How many times after being verbally skewered by someone before they left the room did you comment to yourself,"!@#$, I wish I had said this in reply".
That's repartee - and we've all been there. Here's some folks who seemingly avoided our embarassment:
WINSTON CHURCHILL:
British MP: "Mr. Churchill, must you fall asleep while I'm speaking?"
Churchill: "No, it's purely voluntary."
Lady Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee."
Churchill: "Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."
CALVIN COOLIDGE:
Woman: "Mr. Coolidge, I've made a bet against a fellow who said it was impossible to get more than two words out of you."
Coolidge: "You lose."
COOLIDGE vs a lady at a White house Dinner:
Lady:"What do you think of the singers execution?"
Coolidge: "I'm all for it."
THOMAS REED VS HENRY CLAY:
Clay: "I would rather be right than be President."
Reed: "The gentleman need not trouble himself. He'll never be either."
CLAY VS MASS SENATOR DANIEL WEBSTER after seeing a pack of
mules walk by:"
Webster: "There goes a number of your Kentucky constituents".
Clay: "Yes, they must be on their way to Massachusetts to teach
school."
NY Mayor ED KOCH vs a reporter who insisted upon pressing a
point about an inconsistent statement Koch had made.
"I can explain it to you; I can't comprehend it for you."
ABE LINCOLN TO STEPHEN DOUGHLAS WHO CALLED Abe "two-faced":
"I leave it to my audience, If I had another face, do you think
I would wear this one?"
ACTRESS MIRIAM HOPKINS AND A ANONYMOUS SINGER:
Singer: "You know, my dear, I insured my voice for $50,000."
Hopkins: "That's wonderful. And, what did you do with the money?"
BILL CLINTON VS DAN QUAYLE - after Quayle revealed that he planned to be a 'pit bull' in the 1992 campaign against Clinton & Gore:
Clinton: "That's got every fire hydrant in America worried."
PHILOSOPHER PERICLES AND A YOUNGER RIVAL ALCIBADES:
Pericles: " When I was your age, Alcibiades, I talked just the way
you are now talking."
Alcibiades "If only I had known you, Pericles, when you were at
your best."
REVEREND EDWARD EVERETT HALE VS THE U.S. SENATE - when asked if he prayed for the Senators (many years ago.):
HALE: "No, I look at the Senators and pray for the country."
Some things never change - just the repartee.
LET US PRAY!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
TRULY: DIS N DAT
Money isn't everything - but it ranks right up there with oxygen.
The other side: "I used to sell furniture for a living, it was my own.- Len Dawson.
There is nothing more miserable than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
"I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry." - Norman Wisdom
The DNA of humans is closer to a rat than a cat.
"Divide each difficulty into as many parts as is feasible and necessary to resolve it." - Rene Descartes
When Ian Fleming was looking fo a name for his hero-spy, he found it on the cover of a coffee table book entitled "Birds of the West Indies" written by ornithologist - James Bond.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men (Isn't a lot of blinking supposedly associated with something bad?")
The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one often comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't.
"It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man" - H.L. Mencken.
George Washington grew hemp in his garden. (you go, George)
"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk." - Rita Rudner
In 1980, Saddam Hussein received a key to the city of Detroit.(Thus the automakers decision to develop keyless entry?)
Only female mosquitos bite humans.
If a man is born in Nova Scotia, grows up in Manitoba, and dies in Alberta, what is he? (most likely dead)
If a bird is flying for pleasure, it flies with the wind, but if it meets danger, it turns and faces the wind, in order that it may rise higher. (Send that one to your least favorite and obstinate politician)
When the Jones family moved into their new house, a relative asked five-year-old Sammy how he liked the new place. "It's terrific", he said. "I have my own room. Mike has his own room and Jamie has her own room. But poor mom is still in with dad."(Ahh, to be five again).
"Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug" John Lithrow
One of my favorite cartoons shows Adam & Eve exiting the Garden of Eden. Both of them are wearing foilage for clothing. Adam has a back pack and is carrying a picnic basket.Eve's got a pull along suitcase, and a shopping bag.
Above the couple is God's large hand - finger extended downward at them from the clouds - as a indiction of his banishment.
The caption has Eve telling Adam:"You had to write a blog about it!"
(It's also one of my wife's favorite cartoons).
The other side: "I used to sell furniture for a living, it was my own.- Len Dawson.
There is nothing more miserable than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
"I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry." - Norman Wisdom
The DNA of humans is closer to a rat than a cat.
"Divide each difficulty into as many parts as is feasible and necessary to resolve it." - Rene Descartes
When Ian Fleming was looking fo a name for his hero-spy, he found it on the cover of a coffee table book entitled "Birds of the West Indies" written by ornithologist - James Bond.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men (Isn't a lot of blinking supposedly associated with something bad?")
The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one often comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't.
"It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man" - H.L. Mencken.
George Washington grew hemp in his garden. (you go, George)
"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk." - Rita Rudner
In 1980, Saddam Hussein received a key to the city of Detroit.(Thus the automakers decision to develop keyless entry?)
Only female mosquitos bite humans.
If a man is born in Nova Scotia, grows up in Manitoba, and dies in Alberta, what is he? (most likely dead)
If a bird is flying for pleasure, it flies with the wind, but if it meets danger, it turns and faces the wind, in order that it may rise higher. (Send that one to your least favorite and obstinate politician)
When the Jones family moved into their new house, a relative asked five-year-old Sammy how he liked the new place. "It's terrific", he said. "I have my own room. Mike has his own room and Jamie has her own room. But poor mom is still in with dad."(Ahh, to be five again).
"Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug" John Lithrow
One of my favorite cartoons shows Adam & Eve exiting the Garden of Eden. Both of them are wearing foilage for clothing. Adam has a back pack and is carrying a picnic basket.Eve's got a pull along suitcase, and a shopping bag.
Above the couple is God's large hand - finger extended downward at them from the clouds - as a indiction of his banishment.
The caption has Eve telling Adam:"You had to write a blog about it!"
(It's also one of my wife's favorite cartoons).
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
WHILE LISTENING
While listening to a great composite CD recently received, here are a few humble observations.
I won't reveal the subject matter as I fear you'll close the blog and rush to open the spam instructing us as to how we can spy on our kids. But, please stick with me here.
Previous blogs have addressed the "incredible world of statistics" and my experience with the college courses so named.
My first exposure to same was when I was struggling to grab that elusive piece of parchment that was guaranteed to lead me on the way to fame and fortune.
I belatedly discovered I lacked one course to graduate. That course was statistics 101 - a two semester course.
In my infinite youthful wisdom at the time I had somehow managed to complete my struggles through the second semester part - but, had never enrolled for the first semester of the course.
The statistics professor, patiently - and not without appropriate amusement - listened to me pleading my case to have the first part waived. However, in so doing it became obvious he appeared not to comprehend my desperate need to graduate and grasp that promised golden ring.
Perhaps it had something to do with his review of my previous struggle with the second semester part of his course and my final grade. He turned an almost deaf ear to my pleadings.
However, he promised me that if I attended every class my final semester he would award me at least a "D" grade - so I could begin my promised journey down the yellow brick road.
Both of us were true to our word. As promised,I fearlessly entered the world of permutations, combinations, and probabilities.
About 25 years later - after enrolling in the Masters program at the same university - dedicated to receiving no grade lower than "A" - I discovered the awarding of my degree included a demonstration of my mastery of Graduate statistics.
My first stop was at the Men's room.
Then (again) , I went to my NEW statistics professor and confessed I had no clue as to what it was he was teaching. After listening to my sad story his only fatherly advice was, "Stick to it and you are going to be pleasantly surprised."
He was right! I became fascinated by my "new world of statistics", which he had carefully plotted during those early classes. I'm proud to say my grade was an "A" and it was earned honestly.
The man had a gift as an instructor and also as the author of a well respected book on the subject of statistics. More impressive was that there was no accompanying requirement to purchase his book.
Yeah, we had yet another paper to complete but it was on a statistical subject of our choosing. It had to include detailed graphs, numerous footnotes and the requirement that we must prove our conclusions.
I loved it. The course was fascinating and perhaps the most enjoyable one I had experienced at both educational levels.
We took actual published statistical studies and broke down the author's conclusions as we explored the flawed world of statistical studies.
I remain convinced that it should have been a required subject for undergraduate studies as well.
We are fascinated by all the statistics we hear or about which we read. They claim to have made an infallible conclusion as to which foods are good for us, the current demographics of population diversity, their conclusive projections as to weather, the economy, the unemplyment in 2013, and even who will win the Super Bowl.
There is a reason that some of us still wrap our garbage in newspapers.
I refuse to accept the latest "no question" published statistical studies on nutrition until I run across one praising the health and life extending benefits of hot fudge sundaes.
Then, and only then, may I become a true believer.
The front page of this morning's USA Today contained the results of a recent political survey. Much was made as to the results of the survey of 808 cooperative folks.
Details of the makeup of the population surveyed, whether they were gainfully employed, the actual phrasing of questions posed, our possible curiosity as to why the numbers did not add up to 100% (easily explained) and several other variables bound to appeal to even the least casual fan of statistics were not explained to us.
What WAS being touted as newsworthy was the statistical differences between the possible candidates should they be the actual opponents in November.
The results of the comparative survey was allegedly to determine who we were most likely to vote for in November.
The conclusion was, in a race between Romney and Obama -the "prez"would receive 46% and the former governor of Mass. 50% - a difference of "4%".
Should the participants be Obama and Santorum, the results would be Obama: 49% and the proliferate spender from Penna: 48% - a difference of just 1%.
It was only in the fine print at the end of the inset revealing the results that it was revealed the margin of error was "plus or minus 4% points' It could be off by as much as 4 percentage points either way.
If we accomplish nothing else in the education and raising of our kids - it is imperative we teach them to read critically.
And, along the way, we might learn something ourselves.
I won't reveal the subject matter as I fear you'll close the blog and rush to open the spam instructing us as to how we can spy on our kids. But, please stick with me here.
Previous blogs have addressed the "incredible world of statistics" and my experience with the college courses so named.
My first exposure to same was when I was struggling to grab that elusive piece of parchment that was guaranteed to lead me on the way to fame and fortune.
I belatedly discovered I lacked one course to graduate. That course was statistics 101 - a two semester course.
In my infinite youthful wisdom at the time I had somehow managed to complete my struggles through the second semester part - but, had never enrolled for the first semester of the course.
The statistics professor, patiently - and not without appropriate amusement - listened to me pleading my case to have the first part waived. However, in so doing it became obvious he appeared not to comprehend my desperate need to graduate and grasp that promised golden ring.
Perhaps it had something to do with his review of my previous struggle with the second semester part of his course and my final grade. He turned an almost deaf ear to my pleadings.
However, he promised me that if I attended every class my final semester he would award me at least a "D" grade - so I could begin my promised journey down the yellow brick road.
Both of us were true to our word. As promised,I fearlessly entered the world of permutations, combinations, and probabilities.
About 25 years later - after enrolling in the Masters program at the same university - dedicated to receiving no grade lower than "A" - I discovered the awarding of my degree included a demonstration of my mastery of Graduate statistics.
My first stop was at the Men's room.
Then (again) , I went to my NEW statistics professor and confessed I had no clue as to what it was he was teaching. After listening to my sad story his only fatherly advice was, "Stick to it and you are going to be pleasantly surprised."
He was right! I became fascinated by my "new world of statistics", which he had carefully plotted during those early classes. I'm proud to say my grade was an "A" and it was earned honestly.
The man had a gift as an instructor and also as the author of a well respected book on the subject of statistics. More impressive was that there was no accompanying requirement to purchase his book.
Yeah, we had yet another paper to complete but it was on a statistical subject of our choosing. It had to include detailed graphs, numerous footnotes and the requirement that we must prove our conclusions.
I loved it. The course was fascinating and perhaps the most enjoyable one I had experienced at both educational levels.
We took actual published statistical studies and broke down the author's conclusions as we explored the flawed world of statistical studies.
I remain convinced that it should have been a required subject for undergraduate studies as well.
We are fascinated by all the statistics we hear or about which we read. They claim to have made an infallible conclusion as to which foods are good for us, the current demographics of population diversity, their conclusive projections as to weather, the economy, the unemplyment in 2013, and even who will win the Super Bowl.
There is a reason that some of us still wrap our garbage in newspapers.
I refuse to accept the latest "no question" published statistical studies on nutrition until I run across one praising the health and life extending benefits of hot fudge sundaes.
Then, and only then, may I become a true believer.
The front page of this morning's USA Today contained the results of a recent political survey. Much was made as to the results of the survey of 808 cooperative folks.
Details of the makeup of the population surveyed, whether they were gainfully employed, the actual phrasing of questions posed, our possible curiosity as to why the numbers did not add up to 100% (easily explained) and several other variables bound to appeal to even the least casual fan of statistics were not explained to us.
What WAS being touted as newsworthy was the statistical differences between the possible candidates should they be the actual opponents in November.
The results of the comparative survey was allegedly to determine who we were most likely to vote for in November.
The conclusion was, in a race between Romney and Obama -the "prez"would receive 46% and the former governor of Mass. 50% - a difference of "4%".
Should the participants be Obama and Santorum, the results would be Obama: 49% and the proliferate spender from Penna: 48% - a difference of just 1%.
It was only in the fine print at the end of the inset revealing the results that it was revealed the margin of error was "plus or minus 4% points' It could be off by as much as 4 percentage points either way.
If we accomplish nothing else in the education and raising of our kids - it is imperative we teach them to read critically.
And, along the way, we might learn something ourselves.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
BALL FOUR
There seems to be a lot of people sending some pretty funny stuff these days. Maybe it reflects the improving economy.
Here's one of my favorites - sent to me by our friend Karen Sutch:
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss the use of the car.
His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car."
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided to settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed you've been studying your Bible, but, I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut."
The boy thought for a moment and said, "I've been thinking about that and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair."
(You're going to love the Dad's reply!)
"Did you also notice they all walked everywhere?"
Have a great weekend.
Here's one of my favorites - sent to me by our friend Karen Sutch:
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss the use of the car.
His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car."
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided to settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed you've been studying your Bible, but, I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut."
The boy thought for a moment and said, "I've been thinking about that and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair."
(You're going to love the Dad's reply!)
"Did you also notice they all walked everywhere?"
Have a great weekend.
Friday, February 10, 2012
ONE HAS TO WONDER
One has to wonder. You have a professional baseball team about ready to start the season. You also have a professional football team.
Yet, when you access the primary Pittsburgh paper you can find hardly anything about the Pirates but avoid nothing that is Steelers related.
Perhaps the primary Pirates beat writer is on vacation in anticipation of another long and agonizing season.
One has to wonder if, as Sports Illustrated suggests, the Apocalypse is really almost here. And, that is not because a national rag sheet just promised us that this coming Valentine's Day kicks it off.(Hallmark is going nuts hurriedly printing up Apocalypse romance cards)
Please consider this:
A federal judge in San Diego (California, of course) dismissed a lawsuit filed by PETA (if you have to look it up "fageddaboutit")
seeking to grant constitutional protection against slavery to a group of killer whales that perform at SeaWorld parks.
The judge reasoned the 13th amendment apples only to humans.
He did so only after listening in court for two days over the possibility of granting constitutional rights for members of an animal species.
PETA attorney Jeffrey Kerr said the group does not plan to give up the fight to protect orcas but did not specify it's next action.
Before you sit back and relax in your easy chair please keep in mind that in 2010 our Supreme Court decided that corporations were (in effect) humans - with the same rights ascribed to them.
They could (groan) have a whale of a good time with this one too.
Also, please consider this as you ponder the above sign:
FEMA has decided to waive debts to Katrina victims in a sum reputed to be in the area of $385 million - or the amount of Mitt Romney's petty cash fund.
These debts are those for which allegedly undeserving folks received improper money from FEMA - apparently in FEMA's rush to get the money out to the alleged victims.
See? Before this you thought the problem with the Katrina aftermath was that FEMA was slow on the draw in making payments.Not true!
However, this is not a blanket waiver. To be eligible for this waiver one has to earn "less" than $90,000 a year and a FEMA error must have led to the improper payments you received.
Of course, one might reasonably wonder if FEMA had not made an improper payment would there really be a good reason to waive something or would there really be a debt owed.
However, keep in mind here we're talking about being on the cusp of an Apocalypse and there are a lot of vapors or mind bending rays already showing up in the atmosphere according to Klystrom sources.
C'mon now, calm down! Do you really think there are that many people living in New Orleans that would qualify?
Finally - and this sure beats the hell out of waiting in line at the dormitory post office hoping your best girl sent you a letter or Mom included chocolate chip or PB cookies in the clean laundry case she was returning.
Relax, the "hardship" situation previously facing we college students is over.
At least in Shippensburg - right down the road from our home in Harrisburg.
The news is that "Students at Shippensburg University in central PA can get the 'morning-after pill' by sliding $25 into a vending machine installed at the request of the student government."
Obviously, the SGA there is a branch of government supported by Tea Party activists - but, who would certainly have come in handy when the guys on my floor at Grove City were stealing Mom's cookies.
The Etter Health Center at "Shipp" a school of about 8300 enrollees provides the Plan B One Step emergency contraceptive along with condoms and decongestants. (Don't even get me started on why the latter is included - you bunch of "preverts")
The trick here is that to be eligible for this "Katrina like gift" you must be 17 years of age or older - despite not requiring a prescription to make the purchase.
And, they put people in jail for purchasing cigarettes or booze for a minor? Believe it,there's a high school pep rally in the making.
Well, let's just see them wait for a check at the dorm post office from the Susan Koman foundation. That ain't about to happen!
But, you "can" be sure that Obama will see to it the selection keys on the vending machine are well lit at night. You'd hate to see a potential supporter in the general election spend $25 bucks for a decongestant.
Finally, a federal grand jury has indicted a Romanian on charges he hacked into 25 climate-research computers at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena. (Yep, that's in California too)
The accused faces one count of "unauthorized impairment of a protected computer" for putting the computers out of commission for two months.
PETA, as you can imagine, is outraged with their members shouting: "What? The government protects computers but is unwilling to do anything for killer whales?".
The article did not make it clear if the accused was in Romania when he committed this crime or we should just assume that because he's of Romanian descent - he must be guilty of such a vituperative act!
See you in "Never-never land".
Yet, when you access the primary Pittsburgh paper you can find hardly anything about the Pirates but avoid nothing that is Steelers related.
Perhaps the primary Pirates beat writer is on vacation in anticipation of another long and agonizing season.
One has to wonder if, as Sports Illustrated suggests, the Apocalypse is really almost here. And, that is not because a national rag sheet just promised us that this coming Valentine's Day kicks it off.(Hallmark is going nuts hurriedly printing up Apocalypse romance cards)
Please consider this:
A federal judge in San Diego (California, of course) dismissed a lawsuit filed by PETA (if you have to look it up "fageddaboutit")
seeking to grant constitutional protection against slavery to a group of killer whales that perform at SeaWorld parks.
The judge reasoned the 13th amendment apples only to humans.
He did so only after listening in court for two days over the possibility of granting constitutional rights for members of an animal species.
PETA attorney Jeffrey Kerr said the group does not plan to give up the fight to protect orcas but did not specify it's next action.
Before you sit back and relax in your easy chair please keep in mind that in 2010 our Supreme Court decided that corporations were (in effect) humans - with the same rights ascribed to them.
They could (groan) have a whale of a good time with this one too.
Also, please consider this as you ponder the above sign:
FEMA has decided to waive debts to Katrina victims in a sum reputed to be in the area of $385 million - or the amount of Mitt Romney's petty cash fund.
These debts are those for which allegedly undeserving folks received improper money from FEMA - apparently in FEMA's rush to get the money out to the alleged victims.
See? Before this you thought the problem with the Katrina aftermath was that FEMA was slow on the draw in making payments.Not true!
However, this is not a blanket waiver. To be eligible for this waiver one has to earn "less" than $90,000 a year and a FEMA error must have led to the improper payments you received.
Of course, one might reasonably wonder if FEMA had not made an improper payment would there really be a good reason to waive something or would there really be a debt owed.
However, keep in mind here we're talking about being on the cusp of an Apocalypse and there are a lot of vapors or mind bending rays already showing up in the atmosphere according to Klystrom sources.
C'mon now, calm down! Do you really think there are that many people living in New Orleans that would qualify?
Finally - and this sure beats the hell out of waiting in line at the dormitory post office hoping your best girl sent you a letter or Mom included chocolate chip or PB cookies in the clean laundry case she was returning.
Relax, the "hardship" situation previously facing we college students is over.
At least in Shippensburg - right down the road from our home in Harrisburg.
The news is that "Students at Shippensburg University in central PA can get the 'morning-after pill' by sliding $25 into a vending machine installed at the request of the student government."
Obviously, the SGA there is a branch of government supported by Tea Party activists - but, who would certainly have come in handy when the guys on my floor at Grove City were stealing Mom's cookies.
The Etter Health Center at "Shipp" a school of about 8300 enrollees provides the Plan B One Step emergency contraceptive along with condoms and decongestants. (Don't even get me started on why the latter is included - you bunch of "preverts")
The trick here is that to be eligible for this "Katrina like gift" you must be 17 years of age or older - despite not requiring a prescription to make the purchase.
And, they put people in jail for purchasing cigarettes or booze for a minor? Believe it,there's a high school pep rally in the making.
Well, let's just see them wait for a check at the dorm post office from the Susan Koman foundation. That ain't about to happen!
But, you "can" be sure that Obama will see to it the selection keys on the vending machine are well lit at night. You'd hate to see a potential supporter in the general election spend $25 bucks for a decongestant.
Finally, a federal grand jury has indicted a Romanian on charges he hacked into 25 climate-research computers at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena. (Yep, that's in California too)
The accused faces one count of "unauthorized impairment of a protected computer" for putting the computers out of commission for two months.
PETA, as you can imagine, is outraged with their members shouting: "What? The government protects computers but is unwilling to do anything for killer whales?".
The article did not make it clear if the accused was in Romania when he committed this crime or we should just assume that because he's of Romanian descent - he must be guilty of such a vituperative act!
See you in "Never-never land".
Thursday, February 9, 2012
HAS TO BE A WAY
There has got to be a way to shove a towel - a set of shoulder pads - all the tape that has held him together physically - or whatever- into the huge mouth of #7 for the Steelers.
This is like watching the recently completed second season of the HBO series about the over egotistical pitcher seeking a comeback
There has to be huge curiosity out there as to whether or not they used Big Ben as a model.
What can be done for this doofus "emotionally" is completely another thing.
Just read his recent assessment of Offensive Coordinator Haley - whom he has yet to meet.
"I've gotten a lot calls, texts, and e-mails from people around the league, both good and bad about him - - - - and they're letting me know what their interaction with him was - good, bad and indifferent."."
Bad? Dude, I can't believe it. - "No !@#$%%^ way!" and believe it or not - HE'S YOUR BOSS!"
"Hey Pal, he was an NFL Football coach! Even the twins of positive personality - Coughlin and Belichick have their critics. Why in the name of everything that makes sense would you opt to start your relationship with him like this?
Each time Ben opens his mouth he validates Art Rooney's decision to "not" renew the contract of former offensive coordinator Ariens.
The latter apparently skipped Management 101. That's where they teach you - among many other topics - that you never want to get too close to those you are supervising.
And, we aren't talking about Dungee etc and Manning. They had a QB who was not a candidate to play the part of the scarecrow in the next remake of The Wizard Of Oz and was therefore capable of throwing away the playbook when needed.
(please cue up song, "If I only had a brain")
Whether Ariens wants to admit it - or not - the fact is that Ariens - not Rothlisberger was the OC in Big Ben's mind.
Ariens was - and is - a good offensive coordinator and Big Ben is- despite his many memory lapses- an excellent athlete.
It would appear that Rothlisberger - despite being bailed out too many times previously for his errors in judgment - needs someone - his agent - his friends - his PR guy - and/or most definitely, Haley to take this man/child behind the wood shed.
Ben is rapidly becoming an embarassment to an excellent team with a history of a "team' philosophy that is second to none.
And, as I write this, please trust me that my criticism has nothing to do with the Steelers inability to get into this most recent Super Bowl.
There are just too many variables to discuss on this topic and in this blog.The fact is - they just weren't good enough - and everything is being looked at by Steelers management and ownership.
Ben has been great but at some point the law of diminishing returns kicks in - and the sound of it approaching is becoming louder and louder.
Anybody who follows the sport and does so with even slight impartiality realizes that it's not only that the two most recent contesting teams could easily have been from different cities - but, so could have been the team attempting to swap spit with the Lombardi Trophy last Sunday night.
There "has to be a way" to convince Rothlisberger of this truism and also find a solution that will persuade him to either grow up - or move on down the road.
This is like watching the recently completed second season of the HBO series about the over egotistical pitcher seeking a comeback
There has to be huge curiosity out there as to whether or not they used Big Ben as a model.
What can be done for this doofus "emotionally" is completely another thing.
Just read his recent assessment of Offensive Coordinator Haley - whom he has yet to meet.
"I've gotten a lot calls, texts, and e-mails from people around the league, both good and bad about him - - - - and they're letting me know what their interaction with him was - good, bad and indifferent."."
Bad? Dude, I can't believe it. - "No !@#$%%^ way!" and believe it or not - HE'S YOUR BOSS!"
"Hey Pal, he was an NFL Football coach! Even the twins of positive personality - Coughlin and Belichick have their critics. Why in the name of everything that makes sense would you opt to start your relationship with him like this?
Each time Ben opens his mouth he validates Art Rooney's decision to "not" renew the contract of former offensive coordinator Ariens.
The latter apparently skipped Management 101. That's where they teach you - among many other topics - that you never want to get too close to those you are supervising.
And, we aren't talking about Dungee etc and Manning. They had a QB who was not a candidate to play the part of the scarecrow in the next remake of The Wizard Of Oz and was therefore capable of throwing away the playbook when needed.
(please cue up song, "If I only had a brain")
Whether Ariens wants to admit it - or not - the fact is that Ariens - not Rothlisberger was the OC in Big Ben's mind.
Ariens was - and is - a good offensive coordinator and Big Ben is- despite his many memory lapses- an excellent athlete.
It would appear that Rothlisberger - despite being bailed out too many times previously for his errors in judgment - needs someone - his agent - his friends - his PR guy - and/or most definitely, Haley to take this man/child behind the wood shed.
Ben is rapidly becoming an embarassment to an excellent team with a history of a "team' philosophy that is second to none.
And, as I write this, please trust me that my criticism has nothing to do with the Steelers inability to get into this most recent Super Bowl.
There are just too many variables to discuss on this topic and in this blog.The fact is - they just weren't good enough - and everything is being looked at by Steelers management and ownership.
Ben has been great but at some point the law of diminishing returns kicks in - and the sound of it approaching is becoming louder and louder.
Anybody who follows the sport and does so with even slight impartiality realizes that it's not only that the two most recent contesting teams could easily have been from different cities - but, so could have been the team attempting to swap spit with the Lombardi Trophy last Sunday night.
There "has to be a way" to convince Rothlisberger of this truism and also find a solution that will persuade him to either grow up - or move on down the road.
Monday, February 6, 2012
"TRULY" SUPER
This is being written before I allowed the audio/video/print media to tell me what they're sure I saw yesterday.
I accomplished this by turning off the TV last night in my third viewing location.
I did so immediately after Eli's acceptance of the MVP trophy with his appropriate follow-up comments following the usual inane questions and answers from both the announcers and the so -called "dignitaries".
Did Tisch really refer to the Giants coach as "Kauffman" or was I just tuckered out and/or a victim of over zealous Pinot Grigio consumption as I now recovered at home in my comfortable recliner?
Despite having access to two wide screen tv's in our home upon which we might have decided to comfortably watch the big game - we decided to go out.
By doing so we also managed to avoid participation or attendance at any of the many Super Bowl parties held in various residences. We were free to arrive and depart at our convenience. Plus, nobody took our seats when we went to the bathroom.
Our first destination was the pet friendly Firkins & Fox Restaurant
which is on Manatee Avenue a beach access road in Bradenton.
Here we could watch the game - hear the cheers and boos - but remain relatively disconnected.
We like and admire both teams but favored Eli Manning's Giants and ignored most of the comments from the New England resident seated beside us.
My wife's lack of interest in Tom Brady's Patriots appeared to be more closely related to his unwillingness to marry the first woman to whom he fathered a child - plus Tom's relatively stoic appearance coupled with the choice of clothing that adorned his coach.
Despite that - and having been a very successful athlete in her youth - while often playing sports in the shadow of an athletic older sister - Phyl knows more about football than just about any woman it's been my pleasure to meet.
Her disdain for the "B's duo" (Brady & Belichick) remained at game time despite the efforts of the PR people who had worked overtime to make both men appear to be more user friendly.
Quite frankly, I found much more believable the "relaxed intensity" of the "new" Tom Coughlin who admirably responded to the criticism of his former military bearing and treatment of his players.
Before going any further, let me address the old and often repeated question, "If you had one player to choose to start a professional football team - who would that be?"
My answer is simply: "Tom Brady."
I want to get this out of the way before the New York media - with whisps of white smoke pouring out of ESPN's chimney - proclaims Eli Manning is the next Pope.
We, "the titantic trio" -left during the second half as my wife was both tired and hungry for Casa Di Pizza's heavenly subs.
We were warmly greeted by Kevin - one of the owners from Buffalo who favor any team or substance "New Yorkish".
I lied to Kevin- to whom I explained that our arrival was based solely on our desire to discuss with him the Giant's "vaunted defense". This was shortly after Brady had completed 14 passes in a row.
While we enjoyed the brief wait for our subs and their four TV's, we admitted we were also rooting for "the Gints". Kevin's only response was "Anybody but the Patriots!".
If a college championship was decided in an elimination manner similar to that which led up to this final professional game, it is doubtful that anyone could dispute the right of both teams to be in this spectacular season finish.
Hopefully, the NCAA and greedy university presidents were paying attention.(or actually really cared)
Contrary to the predictions that this was going to be a high scoring game, it soon became obvious it was a battle of two great quarterbacks and their coaches.
The latter had previously worked together and really knew and understood both the game and their opponent.
Apparently their ony ignorance lies with their mysterious inability to distinguish between the numbers "11" and "12" when deciding how many players to send out onto the field.
This gaffe did not lessen our interest.
Now, a caveat.
Not sure I have the right guy here and don't want to look it up for reasons given above.
The numbers gaffe was certainly more palatable than Dan Patrick's(sic?) question of the now two-time Super Bowl and MVP quarterback winner: "What does it feel like to win in a stadium that your brother built?"
This would be after Eli had officially achieved one more Super Bowl victory than his commercially over exposed but likeable and more vivacious older brother.
Apparently Patrick (sic) has never had a competetive older sibling. Therefore, one assumes he also has no clue what a thrill it is for the younger sibling to surpass the other - particularly in a game for which they both excell.
Typical to his calm demeanor in taking apart the Patriots with his 30 of 40 completions for just shy of 300 yards, Eli, who directed the come from behind victory, simply responded, "It feels good anywhere you play."
Had the incredibly coordinated Ahmad Bradshaw not lost his balance and fallen into an almost empty end zone, the wild finish might have been only a dream.
Belichik's decision to allow Bradshaw to score almost uncontested in order to regain the ball most assuredly confirmed his coaching brillance.
Now, if he only could have suited up to attempt to catch the dropped desperation passes from his ace quarterback earlier and in the closing seconds.
Question: Did receiver Manningham obtain his surname before or after being created out of one of Eli's ribs? That was another great Super Bowl catch for which these contests have more than their share.
It was a game for which both QB's could be proud despite Brady's uninspired decision to throw the pass to Gronkowski that ended up in a interception by the Giant's Blackburn.
The 2 point "safety" for NY was also big.
It conceivably might have been avoided if, by given more time (which he wasn't), Brady was able to spot what I thought was a Patriots receiver down field to his right and closer to the sideline.
Brady did not choose to go in that direction - but elected the unoccupied middle of the field while still in the pocket - thus the safety.
Admittedly, I might have seen something that simply did not exist and now also now qualify as a "media expert."
But, to the victor goes the spoils.
So, while the media no doubt will be going nuts attempting to drive home what is sure to be their new found comparisons in the big game between Brady and Buffalo's ex-quarterback Kelly - let's bring this blog to a close.
Regardless of which team you were backing - or which team you supported during the regular season - if you're a professional football fan - you saw one helluva game yesterday.
Now, let's turn it over to "the experts" to tell you what you missed while mistakedly double-dipping the Doritos into the garbanzo bean salad bowl.
Congratulations Harry.
I accomplished this by turning off the TV last night in my third viewing location.
I did so immediately after Eli's acceptance of the MVP trophy with his appropriate follow-up comments following the usual inane questions and answers from both the announcers and the so -called "dignitaries".
Did Tisch really refer to the Giants coach as "Kauffman" or was I just tuckered out and/or a victim of over zealous Pinot Grigio consumption as I now recovered at home in my comfortable recliner?
Despite having access to two wide screen tv's in our home upon which we might have decided to comfortably watch the big game - we decided to go out.
By doing so we also managed to avoid participation or attendance at any of the many Super Bowl parties held in various residences. We were free to arrive and depart at our convenience. Plus, nobody took our seats when we went to the bathroom.
Our first destination was the pet friendly Firkins & Fox Restaurant
which is on Manatee Avenue a beach access road in Bradenton.
Here we could watch the game - hear the cheers and boos - but remain relatively disconnected.
We like and admire both teams but favored Eli Manning's Giants and ignored most of the comments from the New England resident seated beside us.
My wife's lack of interest in Tom Brady's Patriots appeared to be more closely related to his unwillingness to marry the first woman to whom he fathered a child - plus Tom's relatively stoic appearance coupled with the choice of clothing that adorned his coach.
Despite that - and having been a very successful athlete in her youth - while often playing sports in the shadow of an athletic older sister - Phyl knows more about football than just about any woman it's been my pleasure to meet.
Her disdain for the "B's duo" (Brady & Belichick) remained at game time despite the efforts of the PR people who had worked overtime to make both men appear to be more user friendly.
Quite frankly, I found much more believable the "relaxed intensity" of the "new" Tom Coughlin who admirably responded to the criticism of his former military bearing and treatment of his players.
Before going any further, let me address the old and often repeated question, "If you had one player to choose to start a professional football team - who would that be?"
My answer is simply: "Tom Brady."
I want to get this out of the way before the New York media - with whisps of white smoke pouring out of ESPN's chimney - proclaims Eli Manning is the next Pope.
We, "the titantic trio" -left during the second half as my wife was both tired and hungry for Casa Di Pizza's heavenly subs.
We were warmly greeted by Kevin - one of the owners from Buffalo who favor any team or substance "New Yorkish".
I lied to Kevin- to whom I explained that our arrival was based solely on our desire to discuss with him the Giant's "vaunted defense". This was shortly after Brady had completed 14 passes in a row.
While we enjoyed the brief wait for our subs and their four TV's, we admitted we were also rooting for "the Gints". Kevin's only response was "Anybody but the Patriots!".
If a college championship was decided in an elimination manner similar to that which led up to this final professional game, it is doubtful that anyone could dispute the right of both teams to be in this spectacular season finish.
Hopefully, the NCAA and greedy university presidents were paying attention.(or actually really cared)
Contrary to the predictions that this was going to be a high scoring game, it soon became obvious it was a battle of two great quarterbacks and their coaches.
The latter had previously worked together and really knew and understood both the game and their opponent.
Apparently their ony ignorance lies with their mysterious inability to distinguish between the numbers "11" and "12" when deciding how many players to send out onto the field.
This gaffe did not lessen our interest.
Now, a caveat.
Not sure I have the right guy here and don't want to look it up for reasons given above.
The numbers gaffe was certainly more palatable than Dan Patrick's(sic?) question of the now two-time Super Bowl and MVP quarterback winner: "What does it feel like to win in a stadium that your brother built?"
This would be after Eli had officially achieved one more Super Bowl victory than his commercially over exposed but likeable and more vivacious older brother.
Apparently Patrick (sic) has never had a competetive older sibling. Therefore, one assumes he also has no clue what a thrill it is for the younger sibling to surpass the other - particularly in a game for which they both excell.
Typical to his calm demeanor in taking apart the Patriots with his 30 of 40 completions for just shy of 300 yards, Eli, who directed the come from behind victory, simply responded, "It feels good anywhere you play."
Had the incredibly coordinated Ahmad Bradshaw not lost his balance and fallen into an almost empty end zone, the wild finish might have been only a dream.
Belichik's decision to allow Bradshaw to score almost uncontested in order to regain the ball most assuredly confirmed his coaching brillance.
Now, if he only could have suited up to attempt to catch the dropped desperation passes from his ace quarterback earlier and in the closing seconds.
Question: Did receiver Manningham obtain his surname before or after being created out of one of Eli's ribs? That was another great Super Bowl catch for which these contests have more than their share.
It was a game for which both QB's could be proud despite Brady's uninspired decision to throw the pass to Gronkowski that ended up in a interception by the Giant's Blackburn.
The 2 point "safety" for NY was also big.
It conceivably might have been avoided if, by given more time (which he wasn't), Brady was able to spot what I thought was a Patriots receiver down field to his right and closer to the sideline.
Brady did not choose to go in that direction - but elected the unoccupied middle of the field while still in the pocket - thus the safety.
Admittedly, I might have seen something that simply did not exist and now also now qualify as a "media expert."
But, to the victor goes the spoils.
So, while the media no doubt will be going nuts attempting to drive home what is sure to be their new found comparisons in the big game between Brady and Buffalo's ex-quarterback Kelly - let's bring this blog to a close.
Regardless of which team you were backing - or which team you supported during the regular season - if you're a professional football fan - you saw one helluva game yesterday.
Now, let's turn it over to "the experts" to tell you what you missed while mistakedly double-dipping the Doritos into the garbanzo bean salad bowl.
Congratulations Harry.
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