THE LOST GENERATION

We seniors have become the "lost generation". We didn't intend it to end that way.

In the last three weeks my wife and I have lost a money clip, a credit card, and a checkbook. Today we lost the dog -  in the house.

It is kind for folks to say, "You didn't lose them, you misplaced them." It's also kind of people to say, "You're not fat - you're fluffy."

Truth be known, since becoming a senior I've lost many things - only a few that I've recovered as Blanche Dubois would say, "through the kindness of strangers."

I've discovered there are a lot of honest people down here who continue to turn in - untouched - my material possessions. Most of these losses were due to my fondness of wearing my shallow pocket Nike basketball shorts.

There are some things we can do to avoid a loss - or even being lost. The GPS helps. Even movies. Since watching Henry Fonda in Golden Pond I have never again walked in the woods by myself.

To avoid losing the car, I now make it a point when entering a large shopping mall with several entrances and exits to memorize the display as we enter the store. I also store my computer passwords in a convenient location that I sometimes remember.

I have even convinced my petite wife of the wisdom in her carrying a six foot flag when we go shopping so I can see her over the  high shelves. Many a time we've located each other by the use of our cellphones, unless, of course, I forget to get mine out of our car.

You may laugh at the shopping center example but one get's tired of going back out to the car to see if she got frustrated at searching for me - checked out - and is now sitting in the cool air-conditioning with the dog while she awaits my return from God knows where.

I'm still looking for that "perfect" clapper for my car keys and my cellphone. Yeah, it's great to just dial my cell number from another phone -  but I often forget the number.

The cushions on my couch and recliners have been turned over more frequently than my dear Irish mother in her grave.

I've lost some of my hair, most of my teeth, a high percentage of my hearing, and the ability to go and return from the restaurant bathroom in under 5 minutes.

Sadly, what I haven't lost is those extra pounds, my need for shoes with Dr. Scholl inserts, and my overwhelming insistance on using my dry irish humor in the middle of conversations. This leaves most people, friends as well as strangers, with a puzzled look on their face or their mouth hanging open.

My greatest "lost' concern is that, despite all my precautions, I fear I'm losing my mind.

Fellow seniors - feel free to join me.