell you, I'm still in the 1/3 of folks who are undecided.
Here's why.
Trying to determine the best candidate from the TV ads is like trying to determine which popular actress did not have a boob job.
One walks away from the ads with the impression that all three candidates are either previously convicted felons - or should have been. "You think they trashtalk in the NBA? You ain't heard nothin yet."
Which raises the question, "If any of these ads are true - who vetted these guys? Ahmadinejad?"
It's easy for outsiders to judge Florida as just a group of seniors joined together at the hip for a photo opt depiction of "a huddled mass" and who are still confused over hanging chads.
Like I said before,"tain't true" We're angry about politicians too. We do sometimes tend to forget who it was we decided we were going to vote for. But, I'm sure that will come back by November 2nd.
If not, we all have those sample ballots we could highlight with our Bingo markers and take into the polling place.
We're also upset about the ballot propositions or "proposed constitutional amendments". I can see why. I read proposition 5 and 6 several times and assume they decided to repeat #5 via # 6, just in case we dosed off while reading it. (I know. It was legislative versus congressional redistricting.)
California makes it easy. Either you want to legalize pot - or you don't. But, for a guy who studied and interpreted a lot of technical legal "stuff" - I can tell you that - after retirement I went downhill really fast. I needed the Dick & Jane versions of the propositions.
I couldn't come up with the right answer 50% of the time if they were true or false questions. I'd be about as accurate as I was in picking World Series opponents.
My suggestions to my Seniors peers is "Either you find Cliffnotes before Tuesday - bring a cheat sheet to the polls - or have a surplus of Gummy Bears and Depends to get you through this travesty. It's going to be a long day."
Now, let's say you don't have a clue as to which Senatorial candidate appears to be less guilty looking. Perhaps, you're even more clueless as to which special interest is paying for those outrageous attack ads you're trying to interpret. Just keep in mind that you're exercising your legal right as a citizen of this great nation.
Now, if you really want to have an impact, fill in the little geometric form on the ballot where it says - "none of the above". Can't find it? Damn! Time for a new "proposition".
Tis sad. If we could all do that we might finally bring some sense to this whole process. Somebody would actually be forced to tell us the truth. Until then we'll be like the guy below when our own "election" honeymoon is over.
I say this only because this years election process reminds me of a great video on Youtube. It shows an elderly guy - singing a song about his recent honeymoon - to the tune of "Side By Side:
"WE GOT MARRIED LAST FRIDAY.
MY GIRL WAS RIGHT THERE BESIDE ME.
OUR FRIENDS WERE ALL GONE.
WE WERE ALONE
SIDE BY SIDE.
WE WERE SO HAPPILY WED WHEN
SHE GOT READY FOR BED THEN.
HER TEETH AND HER HAIR
SHE PLACED IN A CHAIR
SIDE BY SIDE
ONE GLASS EYE - SO TINY
ONE HEARING AID SO SMALL
THEN SHE TOOK ONE LEG OFF
AND PLACED IT ON THE CHAIR BY THE WALL
I STOOD THERE SO BROKEN HEARTED
MOST OF MY GIRL HAD DEPARTED
I SLEPT ON THE CHAIR
THERE WAS MORE OF HER THERE
SIDE BY SIDE"
Hey, I'll be standing there with you at the polls - "Side By Side."
I later learned that one of the three candidate apparently has garnered the most support. I thought they all did well. None used the term transparent.
I realize that the process of "vetting" - carefully examining the record of your possible candidate - looking in every nook and cranny (and bathroom stalls, apparently) enables each political party and NPA to reach a decision that you got the best guy or gal.
After all your investigative work you concluded they were squeaky clean , were not members of a coven - and would certainly best represent your interests. God bless you for doing this job. But, I hate to tell you, I'm still in the 1/3 of folks who are undecided.
Here's why.
Trying to determine the best candidate from the TV ads is like trying to determine which popular actress did not have a boob job.
One walks away from the ads with the impression that all three candidates are either previously convicted felons - or should have been. "You think they trashtalk in the NBA? You ain't heard nothin yet."
Which raises the question, "If any of these ads are true - who vetted these guys? Ahmadinejad?"
It's easy for outsiders to judge Florida as just a group of seniors joined together at the hip for a photo opt depiction of "a huddled mass" and who are still confused over hanging chads.
Like I said before,"tain't true" We're angry about politicians too. We do sometimes tend to forget who it was we decided we were going to vote for. But, I'm sure that will come back by November 2nd.
If not, we all have those sample ballots we could highlight with our Bingo markers and take into the polling place.
We're also upset about the ballot propositions or "proposed constitutional amendments". I can see why. I read proposition 5 and 6 several times and assume they decided to repeat #5 via # 6, just in case we dosed off while reading it. (I know. It was legislative versus congressional redistricting.)
California makes it easy. Either you want to legalize pot - or you don't. But, for a guy who studied and interpreted a lot of technical legal "stuff" - I can tell you that - after retirement I went downhill really fast. I needed the Dick & Jane versions of the propositions.
I couldn't come up with the right answer 50% of the time if they were true or false questions. I'd be about as accurate as I was in picking World Series opponents.
My suggestions to my Seniors peers is "Either you find Cliffnotes before Tuesday - bring a cheat sheet to the polls - or have a surplus of Gummy Bears and Depends to get you through this travesty. It's going to be a long day."
Now, let's say you don't have a clue as to which Senatorial candidate appears to be less guilty looking. Perhaps, you're even more clueless as to which special interest is paying for those outrageous attack ads you're trying to interpret. Just keep in mind that you're exercising your legal right as a citizen of this great nation.
Now, if you really want to have an impact, fill in the little geometric form on the ballot where it says - "none of the above". Can't find it? Damn! Time for a new "proposition".
Tis sad. If we could all do that we might finally bring some sense to this whole process. Somebody would actually be forced to tell us the truth. Until then we'll be like the guy below when our own "election" honeymoon is over.
I say this only because this years election process reminds me of a great video on Youtube. It shows an elderly guy - singing a song about his recent honeymoon - to the tune of "Side By Side:
"WE GOT MARRIED LAST FRIDAY.
MY GIRL WAS RIGHT THERE BESIDE ME.
OUR FRIENDS WERE ALL GONE.
WE WERE ALONE
SIDE BY SIDE.
WE WERE SO HAPPILY WED WHEN
SHE GOT READY FOR BED THEN.
HER TEETH AND HER HAIR
SHE PLACED IN A CHAIR
SIDE BY SIDE
ONE GLASS EYE - SO TINY
ONE HEARING AID SO SMALL
THEN SHE TOOK ONE LEG OFF
AND PLACED IT ON THE CHAIR BY THE WALL
I STOOD THERE SO BROKEN HEARTED
MOST OF MY GIRL HAD DEPARTED
I SLEPT ON THE CHAIR
THERE WAS MORE OF HER THERE
SIDE BY SIDE"
Hey, I'll be standing there with you at the polls - "Side By Side."
Saturday, October 23, 2010
LEGALLY SPEAKING
We have one heckuva lot of really good people in this country. I've been priviledged to be friends with a lot of them. Obviously they were not real picky as to their criteria for the acquisition of friends.
We also have a heckuva lot of idiots in this country. Some are genetically induced and some appear to be environmentally created. Overly permissive parenting is the first thing that comes to mind as a rationale for the existance of the last group.
We have a lot of people out there who honestly do not think they can do any wrong - or at least a wrong for which the rules apply to them. Fortunately they are a small bunch. Unfortunately they are the ones that get the most press.
EXAMPLE: The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette recently reported about a man from Uniontown who sought the help of the Pittsburgh Police.
It seems this lunkhead reported that the marijuana he purchased on the street tasted "nasty." He was outraged.
He asked the police to come and examine his purchase. When they arrived they found the green leafy substance laid out on a paper on a table.
The complainant was correct. What he had purchased - thinking it was marijuana - failed to pass a field test. Officers confiscated it but believed it to be a kitchen spice instead of an intoxicating weed.
No arrest was made - either of the distributor or the complainant. The latter did not purchase an illegal drug . Besides, the local Chamber Of Commerce would probably have filed an amicus curiae (friend of the court) on behalf of the former - defending their right to conduct business on the streets of Pittsburgh.
Please. Please. If you know anybody in California who has any influence as to the many propositions that are part of their ballots - would you immediately encourage them to approve the one that advocates the decriminalization of the purchase and use of marijuana.
We absolutely need to stamp out this type of wrongdoing, now happening in Pittsburgh. You don't need a picket sign to protest. Anyone with a brain can see this is a clear case of Res Ipsa Loquitor ("the thing speaks for itself") Illegal drug dealers are unfairly taking advantage of the less educated among us.
There will always be good people. There will always be some who are not so good. There will always be some who are feeble minded. But, it just isn't fair when unknown parties are allowed to take advantage of a poor soul like this Uniontown lunkhead. What were they thinking? Have they no conscience?
The only answer is to legalize the purchase and distribution of pot so that, finally, we can control it- avoid a recurrence of this type of abuse - and who knows; maybe make a couple bucks in the process.
We must protect our citizens.
The lunkheads' mother supports my petition.
It's her legal right.
We also have a heckuva lot of idiots in this country. Some are genetically induced and some appear to be environmentally created. Overly permissive parenting is the first thing that comes to mind as a rationale for the existance of the last group.
We have a lot of people out there who honestly do not think they can do any wrong - or at least a wrong for which the rules apply to them. Fortunately they are a small bunch. Unfortunately they are the ones that get the most press.
EXAMPLE: The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette recently reported about a man from Uniontown who sought the help of the Pittsburgh Police.
It seems this lunkhead reported that the marijuana he purchased on the street tasted "nasty." He was outraged.
He asked the police to come and examine his purchase. When they arrived they found the green leafy substance laid out on a paper on a table.
The complainant was correct. What he had purchased - thinking it was marijuana - failed to pass a field test. Officers confiscated it but believed it to be a kitchen spice instead of an intoxicating weed.
No arrest was made - either of the distributor or the complainant. The latter did not purchase an illegal drug . Besides, the local Chamber Of Commerce would probably have filed an amicus curiae (friend of the court) on behalf of the former - defending their right to conduct business on the streets of Pittsburgh.
Please. Please. If you know anybody in California who has any influence as to the many propositions that are part of their ballots - would you immediately encourage them to approve the one that advocates the decriminalization of the purchase and use of marijuana.
We absolutely need to stamp out this type of wrongdoing, now happening in Pittsburgh. You don't need a picket sign to protest. Anyone with a brain can see this is a clear case of Res Ipsa Loquitor ("the thing speaks for itself") Illegal drug dealers are unfairly taking advantage of the less educated among us.
There will always be good people. There will always be some who are not so good. There will always be some who are feeble minded. But, it just isn't fair when unknown parties are allowed to take advantage of a poor soul like this Uniontown lunkhead. What were they thinking? Have they no conscience?
The only answer is to legalize the purchase and distribution of pot so that, finally, we can control it- avoid a recurrence of this type of abuse - and who knows; maybe make a couple bucks in the process.
We must protect our citizens.
The lunkheads' mother supports my petition.
It's her legal right.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
More Thunkin
The wife of Supreme Court Judge Clarence Thomas has attempted to get Anita Hill to recant her testimony as to the accusations regarding her husband in his confirmation hearings.
We've heard nothing from Judge Thomas and assume he was unable to reach Judge Scalia.
We've heard nothing from Judge Thomas and assume he was unable to reach Judge Scalia.
ME & PA KETTLE
Are you old enough to remember Ma & Pa Kettle? Ma, as played by movie star Marjorie Main was the active, strict caretaker, leader parent of their large family. Pa - actor Percy Kilbride - was inclined toward more passive activities, including a little imbibing from time to time.
In one of their many movies, one of the kids asked Ma. "What's Pa doing over there in the rocking chair all day. "Ma replied, "PA's thunkin - that's what he does best. He's just thunkin."
I think I got a little "PA' in me. Been doing a lot of "thunkin" about the $75,000 (belated) NFL penalty fine on Pittsburgh Steeler James Harrison due to two rather bruising hits last Sunday.
I say "belated" as none of the officials on the field called a penalty on either play despite having been schooled many- many-many times as to what the NFL contends is a "violent hit, worthy of a penalty."
Hey, all NFL officials can't be ranked in the top 5th of their graduating class. But, let's be honest. There are few businesses without a little "duplicity" in what they claim to represent.
Please trust me. The NFL is a business. In fact it's a monopoly. It even has it's own TV network. The NFL is a huge beneficiary of just about everything that has to do with professional football .
That includes all the merchandising - which - would not exclude the video games with the gore and violence emphasis in hopes adults and kids alike will buy them. The NFL was also big enough to coerce the networks to continue to pay them should the owners force a 2011 lockout. Prior to last Sunday, the big news in the football media has been the lockout possibility.
Fortunately, this week that was not perceived as a priority for ESPN columnist Rick Reilly, who no doubt includes several NFL owners and Execs on his Christmas card list. Rick would seem to have made one helluva ambulance chaser had he not chose "journalism" as his life long pursuit.
Reilly's all upset about this "new" development in football brutality and would like to see Harrison either retire or be suspended. The guy is downright funny. I loved his columns on the back of S.I. before he left for greener pastures.
Reilly is also rumored to be the face you see when you look up the term "smarmy."
He is a man of many and varied opinions. Based on his article in NFL.com , Reilly is also omniscient. He is "aware of all things"and advises us that Harrison "purposely lowered his head" into two Brown's wide receivers. Rick neglected to explain that one of them ducked and the other was playing the quarterback position when Harrison hit him - legally - as the rules explain.
One assumes that limited column space precluded a more detailed explanation . It could also get in the way of accuracy - something else rumored to not always be a priority for journalists.
According to the sideboard accompanying his column, someone at ESPN was kind enough to advise us that Reilly has been voted Sportswriter of the Year 11 times - or about as many times as someone with the first name of Kim has been elected North Korea's President.
Reilly confesses that with all the brutal hits (captured on film - and shown - over - and over -and over on ESPN - and one presumes The NFL Network) - "it makes you wonder what kind of person you are for sitting there watching" ( I suspect during the rest of the season Rick "will risk one eye".)
If TRicks (whoops) Rick's ESPN.com column on violence gains the circulation for which both Rick & ESPN are praying, he will no doubt come out with another book. Might even be one on "modern day" football violence.
One assumes it will have neither Y.A. Tittles bloody Polo Grounds picture on the cover or that one of Bradshaw after the hit by Turkey Jones many, many years ago.
Space is a factor here. So let's wrap up my "thunking". Nothing has changed my opinion
regarding the brutality of this sport and what it has meant to the many NFL veterans who still cling to the hope that someday they may regain the ability to walk erect.
That is still my stance. Regardless of why the NFL is now motivated to do something about it and the uncomfortable thought it does move the ridiculous comments by the owners about falling on hard times to the back burner- it's a timely cause. It would not be kind of me to remind folks that the owners want to extend those brutal hits by adding two more games. So, I won't.
OK, my real beef is with the hypocrisy of both the league, it's owners, and ESPN management- all of whom owe their fortunes to this brutal and debilitating game, and continue to promote it with an emphasis on violence. ESPN & Hockey apparently got a divorce.
My advice - or pleading - is not to overlook any of the violent hits but, "for God's sake - get your own houses in order. Even some of your best players - both recently retired and active - appear to know more about physics and the complexities in the interaction of two forces - than do the best minds in the NFL office."
Finally, please note there has been no attempt to defend what appears to be a non-exclusive pattern of violence on the part of Harrison - whether he's one of my favorite Steelers or not.
I'd have much more to say, but like Pa - "I'm getting a little tired and need to get back to my thunkin."
At first glance you have to conclude
In one of their many movies, one of the kids asked Ma. "What's Pa doing over there in the rocking chair all day. "Ma replied, "PA's thunkin - that's what he does best. He's just thunkin."
I think I got a little "PA' in me. Been doing a lot of "thunkin" about the $75,000 (belated) NFL penalty fine on Pittsburgh Steeler James Harrison due to two rather bruising hits last Sunday.
I say "belated" as none of the officials on the field called a penalty on either play despite having been schooled many- many-many times as to what the NFL contends is a "violent hit, worthy of a penalty."
Hey, all NFL officials can't be ranked in the top 5th of their graduating class. But, let's be honest. There are few businesses without a little "duplicity" in what they claim to represent.
Please trust me. The NFL is a business. In fact it's a monopoly. It even has it's own TV network. The NFL is a huge beneficiary of just about everything that has to do with professional football .
That includes all the merchandising - which - would not exclude the video games with the gore and violence emphasis in hopes adults and kids alike will buy them. The NFL was also big enough to coerce the networks to continue to pay them should the owners force a 2011 lockout. Prior to last Sunday, the big news in the football media has been the lockout possibility.
Fortunately, this week that was not perceived as a priority for ESPN columnist Rick Reilly, who no doubt includes several NFL owners and Execs on his Christmas card list. Rick would seem to have made one helluva ambulance chaser had he not chose "journalism" as his life long pursuit.
Reilly's all upset about this "new" development in football brutality and would like to see Harrison either retire or be suspended. The guy is downright funny. I loved his columns on the back of S.I. before he left for greener pastures.
Reilly is also rumored to be the face you see when you look up the term "smarmy."
He is a man of many and varied opinions. Based on his article in NFL.com , Reilly is also omniscient. He is "aware of all things"and advises us that Harrison "purposely lowered his head" into two Brown's wide receivers. Rick neglected to explain that one of them ducked and the other was playing the quarterback position when Harrison hit him - legally - as the rules explain.
One assumes that limited column space precluded a more detailed explanation . It could also get in the way of accuracy - something else rumored to not always be a priority for journalists.
According to the sideboard accompanying his column, someone at ESPN was kind enough to advise us that Reilly has been voted Sportswriter of the Year 11 times - or about as many times as someone with the first name of Kim has been elected North Korea's President.
Reilly confesses that with all the brutal hits (captured on film - and shown - over - and over -and over on ESPN - and one presumes The NFL Network) - "it makes you wonder what kind of person you are for sitting there watching" ( I suspect during the rest of the season Rick "will risk one eye".)
If TRicks (whoops) Rick's ESPN.com column on violence gains the circulation for which both Rick & ESPN are praying, he will no doubt come out with another book. Might even be one on "modern day" football violence.
One assumes it will have neither Y.A. Tittles bloody Polo Grounds picture on the cover or that one of Bradshaw after the hit by Turkey Jones many, many years ago.
Space is a factor here. So let's wrap up my "thunking". Nothing has changed my opinion
regarding the brutality of this sport and what it has meant to the many NFL veterans who still cling to the hope that someday they may regain the ability to walk erect.
That is still my stance. Regardless of why the NFL is now motivated to do something about it and the uncomfortable thought it does move the ridiculous comments by the owners about falling on hard times to the back burner- it's a timely cause. It would not be kind of me to remind folks that the owners want to extend those brutal hits by adding two more games. So, I won't.
OK, my real beef is with the hypocrisy of both the league, it's owners, and ESPN management- all of whom owe their fortunes to this brutal and debilitating game, and continue to promote it with an emphasis on violence. ESPN & Hockey apparently got a divorce.
My advice - or pleading - is not to overlook any of the violent hits but, "for God's sake - get your own houses in order. Even some of your best players - both recently retired and active - appear to know more about physics and the complexities in the interaction of two forces - than do the best minds in the NFL office."
Finally, please note there has been no attempt to defend what appears to be a non-exclusive pattern of violence on the part of Harrison - whether he's one of my favorite Steelers or not.
I'd have much more to say, but like Pa - "I'm getting a little tired and need to get back to my thunkin."
At first glance you have to conclude
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
THE CHICKEN DANCE
As long as the media exists we will always have humor in our lives. One headline today mentioned how mature Kobe Bryant was in responding to an observation made by Michael Jordan as to Kobe's place in basketball history. It was entitled "Kobe takes high road on Jordan slight."
This is a little like reading the letters to the editor page in People magazine and observing one lass vigorously defending the maturity of Justin Bieber.
Jordan apparently had the audacity to suggest that Kobe was in the top 10 of guards in the history of the NBA. Kobe responded, "It's an accurate statement. - - - - - - I'm definitely one of the top thousand."
Sunday, it was Steeler QB Ben Rothlisberger who was being asked in a TV interview why Terry Bradshaw was so critical of him . Bradshaw had suggested in the past that the Steelers "should have dumped" Big Ben and the league should have suspended him for more than -not less than - 6 games, after his alleged conduct in Georgia.
Big Ben's response? "You know what? I'm not sure where all the strong words and stuff came from Terry. I've looked up to him from the day I got here. He's the greatest quarterback in Steelers history."
Looks like both Stern and Goodell are making progress with the verbal abuse issues of their players as well as their encouragment for them to display some maturity.
Of course, it is a bummer for the antagonistic media.
The media - like attorneys - have to find a way to make a buck. The latter group have made it a truism that "anybody can be sued at any time by anybody else". You see. You have your law degree, passed the bar on the 8th try, and are staring at beaucoup law school tuition bills. Trust me, you'll sue your own mother.
The media have their own financial problems. They find themselves in the unenviable position of fighting a rapidly expanding growth of competition. They're seeing seemingly half the country publishing their opinion on some topic or another.
It's Twitter, Facebook, You Tube, etc. I blame permissive parents. Even those nuts who are writing blogs think they know what they're talking about. (and they have lousy grammar too.)
So, the media has to try and make a big deal over anything. Anything that is that might sell a newspaper - get a new viewer to tune in to the 11 o'clock news - or cause anyone over 25 to now desperately want to know just who the hell Justin Bieber is.
I've touched on this before. But, when I was a kid it was "de riguer du jour" (fashionable - I'm behind in my French lessons and need to practice) for at least one kid to stand on the outside of a quickly formed circle and shout at those within the circle.
In the circle were two reluctant kids who he is egging on to fight each other after one made a tackle with a mite too much enthusiasm during a sandlot football game. The critic even had the audacity to call each of them "chicken". Boy, talk about "dissing" someone." But, we were of Junior High age and acted accordingly, usually ending up in a fight.
Now, the guy doing the encouraging was usually tremendously out of shape. In between taunts he was shovelling Jujubes in his mouth , had two boxes of crackerjack as a backup -and definitely had no interest in participating in a fight, even if it was one limited to hurling marshmallows around a campfire. But he would argue to the end that the green M&M's tasted much better than either the tan or the brown ones.
Today, he's probably the editor of a struggling newspaper encouraging a repetition of his successful childhood strategizing. Sadly, in many instances he could also be a member of Congress or the Pentagon trying to identify another country for us to invade - and who has no kids eligible to serve in the armed forces.
So, why do we continue to read and watch while these poor souls play with our heads?
Maybe it's because we're sitting on the couch with a huge stash of jujubes - a gallon of ice cream and can't talk ourself out of repeating those Junior High traditions.
We "dig" that Chicken Dance!
This is a little like reading the letters to the editor page in People magazine and observing one lass vigorously defending the maturity of Justin Bieber.
Jordan apparently had the audacity to suggest that Kobe was in the top 10 of guards in the history of the NBA. Kobe responded, "It's an accurate statement. - - - - - - I'm definitely one of the top thousand."
Sunday, it was Steeler QB Ben Rothlisberger who was being asked in a TV interview why Terry Bradshaw was so critical of him . Bradshaw had suggested in the past that the Steelers "should have dumped" Big Ben and the league should have suspended him for more than -not less than - 6 games, after his alleged conduct in Georgia.
Big Ben's response? "You know what? I'm not sure where all the strong words and stuff came from Terry. I've looked up to him from the day I got here. He's the greatest quarterback in Steelers history."
Looks like both Stern and Goodell are making progress with the verbal abuse issues of their players as well as their encouragment for them to display some maturity.
Of course, it is a bummer for the antagonistic media.
The media - like attorneys - have to find a way to make a buck. The latter group have made it a truism that "anybody can be sued at any time by anybody else". You see. You have your law degree, passed the bar on the 8th try, and are staring at beaucoup law school tuition bills. Trust me, you'll sue your own mother.
The media have their own financial problems. They find themselves in the unenviable position of fighting a rapidly expanding growth of competition. They're seeing seemingly half the country publishing their opinion on some topic or another.
It's Twitter, Facebook, You Tube, etc. I blame permissive parents. Even those nuts who are writing blogs think they know what they're talking about. (and they have lousy grammar too.)
So, the media has to try and make a big deal over anything. Anything that is that might sell a newspaper - get a new viewer to tune in to the 11 o'clock news - or cause anyone over 25 to now desperately want to know just who the hell Justin Bieber is.
I've touched on this before. But, when I was a kid it was "de riguer du jour" (fashionable - I'm behind in my French lessons and need to practice) for at least one kid to stand on the outside of a quickly formed circle and shout at those within the circle.
In the circle were two reluctant kids who he is egging on to fight each other after one made a tackle with a mite too much enthusiasm during a sandlot football game. The critic even had the audacity to call each of them "chicken". Boy, talk about "dissing" someone." But, we were of Junior High age and acted accordingly, usually ending up in a fight.
Now, the guy doing the encouraging was usually tremendously out of shape. In between taunts he was shovelling Jujubes in his mouth , had two boxes of crackerjack as a backup -and definitely had no interest in participating in a fight, even if it was one limited to hurling marshmallows around a campfire. But he would argue to the end that the green M&M's tasted much better than either the tan or the brown ones.
Today, he's probably the editor of a struggling newspaper encouraging a repetition of his successful childhood strategizing. Sadly, in many instances he could also be a member of Congress or the Pentagon trying to identify another country for us to invade - and who has no kids eligible to serve in the armed forces.
So, why do we continue to read and watch while these poor souls play with our heads?
Maybe it's because we're sitting on the couch with a huge stash of jujubes - a gallon of ice cream and can't talk ourself out of repeating those Junior High traditions.
We "dig" that Chicken Dance!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Credible Observations
I've been reading some interesting quotes recently while doing blog research.
Here's one inscribed on a candy dish I recently purchased:
"All my life I wanted to be somebody. Now I realize I should have been more specific."
(Jane Wagner)
A few gems from Fritz Perls: - some previously published here:
"Nobody can stand the truth if it is told to them. Truth can be tolerated only if you discover it yourself because then the pride of discovery makes the truth palatable."
"You cannot achieve happiness. Happiness happens and is a transitory stage. Imagine how happy I was when I got relief from bladder pressure. How long did that happiness last?"
"Our dependency makes slaves out of us, especially if this dependency is a dependency of our self-esteem. If you need encouragement, praise, pats on the back from everybody, then you make everybody your judge."
And the logical follow-up?
"I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations. And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I. And if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be helped."
Wish I had found them earlier.
Here's one inscribed on a candy dish I recently purchased:
"All my life I wanted to be somebody. Now I realize I should have been more specific."
(Jane Wagner)
A few gems from Fritz Perls: - some previously published here:
"Nobody can stand the truth if it is told to them. Truth can be tolerated only if you discover it yourself because then the pride of discovery makes the truth palatable."
"You cannot achieve happiness. Happiness happens and is a transitory stage. Imagine how happy I was when I got relief from bladder pressure. How long did that happiness last?"
"Our dependency makes slaves out of us, especially if this dependency is a dependency of our self-esteem. If you need encouragement, praise, pats on the back from everybody, then you make everybody your judge."
And the logical follow-up?
"I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations. And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I. And if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be helped."
Wish I had found them earlier.
BEDBUGS & BIRTHDAYS
BIRTHDAYS were a big deal in the Sullivan household as the three of us were growing up.("PEE birthday to you" chimed the revolving musical cakeplate when it was on it's last legs.)
Birthday meals were special. Mine was stuffed pork chops, mashed potatos, corn, and homemade butterscotch cake with mint green icing. It was fun to watch my younger siblings rushing to the bathroom.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't recall the parents ever rounding up our friends and us to head out to Chuck E Cheese. That's probably because old Chuckee hadn't celebrated his own birthday yet.
Well, I just celebrated one (quietly) and heard from a few family members. The kids are busy but still find time to drop me a line, make a call, or buy me a gift. Usually all three. I am grateful.
My wife Phyl & I normally find some way to honor each other's B-days, both of which fall in the same month - with different birth signs. We're no longer "late nighters" so going clubbing is definitely not an option.
This year Phyl went to NFL.com and ordered me a fantastic long sleeve (extra -extra - big) Steeler shirt with the new official color and design.
I love it. I carefully unwrapped it and hung it on my side of the closet in a place of honor - not far from my other Steeler clothing gifts courtesy of daughter Beth and son Bruce.
BEDBUGS . Today my BW came out front to my office to discuss bedbugs. She again related the story about new clothing that was imported from China and contained bedbugs.
Due to some good advice from friend Harry, I immediately went on line to "Snopes.com" to research this latest foreign threat to our liberties and health from the strange and mysterious East.
I learned a lot, including their opinion that the threat was real, but not necessarily a new and vicious plot by our neighbors from the Orient. Limited space here causes me to suggest you research the article yourself if this has piqued your interest. My Snopes E-mail is entitled: "Bedbugs Clothes Dryer Extermination."
It seems that there are as few points of agreement as to the cure for the bedbugs as there are about The Tea Party candidates. Snopes did note, however: "The U.S. is experiencing an explosion in it's bedbug population."
The one item in their review that caught my fancy had to do with putting new clothes in the dryer before hanging them in the closet. (Little late for that one, huh?).
However, Snopes writes "the warning about new clothing seems to be a bit over the top though; we've yet to happen upon credible reports of bedbugs being found in such garments."
"Yeah," I thought, " but what if you're wrong and I have to put my new glorious Steeler jersey in the dryer? The cause of my concern is that, to my wife's consternation, I will not allow any of my shirts in the dryer for more than 4 to 5 minutes tops when doing the laundry.
Now, of course, they are wet going in and my new "official" jersey would not be.
Snopes allows that "bedbugs will not survive a hot tumble in the appliance." I opted not to read anything into that. But, I did recall a weird friend who had on occasion placed his wife's prized cat in the dryer. ("Just the short spin cycle," he hastened to explain after the divorce.)
Assuming nobody has adopted bedbugs as pets (an assumption nowadays you really shouldn't make) I decided to read further to try and resolve my own problems.
Snopes says, "they (bedbugs) won't survive PROVIDED the temperature in (the dryer's interior) reaches (and then doesn't go below) 113 degree farenheit.
They also tell us, "There is some dispute about the minimum temperature required to eradicate bedbugs; we've also seen it credibly listed as 120 degrees."
Finally, Snopes adds that the drying cycle favored for succesful eradication varies from source to source. (most commonly cited is from 20 to 25 minutes but other estimates range from as little as 5 minutes to as much as 45 minutes.)
I happen to own a time piece with stop watch capability. My problem is trying to get those little critters to hold on to a thermometer as they're spinning around.
After reading the rough draft of this blog to my wife, the RN, she asked, "and where are their rectums, anyway?"
Go Steelers!
Birthday meals were special. Mine was stuffed pork chops, mashed potatos, corn, and homemade butterscotch cake with mint green icing. It was fun to watch my younger siblings rushing to the bathroom.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't recall the parents ever rounding up our friends and us to head out to Chuck E Cheese. That's probably because old Chuckee hadn't celebrated his own birthday yet.
Well, I just celebrated one (quietly) and heard from a few family members. The kids are busy but still find time to drop me a line, make a call, or buy me a gift. Usually all three. I am grateful.
My wife Phyl & I normally find some way to honor each other's B-days, both of which fall in the same month - with different birth signs. We're no longer "late nighters" so going clubbing is definitely not an option.
This year Phyl went to NFL.com and ordered me a fantastic long sleeve (extra -extra - big) Steeler shirt with the new official color and design.
I love it. I carefully unwrapped it and hung it on my side of the closet in a place of honor - not far from my other Steeler clothing gifts courtesy of daughter Beth and son Bruce.
BEDBUGS . Today my BW came out front to my office to discuss bedbugs. She again related the story about new clothing that was imported from China and contained bedbugs.
Due to some good advice from friend Harry, I immediately went on line to "Snopes.com" to research this latest foreign threat to our liberties and health from the strange and mysterious East.
I learned a lot, including their opinion that the threat was real, but not necessarily a new and vicious plot by our neighbors from the Orient. Limited space here causes me to suggest you research the article yourself if this has piqued your interest. My Snopes E-mail is entitled: "Bedbugs Clothes Dryer Extermination."
It seems that there are as few points of agreement as to the cure for the bedbugs as there are about The Tea Party candidates. Snopes did note, however: "The U.S. is experiencing an explosion in it's bedbug population."
The one item in their review that caught my fancy had to do with putting new clothes in the dryer before hanging them in the closet. (Little late for that one, huh?).
However, Snopes writes "the warning about new clothing seems to be a bit over the top though; we've yet to happen upon credible reports of bedbugs being found in such garments."
"Yeah," I thought, " but what if you're wrong and I have to put my new glorious Steeler jersey in the dryer? The cause of my concern is that, to my wife's consternation, I will not allow any of my shirts in the dryer for more than 4 to 5 minutes tops when doing the laundry.
Now, of course, they are wet going in and my new "official" jersey would not be.
Snopes allows that "bedbugs will not survive a hot tumble in the appliance." I opted not to read anything into that. But, I did recall a weird friend who had on occasion placed his wife's prized cat in the dryer. ("Just the short spin cycle," he hastened to explain after the divorce.)
Assuming nobody has adopted bedbugs as pets (an assumption nowadays you really shouldn't make) I decided to read further to try and resolve my own problems.
Snopes says, "they (bedbugs) won't survive PROVIDED the temperature in (the dryer's interior) reaches (and then doesn't go below) 113 degree farenheit.
They also tell us, "There is some dispute about the minimum temperature required to eradicate bedbugs; we've also seen it credibly listed as 120 degrees."
Finally, Snopes adds that the drying cycle favored for succesful eradication varies from source to source. (most commonly cited is from 20 to 25 minutes but other estimates range from as little as 5 minutes to as much as 45 minutes.)
I happen to own a time piece with stop watch capability. My problem is trying to get those little critters to hold on to a thermometer as they're spinning around.
After reading the rough draft of this blog to my wife, the RN, she asked, "and where are their rectums, anyway?"
Go Steelers!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
"MARTY THE METEOR"
It was in the early 70's . I was standing at the bar, foot resting on the rail, arguing with "Mumbles" McBride, the only other customer . The argument was over the names of the 1960 Pirates outfielders. Suddenly, mid-discussion , the body of the evasive bar owner Marty O'Toole came crashing through the ceiling.
We both instinctively reached to cover our drinks with the palm of our hands.
That was about as bad as we had ever seen Marty look; even those many times when we dragged his skinny ass up the hill in the winter to the ACC college parking lot following a Steeler's game at Three Rivers. It was also the first time Marty was at a loss for words.
Apparently Marty did not move to Vegas as most surmised. He would go there often . You might even say "in a drunken minute" - without baggage or warning.
He had been known to sneak out of his office in the back after polishing off a fifth or so of the good stuff, while awaiting the departure of a few remaining customers. When impatient he'd climb/fall into his car and slip out of the back lot. Occasionally, he'd think to call from the airport to get someone to lock up. Most times we reasoned it out on our own.
One of us would secure both doors, gather up the cash, fill out the deposit slips, and drop the bag in the overnight deposit on the way home. After a while, we determined within a few bucks how much cash the bar would need for change the next morning.
A few of us surmised he should have been home by now - after calling one of us to wire him cash. However, his unexpected appearance that night did not rule out the possibility to Mumbles and me that, with a display of incredible accuracy, he had jumped out of the plane on the return trip to Greater Pitt Airport.
Marty's bar - "The Joint" - was a popular port-of -call for guys on their way home who needed a stiff one between the trauma at work and the anticipated one at home; but often lingered. It was located in the eastern suburbs of Pittsburgh and was primarily a guys bar . This was as opposed to "The Plugged Nickel" out the road in Monroeville . "The Nickel" was a hideaway place where husbands went to meet other guys wives.
When Marty took off on a binge we all took turns running the bar while awaiting his return. It may have been the only time the customers got a good drink. Nobody ever tried to welch or complain about the substitute bartenders as long as we kept the place open, but, it had been five weeks now.
McBride looked at Marty - lying supine on the broken plaster -then at me - and proclaimed loudly: "Roman Mejias was never on that 1960 squad." He was wrong and I told him why as I removed Marty's right leg from the stool that separated Mumbles and me.
Marty proceeded to slide down the bar in silent acknowledgment of gravity's pull. I swear to this day I heard him say something before he hit the floor, and it wasn't, "I'll buy."
It's not that we were uncaring - just maybe a little drunk. OK, a lot drunk!
Other than dwelling on the 60 Pirates and criticizing Bradshaw, the blond bombshell and current quarterback ,we didn't have a lot of real important stuff to discuss back then. None of us knew enough about women to B.S. the rest of the guys.
Bradshaw was an easy target, particularly when he tried to throw across his body aiming for Lynn Swann in the end zone and was enjoined by a stadium full of people all yelling: "No! Terry - No-o-o-o!"
Occasionally a conversation would shift from sports to discussing the night that "Ike", the retired army colonel took a handful of us to the mens room with him. The object was to win his bet that he had "a third testicle". He did and it cost me twenty bucks - a lot of money back then.
Finally, "Fingers' Finnegan, a local cop came in for a boilermaker before or during his shift. He immediately noticed Marty's torso splayed out behind his favorite stool
Officer Finnegan had been known to employ the five finger discount with recovered valuables before being booted off the robbery squad and assigned to driving a squad car at night so as to protect Danny Donuts from enemies both foreign and domestic.
After Fingers called it in we had one less O'Toole in about 45 minutes. The investigating detectives took one look at Mumbles and me and wisely decided to defer questioning.
"Jiggs", the "bartender du jour" was nowhere to be seen when the cops arrived ; for reasons we discovered later.
Most of the customers had nicknames. Mine was "Crater Face" (or CF) due to an overzealous battle with acne in my youth.
"Jiggs" had been working the bar that night.. His claim to fame was he was the only non-white who came in there. We drafted him the first week Marty disappeared. He was an affable sort - grew up in the Hill District - moved to Lincoln Place in an attempt to become off-white - and probably wasn't overwhelmed by the sight of a dead body.
When Marty made his sudden appearance Jiggs cursed under his breath not only because Marty owed him money he knew he'd never collect. Marty had made one helluva mess of Jiggs' carefully arranged beef jerky display, taking the open container of pickled eggs with it when it flew across the back bar.
Mumbles and me sauntered out the rear door locking and shutting it behind us. Someone would have to come in and sweep up in the morning. It probably wouldn't be one of us.
More about "Marty The Meteor" later.
We both instinctively reached to cover our drinks with the palm of our hands.
That was about as bad as we had ever seen Marty look; even those many times when we dragged his skinny ass up the hill in the winter to the ACC college parking lot following a Steeler's game at Three Rivers. It was also the first time Marty was at a loss for words.
Apparently Marty did not move to Vegas as most surmised. He would go there often . You might even say "in a drunken minute" - without baggage or warning.
He had been known to sneak out of his office in the back after polishing off a fifth or so of the good stuff, while awaiting the departure of a few remaining customers. When impatient he'd climb/fall into his car and slip out of the back lot. Occasionally, he'd think to call from the airport to get someone to lock up. Most times we reasoned it out on our own.
One of us would secure both doors, gather up the cash, fill out the deposit slips, and drop the bag in the overnight deposit on the way home. After a while, we determined within a few bucks how much cash the bar would need for change the next morning.
A few of us surmised he should have been home by now - after calling one of us to wire him cash. However, his unexpected appearance that night did not rule out the possibility to Mumbles and me that, with a display of incredible accuracy, he had jumped out of the plane on the return trip to Greater Pitt Airport.
Marty's bar - "The Joint" - was a popular port-of -call for guys on their way home who needed a stiff one between the trauma at work and the anticipated one at home; but often lingered. It was located in the eastern suburbs of Pittsburgh and was primarily a guys bar . This was as opposed to "The Plugged Nickel" out the road in Monroeville . "The Nickel" was a hideaway place where husbands went to meet other guys wives.
When Marty took off on a binge we all took turns running the bar while awaiting his return. It may have been the only time the customers got a good drink. Nobody ever tried to welch or complain about the substitute bartenders as long as we kept the place open, but, it had been five weeks now.
McBride looked at Marty - lying supine on the broken plaster -then at me - and proclaimed loudly: "Roman Mejias was never on that 1960 squad." He was wrong and I told him why as I removed Marty's right leg from the stool that separated Mumbles and me.
Marty proceeded to slide down the bar in silent acknowledgment of gravity's pull. I swear to this day I heard him say something before he hit the floor, and it wasn't, "I'll buy."
It's not that we were uncaring - just maybe a little drunk. OK, a lot drunk!
Other than dwelling on the 60 Pirates and criticizing Bradshaw, the blond bombshell and current quarterback ,we didn't have a lot of real important stuff to discuss back then. None of us knew enough about women to B.S. the rest of the guys.
Bradshaw was an easy target, particularly when he tried to throw across his body aiming for Lynn Swann in the end zone and was enjoined by a stadium full of people all yelling: "No! Terry - No-o-o-o!"
Occasionally a conversation would shift from sports to discussing the night that "Ike", the retired army colonel took a handful of us to the mens room with him. The object was to win his bet that he had "a third testicle". He did and it cost me twenty bucks - a lot of money back then.
Finally, "Fingers' Finnegan, a local cop came in for a boilermaker before or during his shift. He immediately noticed Marty's torso splayed out behind his favorite stool
Officer Finnegan had been known to employ the five finger discount with recovered valuables before being booted off the robbery squad and assigned to driving a squad car at night so as to protect Danny Donuts from enemies both foreign and domestic.
After Fingers called it in we had one less O'Toole in about 45 minutes. The investigating detectives took one look at Mumbles and me and wisely decided to defer questioning.
"Jiggs", the "bartender du jour" was nowhere to be seen when the cops arrived ; for reasons we discovered later.
Most of the customers had nicknames. Mine was "Crater Face" (or CF) due to an overzealous battle with acne in my youth.
"Jiggs" had been working the bar that night.. His claim to fame was he was the only non-white who came in there. We drafted him the first week Marty disappeared. He was an affable sort - grew up in the Hill District - moved to Lincoln Place in an attempt to become off-white - and probably wasn't overwhelmed by the sight of a dead body.
When Marty made his sudden appearance Jiggs cursed under his breath not only because Marty owed him money he knew he'd never collect. Marty had made one helluva mess of Jiggs' carefully arranged beef jerky display, taking the open container of pickled eggs with it when it flew across the back bar.
Mumbles and me sauntered out the rear door locking and shutting it behind us. Someone would have to come in and sweep up in the morning. It probably wouldn't be one of us.
More about "Marty The Meteor" later.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Coaching
Quite often you hear people say, "Coaches/managers get too much credit when the team wins and too much blame when their team loses."
While their job security is a little more iffy, than say - weather prognosticators - how to measure a manager or coach's success overall is difficult to define. Should a manager of the Pirates be measured by the same stick as whomever happens to be coaching the Yankees?
To be honest, I'm not sure which one of the two I'd rather be. If you lose (not 300 games in 3 years, mind you) with what is obviously not a good team, should you be fired? If you lose with the Yankee's talent (and overlook the teams injuries) are you a GM, within normal intelligence range, if you fire the guy?
Is there more longevity in being a coach in an NFL division that has lousy teams versus one who is coaching a team in a really strong division?
The Pirates got a manager from the Dodgers who spent a lot of time in the media's doghouse, was fired, and then went on to a fair amount of success with another team.
What makes a great coach/manager? The GM and/or the owner? The players? A little compassion from the media? The fans? The team's record? The number of times he, as the baseball manager, gets thrown out of a game each season? The ERA of his pitchers? The QB rating of his star?
Tough to tell. All could be factors? Or, none. If you were the Steelers head coach chances are you had a pretty long leash. You could have ended up coaching for Al Davis.
Traditionally, we base a coache/manager's success on the number of games their team wins. But, if it's a double-A team you've managed your team to the championship and been awarded Manager of the year, who knows?
Just thinking. What if Paterno does retire - maybe even before win # 400 - and the team gets a new guy who leads them through three straight losing season? Was Paterno a bad coach in 2010 having lost several great players to the NFL and even more to the injury list? Anybody remember his record in the years after the Penn State exec's wanted to fire him?
What if the Pirates hire that "fire and guts" type manager the media and the fan seems to be demanding and he falls on his face - losing 106 games? Was he a bad manager?
Again, this blogger asks? What is it that made the great coaches/managers great - let alone successful?
The answer is - "we don't know." Should they all be cut from the Phil Jackson mold? Vince Lombardi style ? Connie Mack longevity? Casey Stengel flexibility?
Is there any fan reading this blog who cannot recall Stengel asking of his new team, The New York Mets, "Does anybody here know how to play this game?"
And is there anybody who remembers Warren Spahn's comment about Stengel?:"I'm probably the only guy who worked for Stengel before and after he was a genius."
Simply put, it's extremely stupid to continue to try to make an absolutely objective argument about a coach when almost all of the criteria is subjective.
Still, we fans - and many in the media - are sure we know. Why the fans? Generally because we're stupid. Why the media? Because they have to come up with a broadcast, a column, a blog, etc on a regular basis and their livelihood is based upon the amount of controversy they can engender in their role as self-appointed soothsayer.
Due to my own screwed-up way of looking at things, I lean toward the psychological motivation techniques employed by several successful coaches.
Give me a Jackson, Lombardi, Leyland, Wooden, Madden or Fritz Perls.
Don't remember Perl's technique? Picture a DI on Parris Island.
As Pennsylvania sports coaches/managers continue to wind their way down their strange career path, it will be interesting to see who deserved to be fired, who didn't - and perhaps discovering why it didn't make a heckuva lot of difference to the teams success or failure.
I prefer to equate successful coaching with a concept know as "Mastery". It may be best illustrated with a quote from "William James: "Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."
One of Mastery's strongest examples is Gestalt Psychiatrist Fritz Perls who said: " I am not in this world to live up to other people's expectations, nor do I feel the world must live up to mine."
Now, that's a guy I might have hired to coach or manage my team.
While their job security is a little more iffy, than say - weather prognosticators - how to measure a manager or coach's success overall is difficult to define. Should a manager of the Pirates be measured by the same stick as whomever happens to be coaching the Yankees?
To be honest, I'm not sure which one of the two I'd rather be. If you lose (not 300 games in 3 years, mind you) with what is obviously not a good team, should you be fired? If you lose with the Yankee's talent (and overlook the teams injuries) are you a GM, within normal intelligence range, if you fire the guy?
Is there more longevity in being a coach in an NFL division that has lousy teams versus one who is coaching a team in a really strong division?
The Pirates got a manager from the Dodgers who spent a lot of time in the media's doghouse, was fired, and then went on to a fair amount of success with another team.
What makes a great coach/manager? The GM and/or the owner? The players? A little compassion from the media? The fans? The team's record? The number of times he, as the baseball manager, gets thrown out of a game each season? The ERA of his pitchers? The QB rating of his star?
Tough to tell. All could be factors? Or, none. If you were the Steelers head coach chances are you had a pretty long leash. You could have ended up coaching for Al Davis.
Traditionally, we base a coache/manager's success on the number of games their team wins. But, if it's a double-A team you've managed your team to the championship and been awarded Manager of the year, who knows?
Just thinking. What if Paterno does retire - maybe even before win # 400 - and the team gets a new guy who leads them through three straight losing season? Was Paterno a bad coach in 2010 having lost several great players to the NFL and even more to the injury list? Anybody remember his record in the years after the Penn State exec's wanted to fire him?
What if the Pirates hire that "fire and guts" type manager the media and the fan seems to be demanding and he falls on his face - losing 106 games? Was he a bad manager?
Again, this blogger asks? What is it that made the great coaches/managers great - let alone successful?
The answer is - "we don't know." Should they all be cut from the Phil Jackson mold? Vince Lombardi style ? Connie Mack longevity? Casey Stengel flexibility?
Is there any fan reading this blog who cannot recall Stengel asking of his new team, The New York Mets, "Does anybody here know how to play this game?"
And is there anybody who remembers Warren Spahn's comment about Stengel?:"I'm probably the only guy who worked for Stengel before and after he was a genius."
Simply put, it's extremely stupid to continue to try to make an absolutely objective argument about a coach when almost all of the criteria is subjective.
Still, we fans - and many in the media - are sure we know. Why the fans? Generally because we're stupid. Why the media? Because they have to come up with a broadcast, a column, a blog, etc on a regular basis and their livelihood is based upon the amount of controversy they can engender in their role as self-appointed soothsayer.
Due to my own screwed-up way of looking at things, I lean toward the psychological motivation techniques employed by several successful coaches.
Give me a Jackson, Lombardi, Leyland, Wooden, Madden or Fritz Perls.
Don't remember Perl's technique? Picture a DI on Parris Island.
As Pennsylvania sports coaches/managers continue to wind their way down their strange career path, it will be interesting to see who deserved to be fired, who didn't - and perhaps discovering why it didn't make a heckuva lot of difference to the teams success or failure.
I prefer to equate successful coaching with a concept know as "Mastery". It may be best illustrated with a quote from "William James: "Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."
One of Mastery's strongest examples is Gestalt Psychiatrist Fritz Perls who said: " I am not in this world to live up to other people's expectations, nor do I feel the world must live up to mine."
Now, that's a guy I might have hired to coach or manage my team.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Sportin Stuff
As a kid, I was riding in the car with my Dad one Sunday. We had just left the dealership where he was their Johnny Inkslinger. Dad was probably working on either the 2nd or 3rd set of books he kept for the owners. I was drinking free ice cold bottled Coke and polishing off my homework.
Somewhere up toward the end of Lynn Avenue in Turtle Creek, Dad pointed to our left and said, " that's one of the biggest 'sportin houses' in the county." I looked in vain for a plate glass window and a display case filled with trophies or sporting equipment.
I wasn't always the sharpest knife in the drawer back then. Not sure I got a whole lot brighter as I aged.
Thus, what I truly know about sports in general could probably be placed in one of my grandma's thimbles.
Fortunately, my lack of knowledge in regard to a particular subject has never been an obstacle to my discussing it - often. Some might even go so far to suggest, "he does not have an unspoken word in his head."
We have a grandson, Troy, named after another famous Troy. On Friday, our Troy was operated on for football injuries he sustained. They included a bilateral tear to his miniscus and other serious damages.
No, he's not the starting quarterback. He's just an all round great kid who loves the sport and has inherited some of his parents athletic talent. His injuries occurred during a scrimmage .The powers that be sort of "poo-pooed" his complaints.. They allowed him to continue to play. Things got worse days later and he finally received an MRI that revealed the seriousness of his injuries.
He had the operations early Friday and was sent home later that same evening. They call it a drive-thru. I favor the term "drive - by." The bloody tube was removed early Saturday morning at a local Sports facility - "not a sportin house."
It has been both fascinating and gratifying to hear all the publicity regarding the NFL's drive to reduce the number of concussions and other serious injuries these oversized players are receiving.
There have been rules changes - equipment modifications - and numerous rebuttals issued to the non-quarterback players who, like Baltimore's Ray Lewis, insist the latter group should be wearing a dress - or at least a classy looking tutu.
Football is a rough game. One need look no further than the injury list for Joe Paterno's Penn State roster for confirmation. Yet, college players are warned, "If you think college ball was rough you won't believe Pro ball."
The NFL likes to introduce "yesterday's heros" before their NFL's home team's game. It's usually in conjunction with a particular team anniversary that some publicity flak came up with to sell more pierogies.
These former players no longer run out of the tunnel. Many saunter, but, a growing number rely on the assistance of another retiree who probably got out of the game early.
If things continue, more and more of them won't leave that tunnel without assistance.
One wonders if - down the road - most of these guys likely will drive their own "Hover-Round's" onto the field, This is a three to four wheeled popular free wheeling conveyance for handicapped folks residing in assisted living homes, or houses with wide doorways.
The last group of those former jocks coming onto the field will probably be the ones with multiple concussions. It won't matter much how they arrive at the 50 yard line. Sad to say but, they probably won't know where they are anyway.
Injuries are a serious problem - no doubt. But, the NFL owners - in their infinite wisdom - and with their commish leading the parade - have alledgedly already approved a change to a 18 game schedule next year - up from their present 16. So, the logic is to spread the injuries over a longer number of weeks?
As reported here earlier. The owners claim to be losing money "big time". Unfortunately they made those claims just before studies were released that showed a dramatic increase in the number of NFL tickets sold in 2010 versus 2009.
Timing is everything. The union is decertifying. Expect a lockout.
One positive. A lockout should cut down on the injury statistics.
The owners have a "sportin house" all their own - unfortunately - and with the same result as the one Dad was attempting to point out.
Somewhere up toward the end of Lynn Avenue in Turtle Creek, Dad pointed to our left and said, " that's one of the biggest 'sportin houses' in the county." I looked in vain for a plate glass window and a display case filled with trophies or sporting equipment.
I wasn't always the sharpest knife in the drawer back then. Not sure I got a whole lot brighter as I aged.
Thus, what I truly know about sports in general could probably be placed in one of my grandma's thimbles.
Fortunately, my lack of knowledge in regard to a particular subject has never been an obstacle to my discussing it - often. Some might even go so far to suggest, "he does not have an unspoken word in his head."
We have a grandson, Troy, named after another famous Troy. On Friday, our Troy was operated on for football injuries he sustained. They included a bilateral tear to his miniscus and other serious damages.
No, he's not the starting quarterback. He's just an all round great kid who loves the sport and has inherited some of his parents athletic talent. His injuries occurred during a scrimmage .The powers that be sort of "poo-pooed" his complaints.. They allowed him to continue to play. Things got worse days later and he finally received an MRI that revealed the seriousness of his injuries.
He had the operations early Friday and was sent home later that same evening. They call it a drive-thru. I favor the term "drive - by." The bloody tube was removed early Saturday morning at a local Sports facility - "not a sportin house."
It has been both fascinating and gratifying to hear all the publicity regarding the NFL's drive to reduce the number of concussions and other serious injuries these oversized players are receiving.
There have been rules changes - equipment modifications - and numerous rebuttals issued to the non-quarterback players who, like Baltimore's Ray Lewis, insist the latter group should be wearing a dress - or at least a classy looking tutu.
Football is a rough game. One need look no further than the injury list for Joe Paterno's Penn State roster for confirmation. Yet, college players are warned, "If you think college ball was rough you won't believe Pro ball."
The NFL likes to introduce "yesterday's heros" before their NFL's home team's game. It's usually in conjunction with a particular team anniversary that some publicity flak came up with to sell more pierogies.
These former players no longer run out of the tunnel. Many saunter, but, a growing number rely on the assistance of another retiree who probably got out of the game early.
If things continue, more and more of them won't leave that tunnel without assistance.
One wonders if - down the road - most of these guys likely will drive their own "Hover-Round's" onto the field, This is a three to four wheeled popular free wheeling conveyance for handicapped folks residing in assisted living homes, or houses with wide doorways.
The last group of those former jocks coming onto the field will probably be the ones with multiple concussions. It won't matter much how they arrive at the 50 yard line. Sad to say but, they probably won't know where they are anyway.
Injuries are a serious problem - no doubt. But, the NFL owners - in their infinite wisdom - and with their commish leading the parade - have alledgedly already approved a change to a 18 game schedule next year - up from their present 16. So, the logic is to spread the injuries over a longer number of weeks?
As reported here earlier. The owners claim to be losing money "big time". Unfortunately they made those claims just before studies were released that showed a dramatic increase in the number of NFL tickets sold in 2010 versus 2009.
Timing is everything. The union is decertifying. Expect a lockout.
One positive. A lockout should cut down on the injury statistics.
The owners have a "sportin house" all their own - unfortunately - and with the same result as the one Dad was attempting to point out.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
FIRING & HIRING (revised)
I've been hired. I've been fired. Along the way I learned how to manage people.
About 25 years ago I was promoted to take over an insurance claims office in rural Central Pennsylvania,. My predecessor was an experienced insurance superintendent who was highly respected for his technical knowedge. He had supervised the same employees for several years.
His critics felt he had dragged his feet in not attempting to bring the office and it's 14 office staff members into the "20th" century, allowed the claims/agency relationship to dwindle, failed to delegate as much as was desired.
Most of the people from my predecessors office had kind words for him as they attempted to discern my relationship with the man. He had his share of dissenters like all management people.
Now, it was my job to make the necessary changes assigned to me. My forte was said to be my ability to improve customer service.
Not long after arriving, I reviewed vacation schedules and discovered the ex-boss had authorized vacation time for all of the male employees during Pennsylvania's two week doe hunting season.
I was livid and quickly summoned the entire staff to meet me outside of my office. I related what I had discovered and stated simply, "This is not going to happen."
I recognized from their instant reaction that they disagreed. The good employees exchanged glances with the usual dissenters and I could see the beginning of a coalition that would't bode well for any of us. My first crisis.
I was taken back."They loved me in Western Pennsylvania", I thought to myself , conveniently erasing the defined line between fact and fiction.
With mixed feelings of wonderment and fear, I initiated my Sergeant Schultz (serial #23781) retreat, clicked my heels, did an abrupt about face and headed into my more secure office.
After closing the door, leaving the office folks to strategize, I sat down facing the tacky knotty pine panelling. I began to recreate in my mind Gretta Garbo's performance of the death scene from Camille.
Someone had the audacity to interrupt my revival efforts by foolishly knocking on my door. A combination claim rep./estimator entered my office before my angry response had time to reach him.
Did he not know he had interrupted my decision making here on my personal Isle of Elba?
"What do you want?
He calmly took a chair without replying. After a long pause, he asked, "Why are you so upset?"
"Upset? Upset? I countered. (I was always the master of small repartee) "Without estimators to look at the damaged cars and trucks and claim rep's to write claim drafts to pay the claims, how the Hell do you think we can claim to be providing service to our customers?"
He smiled and tilted his head before responding, "Barry, I gather you're not a hunter". In exasperation, I shouted, "That has nothing to do with it. They didn't send me up here to hunt."
He smiled again at his new and clearly exasperated boss, admittedly more of a city mouse than a country one, and then responded, "Maybe"
I immediately thought of the touching scene between Dorothy & Toto upon arriving in Oz and realizing they were no longer safe in Kansas. The reality was starting to settle in.
He continued: "Deer season in north central Pennsylvania is a sanctioned holiday for almost all the men and more than a few women who live and work there.
Banks reduce their hours, shine the brass, and dust the money. Auto damage repair shops close. Drug stores turn out the lights and provide emergency numbers for prescriptions . Bars shutter to take inventory, wash the floor for the first time since last deer season and clean the taps.
Most folks here - including vehicle owners, laborers, management, insureds, judges, teachers, lawyers, pharmacists, and claimants head off to secluded hunting camps in beer laden pickups to search for Bambi.
The last thing on their mind is whether or not we're being Good Neighbors. Given this information, how in the name of God do you think we're going to be able to find anybody to talk to - let alone service their claim?"
Before I could reply he smiled that crooked smile again, shook his head and wiped back the few remaining wisps of hair on his forehead. Then he closed the door to little Elba, leaving the silence behind him.
As The Music Man's Robert Preston, portraying "Professor "Harold Hill, once proclaimed: "You have to know the territory."
I'm not sure that this is something the current Pittsburgh Pirates management and owner have learned yet. Hopefully, the new manager they hire will have that requisite savvy - and most importantly - be allowed to utilize it.
I discovered that "Firing" is not an easy process for either participant. "Hiring" the right replacement can also be pretty difficult, if "they don't know the territory". The last Pirate manager obviously did not.
Sitting in the dugout while your players are out on the field arguing a call with the umpire is never going to go over well in this great town founded on hard negotiations and a fighting spirit.
About 25 years ago I was promoted to take over an insurance claims office in rural Central Pennsylvania,. My predecessor was an experienced insurance superintendent who was highly respected for his technical knowedge. He had supervised the same employees for several years.
His critics felt he had dragged his feet in not attempting to bring the office and it's 14 office staff members into the "20th" century, allowed the claims/agency relationship to dwindle, failed to delegate as much as was desired.
Most of the people from my predecessors office had kind words for him as they attempted to discern my relationship with the man. He had his share of dissenters like all management people.
Now, it was my job to make the necessary changes assigned to me. My forte was said to be my ability to improve customer service.
Not long after arriving, I reviewed vacation schedules and discovered the ex-boss had authorized vacation time for all of the male employees during Pennsylvania's two week doe hunting season.
I was livid and quickly summoned the entire staff to meet me outside of my office. I related what I had discovered and stated simply, "This is not going to happen."
I recognized from their instant reaction that they disagreed. The good employees exchanged glances with the usual dissenters and I could see the beginning of a coalition that would't bode well for any of us. My first crisis.
I was taken back."They loved me in Western Pennsylvania", I thought to myself , conveniently erasing the defined line between fact and fiction.
With mixed feelings of wonderment and fear, I initiated my Sergeant Schultz (serial #23781) retreat, clicked my heels, did an abrupt about face and headed into my more secure office.
After closing the door, leaving the office folks to strategize, I sat down facing the tacky knotty pine panelling. I began to recreate in my mind Gretta Garbo's performance of the death scene from Camille.
Someone had the audacity to interrupt my revival efforts by foolishly knocking on my door. A combination claim rep./estimator entered my office before my angry response had time to reach him.
Did he not know he had interrupted my decision making here on my personal Isle of Elba?
"What do you want?
He calmly took a chair without replying. After a long pause, he asked, "Why are you so upset?"
"Upset? Upset? I countered. (I was always the master of small repartee) "Without estimators to look at the damaged cars and trucks and claim rep's to write claim drafts to pay the claims, how the Hell do you think we can claim to be providing service to our customers?"
He smiled and tilted his head before responding, "Barry, I gather you're not a hunter". In exasperation, I shouted, "That has nothing to do with it. They didn't send me up here to hunt."
He smiled again at his new and clearly exasperated boss, admittedly more of a city mouse than a country one, and then responded, "Maybe"
I immediately thought of the touching scene between Dorothy & Toto upon arriving in Oz and realizing they were no longer safe in Kansas. The reality was starting to settle in.
He continued: "Deer season in north central Pennsylvania is a sanctioned holiday for almost all the men and more than a few women who live and work there.
Banks reduce their hours, shine the brass, and dust the money. Auto damage repair shops close. Drug stores turn out the lights and provide emergency numbers for prescriptions . Bars shutter to take inventory, wash the floor for the first time since last deer season and clean the taps.
Most folks here - including vehicle owners, laborers, management, insureds, judges, teachers, lawyers, pharmacists, and claimants head off to secluded hunting camps in beer laden pickups to search for Bambi.
The last thing on their mind is whether or not we're being Good Neighbors. Given this information, how in the name of God do you think we're going to be able to find anybody to talk to - let alone service their claim?"
Before I could reply he smiled that crooked smile again, shook his head and wiped back the few remaining wisps of hair on his forehead. Then he closed the door to little Elba, leaving the silence behind him.
As The Music Man's Robert Preston, portraying "Professor "Harold Hill, once proclaimed: "You have to know the territory."
I'm not sure that this is something the current Pittsburgh Pirates management and owner have learned yet. Hopefully, the new manager they hire will have that requisite savvy - and most importantly - be allowed to utilize it.
I discovered that "Firing" is not an easy process for either participant. "Hiring" the right replacement can also be pretty difficult, if "they don't know the territory". The last Pirate manager obviously did not.
Sitting in the dugout while your players are out on the field arguing a call with the umpire is never going to go over well in this great town founded on hard negotiations and a fighting spirit.
Monday, October 4, 2010
SHAKESFUNK
I. LOVE'S LABOUR'S LOST:
Britain's Robert Edwards won the 2010 Nobel Prize in medicine for developing in-vitro fertilization.
"Edwards, an 85-year-old professor emeritus - - -developed this technique - in which egg cells are removed from a woman, fertilized outside her body and then implanted into the womb - together with British gynecologist surgeon Patrick Steptoe."
One assumes inserting the fertilized egg cells was a piece of cake. Inserting Steptoe, maybe less so.
-------------------------
II. COMEDY OF ERRORS:
Pittsburgh Pirates ended their 2010 season with a record 18th consecutive season of losing.
---------------------------------------
III: KING JOHN
Pirate Manager John Russell - who has lost 299 games in a three year tour as Manager is rumored to be fired today.
-------------------------
IV MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING:
(Please see II & III above)
------------------------
IV: MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM:
Pirates owner Bob Nutting, when interviewed about the Pirates leadership in early 2010, claimed it to be: 'the best in all of baseball - maybe the best in all of sports."
----------------------------------
V: ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL:
Nutting, during an early 2010 interview response when asked about 2009's record: "we're not going to accept an inferior performance' (and he pledged accountability).
In 2010 Pirates lost 100 games or more for the first time since 2001 - 6 more than 2009 - 10
more than 2008.
----------------
VI: AS YOU LIKE IT:
Pirates won/loss record last three years and resulting draft order.
2008 - 67-95
2009 - 63-99
2010 - 57-105
Pirates (won) 2nd overall draft choice in 2008 & 2009 and 1st in 2010.
------------------------------------
VII: MEASURE FOR MEASURE
Question for you math geeks: using the past three years for trending, how long will it take the Pirates to lose all 162 games?
-------------------------
VII: KING LEAR:
(Dear readers - please insert your own choice.)
------------------------
VIII: WINTERS TALE:
Pirate pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training in February, 2011
HAVE A GREAT DAY
Britain's Robert Edwards won the 2010 Nobel Prize in medicine for developing in-vitro fertilization.
"Edwards, an 85-year-old professor emeritus - - -developed this technique - in which egg cells are removed from a woman, fertilized outside her body and then implanted into the womb - together with British gynecologist surgeon Patrick Steptoe."
One assumes inserting the fertilized egg cells was a piece of cake. Inserting Steptoe, maybe less so.
-------------------------
II. COMEDY OF ERRORS:
Pittsburgh Pirates ended their 2010 season with a record 18th consecutive season of losing.
---------------------------------------
III: KING JOHN
Pirate Manager John Russell - who has lost 299 games in a three year tour as Manager is rumored to be fired today.
-------------------------
IV MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING:
(Please see II & III above)
------------------------
IV: MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM:
Pirates owner Bob Nutting, when interviewed about the Pirates leadership in early 2010, claimed it to be: 'the best in all of baseball - maybe the best in all of sports."
----------------------------------
V: ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL:
Nutting, during an early 2010 interview response when asked about 2009's record: "we're not going to accept an inferior performance' (and he pledged accountability).
In 2010 Pirates lost 100 games or more for the first time since 2001 - 6 more than 2009 - 10
more than 2008.
----------------
VI: AS YOU LIKE IT:
Pirates won/loss record last three years and resulting draft order.
2008 - 67-95
2009 - 63-99
2010 - 57-105
Pirates (won) 2nd overall draft choice in 2008 & 2009 and 1st in 2010.
------------------------------------
VII: MEASURE FOR MEASURE
Question for you math geeks: using the past three years for trending, how long will it take the Pirates to lose all 162 games?
-------------------------
VII: KING LEAR:
(Dear readers - please insert your own choice.)
------------------------
VIII: WINTERS TALE:
Pirate pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training in February, 2011
HAVE A GREAT DAY
Saturday, October 2, 2010
BIBLICALLY SPEAKING?
I was once a member of a small group that was trying to start a church. We had left an established church and possibly thought we could do it better. We were wrong.
Four of us split the responsibility of delivering the Sunday morning message. The first one I presented was entitled, "Does God Have A Sense Of Humor?" I used a Platypus picture to support my opinion.
The Bible is the security of many practicing Christians. It is so admired that the use of the term "the Bible of this or that" is intended to promote a feeling of authenticity as to whatever subject is being discussed.
Not all folks agree the Bible is God's Word, and thus indisputable; a premise which shall not be debated here. However, I will admit an affinity for New Testament churches
An E-mail, which appears to be an adaptation of another I have seen, was received from Benn & Doris Issacson, good people and the Jewish branch of our conjoined family.
It points out the hazards of taking a Chinese Menu approach to the Bible, ie, "2 from column A and 3 from column B", in order to support a strict interpretation. The E-mail sources used are the second and third chapters of The Old Testment.
The impetus for the E-mail was one of the radio shows of Dr. Laura Schlessinger, who appears to be having the same kind of public relations year as Lindsay Lohan.
Dr. Laura allegedly contended that as an Orthodox Jew, "homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance."
Here, with only slight editing, is the E-mail:
"Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. . . . I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can . When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them (of) Leviticus 18:22. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35.2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abdomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there degrees of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading classes. Does my vision have to be 20-20? Is there any wiggle room here?
8.. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though that is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19-27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11. 6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? (Probably pre-Wilson Sporting Goods. ed.)
10. My Uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19-19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.
Is it really necessary we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24: 10-16? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20.14)
I know you hve studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's Word is eternal and unchanging."
(signed- "Your adoring fan" - name withheld)
Blasphemy? You decide. Living in a community mostly comprised of snowbirds, it would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian.
Four of us split the responsibility of delivering the Sunday morning message. The first one I presented was entitled, "Does God Have A Sense Of Humor?" I used a Platypus picture to support my opinion.
The Bible is the security of many practicing Christians. It is so admired that the use of the term "the Bible of this or that" is intended to promote a feeling of authenticity as to whatever subject is being discussed.
Not all folks agree the Bible is God's Word, and thus indisputable; a premise which shall not be debated here. However, I will admit an affinity for New Testament churches
An E-mail, which appears to be an adaptation of another I have seen, was received from Benn & Doris Issacson, good people and the Jewish branch of our conjoined family.
It points out the hazards of taking a Chinese Menu approach to the Bible, ie, "2 from column A and 3 from column B", in order to support a strict interpretation. The E-mail sources used are the second and third chapters of The Old Testment.
The impetus for the E-mail was one of the radio shows of Dr. Laura Schlessinger, who appears to be having the same kind of public relations year as Lindsay Lohan.
Dr. Laura allegedly contended that as an Orthodox Jew, "homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance."
Here, with only slight editing, is the E-mail:
"Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. . . . I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can . When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them (of) Leviticus 18:22. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35.2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abdomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there degrees of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading classes. Does my vision have to be 20-20? Is there any wiggle room here?
8.. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though that is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19-27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11. 6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? (Probably pre-Wilson Sporting Goods. ed.)
10. My Uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19-19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.
Is it really necessary we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24: 10-16? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20.14)
I know you hve studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's Word is eternal and unchanging."
(signed- "Your adoring fan" - name withheld)
Blasphemy? You decide. Living in a community mostly comprised of snowbirds, it would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian.
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