PROOF- READING - A DYING ART

Despite diligently doing my proof- reading of my blog, and feeling satisfied I had cleaned things up - I then push "publish" - only to discover either my proof- reading or my eyesight has let me down again.

Apparently, I'm not alone with my proof -reading problems. Friend and former Harrisburg neighbor Rick Coe recently sent along an email which offers "proof" of that.

Here are some of the examples - taken from various headlines that managed to slip by somebody's attention.

MAN KILLS SELF BEFORE SHOOTING WIFE AND DAUGHTER
(Apparently a "life after death" experience is to blame!)

SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS.
(Really? Nothing get's past the FAA!)

POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS
(Now, that's taking things WAY too far.)

PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER
(What a guy!)

MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
(Republican warning:"See what happens when Unions abuse their power!")

JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
(Apparently the courts are getting tougher!)

WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE
(I can see where it might have that effect!)

IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY - IT MAY LAST AWHILE
(Ya think?)

COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES
(Who would have thought?)

ENFIELD (LONDON) COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE
(Did France's Inspector Clousseau move to England?)

RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES
(You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?)

MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING: FACES BATTERY CHARGE
(He probably IS the battery charge!)

NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP
(Makes one wonder just how fat you have to be in order to be eligible!)

ASTRONAUT TAKES RESPONSIBILITY FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT
(Perhaps he should have passed on the freeze dried brocolli !)

KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS
(Do they taste like chicken?)

LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF
(Surely, more study is required here!)

HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS
(Caution: These guys aren't just tall - they're pi--ed!-  and they have weapons!)

TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD
(Feel free to add your own caption.)

ENJOY!

''TOO BIG TO FAIL - A ROLE REVERSAL?"

As proof of my recent apparent fascination with the world of gloom and doom I share the following:

When GM was accused of several mechanical problems with their vehicles that led to considerable injuries and deaths, CEO Mary Barra appeared to be willing to gather America into her bosom and assured us that all will be well - as GM would "do the right thing"

That was one Mary Barra.

What impressed me at that time was her sworn promise to uphold civic responsibilities - not just legal ones - and that the GM we all have known and loved for years would be "fully transparent."

It was apparently another Mary Barra who met with Congress last week, and her testimony suggested she had an epiphany - something that, according to the Oxford Dictionary has more than one meaning.

One definition is "A manifestation of a divine or supernatural being."

Unfortunately, this is not the one we have embraced in the  corporate decisions made by "big business."

The one with which we have more familiarity - found further down in the definition list is: "A moment of sudden revelation or insight".

Apparently, this is the one experienced by Ms Barra - and also the one that will be celebrated by GM's executives and most of their stockholders.

You got to assume that Mary - similar to another well known lady referenced in our last blog -  had apparently "mis-spoke" in her previous promise of full disclosure. I can think of no other plausible explanation

Our Mary said in response to questions by Congress last week:

GM will not unseal confidential settlements reached with the families of      victims who died in cars with faulty switches. As one Congressman stated, "this could have saved lives" had they become public earlier (or at all?).

GM will not release documents and interviews that were part of an internal investigation by a handpicked former prosecutor.

GM will not waive a shield against lawsuits won in it's 2009 bankruptcy reorganization when our glorious appointed/and or elected leaders bailed out GM and gave them immunity for pre-2009 sales of millions of defective cars.

GM will not support making executives criminally culpable when they hide a defect that kills or injures.

GM will not dismiss the lawyer who ran the legal department that "secretly" settled claims for the misfunction of the Chevy Cobalt and says "he was unaware of the car's deadly problem until this year."

Last week, The New York Times also reported that GM "repeatedly" dodged safety regulators' inquiries about fatal crashes in which GM airbags failed - raising a red flag in the face of  most sane individuals as well as questions about what executives knew and when they knew it.

Oh, you sinners, - a category in which I ingratiatingly include myself - when you arrive at the Gates of St. Peter - fret not.

Just tell him you're "Too Big To Fail".

NOBODY ASKED ME, BUT- -

I can't seem to determine who my bff really is, but if it is based on frequency of communication - a real plus normally in a healthy relationship - then it obviously is a toss-up between local Attorney John Morgan and Publisher's Clearing House.
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I recently read that campaign ads do not have to state the truth - one more cog or bullet in the argument that the truth has become realitively unimportant in our lives these days. My friend Harry at http//harry2335.blogspot.com/ has written in his blog often about the lies that politicians tell - largely based on the extensive research he has done to prove his point.

When caught, I love the  response politicians give, such as Nancy Pelosi's reply recently, "I mis-spoke."

There appears to be one heck of a lot of "mis-speaking" going on these days.
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After six months or more of watching so many repetitive ads in which each candidate blasts his opponent in the race for Florida Governor - and the obvious contradictions observed in those ads - do you think you may have a handle on why fewer eligible voters seem to want to go to the polls?
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Finally. As mentioned previously, one of my favorite weekly columns is written by two guys who are longtime friends - Cal Thomas, a conservative and Bob Beckel, a liberal Democratic strategist.

What makes the column appealing to me is that, unlike today's politics, each individual - while holding different political views - discuss current events and their personal  reaction to them- and perhaps most importantly,do so with class, intelligence, and insight.

I was very interested in their latest discussion entitled "Today - what's wrong with America?"Like me, you may have pondered the answer many times as well.

I was surprised to see that one of the writers, Cal, who was apparently having what some might describe as "a bad day" - held views that were rather pessimistic. However, you may disagree.

Here's just one example:"The world no longer respects us, terrorists don't fear us, the border with Mexico has been erased, major cities resemble combat zones, (there is)a failure of Middle East policy, a $17 trillion debt, fewer fathers in the home, overflowing prisons, a sense of entitlement rather than personal responsibility, loss of privacy, threats to the Constitution and a drop in approval of our political institutions. Need I go on?"

Bob replied in a much more positive spin: "The problems you outlined are not new. The civil war in Iraq was predictable. The centuries-old conflict among the Shitites, Sunnis and Kurds was exacerbated by America going to war against a country whose borders were drawn by the British."

They followed the above by discussing with the topic of "empires" and whether or not The United States, qualified as such.

Bob's opinion was the empires that collapse from within (as suggested by Cal of our country) are those who tried to dominate the world, mostly by military agression and that the United States has never sought to be an empire.

It was Cal who then dug into historical/sociological references and quoted Sir John Bagot Glubb, (1897 to1986) a British General and historian, and Glubbs'  book "The Fates of Empires and Search For Survival".

What struck me most was when Cal recalled Sir John noted that during the age of intellect, academia produces skeptical intellectuals who oppose the values and religious beliefs of it's founders.

Cal said, "Add to this what he (Glubb) called the corrosive effects of material success. The modern media glorify promiscous sex and everything else that would have shocked our grandparents, another cause of our decline."

Bob replied:"Generations move on. Each generation develops it's own values and cultural icons. I agree the media are obsessed with the worst parts of cultural landscape. We may see that as a sign of decline, but the majority of Americans embrace it, as do billions worldwide. Where you and I see our materialistic culture as a sign of decline, we are in the minority."

Cal then responded with scholar/preacher J. edwin Orr's "a concert of prayer" concept. He referenced previous revivals in our country (ex. post Civil war) with which this phenonema he associated and in which massive numbers of Americans were converted and decided to live differently. He added: "Revivals break out when an authority higher than government decides to rescue people from their wrong choices and a fear that 'without such a revival' we might be doomed."

Bob's opinions differed. He spoke of polarization - alleged it was a few that were the culprits and finished with: "Until the majority demands common ground, this silly notion of 'America in decline' will continue."

Interesting article: " USA Today - Common Ground -Thursday 7/17/14, p.8A"

Lots to think about.

I guess we all have to decide for ourselves if we are indeed an "America in decline" and what the remedy  might be  - (assuming that is the case).

"THE SILVER BULLET LIVES ON"

It was a chilly Arizona night as The Lone Ranger and Tonto were sitting with their back to the fire  - ponchos covering their shoulders - discussing their respective potty habits .

(This part intrigued me because, as a kid listening to their show while lying on the floor in front of our huge Philco radio, I was puzzled and convinced they must never have had to go to the bathroom. Like, you never heard the Lone Ranger say to Tonto before they rode off to chase bad guys, "Hold it Tonto, I've got to take a whiz".)

Apparently, I had "B.R". problems of my own back then, which many claim have still not abated. I digress. Lets get back to our story:

Suddenly, our heroes heard a rustling sound in the woods behind them.

The guy with the white hat went into a panic. His first thought was that the notorious Butch Cavendish gang had snuck up on the two of them and was now seeking to fulfill their vow to wipe out both he and Tonto - without whose help he wouldn't have been around anyway.

In his panic, the Ranger rushed to pull down the black mask protecting his true identity. Tonto was caught off guard as well, and hurriedly reached into the back of his poncho in a vain attempt to reach an arrow from his quiver.

The revered "mask of identity protection" ended up under one ear and over the Ranger's nose but still offered some discreet protection.

Tonto, on the other hand, just stood there looking puzzled as he forgot he had no arrows in his quiver - partially due to the fact he had no quiver and used a rusted gun instead. Old habits die hard.

It mattered not. The noise they heard actually came from someone seeking their help - not their demise.

Hands held high, an Irish guy by the name of Denny Kelleher from the nearby town of "Rim Shot" appeared and began to explain how he and his fellow  residents were seeking relief from the dastardly behavior of the sole town bankers, Sydney and Grope (known simply as Sydney/Grope) and sought the help of the two "good guys"  .

He related to them how the bankers had combined both their assets and their name in order to build the largest and most luxurious bank existing that side of the Mississippi - wiping out all the decent smaller bankers in the process.

He then explained that recently the towns people discovered how Sydney/Grope s had been stealing them blind.

It seemed the two "supposedly" accomplished this by lying to the town folk about the safety of their investments, failing to disclose termite infestation in the store fronts they offered for sale or lease, were salting gold mines, alleging to the citizens that their "premier" mines were loaded with gold (which turned out to be iron pyrites), and had hired bad guys to over-water their sick cattle to inflate both their weight and sale price, and which also appeared to have had the banks brand superimposed on a previous brand.

In short, it was a typical plot for most of the Lone Ranger story lines with which we first became familiar as kids who were fans of both the Lone Ranger and Fran Stryker, his creator.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto acted quickly. But first, fearing the exaggeration of the town folk's allegations, the Ranger wanted to see for himself.

Disdaining his usual choice of "town" disguise as "the old prospecter", the Lone Ranger instead went into "Rim Shot" seeking information while appropriately dressed as an itinerant drummer, a purveyor of womens unmentionables.

Immediately after confirming the suspicions of Kelleher and his neighbors, the two crime fighters confronted the bankers who, not unexpectedly, denied all of their accusations.

Our heroes then engaged the bankers Sydney and Grope in a ferocious gunfight outside the bank that lasted nearly all weekend (without the need to reload their guns). It ended successfully only when Tonto's gun misfired and struck a container of coal oil inside the bank where the bankers had fled from the hail of bullets.

The huge bank burned to the ground - leaving the citizens no place to pursue their banking needs . Miraculously the bankers had survived, as the Lone Ranger never killed anybody, choosing to wound them instead.

The already outraged town citizens demanded that the bankers be hanged immediately and their bodies left on the scaffold "for all the world to see".

The Lone Ranger refused their demands stating, "I think these heartless villains have suffered enough", and he sent them packing out of town.

Unbeknownst to the citizens, after the bankers gratuitously turned over all of their holdings to "Rim Shot" allegedly to make amends, the two secretly wired their insurance company in New York and had the huge insurance proceeds from the fire forwarded to them at a secretly established branch office there.

Then the two whooped it up and celebrated their freedom and ill gained profits during their train ride East as they began their plans to form what turned out to be a very successful investment business in New York City.

However, even after receiving all of the worthless bank assets, the real "kick in the head" for the Rim Shot citizens, was never disclosed to them.

After making his usual pronouncement after a successful mission , "Tonto, it looks like our work is done here!", the soft hearted (and apparently soft headed) Lone Ranger surreptitiously reached into his poke and, unseen by the townies, privately gave the bankers (not the citizens) several of his priceless silver bullets - presumably for train fare .

He and Tonto then "Hi-Ho'd" it off into the sunset followed by several members of the Rim Shot symphony who were struggling to reproduce the William Tell overture on their dust covered instruments.

Weird story, right? I mean, if you've read this far, you can't be blamed for wondering what the moral to this sad tale could possibly be.

Ah so! You're in luck. We're about to tell you.

It's two centuries later now, and in keeping with the repeated Department Of Justice (DOJ) promise to us citizens to turn around the corruption in our financial system via the use of more stringent punishment of the miscreants, Attorney General Eric Holder, in his infinite wisdom, recently made an announcement:

He slammed the banking and investment firm Citigroup (not to be confused with Sydney/Grope) about a week ago. He accused them of hiding information about toxic mortgages after Citi, the worlds largest bank, agreed to pay $7 billion to settle charges tied to the global financial crisis that rocked the world six years ago."

Perhaps, most of us now dutifully shaking our collective heads in the affirmative, like the poor folks of "Rim Shot" - last seen in the town square muttering  about bankers Sydney/Grope, "that'll learn em!" -  the irony of the DOJ's actions hadn't really settled in for us yet.

Perhaps that's just as well.

You see, unlike our old time Westerns story above, there really is a guy named Dennis Kelleher today, and he has made some more relevent comments about Citigroup, the D.O.J. and the now infamous settlement. Denny is the CEO of an interest advocacy group, entitled "Better Markets" and, who loudly "bashed" the deal.
 
Kelleher did this despite the widely and presumably grateful publicized reaction to the words of our "A.G" Holder, and his revelatory statements regarding Citigroup's knowledge of the serious and widespread defects of the risky loans that the lender and it's employees concealed.

In his speech Holder also acknowledged: "Citigroup increased it's profits at the expense of millions of ordinary Americans and investors of all types. Then he confided to us, "Ultimately these investors suffered billions of dollars in losses when Citi's false and fraudulent claims came crashing down!"

He must have been right because, in reaction to the gigundous penalty handed down from the D.O.J, Citigroup CEO Michael Corbe said, "The settlement allows us to move forward and focus on the future - NOT the past"

Okay, enough already. But, what did Dennis Kelleher, the only guy who seems to have a grasp on what really just went down, have to say?

"DOJ brags about and wants everyone to focus on the $7 billion settlement dollar amount, but that amount is meaningless without disclosure of the key information about:

How many hundreds of billions of dollars Citigroup made.
How many tens of billions investors lost.
How many billions in bonuses were pocketed.
Which investors were involved, and,
What positions they now have with the bank."

It is truly interesting to note A.G Holder also didn't relate which Citigroup folks ended up in the "hoosegow" - or what they were planning to do with their "silver bullets", either!



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NATURAL SELECTION - A POSITIVE SPIN

Recently, my favorite blogger, Harry (http://harry2335.blogspot.com) sent along an important e-mail - about the relative merits of drinking beer.

I believe I may have seen it before - but I also believe I took geometry in high school - and recall little that I read of that as well.

I do remember my teacher,Mr. Glessner, and his pithy sayings like, "Many hands make light work" - but, then again, that might have been Holly Hobbie.

While sitting at PNC Park in Pittsburgh in my First Base box seat - with a direct line from First Base to Third - courtesy of my Fathers Day gift from oldest son Bruce and wife Patty, I was amazed at all the activity taking place off the field.

The beer vendors were going nuts. They all had their own unique patter accompanied by the loud and familiar cheerful declaration  -  "Beer Here".

Pittsburgers love their beer.

One might conclude there were more purveyors of beer than there were fans sitting in the right field stands. Then again, I'm much more accustomed to sitting at that location than field level box seats.

Apparently, the conclusion of the vendors is that there are many more fans in the upgraded section who can afford the $9 beers offered up in those tiny cups.

So why so many beer drinkers?

Harry's e-mail seems to answer that question quite well:

"One night at Cheers, the famous bar, Postman Cliff Clavin said to his buddy, Norm Peterson: 'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this . . . . a herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.Therefore, when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But, naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

It's only natural.

("Beer, helping ugly people have sex since 3000 BC!" - W.C. Fields)

PET PEEVES

One of my biggest "pet peeves" is the number of folks who commit so-called "white collar" crimes - and never do any jailtime.

My next vexation is; while this disproportionate punishment that is being meted out continues to grow like an epidemic, I am puzzled why so many people are still asking "What's wrong with this country and why do we have so many people cheating and lying?"

When travelling around doing my "dog and  pony" show back in the 90's - talking about business ethics in the insurance industry, I was often faced with the question: "Are we more unethical as a society than we used to be?"

The too easy answer was, "There's not more unethical behavior - just more people". I chose to believe it was much more effective to bounce the question back to my audience, to generate some discussion and hear and see what they thought.

The results were interesting.

Similar to the responses to ethical questions I posed  in the "A Question of Ethics" column I edited, I was amazed by the contrast out there as to what people had decided "now' constituted acceptable behavior.

And that was almost 20 years ago.

Please believe me when I say I no more thought of myself  as the "arbiter of right and wrong" back then, than  I do now. I am much more curious as to what others think about the subject.

Despite that admission, and while having no desire to be your favorite naysayer in the present, I'm concerned there is little in our current times to suggest a positive ethical change is taking place.

We continue to hear and read about some truly outrageous behavior in both business and the military.

Some blame the trend of increased unethical behavior on the inequitable accumulation of power and wealth we are experiencing. They also say that along with that comes an assumption the rules for you and me don't apply to them.

Perhaps they're right.

My most recent reference is taken from a story in the USA Today about Brigadier Army General Jeffrey Sinclair who reportedly cut a plea deal with prosecutors over extramarital affairs he had with subordinates, one of whom accused him of sexual assault - and then allegedly threatening to kill her.

His deal included a $20,000 fine - but he avoided a jail term - and therein lies the foundation of my premise.

What exactly was the leverage in his plea deal? Was it that Sinclair was possibly going to reveal several other highly placed military brass who had committed more serious crimes? Was it his threat to name names?

We'll probably never know, just as we may never know how other high ranking military personnel and ( titans of industry as well) amazingly avoid jail time,  despite being accused of committing despicable acts that have affected so many of us - in so many ways.

Let's face it. At the same time we have the contrast of "mere mortals" who are caught up in our "justice" system and are receiving 3 to 5 years hard time for selling a nickel bag of pot, many others, in a position of authority, and found guilty of much more serious crimes, are going scott free.

Is it because we are dealing with a domino effect wherein too many of us appear to have become enured to the tawdry behavior by a priviledged few and simply conclude: "It's just boys being boys - and it's been going on for years"?

So has Cancer! But, we seem to be making progress.

Whatever happened to the former popular guiding moral principle: "If you do the crime - you do the time?" Did it go the same way as "The Golden Rule"?

I believe people empowered to do so truly need to re-examine our legal system in this country and determine what messages we're sending to a lot of fertile minds in their formative years.

Let's do it before it's too late for that next generation - many of whom are going to be calling the shots that impact our kids and grandkids.

Then let's extrapolate those conclusions from the legal system analysis as to how we are handling so-called adult "white collar" crime, reignite our understanding of the simple concept of cause and effect, and get this country back on track.

Please consider my conclusion that this issue is important enough to be elevated from just a "pet peeve" by some old blogger to the status of a huge problem well worth our national concern.

But, you decide.

Twelve Steps & More

The unsolicited giving of  self-help messages seems to have increased lately, and as Martha S  likes to say, "that's a good thing."

Sometimes we need reminders as we all have bad days - or sometimes a sequence of same.

I recently read a survey of people asking, "If you could change the world what would you do?"

Some of the replies were interesting.

My favorite response was, "First I'd like to figure out how to remove those !@#$%^  thick plastic clam shell wrappers that all the manufacturers seem enthralled with. Then I'd love to come up with a cure for world hunger."

See, we all need priorities.

I agree. It's not that we don't care about the really serious issues featured on the editorial pages. It's just that it's the day-to-day frustrations that can ruin it for all of us - if we let them.

My daughter Beth sent along a self- help guideline thing entitled "12 steps" that may aid our curative process:

1.   If it feels wrong, don't do it.
2.   Say "exactly" what you mean.
3.   Don't be a people pleaser.
4.   Trust your instincts.
5.   Never speak bad about yourself.
6.   Never give up on your dreams.
7.   Don't be afraid to say "NO."
8.   Don't be afraid to say "YES."
9.   Be KIND to yourself.
10. Let go of what you can't control.
11. Stay away from drama and negativity.
12. LOVE.

Number 10 sort of reminds me of the Serenity Prayer that has often been a real lifesaver for me.

So, if I'm reading the 12 steps correctly , the next time you get one of those "clam shell" wrappings - feel free to take a chainsaw to it.

Then place all the pieces and your receipt neatly in your Wal-Mart bag and return it. Explain what happened. I'm sure they'll give you back your money -  and may even throw in a new blade.

We've all been there.