Don't know about you but, at this time of year a lot of nostalgic e-mails arrive on my computer.
One, involving Bob Hope's military base tours, and the Hollywood stars and G.I.'s rendition of the song Silent Night at the end of their performance left this old guy with a few tears.
Perhaps it was because of my memories watching them on TV as a kid and my becomiong overwhelmed by the reminiscience.
There were other nostalgic e-mails in my in-box. They were selectively sent on to friends of mine who also tend to pass along this kind of message.
By not doing so, there is an inherent, assumption - possibly wrong -that the sentiment or message will be lost on others - perhaps even resented by some.
In truth, my purpose in exporting similar messages is to demonstrate an awareness to do so with no attempt to proselytize, evangelize or antagonize.
Sadly, many of the more evangelical messages received here are accompanied by warnings - some might say threats - that appear to come right out of The Old Testament.
Perhaps that is why my reading of the New Testament has always been a little more uplifting - and promising.
Some suggest that my failure to forward their messages will result in dire consequences.
Some make it clear that my actions in "breaking the so-called chain" will assure me and mine that the "blue bird of happiness" will most likely never visit our home.
Worse is the innuendo suggesting a possibility more befitting Johnny Carson - that the bluebird may instead opt to "fly up my nose"; perhaps the true meaning of "getting the bird."
And, these are from my friends?
People have strong passions about "old" versus "new".
Many of the nostalgia framed E-mails at this time of year received by those of us with more than a few rings running inside our trunk, are those that speak of "the simple life" of our youth.
For the most part, we are fortunately spared the dark descriptive examples of the contrast with today's modern "evil" life.
My previous blogs have described (perhaps in way too much detail) my affinity for the "oldies."
Unfortunately, along with so many of the "oldies" e-mails (which I most often find delightful) is the implication that there are one helluva lot of senior citizens out there who are definitely disenchanted with their fate in life. I'm not among them.
My curiosity is whether they've ever taken the time to talk to the young folks of today - and listen (and listen only) to the memories they are making.
It's true the kids of today are probably not enjoying chocolate cigarettes, nor sweet juice in miniature plastic containers, nor possibly even prizes in their cereal boxes.
Neither are they receiving the rewards of chasing the Valley Dairy milkman's truck down Sumner Ave on a hot summer day for the sole purpose of receiving the largesse of his ice.
No. Now, many of them go into the cupboard for their multi color and flavored choice M & M's, mix their own sweet juice at the kitchen sink, or put their plastic Steeler cups under the ice maker on the refrigerator's front door.
however, they're also not working as 6, 7, or 8 year olds in hot factories hoping for wages of one or two pennies a day - nor shivering in fear of living the rest of their lives in an iron lung.
So, is the message, "stop sending me the nostalgic stuff"?
No, not at all. Perhaps, it's just, "enjoy those memories that mean so much to us - share them where appropriate - but, look at both sides of the mirror - the one that makes images smaller - and the side that magnifies them."
Yep, that's today's "oldies" message from this corner.
It's probably nothing original but something I picked up from my Mother.
It came with her personal assurance to us kids, who were either experiencing much frustration or disappointment: "Tomorrow's Another Day."
She was right!
Monday, December 26, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
DETERRENT?
Years ago I was involved with investigating insurance fraud.
One portion of my contribution consisted of an insurance agency Newsletter sent at the beginning of December to several of our agents. It was entitled,"Herbie wants to make a withdrawal".
The message was simple. It was a time of year when some of our policyholders clearly confused their whole life insurance policy with their other two policies - auto and homeowners.
The life policy had a cash withdrawal option. The other two policies did not.
Attempting to defeat fraud has many obstacles. One that stood out for me years ago was a tactic defense attorneys used successfully.
They convinced juries that any insurance department prevention unit - or insurance company subdivision - that included the word "fraud" in it's title forecasts a bad result.
The attorney argued that by retaining the word "Fraud" in it's title, those insurance people "are predisposed to suspect and and all citizens of being willing to commit a fraudulent act.
Therefore, they are guided accordingly by this bias with their subsequent investigations and false accusations of the average "Joe" -like his client (or like the jury members - one presumes)."
Yeah, it was shaky but the jury often bought it. There is a little larceny in most of us.One assumes there may have been one or more Herbies on the jury panels but,that's probably just "sour grapes."
The fact that "thee and me" would never have even contemplated making a fraudulent claim didn't matter much to the attorneys who were perpetrating the ruse and the insurance companies - once more -were perceived as the ultimate villain.
So, let me ask. What, if anything, would cause you to contemplate turning to the dark side?
There is an old joke about a prostitute and a prospective client.
The latter makes a ridiculously low offer for her services.
She responds by feigning indignation that he would think of her as a member of the oldest profession.
He then raises his previous offer of $100 for her services by asking her if she would join him for $10,000. Shocked as she may have been by this new offer, she somehow manages to agree.
He then handed her a $100 bill. She again responded with righteous indignation and demanded to know, "Hey, what do you think I am?"
He replied,"We both know what you are. We're just negotiating the price!"
So is insufficient money serve as a the deterrent to a "life of crime" or is it something even more basic?
The fraud prevention guys, who may or may not have been making real progress in their quest to defeat insurance fraud, came up with a new tact after sufficiently licking their wounds.
They started placing huge billboards along most well travelled roads and by-ways. Each contained a picture of a guy either behind bars or in handcuffs. The wording was simple, "Do you want your kids to see you like this?"
Some folks claim it was a great deterrent. Others were sure they knew the guy.
A woman advised me that she had two boys - one of whom hated receiving punishment for his misdeeds and therefore responded to "the good angel" on his shoulder.
The other son often weighed the punishment results versus the rewards of enjoying the fruits of his misdeeds, and decided accordingly based upon the two stimuli.
Unfortunately, that latter school of thought continues into adulthood - particularly when it comes to how we conduct our business.
It is sad -but true - that very little today will deter some folks from making horrible money driven corporate decisions -particularly if they do not fear the punishment, have great self-esteem and/or truly believe (like "the thinker" kid) the potential rewards exceed any punishment.
Fortunately, I also believe that for most of us, the thought that our son or daughter would see us on the next billboard is a boost in "doing the right thing " in our insurance fraud decision.
How can we transfer that billboard deterrent into something even more meaningful when the stakes are higher?
C'mon, let's face it, the paltry monetary rewards from insurance fraud most often pale in comparison to the financial rewards from a huge financial or safety related scam.
Here's part of the problem.
For some inexplicable reason, when it comes to the world of business - law makers and judicial experts have chosen not to use the deterrent of jail detention as a mean of combatting aberrant behavior.
Consider these examples.
"So far, not a single top executive of the mortgage companies, financial institutions or credit rating agencies that caused the 2008 meltdown, have been INDICTED, let alone SENT TO JAIL."
The same is true in four major mining disasters since 2001 in which 59 miners died."
The former CEO of Massey Energy,(the company who was held responsibile via a $209 million settlement for violations and the death of 29 men) has retired with a multimillion dollar pension and has recently surfaced as the owner of NEW mining company.
One reason for the lack of jail time for the executives whose companies committed safety violations as well as security fraud is that they are not "held to account" as their jobs allegedly keep them too far from the "action" ("They ain't 'doing the doing' argument".)
Whatever happened to the saying, "Not on my watch?"
Even the Supreme Court appears to have determined in the recent voter law arguments that "corporations are people - with the same protective rights"
I agree with the USA articles conclusion on the subject of deterrents:
"So, when irresponsible companies flout the law and create the conditions for disaster, the people involved should pay a price, preferably by going to prison."
I believe the conclusion should also apply to politicians no matter how liberal was the logic of "The Supremes" bunch they nominated.
If there were criminal prosecutions attached to the wrongful acts of people in charge there would be a reduction in the laissez-faire attitude of the miscreants.
Those comfortable attitudes would then be replaced by tight rearends as they sat behind the defense table or the witness stand
fearing the fate that they are facing.
Assume for a moment that many of those accused continue to maintain their musculature positions. Assume also they are convicted of their crimes - and the sentence pronounced by the judge mandates that it be carried out in the environment of the general male prison population.
Maybe we've finally found an answer in our quest for the ultimate "deterrent".
Forget those expensive billboards!
One portion of my contribution consisted of an insurance agency Newsletter sent at the beginning of December to several of our agents. It was entitled,"Herbie wants to make a withdrawal".
The message was simple. It was a time of year when some of our policyholders clearly confused their whole life insurance policy with their other two policies - auto and homeowners.
The life policy had a cash withdrawal option. The other two policies did not.
Attempting to defeat fraud has many obstacles. One that stood out for me years ago was a tactic defense attorneys used successfully.
They convinced juries that any insurance department prevention unit - or insurance company subdivision - that included the word "fraud" in it's title forecasts a bad result.
The attorney argued that by retaining the word "Fraud" in it's title, those insurance people "are predisposed to suspect and and all citizens of being willing to commit a fraudulent act.
Therefore, they are guided accordingly by this bias with their subsequent investigations and false accusations of the average "Joe" -like his client (or like the jury members - one presumes)."
Yeah, it was shaky but the jury often bought it. There is a little larceny in most of us.One assumes there may have been one or more Herbies on the jury panels but,that's probably just "sour grapes."
The fact that "thee and me" would never have even contemplated making a fraudulent claim didn't matter much to the attorneys who were perpetrating the ruse and the insurance companies - once more -were perceived as the ultimate villain.
So, let me ask. What, if anything, would cause you to contemplate turning to the dark side?
There is an old joke about a prostitute and a prospective client.
The latter makes a ridiculously low offer for her services.
She responds by feigning indignation that he would think of her as a member of the oldest profession.
He then raises his previous offer of $100 for her services by asking her if she would join him for $10,000. Shocked as she may have been by this new offer, she somehow manages to agree.
He then handed her a $100 bill. She again responded with righteous indignation and demanded to know, "Hey, what do you think I am?"
He replied,"We both know what you are. We're just negotiating the price!"
So is insufficient money serve as a the deterrent to a "life of crime" or is it something even more basic?
The fraud prevention guys, who may or may not have been making real progress in their quest to defeat insurance fraud, came up with a new tact after sufficiently licking their wounds.
They started placing huge billboards along most well travelled roads and by-ways. Each contained a picture of a guy either behind bars or in handcuffs. The wording was simple, "Do you want your kids to see you like this?"
Some folks claim it was a great deterrent. Others were sure they knew the guy.
A woman advised me that she had two boys - one of whom hated receiving punishment for his misdeeds and therefore responded to "the good angel" on his shoulder.
The other son often weighed the punishment results versus the rewards of enjoying the fruits of his misdeeds, and decided accordingly based upon the two stimuli.
Unfortunately, that latter school of thought continues into adulthood - particularly when it comes to how we conduct our business.
It is sad -but true - that very little today will deter some folks from making horrible money driven corporate decisions -particularly if they do not fear the punishment, have great self-esteem and/or truly believe (like "the thinker" kid) the potential rewards exceed any punishment.
Fortunately, I also believe that for most of us, the thought that our son or daughter would see us on the next billboard is a boost in "doing the right thing " in our insurance fraud decision.
How can we transfer that billboard deterrent into something even more meaningful when the stakes are higher?
C'mon, let's face it, the paltry monetary rewards from insurance fraud most often pale in comparison to the financial rewards from a huge financial or safety related scam.
Here's part of the problem.
For some inexplicable reason, when it comes to the world of business - law makers and judicial experts have chosen not to use the deterrent of jail detention as a mean of combatting aberrant behavior.
Consider these examples.
"So far, not a single top executive of the mortgage companies, financial institutions or credit rating agencies that caused the 2008 meltdown, have been INDICTED, let alone SENT TO JAIL."
The same is true in four major mining disasters since 2001 in which 59 miners died."
The former CEO of Massey Energy,(the company who was held responsibile via a $209 million settlement for violations and the death of 29 men) has retired with a multimillion dollar pension and has recently surfaced as the owner of NEW mining company.
One reason for the lack of jail time for the executives whose companies committed safety violations as well as security fraud is that they are not "held to account" as their jobs allegedly keep them too far from the "action" ("They ain't 'doing the doing' argument".)
Whatever happened to the saying, "Not on my watch?"
Even the Supreme Court appears to have determined in the recent voter law arguments that "corporations are people - with the same protective rights"
I agree with the USA articles conclusion on the subject of deterrents:
"So, when irresponsible companies flout the law and create the conditions for disaster, the people involved should pay a price, preferably by going to prison."
I believe the conclusion should also apply to politicians no matter how liberal was the logic of "The Supremes" bunch they nominated.
If there were criminal prosecutions attached to the wrongful acts of people in charge there would be a reduction in the laissez-faire attitude of the miscreants.
Those comfortable attitudes would then be replaced by tight rearends as they sat behind the defense table or the witness stand
fearing the fate that they are facing.
Assume for a moment that many of those accused continue to maintain their musculature positions. Assume also they are convicted of their crimes - and the sentence pronounced by the judge mandates that it be carried out in the environment of the general male prison population.
Maybe we've finally found an answer in our quest for the ultimate "deterrent".
Forget those expensive billboards!
Saturday, December 17, 2011
CHOICES
My blogs usually reflect sort of a balance sheet approach. It's not necessarily a permanent view - just kinda where I am then.
Some times it's in a place of anger. Sometimes it's just melancholia.
It's therapy just as are many of the choices we make each day - some good - some not-so-good.
After catching up with the sports columns in the Post-Gazette this morning, I puzzled over the choice recently made by Todd Graham, Pitt's less than one year tenured head football coach.
After making several promises to both the Pitt administration - and more importantly - his players - to build an elite football program Graham suddenly left the team to become Arizona State's head coach.
He announced his decision via an e-mail that he asked one of the team administrators to send on to the players.
To me that was not only a bad choice but one that was cowardly.
Graham claimed his choice in communication was dictated by circumstances surrounding his new team.
Yesterday, two of the Pittsburgh Steeler's safeties went into a basement room and proceeded to chat and sign footballs for kids - most living in poverty - as part of a program entitled "Dads Helping Dads" - a good choice.
Continuing my sports thoughts, I read the latest on the NFL's decision to refuse to change their mind on Steeler Linebacker James Harrison's decision to once more make yet another helmet to helmet hit, this time on Cleveland quarterback Colt McCoy who also will not take the field for his teams next game.
Whether it was a good or bad choice by the NFL to refuse James' one game suspension appeal would require the ability to replay the hit and see if McCoy did lower his helmet to avoid the hit - as alleged - or if McCoy even had time to make the choice.
Harrison's appeal was via a phone call. Maybe he had no choice.
His decision to make that hit cost him over $70,000 - one day's pay - and the loss of a valuable athlete to help the Steelers in their game against the 49'ers this Monday night.
Steeler Coach Mike Tomlin also is facing a choice - whether or not to play his star quarterback who is hobbled by yet another injury.
A professional football teams fortunes or misfortunes, while important at the time, will be forgotten down the road by probably even their most fanatical followers.Here's hoping Mike makes the right choice.
The NCAA recently made a choice not to allow winning high school basketball teams to play their championships in the home arenas of several high powered college basketball teams.
They said that it might unduly influence their decision as to where they would play college basketball down the road.
One has to assume that college recruiting trips by these same athletes to the many other schools vying for their talent do not include a glimpse of their facilities. Interesting choice.
Having finished the PG's electronic sport pages I retreated to our back porch with a cup of coffee and my current crutch du jour.
Seated there, I enjoyed the soft breeze - 80 degree weather, solitude, and the view of the beautiful island my wife Phyl designed and landscaped - including the fountain for which I campaigned mightily. Good choice.
Like just about all of those folks who occasionally peruse this blog, I have made some good choices and some that fall into the not-so-good category.
In my most introspective moments I am assured that some of those choices have hurt others, just as the choices of others have hurt me. Hopefully, I have done appropriate penance for my own actions and moved on. But, then again, that's my choice.
Ultimately, it's up to all of us to assess the choices we have made - or not if we believe those choices need revisiting.
Our choice of residence may have been guided by a desire to be close to family, the demands and/or availability of a job or just the normal creature comforts many seek. Some folks are not that privileged and have limited choices in that regard.
I'm convinced that any successful analysis of our choice resolution ultimately requires an examination of both head and heart and the use of a designed homeostatic process that is available for healing.
But, then again, that exam is our choice to pursue - or not.
I'm glad to have made my choice to reside on the Gulf coast of Florida with my wife Phyl and our Florida acquired miniature Chihuahu, Bella, to assist me with my occasional processing - and maybe even my tan.
So far - so good.
Some times it's in a place of anger. Sometimes it's just melancholia.
It's therapy just as are many of the choices we make each day - some good - some not-so-good.
After catching up with the sports columns in the Post-Gazette this morning, I puzzled over the choice recently made by Todd Graham, Pitt's less than one year tenured head football coach.
After making several promises to both the Pitt administration - and more importantly - his players - to build an elite football program Graham suddenly left the team to become Arizona State's head coach.
He announced his decision via an e-mail that he asked one of the team administrators to send on to the players.
To me that was not only a bad choice but one that was cowardly.
Graham claimed his choice in communication was dictated by circumstances surrounding his new team.
Yesterday, two of the Pittsburgh Steeler's safeties went into a basement room and proceeded to chat and sign footballs for kids - most living in poverty - as part of a program entitled "Dads Helping Dads" - a good choice.
Continuing my sports thoughts, I read the latest on the NFL's decision to refuse to change their mind on Steeler Linebacker James Harrison's decision to once more make yet another helmet to helmet hit, this time on Cleveland quarterback Colt McCoy who also will not take the field for his teams next game.
Whether it was a good or bad choice by the NFL to refuse James' one game suspension appeal would require the ability to replay the hit and see if McCoy did lower his helmet to avoid the hit - as alleged - or if McCoy even had time to make the choice.
Harrison's appeal was via a phone call. Maybe he had no choice.
His decision to make that hit cost him over $70,000 - one day's pay - and the loss of a valuable athlete to help the Steelers in their game against the 49'ers this Monday night.
Steeler Coach Mike Tomlin also is facing a choice - whether or not to play his star quarterback who is hobbled by yet another injury.
A professional football teams fortunes or misfortunes, while important at the time, will be forgotten down the road by probably even their most fanatical followers.Here's hoping Mike makes the right choice.
The NCAA recently made a choice not to allow winning high school basketball teams to play their championships in the home arenas of several high powered college basketball teams.
They said that it might unduly influence their decision as to where they would play college basketball down the road.
One has to assume that college recruiting trips by these same athletes to the many other schools vying for their talent do not include a glimpse of their facilities. Interesting choice.
Having finished the PG's electronic sport pages I retreated to our back porch with a cup of coffee and my current crutch du jour.
Seated there, I enjoyed the soft breeze - 80 degree weather, solitude, and the view of the beautiful island my wife Phyl designed and landscaped - including the fountain for which I campaigned mightily. Good choice.
Like just about all of those folks who occasionally peruse this blog, I have made some good choices and some that fall into the not-so-good category.
In my most introspective moments I am assured that some of those choices have hurt others, just as the choices of others have hurt me. Hopefully, I have done appropriate penance for my own actions and moved on. But, then again, that's my choice.
Ultimately, it's up to all of us to assess the choices we have made - or not if we believe those choices need revisiting.
Our choice of residence may have been guided by a desire to be close to family, the demands and/or availability of a job or just the normal creature comforts many seek. Some folks are not that privileged and have limited choices in that regard.
I'm convinced that any successful analysis of our choice resolution ultimately requires an examination of both head and heart and the use of a designed homeostatic process that is available for healing.
But, then again, that exam is our choice to pursue - or not.
I'm glad to have made my choice to reside on the Gulf coast of Florida with my wife Phyl and our Florida acquired miniature Chihuahu, Bella, to assist me with my occasional processing - and maybe even my tan.
So far - so good.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
SURPRISE!
Most people enjoy being surprised.
Being informed by a teenage son that he had just totalled out the new car is probably not among them.
Fortunately, I never endured such a surprise but, a son's decision to hold one of the biggest parties Penn Hills had ever experienced, while his parents were away, was not among my favorites.
Last nights misguided efforts of ESPN to contact all the known Heisman Trophy voters, to ascertain the recipient before the ceremony, was another "surprise" I couldn't support. By looking away from the restaurants TV screen and watching the show at home I was surprised.
I was not above providing surprises.
I once walked into my Mom & Dad's bedroom late one Friday night while they were sound asleep. I dumped our 4 young kids on them as I hastily explained their Mom and I were off on an impromtu weekend trip to New York with two or three other couples.
Dad said, "Have Fun!",(probably planning some retreats of his own that weekend) while Mom was busy looking for her rosary beads.
I've been fortunate enough to have been the recipient of a few surprise parties and had mixed reactions.It depended on my mood at the time.
One of my favorite surprise stories had to do with a cheating husband who, in order to relieve himself of his guilt, confessed to his wife that he had been sleeping with her best friend.
Her response was not so much surprise as an opportunity to respond with her own confession, "Now, that's irony. I've been sleeping with her husband for over 5 years - and he's a much better lover than you."
While attending a small employee Christmas party, the entertainment
that evening was a guy doing some amazing close up magic.I observed one of our female employees who kept looking away from the magician.
When asked about her supposed indifference she confessed, "I can't stand to watch that stuff because I don't know how it's being done."
Some people just don't like surprises.
A few moments ago I left my blogwriting as I remembered my unfulfilled promise to take our Chihuhua out for her morning constitutional. Walking down the hallway heading for the room that led to our our back yard I heard the loud rustling of paper.
To my surprise I discovered Bella, our normally well behaved dog, had pulled out and tore a bag of newspapers from the recyling bid.
Her goal was to retrieve my erroneously discarded aluminum foil pan formerly holding the remains of last nights take-out pasta.
I was surprised - but not angry - and didn't scold her. I was laughing too hard at this unusual act of mischief.
I'm sort of having the same reaction to Newt Gingrich's increased popularity in the polls - and laughing more than attempting to promote fear mongering like the media and his Republican opponents.
Yeah, it's a Lazarus like surprise - but one I can live with.
Most of my political observations will probably go into a mayonaise jar on Funk & Wagnals back porch.
Nobody comes up with well researched political surprises than my well informed pal, Harry, the self-described "Old Thinker".
You are encouraged to give his folksy blog a try:
http://harry2335.blogspot.com/
Being informed by a teenage son that he had just totalled out the new car is probably not among them.
Fortunately, I never endured such a surprise but, a son's decision to hold one of the biggest parties Penn Hills had ever experienced, while his parents were away, was not among my favorites.
Last nights misguided efforts of ESPN to contact all the known Heisman Trophy voters, to ascertain the recipient before the ceremony, was another "surprise" I couldn't support. By looking away from the restaurants TV screen and watching the show at home I was surprised.
I was not above providing surprises.
I once walked into my Mom & Dad's bedroom late one Friday night while they were sound asleep. I dumped our 4 young kids on them as I hastily explained their Mom and I were off on an impromtu weekend trip to New York with two or three other couples.
Dad said, "Have Fun!",(probably planning some retreats of his own that weekend) while Mom was busy looking for her rosary beads.
I've been fortunate enough to have been the recipient of a few surprise parties and had mixed reactions.It depended on my mood at the time.
One of my favorite surprise stories had to do with a cheating husband who, in order to relieve himself of his guilt, confessed to his wife that he had been sleeping with her best friend.
Her response was not so much surprise as an opportunity to respond with her own confession, "Now, that's irony. I've been sleeping with her husband for over 5 years - and he's a much better lover than you."
While attending a small employee Christmas party, the entertainment
that evening was a guy doing some amazing close up magic.I observed one of our female employees who kept looking away from the magician.
When asked about her supposed indifference she confessed, "I can't stand to watch that stuff because I don't know how it's being done."
Some people just don't like surprises.
A few moments ago I left my blogwriting as I remembered my unfulfilled promise to take our Chihuhua out for her morning constitutional. Walking down the hallway heading for the room that led to our our back yard I heard the loud rustling of paper.
To my surprise I discovered Bella, our normally well behaved dog, had pulled out and tore a bag of newspapers from the recyling bid.
Her goal was to retrieve my erroneously discarded aluminum foil pan formerly holding the remains of last nights take-out pasta.
I was surprised - but not angry - and didn't scold her. I was laughing too hard at this unusual act of mischief.
I'm sort of having the same reaction to Newt Gingrich's increased popularity in the polls - and laughing more than attempting to promote fear mongering like the media and his Republican opponents.
Yeah, it's a Lazarus like surprise - but one I can live with.
Most of my political observations will probably go into a mayonaise jar on Funk & Wagnals back porch.
Nobody comes up with well researched political surprises than my well informed pal, Harry, the self-described "Old Thinker".
You are encouraged to give his folksy blog a try:
http://harry2335.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
PITTSBURGH DAD
Daughter Beth sent an e-mail encouraging me to watch a series of short videos on You Tube entitled "Pittsburgh Dad".
My response to her, after watching a few, was "OMG - It's Me!".
It wasn't only me. It was probably just about every Dad I knew in Pittsburgh trying to raise kids in the 60's. All of us yelled at the kids for taking off their snow soaked winter clothes in the house vs the basement or garage.
Like most of us, I tried to emulate the child raising tactics of my parents, a choice I now wish I had abandoned earlier than I did.
A tragic event that occurred during those child raising days caused me to abandon the corporal punishment techniques that I emulated from my own youth.
Kid raising, at the time I was a young dad, seemed to center on telling the kids what they couldn't do vs what they were allowed to do.
It was sort of a shotgun approach designed to cover any misdeeds including those possible future transgressions I might not have become aware of.
This admonition was replete with a vivid description of what would happen should they opt to disobey coupled with many "time out" reminders.
Most of the time they obeyed. But I'm convinced they were secretly sneaking into the fridge and tasting "forbidden fruit" - my cold milk and ice water supply.
The sticky residue from the Frosted Flakes on the bottle or carton opening gave me the clue.
I was still stuck in the Wheaties, Cheerios, Kix, and Rice Crispies breakfast menu from when I was a kid, and wouldn't have eaten a sugar coated cereal flake on a dare.
I was strict, but flavored a lot of my semi-scolding with humorous lightly implied sarcastic remarks - something I have also observed in my kids as they raise my grandkids.
One of my favorite stories is when Bruce, my oldest, became upset with my strict child upbringing and decided to run away from home - in the middle of Winter -wearing only the light clothing he had on.
I soon received a call from a neighbor about three houses away. She wanted to warn me that Bruce was walking up the road ,in the snow, dressed only in what appeared to be his pajamas.
My reply didn't seem to do much to reassure her, "It's OK Mary Jo. Bruce is running away from home."
Not sure what humorous comment I greeted Bruce with - or if one was even attempted - when he pushed open the door shivering and with his head down.
I seem to recall when I lightly chastized him as to his decision making, he simply explained, "I changed my mind."
Any thought of punishment at that time would have been unforgiveable.
I've often commented that the toughest task I ever attempted was that of being a parent, because it takes so long to get your final grades.
Those grades keep coming in and,trust me, they are much better than those I received in my undergraduate days at Duquesne U.
Nowadays, the "Pittsburgh Dad" I recognize in my own kids appears to be a more gentle and kinder Dad than their old man, something I've commented about with pride in previous blogs.
However, after watching the YouTube videos, part of me still wants to relive my role as that all too familiar "Pittsburgh Dad".
My response to her, after watching a few, was "OMG - It's Me!".
It wasn't only me. It was probably just about every Dad I knew in Pittsburgh trying to raise kids in the 60's. All of us yelled at the kids for taking off their snow soaked winter clothes in the house vs the basement or garage.
Like most of us, I tried to emulate the child raising tactics of my parents, a choice I now wish I had abandoned earlier than I did.
A tragic event that occurred during those child raising days caused me to abandon the corporal punishment techniques that I emulated from my own youth.
Kid raising, at the time I was a young dad, seemed to center on telling the kids what they couldn't do vs what they were allowed to do.
It was sort of a shotgun approach designed to cover any misdeeds including those possible future transgressions I might not have become aware of.
This admonition was replete with a vivid description of what would happen should they opt to disobey coupled with many "time out" reminders.
Most of the time they obeyed. But I'm convinced they were secretly sneaking into the fridge and tasting "forbidden fruit" - my cold milk and ice water supply.
The sticky residue from the Frosted Flakes on the bottle or carton opening gave me the clue.
I was still stuck in the Wheaties, Cheerios, Kix, and Rice Crispies breakfast menu from when I was a kid, and wouldn't have eaten a sugar coated cereal flake on a dare.
I was strict, but flavored a lot of my semi-scolding with humorous lightly implied sarcastic remarks - something I have also observed in my kids as they raise my grandkids.
One of my favorite stories is when Bruce, my oldest, became upset with my strict child upbringing and decided to run away from home - in the middle of Winter -wearing only the light clothing he had on.
I soon received a call from a neighbor about three houses away. She wanted to warn me that Bruce was walking up the road ,in the snow, dressed only in what appeared to be his pajamas.
My reply didn't seem to do much to reassure her, "It's OK Mary Jo. Bruce is running away from home."
Not sure what humorous comment I greeted Bruce with - or if one was even attempted - when he pushed open the door shivering and with his head down.
I seem to recall when I lightly chastized him as to his decision making, he simply explained, "I changed my mind."
Any thought of punishment at that time would have been unforgiveable.
I've often commented that the toughest task I ever attempted was that of being a parent, because it takes so long to get your final grades.
Those grades keep coming in and,trust me, they are much better than those I received in my undergraduate days at Duquesne U.
Nowadays, the "Pittsburgh Dad" I recognize in my own kids appears to be a more gentle and kinder Dad than their old man, something I've commented about with pride in previous blogs.
However, after watching the YouTube videos, part of me still wants to relive my role as that all too familiar "Pittsburgh Dad".
Monday, December 5, 2011
"MONDAY MEANDERINGS?"
Recently, an e-mail arrived in the middle of my contemplation as to how to determine whether I'm in the Autumn or Winter of my Life.
The question was sent to me by a person whose intelligence and insightfulness I value. It was fun to address, and your response would also be greatly appreciated.
Meanwhile, another E-mail was received regarding the philosophy of Scientist (comedian)Steven Wright. His identity as a "scientist" may be questionable but his insight is not. Hope you agree.Some will be familiar.
Here are some of his scientific conclusions:
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
"Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back."
"Half the people you know are below average."
"99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
"82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot."
"A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory."
"If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain."
"All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand."
"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I almost had a psychic girlfriend .. but she left me before we met."
"OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
"How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?"
"If everything seems to be going well - you have obviously overlooked something."
"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm."
"When everything is coming your way - you're in the wrong lane."
"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy."
"Hard work pays off in the future - laziness pays off now."
"I intend to live forever - so far, so good."
"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
"What happens if you get scared to death twice?"
"My mechanic told me,'I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
"Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?"
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking."
"Experience is something that you don't get until just after you need it."
"The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread."
"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research."
"The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard."
"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up."
"The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it."
"Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film."
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
And the favorite of both the e-mail sender and myself:
"If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?"
Happy Monday
The question was sent to me by a person whose intelligence and insightfulness I value. It was fun to address, and your response would also be greatly appreciated.
Meanwhile, another E-mail was received regarding the philosophy of Scientist (comedian)Steven Wright. His identity as a "scientist" may be questionable but his insight is not. Hope you agree.Some will be familiar.
Here are some of his scientific conclusions:
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
"Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back."
"Half the people you know are below average."
"99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
"82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot."
"A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory."
"If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain."
"All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand."
"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I almost had a psychic girlfriend .. but she left me before we met."
"OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
"How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?"
"If everything seems to be going well - you have obviously overlooked something."
"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm."
"When everything is coming your way - you're in the wrong lane."
"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy."
"Hard work pays off in the future - laziness pays off now."
"I intend to live forever - so far, so good."
"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
"What happens if you get scared to death twice?"
"My mechanic told me,'I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
"Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?"
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking."
"Experience is something that you don't get until just after you need it."
"The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread."
"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research."
"The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard."
"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up."
"The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it."
"Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film."
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
And the favorite of both the e-mail sender and myself:
"If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?"
Happy Monday
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