A LITTLE LIGHTER

"SOMETHING FISHY":

We often frequent a Sarasota restaurant called "The Lucky Pelican". It has a reputation for great fish specialities. Every time you eat there you earn points. Each week the Pelican advises you via e-mail how many you have accumulated and the number you lack for your next reward.

We're up to "goldfish status".

Along with the point notification and info regarding future events to be held there, the Pelican furnishes it's readers with a weekly household tip. Some are fascinating. Others like, "101 ways to cook rhubarb" - are less so.

Last weeks advice was: "If you have stubborn grease stains on your work clothes: add a bottle of coke with detergent. It will help loosen the grease."

Wife Phyl and I have gone nuts in our attempts to locate that particular Coke brand. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
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NOTABLE'S QUOTES:

Some quotes from my favorite philosopher, Alfred E. Neuman:

"If opera is entertainment, then falling off a roof is transportation."

"Getting old is when a narrow waist and a broad mind switch places."

"How come we choose from just two people for President, and fifty for Miss America?"

"Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same."

"In retrospect it becomes clear that hindsight is definitely overrated."

And my favorite, "Blood may be thicker than water - but it makes lousy lemonade!"
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STRANGE FACTS ABOUT SEX:

"A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes."

"Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure."

"The male praying mantis cannot copulate while it's head is attached to it's body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off." ("Lucy, I'm home. What the ...")

"Some lions mate over 50 times in one day" (Best to cancel any Safari plans for that day)

Many women opt for quality over quantity and, after reading the above, state: "Love that pig!"

It's a pity that Edgar Kasey, an advocate of reincaration, didn't support transmigration. (coming back as animals) There would be one heck of a lot of happy Arkansas Razorback fans out there.
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SHELF HELP:

Finally, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said, "If I told you, - it would defeat the purpose."

Enjoy. It ain't all heavy.