CRASHING THE PARTY

When I first used a computer I was "scared". I was so sure I would do something wrong and it would blow up, etc. The advice I received was, "Don't worry. You can't do anything to it if you just follow the instructions." R-I-G-H-T!

This past Thursday I crashed my computer. We had mistakedly been informed that, since my computer was connected to my wife's computer and server via my wireless router, I would receive her computer anti-virus protection.

I later found out this information was from the same guy who swore to G.W. he had personally seen the weapons of mass instruction in Iraq.

The server I was using for my personal computer provided me with a anti-virus source at little or no cost - forever - or so I thought. I referred to my provider as "Ed". Through the years, "Ed" & I went merrily on our way together down the primrose path. Recently, I was advised by my server that "Ed's"protection was about to expire and I needed to contact him to renew it - at a price.

After researching "Ed's" website I noted the various plans available - thought about signing up - and then decided not to due to the above assurance we were "A.O.K.

If you've ever watched any bomb squad movie you'll recall how the timer keeps ticking down the seconds so you know how much time the good guy has to disconnect the wiring. Seldom does it tell him what color wire to disconnect, however, for, if it did there would be no suspense and the movie would suck. I can relate.

Faithfully, each day I received a popup advising me of my anti-virus countdown. On the day of reckoning, I continued to ignore the warning - and my computer crashed. The repairer at Digital Doctors later said my problem was due to a virus - my first one - as I previously had protection.

When my computer screen dissolved to a black background and white letters I knew I was in trouble. The message before me was apologetic and gave me several options as to how I might rectify the situation. None of them worked.

Then, magically, a prompt came up advising me to push one of the "F" keys, which I did. I was "instructed" to install the System Recovery CD that came with my computer in 2005.

Following instructions, I did just that and watched with amazement as all kinds of things started flipping left to right and right to left in front of me in slam dunk fashion. The process took forever. Occasionally, I received a status report.

One such message furnished me with a warning that, to me, "suggested" I might lose data and files.

Well, C'mon. I guess we've all seen that warning: "You may wish to close all programs you currently have open as you may lose - - - - - . "

"Right! Yeah, sure, pal", I thought, while hitting the O.K button, cause, I never lost anything before when I hit "OK". "Just get things up and working", I muttered.

But you see, that's not what the prompt was actually saying. The message was more like, "Look, S - - t for brains, the recovery process erases all data and files from the hard drive!"

Actually, it was probably the exact same warning as the one on the cover of the Recovery CD which I missed and the D.D. kindly pointed out to me at the shop. He seemed to feel that may have been the reason the computer CD erased or overwrote all my data from the past 4 1/2 years.

Please be assured I was not, and am not, upset with the "Doc". He was patient with me and his recovery results were truly amazing. However, his customer was then, as now, a complete dolt.

Four days later, I have my hard drive back - most of my music - and various documents which I have to download and rename . He recovered the few personal pictures I had stored.

I also have about 2200 other pictures that apparently came with one program or another I downloaded . I know this only because Ava Gardner was never a member of our family - nor, sadly, has she stopped by lately; but she looks great in her stored closeup photo.

So far, I haven't figured out how to get back on my E-mail. When, or if ,I ever do, I will attempt to answer any inquiries or clever info you may have sent to me in the interim. Again, I feel stupid. So, I decided to write this blog for the usual therapeutic reasons - to work out my frustrations.

I'm still upset, but darn, Ava still looks like a keeper.