PERCEPTION & REALITY

My folks taught my two brothers and me: "You will be judged by your actions."



Later in life, when working for a large company, the greater lesson I learned was that "perception becomes reality." If people perceive that you are this or that - no matter how wrong their judgment may be - it eventually becomes their reality first - and sometimes later - it can also become yours.


For a long time - maybe 13 years or so - I was per my job dutues - (hypothetically) part of labor. In the last 20 + years before retiring , I was a member of management.


It was in this latter capacity that the perception/reality thing really hit home. A training film by Morris Massey entitled "What you are is where your were when" made it clear that many of the decisions I would make as a fairly new member of management would be based on my background.


That was scary because as a young man I had made some decisions that were not well thought out.


As a college freshman I didn't know how to write a check. After graduating I was so afraid of public speaking I dreaded having to inroduce myself at a meeting. As I progressed through my twenties I didn't give much indication I had gained a heckuva lot more sophistication or wisdom since that freshmen year. I could dress well - say the right things, mimic that "Good Barry" my mom always talked about - but, I still didn't seem to get it.



I lacked depth and was stubborn. I felt feeling I could make up my own rules as to how my job should be done .



In some areas it worked well. I developed a way of handling my job duties that went against the company rules but which on further examination they chose to adopt.



My biggest transgression was that of a lack of record keeping. I believed the results justified the means and filing detailed reports was simply redundant. I thought I was bigger than the team and failed to observe the name of my employer's identity did not include the surname Sullivan.



I also chose to ingore that my employer's very successful reputation was largely based upon their penchant for accountability. I was placed on probation at one point.


One day - and unfortunately there were many - my boss called me into a private meeting. He made it abundantly clear that he was ready to recommend termination. He admitted there were several aspects of my job I did very well. However, his conclusions were that the bad outweighed the good. I was 40 years old.


I sat there listening to his eloquent recounting of his total frustration with me. I then surprised him by asking, "Instead of firing me - why not consider promoting me to the current opening for entry level management? I think it's a challenge I'm ready for and will do well."



When he finally recovered we discussed my rationale: I needed a challenge, was tired of "knocking on doors", and was "burned out". My boss was a very bright man and was highly

suspicious of my motivation. He agreed to interview me for the job and even then was not convinced. He met with his managment group in speical session to get their input.


Thanks to him going the extra mile and the management teams honest appraisal of my potential I was given the job on a trial basis. Despite my reputation as sort of a goof-off they were willing to bet I could do okay supervising clerical people.


Their perception became my reality and it changed my life forever. After a year in the entry level position they promoted me. I moved around a little and was given more and more responsibility.I gained a lot of confidence and at one point was sent to Atlanta for the purpose of speaking to an audience of about 1,000 people on the subject of 'Ethics In Business".


That's the good news. It was about a positive perception that became for me a positive reality.
But, we all know theres a flip side to this story . The reality is that my story could have just as easily gone in the other direction. The perception that my boss and his management group had of me could have been negative and also turned into a reality.


For many, many Steeler fans in the city in which I grew up , worked, and loved they also have a perception. It is about their formerly beloved quarterback who based upon what they're hearing is now perceived to be something of a "letch" .



Maybe he is - maybe not - but, in their eyes right now ; with two legal accusations partially behind him , two civil actions pending, and the recent allegation of another potentially act of poor judgment, Ben Rothlisberger is walking a tightrope of a negative perception that could become his reality.


My hope and prayer is that he's not stupid enough to wait until he's 40 to address it. His employer's office door does not list the team as "The Rothlisbergers."