NATURAL SELECTION - A POSITIVE SPIN

Recently, my favorite blogger, Harry (http://harry2335.blogspot.com) sent along an important e-mail - about the relative merits of drinking beer.

I believe I may have seen it before - but I also believe I took geometry in high school - and recall little that I read of that as well.

I do remember my teacher,Mr. Glessner, and his pithy sayings like, "Many hands make light work" - but, then again, that might have been Holly Hobbie.

While sitting at PNC Park in Pittsburgh in my First Base box seat - with a direct line from First Base to Third - courtesy of my Fathers Day gift from oldest son Bruce and wife Patty, I was amazed at all the activity taking place off the field.

The beer vendors were going nuts. They all had their own unique patter accompanied by the loud and familiar cheerful declaration  -  "Beer Here".

Pittsburgers love their beer.

One might conclude there were more purveyors of beer than there were fans sitting in the right field stands. Then again, I'm much more accustomed to sitting at that location than field level box seats.

Apparently, the conclusion of the vendors is that there are many more fans in the upgraded section who can afford the $9 beers offered up in those tiny cups.

So why so many beer drinkers?

Harry's e-mail seems to answer that question quite well:

"One night at Cheers, the famous bar, Postman Cliff Clavin said to his buddy, Norm Peterson: 'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this . . . . a herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.Therefore, when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.

This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But, naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

It's only natural.

("Beer, helping ugly people have sex since 3000 BC!" - W.C. Fields)