"There is a new type of alarm clock on the market. It makes no noise. it uses lights and get's brighter and brighter until you wake up. I already have one of those. It's called a window."
Jay Leno
"If at first you don't succeed - so much for skydiving."
Henny Youngman.
"Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family - in another city".
George Burns
The waitress was refilling cups of coffee when she stopped at the table next to ours. "Regular?", she asked her customer. "Yes, thank you," said the man. "Due to a steady diet of fruit."
Readers Digest
"Money isn't everything, but, it sure keeps you in touch with your children."
J.P Getty
"Unexpected money is a delight. The same sum is a bitterness when you expected more."
Mark Twain.
"The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed."
(Anonymous)
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
(Anonymous)
Final story:
John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request, dear," he said.
"Of course John," his wife said softly.
"Six months after I die, " he said, "I want you to marry Bob."
"But, I thought you hated Bob", She said.
With his last breath John said, "I do."
Enjoy!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Judgment
I, above a lot of people, would hate to be judged only by the errors or poor judgments I've made on my quest to become an octogenarian.
Like most of us I'd rather critique the judgment of others as opposed to myself. Unfortunately, like a black cloud overhead, not unlike the one that followed Joe Btfsplk in the Lil Abner comic strip, my memory is better than I would wish in that regard..
Despite that I continue to make judgments about the management team of my beloved Pittsburgh Pirates.
Now, being an owner of the Pirates apparently comes with some special privileges. I can recall one writer's column during the off season (as opposed to the off - in season of the Pirates) that the Pirates were allegedly considering raising the price of their tickets during 2010.
Stick with me here, folks. In the Pirate organization it is not unprecedented. I wondered aloud how an organization that consistently failed to produce a decent team, let alone a winning record for 17 years, would have the chutzpah to raise their prices and then provide the rationale behind that decision as, "we had to do this because attendance was off".
See, to my way of thinking, this is like not recognizing your responsibility to try to make a bad marriage better and instead concluding the situation justified you having multiple external affairs.
Yeah, I know the logic - or absence of same - sucks, but so does the many ill advised decisions made by the Pirates management team.
It is not my intention to bore you with the specifics. Go to Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.com if you really want validation and a much better perspective of the whole mess by people much more qualified than this writer.
Management has made so many bad decisions in the form of trades and acquisitions that one has to wonder if they really have a clue as to what they are doing. This assessment is not meant to speak to just their actions in the current year . It includes those years even before the powers that be opted to extend the contracts of both their hapless stoic manager and their G.M.
I'm sure the folks in charge at Ford Motor also felt the engineers who designed the Edsel were "the most qualified available", but, at some point they asked those engineers to move on and shelved the Edsel regardless of it's pronounced namesake status.
Let's assume for a moment that the Pirate fans are stockholders in your franchise. They have bought your stock in the form of tickets and pierogies. After 17 years of consistent losses how long do you believe the exec's in any other business would hold on to their jobs?
Unless you are a political appointee how can you possibly justify expecting to continue to be rewarded for your terrible judgments.
My career would have ended abruptly - much shorter than when I opted to take early retirement several years later - had I not had the wisdom to understand that I was in way over my head in certain areas of my job description.
Each year I was asked to take on more and more responsibility. I was told this was due to a perceived modicum of success in my management style.
The problem was that my ego was too big to allow me to say "NO".
Finally, I went to my superiors and asked for their assistance. We jointly agreed that a better plan was for me to stick to the things I do best and carefully delegate the matters for which I was insufficiently qualified to those folks who could run rings around me in some of the specialty areas.
It was a game winning plan and resulted in what I was told was a contributing factor in my having had a successful management career. It was not just the folks I supervised who made it work- and trust me- they were fantastic -it was the intelligence of those to whom I reported as well.
It's a plan I wish someone would implement with the Pirates. After all, this is a management team who was wise enough to rehire their dissident Pierogi Man.
I have met Neal Huntington several times at Spring Training. He is a charming and gracious man who has been extremely patient in addressing the many questions my brother and I have asked of him. However, a judgment as to his knowledge and qualifications as a major league scouting resource is very much up in the air.
If you truly appear to know little about the scouting of professional athletes, why would you not seek out and pay people appropriately who do have that knowledge?
Honestly, there are a lot of people out there in the other 29 team organizations who know so much more about player personnel than just how to operate a radar gun.
In conclusion: There is considerable dissatisfaction out there about this management team . However, apparently there are not enough people in a decision making position who are willing to make the requisite changes that a good organization requires.
Of course, that's just one man's opinion - or judgment- as they like to say..
But, then again, that apparently isn't a "judgment" shared by everyone.
Like most of us I'd rather critique the judgment of others as opposed to myself. Unfortunately, like a black cloud overhead, not unlike the one that followed Joe Btfsplk in the Lil Abner comic strip, my memory is better than I would wish in that regard..
Despite that I continue to make judgments about the management team of my beloved Pittsburgh Pirates.
Now, being an owner of the Pirates apparently comes with some special privileges. I can recall one writer's column during the off season (as opposed to the off - in season of the Pirates) that the Pirates were allegedly considering raising the price of their tickets during 2010.
Stick with me here, folks. In the Pirate organization it is not unprecedented. I wondered aloud how an organization that consistently failed to produce a decent team, let alone a winning record for 17 years, would have the chutzpah to raise their prices and then provide the rationale behind that decision as, "we had to do this because attendance was off".
See, to my way of thinking, this is like not recognizing your responsibility to try to make a bad marriage better and instead concluding the situation justified you having multiple external affairs.
Yeah, I know the logic - or absence of same - sucks, but so does the many ill advised decisions made by the Pirates management team.
It is not my intention to bore you with the specifics. Go to Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.com if you really want validation and a much better perspective of the whole mess by people much more qualified than this writer.
Management has made so many bad decisions in the form of trades and acquisitions that one has to wonder if they really have a clue as to what they are doing. This assessment is not meant to speak to just their actions in the current year . It includes those years even before the powers that be opted to extend the contracts of both their hapless stoic manager and their G.M.
I'm sure the folks in charge at Ford Motor also felt the engineers who designed the Edsel were "the most qualified available", but, at some point they asked those engineers to move on and shelved the Edsel regardless of it's pronounced namesake status.
Let's assume for a moment that the Pirate fans are stockholders in your franchise. They have bought your stock in the form of tickets and pierogies. After 17 years of consistent losses how long do you believe the exec's in any other business would hold on to their jobs?
Unless you are a political appointee how can you possibly justify expecting to continue to be rewarded for your terrible judgments.
My career would have ended abruptly - much shorter than when I opted to take early retirement several years later - had I not had the wisdom to understand that I was in way over my head in certain areas of my job description.
Each year I was asked to take on more and more responsibility. I was told this was due to a perceived modicum of success in my management style.
The problem was that my ego was too big to allow me to say "NO".
Finally, I went to my superiors and asked for their assistance. We jointly agreed that a better plan was for me to stick to the things I do best and carefully delegate the matters for which I was insufficiently qualified to those folks who could run rings around me in some of the specialty areas.
It was a game winning plan and resulted in what I was told was a contributing factor in my having had a successful management career. It was not just the folks I supervised who made it work- and trust me- they were fantastic -it was the intelligence of those to whom I reported as well.
It's a plan I wish someone would implement with the Pirates. After all, this is a management team who was wise enough to rehire their dissident Pierogi Man.
I have met Neal Huntington several times at Spring Training. He is a charming and gracious man who has been extremely patient in addressing the many questions my brother and I have asked of him. However, a judgment as to his knowledge and qualifications as a major league scouting resource is very much up in the air.
If you truly appear to know little about the scouting of professional athletes, why would you not seek out and pay people appropriately who do have that knowledge?
Honestly, there are a lot of people out there in the other 29 team organizations who know so much more about player personnel than just how to operate a radar gun.
In conclusion: There is considerable dissatisfaction out there about this management team . However, apparently there are not enough people in a decision making position who are willing to make the requisite changes that a good organization requires.
Of course, that's just one man's opinion - or judgment- as they like to say..
But, then again, that apparently isn't a "judgment" shared by everyone.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Baseball etc
Recently read a couple of friend Harry's blogs. I love his critiques of what he sees going on nowadays. It would be unfair to refer to him as a curmudgeon as the man does not have a mean bone in his body. I prefer to think of what Harry writes - and occasionaly myself - as just "thoughtful observations."
Occasionally, as in the last blog when I took on the subject of politicians I'm aware many would/will simply dismiss my observations as coming from some old fool. And, that's okay.
Just about anything someone might call me reminds me that I'm still alive and kicking.
Unfortunately, some very special people in my life cannot say the same. Hopefully, they can read blogs up in Heaven as both my friend and I take the time to reminisce.
Both Harry and I wrote about instant replay. I immediately was reminded of the joke about instant replay when it first came on the TV's in local bars. I watched a guy hit a homerun on the screen in front of us at Martini's a Pittsburgh bar and restaurant.
A drunk nearby, who was shooting pool for drinks asked me:, "What's all the noise about? I explained that the batter just hit a homerun. I said, "I'll bet you a buck the next guy does too"
Okay, I cheated the guy but I bought him a drink with his buck.
We were witness to a lot of changes back in those days. I had a friend by the name of John Tubbs. Most of us smoked back then and you could do so at Martini's bar.. Tubbs asked the guy beside him if he had a light. The guy handed him something that looked like a shotgun shell.
Tubbs said, "What's the !@#$%^ is this?" The guy explained it's something new and was called a throwaway lighter. Tubbs looked at it for a minute,spun the wheel at the top and lit his cigarette. Then he turned away from the guy and heaved his lighter down the other end of the bar.
Not all change is bad - nor good. I can't count the number of times when I sat with my brother Jim at McKechnie Field in Bradenton watching Spring Training games. Something suddenly happened and I immediately looked toward the oufield fence for the instant replay.
You get accustomed to being spoiled - yet, I still have some really fond memories of things I did to amuse myself as a kid that involved baseball and other pursuits when we were bereft of today's conveniences.
I loved our summer vacations up at Edinboro Lake about 17 miles south of Erie, Pa. We rented a cottage that was aptly called ,The Bambi. It may have been the smallest cottage on the lakefront, but it served the needs of 3 kids and their parents who had never been able to afford a week of summer vacation before.
Sometimes we had access to a rowboat - or a bamboo pole. With the latter I dug up earthworms in the soft damp soil adjacent to the lake side of the road. I bought a bobber, sinker, line, and an assortment of hooks either down the way at The Canoe Club or from the folks who rented out the cottages.
I knew absolutely nothing about fishing but, I did know that for a skinny shy kid who spent a lot of time looking downcast, this was the greatest activity I could have found. It wasn't very expensive either.
Another time-taker-upper was a sawed off broomstick and some gravel stones that I could throw up in the air and hit out over the rickety wooden dock across the road. That is, when I wanted to hit them. You see I did a play by play of two teams - like the Pirates and The Cubs -replete with the names of all the players and the order in which they batted.
It was amazing. The Cubs simply could not solve Cliff Chambers and Murry Dickson, but Ralph Kiner and Wally Westlake murdered them..
Occasionally, as in the last blog when I took on the subject of politicians I'm aware many would/will simply dismiss my observations as coming from some old fool. And, that's okay.
Just about anything someone might call me reminds me that I'm still alive and kicking.
Unfortunately, some very special people in my life cannot say the same. Hopefully, they can read blogs up in Heaven as both my friend and I take the time to reminisce.
Both Harry and I wrote about instant replay. I immediately was reminded of the joke about instant replay when it first came on the TV's in local bars. I watched a guy hit a homerun on the screen in front of us at Martini's a Pittsburgh bar and restaurant.
A drunk nearby, who was shooting pool for drinks asked me:, "What's all the noise about? I explained that the batter just hit a homerun. I said, "I'll bet you a buck the next guy does too"
Okay, I cheated the guy but I bought him a drink with his buck.
We were witness to a lot of changes back in those days. I had a friend by the name of John Tubbs. Most of us smoked back then and you could do so at Martini's bar.. Tubbs asked the guy beside him if he had a light. The guy handed him something that looked like a shotgun shell.
Tubbs said, "What's the !@#$%^ is this?" The guy explained it's something new and was called a throwaway lighter. Tubbs looked at it for a minute,spun the wheel at the top and lit his cigarette. Then he turned away from the guy and heaved his lighter down the other end of the bar.
Not all change is bad - nor good. I can't count the number of times when I sat with my brother Jim at McKechnie Field in Bradenton watching Spring Training games. Something suddenly happened and I immediately looked toward the oufield fence for the instant replay.
You get accustomed to being spoiled - yet, I still have some really fond memories of things I did to amuse myself as a kid that involved baseball and other pursuits when we were bereft of today's conveniences.
I loved our summer vacations up at Edinboro Lake about 17 miles south of Erie, Pa. We rented a cottage that was aptly called ,The Bambi. It may have been the smallest cottage on the lakefront, but it served the needs of 3 kids and their parents who had never been able to afford a week of summer vacation before.
Sometimes we had access to a rowboat - or a bamboo pole. With the latter I dug up earthworms in the soft damp soil adjacent to the lake side of the road. I bought a bobber, sinker, line, and an assortment of hooks either down the way at The Canoe Club or from the folks who rented out the cottages.
I knew absolutely nothing about fishing but, I did know that for a skinny shy kid who spent a lot of time looking downcast, this was the greatest activity I could have found. It wasn't very expensive either.
Another time-taker-upper was a sawed off broomstick and some gravel stones that I could throw up in the air and hit out over the rickety wooden dock across the road. That is, when I wanted to hit them. You see I did a play by play of two teams - like the Pirates and The Cubs -replete with the names of all the players and the order in which they batted.
It was amazing. The Cubs simply could not solve Cliff Chambers and Murry Dickson, but Ralph Kiner and Wally Westlake murdered them..
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
ON THE OTHER HAND - - - -
''GOOD JUDGMENT COMES FROM EXPERIENCE, AND A LOT OF THAT COMES FROM BAD JUDGMENT" - Will Rogers.
It's doubtful Will would have been amazed at the thinking of folks today.
The big hue and cry these days as in previous elections and centuries seems to be: VOTE THEM OUT - ALL OF THEM!
One assumes that what is being requested is that all incumbents should be defeated at the polls in November. Interesting idea. So, just what is it that folks think will be accomplished? Is there an assumption that when they leave office the incumbents will take the Lobbyists with them?
If so, I am sad. In point of fact, those politicians who folks are so anxious to "vote out' will most likely become members of the detested "lobbyist" ranks.
When they leave office they will only leave behind their seniority - committee representation - leverage -and earmarks for those projects we requested- all the things about their personna that we really didn't seem to mind.
however, what they will take with them is a pension plan that is the envy of everyone but , possibly, retiring government workers in Connecticut. Of course, these former incumbents will also demand to be addressed by their previous titles - receiving the same degree of respect granted to that Coach you insisted be fired from your favorite NFL team.
So, is it a bad idea?
No, not really but, it also captures the philosophy of the populace who still have not wrapepd their arms around delayed gratification - and, are in for a shock.
Further more, it doesn't address the reality of how the Lobbyists are really the ones controlling this country - and they don't have to run for office again every few years. But, who is going to stop them? Not, the Supreme Court. Maybe the FBI, if we ever find out what their
investigations of Congress members concluded.
Or, the voters demanding and monitoring real change. Hmmm, what a concept!
The folks voted for in the primaries, with the possible exception of maybe the two billionaires in California-- if elected- will immediately will begin to campaign for re-election and seek a source of funding for same. If it's a representative who has been newly voted into office, they will clearly understand he or she has a limited time before they will have to go through this whole voting stuff again.
Don't take my word for it. It's well documented.
The "newbies" will next appraise and reflect on who will fund their re-election campaigns in 2 to 4 years. Guess who they will come up with?
These new Representative or Senator who we voted in for the first time MAY have fewer lines in their face, better taste in ties, more color to their cheeks and their hair, more spring in their step and, if we're lucky less misdemeanors and felonies in their past- but, they truly don't start off their term of office "running with both feet on the ground" - unless they're referring to re-election.
Everyone who has ever served in Congress knows and understands that the list of "poverty stricken" politicans who retired or were pushed out would take up a very small amount of space to list.
You might be able to publish it yourself -with a single twitter.
Oh, and those promises the successful new politicians made? Now, don't get me started on a laughing jag. Unfortunately, there will be quite a few "heartfelt changes of opinion" based on "acquiring information not previously available to me."
Then it will be off on a short jaunt to the infamous "K Street" in Washington, D.C. where the lobbyists hang out. The "newbies" had a change of heart on that topic also.
One positive possibility exists though. If they run into the guy over on "K" who previously hung out in their new office they might ask him or her whatever happened to the petty cash fund.
Does anybody out there have a Bible where somewhere in The New Testament, Christ is quoted as having said, "On the other hand - - - -?"
Didn't think so.
It's doubtful Will would have been amazed at the thinking of folks today.
The big hue and cry these days as in previous elections and centuries seems to be: VOTE THEM OUT - ALL OF THEM!
One assumes that what is being requested is that all incumbents should be defeated at the polls in November. Interesting idea. So, just what is it that folks think will be accomplished? Is there an assumption that when they leave office the incumbents will take the Lobbyists with them?
If so, I am sad. In point of fact, those politicians who folks are so anxious to "vote out' will most likely become members of the detested "lobbyist" ranks.
When they leave office they will only leave behind their seniority - committee representation - leverage -and earmarks for those projects we requested- all the things about their personna that we really didn't seem to mind.
however, what they will take with them is a pension plan that is the envy of everyone but , possibly, retiring government workers in Connecticut. Of course, these former incumbents will also demand to be addressed by their previous titles - receiving the same degree of respect granted to that Coach you insisted be fired from your favorite NFL team.
So, is it a bad idea?
No, not really but, it also captures the philosophy of the populace who still have not wrapepd their arms around delayed gratification - and, are in for a shock.
Further more, it doesn't address the reality of how the Lobbyists are really the ones controlling this country - and they don't have to run for office again every few years. But, who is going to stop them? Not, the Supreme Court. Maybe the FBI, if we ever find out what their
investigations of Congress members concluded.
Or, the voters demanding and monitoring real change. Hmmm, what a concept!
The folks voted for in the primaries, with the possible exception of maybe the two billionaires in California-- if elected- will immediately will begin to campaign for re-election and seek a source of funding for same. If it's a representative who has been newly voted into office, they will clearly understand he or she has a limited time before they will have to go through this whole voting stuff again.
Don't take my word for it. It's well documented.
The "newbies" will next appraise and reflect on who will fund their re-election campaigns in 2 to 4 years. Guess who they will come up with?
These new Representative or Senator who we voted in for the first time MAY have fewer lines in their face, better taste in ties, more color to their cheeks and their hair, more spring in their step and, if we're lucky less misdemeanors and felonies in their past- but, they truly don't start off their term of office "running with both feet on the ground" - unless they're referring to re-election.
Everyone who has ever served in Congress knows and understands that the list of "poverty stricken" politicans who retired or were pushed out would take up a very small amount of space to list.
You might be able to publish it yourself -with a single twitter.
Oh, and those promises the successful new politicians made? Now, don't get me started on a laughing jag. Unfortunately, there will be quite a few "heartfelt changes of opinion" based on "acquiring information not previously available to me."
Then it will be off on a short jaunt to the infamous "K Street" in Washington, D.C. where the lobbyists hang out. The "newbies" had a change of heart on that topic also.
One positive possibility exists though. If they run into the guy over on "K" who previously hung out in their new office they might ask him or her whatever happened to the petty cash fund.
Does anybody out there have a Bible where somewhere in The New Testament, Christ is quoted as having said, "On the other hand - - - -?"
Didn't think so.
Friday, June 11, 2010
IRISH HUMOR
This morning, Phyl - my B.W. -was examining our dog Bella who has recently been experiencing some medical problems. I was busy doing something else- and lost track of what she was doing when I heard her exclaim, "Well, it's time to start treating fleas."
I responded, "How about taking them to Chuck E. Cheese?"
Bella has not had fleas in all of her three years of life.
That may be the period of time before my wife starts talking to me again.
_______________________________
Purloined Humor: (Stuff overheard and stolen from various E-mails.)
TOUGH LOVE:
"I was in the express lane, silently fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.
Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, 'So which six items would you like to buy?"
AIRLINES:
United Airlines flight attendant announced: "People, people we're not picking out furniture here. Find a seat and get in it!"
--------
Heard on a Southwest Airline flight: "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and, if you can light 'em, you can smoke em."
-------
The flight attendant announces at beginning of the flight: "Folks, listen up. There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane!"
MISCELLANEOUS:
Three friends from the local congregation were asked, When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"
Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."
Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."
Larry said: "I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'
------
Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45 minute wait for a table. "Young man, we're both 90 years old", the husband said. We might not have 45 minutes."
They were seated immediately.
------
FINALLY:
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening she goes to Barry's bar and picks up men. In fact she sleeps with anybody who asks her. I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?"
"Relax" says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Barry's bar?"
---------------
Have a great weekend!
I responded, "How about taking them to Chuck E. Cheese?"
Bella has not had fleas in all of her three years of life.
That may be the period of time before my wife starts talking to me again.
_______________________________
Purloined Humor: (Stuff overheard and stolen from various E-mails.)
TOUGH LOVE:
"I was in the express lane, silently fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.
Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, 'So which six items would you like to buy?"
AIRLINES:
United Airlines flight attendant announced: "People, people we're not picking out furniture here. Find a seat and get in it!"
--------
Heard on a Southwest Airline flight: "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and, if you can light 'em, you can smoke em."
-------
The flight attendant announces at beginning of the flight: "Folks, listen up. There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane!"
MISCELLANEOUS:
Three friends from the local congregation were asked, When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"
Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."
Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."
Larry said: "I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'
------
Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45 minute wait for a table. "Young man, we're both 90 years old", the husband said. We might not have 45 minutes."
They were seated immediately.
------
FINALLY:
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening she goes to Barry's bar and picks up men. In fact she sleeps with anybody who asks her. I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?"
"Relax" says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Barry's bar?"
---------------
Have a great weekend!
Monday, June 7, 2010
"KILL DA UMPS"?
When I was a kid in Pittsburgh attending the Pirates games I joined in the chorus of boos the fans shouted at the umpires. "Kill Da Ump' was a very popular accompanying epithet.
The other day my wife Phyl was kind enough to listen to her husband's long discourse on the Jim Joyce/Andrew Galarraga matter and the debate over further instant replay. As I paused to take a breath my wife asked what I felt was a brillant question: "Do you think they will ever be a day without umpires in baseball?"
Being typical Mr. know-it-all - and a male (inseparable descriptions) I eagerly jumped into the fray and replied: "While I believe it could happen with all the technical advances being made - I don't see it ever occurring in Baseball."
"Why is that?", she pursued with a patient love that only my wife possesses.
Still, I paused for a minute. "Do I owe her any money?", I wondered.
Then returning to my pontification - no doubt either "churching up" my fingers in a steeple arc or resting my hand on my chin with my thumb anchored on my throat, I explained:
"Baseball is a game of inches - and at one time truly was our National Pastime. But, then along came George Romero with "The Night Of The Living Dead' and we eagerly switched our male allegiance over to something a little more 'cavemanish': Football.
Baseball is a 'game' of tradition that employs a structure for providing daily morality lessons. It did so once again with Joyce/Galarraga."
I had a feeling Phyl was starting to lose her enthusiasm for one-way communication. Her eyes appeared to be in stage two of glazing . Still I stumbled on, "You see Baseball was never meant to be a fix for all the people who want instant gratification and total resolution of any and every controversy. That's also the reason God gave us politicians.
Early in the 50's we Sullivans obtained our first television set. It sat up against a wall blocking a side window thus allowing all 5 of us to spread out in our favorite living room positions in our new house.
We fixated on Liberace, Rocky King, Milton Berle, along with local shows such as Hank Stohl and Knish, and Kay Neumann's cooking shows. We also enjoyed watching the one hour dramas like Kraft Television Theater, Goodyear Television Playhouse, and Westinghouse's Studio One.
Mom was a huge movie fan and once worked in Wilmerding as a ticket cashier where, when the last show was well into it's first half-hour, she would join the movie attendees inside as no new patrons were expected. She thrived on repeatedly watching the many movies featuring Joan Crawford, Alexis Smith, Betty Davis, Barbara Stanwyck etc.
Later in life when she and Dad would become involved in an argument at home Mom would defend her position with her usual dramatic proficiency. This would immediately draw the response from Dad, "Aha, Sarah Bernhardt is back!"
I'm convinced that her love of movies and their usual perfect endings was a contributing factor in her insistance at Ladies Day games that we could not leave Forbes Field when they were losing 20 runs to two if there was even a slight possibility that Ralph Kiner might get a turn at bat in the 9th inning.
She loved the drama of baseball as well as her movies and I became the Odysseus to her Circe, acquiring her love for both movies and baseball.
It was Studio One that was her downfall. At the end of the hour when Westinghouse had Betty Furness frantically yanking on one more refrigerator door, the credits would start to roll. Mom would sit up and, looking straight at me in particular, ask in an anxious voice, "What happened? Did he go back to her? Did she regret her anger and pettiness. Did the rabbit live?"
It was a challenging moment for a skinny high school kid like me. I would patiently explain that we don't know the ending and that was playwright Stirling Sylliphant's purpose in ending his story as he chose. I told Mom, "He wants us to determine how the story should end."
"Well, that's the dumbest thing I ever heard of." replied my exasperated mother; the baseball and movie fanatic.
So, it is with today's generation of baseball fans. Many of them also want closure. Many of us oldtimers, with our purist bent, prefer the now comfortable uncertainty of the outcome of a play or a game.
We're willing to concede that a TV replay of an alleged home run may be acceptable but beg that Major League Baseball (MLB) does not turn our beloved Baseball into just one more outrageous video game.
Regardless of how I may feel about MLB Commisioner Bud Selig, I silently thanked him for refusing to "Kill Da Ump." Bud, who will soon be 76, probably loved Studio One, too.
Now, if I could just figure out at what point my wife left before I finished my explanation.
The other day my wife Phyl was kind enough to listen to her husband's long discourse on the Jim Joyce/Andrew Galarraga matter and the debate over further instant replay. As I paused to take a breath my wife asked what I felt was a brillant question: "Do you think they will ever be a day without umpires in baseball?"
Being typical Mr. know-it-all - and a male (inseparable descriptions) I eagerly jumped into the fray and replied: "While I believe it could happen with all the technical advances being made - I don't see it ever occurring in Baseball."
"Why is that?", she pursued with a patient love that only my wife possesses.
Still, I paused for a minute. "Do I owe her any money?", I wondered.
Then returning to my pontification - no doubt either "churching up" my fingers in a steeple arc or resting my hand on my chin with my thumb anchored on my throat, I explained:
"Baseball is a game of inches - and at one time truly was our National Pastime. But, then along came George Romero with "The Night Of The Living Dead' and we eagerly switched our male allegiance over to something a little more 'cavemanish': Football.
Baseball is a 'game' of tradition that employs a structure for providing daily morality lessons. It did so once again with Joyce/Galarraga."
I had a feeling Phyl was starting to lose her enthusiasm for one-way communication. Her eyes appeared to be in stage two of glazing . Still I stumbled on, "You see Baseball was never meant to be a fix for all the people who want instant gratification and total resolution of any and every controversy. That's also the reason God gave us politicians.
Early in the 50's we Sullivans obtained our first television set. It sat up against a wall blocking a side window thus allowing all 5 of us to spread out in our favorite living room positions in our new house.
We fixated on Liberace, Rocky King, Milton Berle, along with local shows such as Hank Stohl and Knish, and Kay Neumann's cooking shows. We also enjoyed watching the one hour dramas like Kraft Television Theater, Goodyear Television Playhouse, and Westinghouse's Studio One.
Mom was a huge movie fan and once worked in Wilmerding as a ticket cashier where, when the last show was well into it's first half-hour, she would join the movie attendees inside as no new patrons were expected. She thrived on repeatedly watching the many movies featuring Joan Crawford, Alexis Smith, Betty Davis, Barbara Stanwyck etc.
Later in life when she and Dad would become involved in an argument at home Mom would defend her position with her usual dramatic proficiency. This would immediately draw the response from Dad, "Aha, Sarah Bernhardt is back!"
I'm convinced that her love of movies and their usual perfect endings was a contributing factor in her insistance at Ladies Day games that we could not leave Forbes Field when they were losing 20 runs to two if there was even a slight possibility that Ralph Kiner might get a turn at bat in the 9th inning.
She loved the drama of baseball as well as her movies and I became the Odysseus to her Circe, acquiring her love for both movies and baseball.
It was Studio One that was her downfall. At the end of the hour when Westinghouse had Betty Furness frantically yanking on one more refrigerator door, the credits would start to roll. Mom would sit up and, looking straight at me in particular, ask in an anxious voice, "What happened? Did he go back to her? Did she regret her anger and pettiness. Did the rabbit live?"
It was a challenging moment for a skinny high school kid like me. I would patiently explain that we don't know the ending and that was playwright Stirling Sylliphant's purpose in ending his story as he chose. I told Mom, "He wants us to determine how the story should end."
"Well, that's the dumbest thing I ever heard of." replied my exasperated mother; the baseball and movie fanatic.
So, it is with today's generation of baseball fans. Many of them also want closure. Many of us oldtimers, with our purist bent, prefer the now comfortable uncertainty of the outcome of a play or a game.
We're willing to concede that a TV replay of an alleged home run may be acceptable but beg that Major League Baseball (MLB) does not turn our beloved Baseball into just one more outrageous video game.
Regardless of how I may feel about MLB Commisioner Bud Selig, I silently thanked him for refusing to "Kill Da Ump." Bud, who will soon be 76, probably loved Studio One, too.
Now, if I could just figure out at what point my wife left before I finished my explanation.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
LIAR,LIAR PANTS ON FIRE
The act of lying has increased greatly. Perhaps it's the old joke in action about a guy in Manhattan who gets lost and inquires"How do you get to Carnegie Hall?" The answer he got was: "Practice, Practice, Practice!".
We see lying going to new heights - or is it new lows - as practiced by our politicians. Folks, this ain't even "spinning". It's outright lying. We have become a culture of consummate liars,i.e., the
politician who lied and told folks he was a Vietnam veteran and the other politico preaching the benefits of abstinence while boffing a woman on his staff.
And, they weren't even the good liars.
Years ago as a young insurance claim representative we were called adjusters - but some insurance companies dropped the term as it appeared to suggest some devious activity on our part . Plaintiff attorneys successfully convinced juries that if we were "adjusting claims" we obviously weren't paying what the claim was worth.
Yeah, it was a lie but no more than what you hear everyday from the large law firms who continue to insist that insurance companies and their employees are Lucifer incarnate.
The first frequent exposure to lying began for me in the 60's when I started out adjusting (oops) -handling claims and it wasn't me doing the lying. My good Irish Catholic mother taught me what the consequences of lying were. That was enough to scare me half to death. I was too old and too proud to have my boss sticking Fels-Naptha soap in my mouth for telling a lie.
I was sort of naive and believed all or at least most of the stuff I had heard from Mom. When I became part of the insurance claim business I quickly learned life wasn't exactly a level playing field and the insurance employees were the ones struggling to catch up with the bad guys.
The first instance that this reality rattled me was a claimant from a mid-eastern country who was building his claim by over treating - exaggerating his injury - and insisting we insurance guys were truly thieves. At one point I sat with the man and reviewed all of his medical bills. There were many listing dates of treatment that preceded the accident we were discussing.
I said, "Sir, these bills have nothing to do with the accident. We simply cannot consider most of them." He looked at me , smiled and said, "OK, but how about all these other bills?"
My point is he did so with no shame and apparently no need for an apology either. There was a disconnect in the man's mind between what the mouth was saying and what he knew to be a lie. In truth (pun intended) he saw nothing wrong with what he was doing.
At the risk of offending some mid-eastern friends most of whom I both respect and enjoy, I believed it was more of a cultural display that demonstrated a different interpretation of lying from that which I was taught.
This conclusion was next ratified by a guy from Yemen now living in Pittsburgh's South Hills.. Discovering that I had recently purchased a home, he offered to have the yard sodded and purchase a new refrigerator for my wife if I was willing to overlook some real holes in his claim.
Now, many who read this would find a faulty syllogism in what I just wrote. They would defensively declare it wasn't the culture of the men - it was just a couple of guys trying to make a dishonest buck. They would insist that it didn't allow me to excuse the Irish, German, and English claimants with whom I was negotiating (oops, there it is again!) and lying through their teeth.
And they might well have been right but my experience was fairly consistent with the group I've referenced.
Not all Muslims are making bombs. But, the fact that the examples I just listed kept coming up again and again caused me to keep my guard up when dealing with folks from the Middle East and I wasn't disappointed in my pre-convictions.
My final example was a married couple from the Middle East claiming to be doctors. They billed excessively and apparently were very dedicated to their work as it was not uncommon after careful examination of their bills to find that they were reportedly seeing patients on Easter, Christmas, and Thanksgiving.
They were later exposed as neither of them had a medical license, but, in the meantime they had swindled thousands and thousands of dollars from "insurance companies". You know the ones who the Attorney ads tell you are the real thieves. Lying to accident victims: Bad. Lying to Insurance companies- Good.
No! The truth is that lying is not the special privilege of any ethnic group nor profession no matter how you might have felt about the press conferences of the little guy with the white hair and bushy mustache, Tarik Iziz, Deputy Foreign Minister of Iraq under Hussein. The man told outrageous lies and appeared to be genuinely offended that what he was saying would not be believed.
Now, this guy was g-o-o-d!
Actually, Tariq Aziz was not his birth name. It was Mikhail Yuhanna. (Michael John). He was born to a Childean Catholic family but changed his name to avoid hostile sentiments against his Christian heritage.
Here we go. Now I'm going to hear about it from my Catholic friends.
Ah well, maybe I'll just tell them I lied.
But, I didn't. No Fels-Naptha soap for this old guy.
We see lying going to new heights - or is it new lows - as practiced by our politicians. Folks, this ain't even "spinning". It's outright lying. We have become a culture of consummate liars,i.e., the
politician who lied and told folks he was a Vietnam veteran and the other politico preaching the benefits of abstinence while boffing a woman on his staff.
And, they weren't even the good liars.
Years ago as a young insurance claim representative we were called adjusters - but some insurance companies dropped the term as it appeared to suggest some devious activity on our part . Plaintiff attorneys successfully convinced juries that if we were "adjusting claims" we obviously weren't paying what the claim was worth.
Yeah, it was a lie but no more than what you hear everyday from the large law firms who continue to insist that insurance companies and their employees are Lucifer incarnate.
The first frequent exposure to lying began for me in the 60's when I started out adjusting (oops) -handling claims and it wasn't me doing the lying. My good Irish Catholic mother taught me what the consequences of lying were. That was enough to scare me half to death. I was too old and too proud to have my boss sticking Fels-Naptha soap in my mouth for telling a lie.
I was sort of naive and believed all or at least most of the stuff I had heard from Mom. When I became part of the insurance claim business I quickly learned life wasn't exactly a level playing field and the insurance employees were the ones struggling to catch up with the bad guys.
The first instance that this reality rattled me was a claimant from a mid-eastern country who was building his claim by over treating - exaggerating his injury - and insisting we insurance guys were truly thieves. At one point I sat with the man and reviewed all of his medical bills. There were many listing dates of treatment that preceded the accident we were discussing.
I said, "Sir, these bills have nothing to do with the accident. We simply cannot consider most of them." He looked at me , smiled and said, "OK, but how about all these other bills?"
My point is he did so with no shame and apparently no need for an apology either. There was a disconnect in the man's mind between what the mouth was saying and what he knew to be a lie. In truth (pun intended) he saw nothing wrong with what he was doing.
At the risk of offending some mid-eastern friends most of whom I both respect and enjoy, I believed it was more of a cultural display that demonstrated a different interpretation of lying from that which I was taught.
This conclusion was next ratified by a guy from Yemen now living in Pittsburgh's South Hills.. Discovering that I had recently purchased a home, he offered to have the yard sodded and purchase a new refrigerator for my wife if I was willing to overlook some real holes in his claim.
Now, many who read this would find a faulty syllogism in what I just wrote. They would defensively declare it wasn't the culture of the men - it was just a couple of guys trying to make a dishonest buck. They would insist that it didn't allow me to excuse the Irish, German, and English claimants with whom I was negotiating (oops, there it is again!) and lying through their teeth.
And they might well have been right but my experience was fairly consistent with the group I've referenced.
Not all Muslims are making bombs. But, the fact that the examples I just listed kept coming up again and again caused me to keep my guard up when dealing with folks from the Middle East and I wasn't disappointed in my pre-convictions.
My final example was a married couple from the Middle East claiming to be doctors. They billed excessively and apparently were very dedicated to their work as it was not uncommon after careful examination of their bills to find that they were reportedly seeing patients on Easter, Christmas, and Thanksgiving.
They were later exposed as neither of them had a medical license, but, in the meantime they had swindled thousands and thousands of dollars from "insurance companies". You know the ones who the Attorney ads tell you are the real thieves. Lying to accident victims: Bad. Lying to Insurance companies- Good.
No! The truth is that lying is not the special privilege of any ethnic group nor profession no matter how you might have felt about the press conferences of the little guy with the white hair and bushy mustache, Tarik Iziz, Deputy Foreign Minister of Iraq under Hussein. The man told outrageous lies and appeared to be genuinely offended that what he was saying would not be believed.
Now, this guy was g-o-o-d!
Actually, Tariq Aziz was not his birth name. It was Mikhail Yuhanna. (Michael John). He was born to a Childean Catholic family but changed his name to avoid hostile sentiments against his Christian heritage.
Here we go. Now I'm going to hear about it from my Catholic friends.
Ah well, maybe I'll just tell them I lied.
But, I didn't. No Fels-Naptha soap for this old guy.
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