IT HAPPENS

The blog title is a reference to, "Sometimes it happens that your side gets an extra turn at bat."

Such an occurence was an E-mail I received from Bank Of America after expressing by phone my disatisfaction to one of their customer relation practices. I suggested it was an example of providing "no service" at all.

It was neither a big deal nor as unappealing as ESPN insisting that what Joey Chestnut does should be considered a sport - as they kept reminding us by keeping it on a continuous loop the other day.

There are many things different in the South as represented by the State of Florida. One is what appears to be a rather lackadasical approach to customer service, as seen in one local bank.

But, that really wasn't my grievance - at first - during my latest customer relations episode with this rather large bank.

Now, to those of you who also bank with this organization and are pleased with it's services - you may really not want to read any further.

In preparing for the upcoming Pennsylvania trip it has been necessary to complete some financial transactions. In this instance I was attempting to communicate with the bank by phone.

Now, please keep in mind this is a huge financial institution that you would hope is furnishing us with the best customer service.

Taint so, Maghee.

My request was made on July 3, a Sunday, and involved my request to transfer some funds from a small flexible CD account to my checking account with the bank.

Now, before I go any further, I can already hear the wheels grinding in the mind of some bank "spindoctor" who would be saying: "What customer relations blunder? Do you realize how far we've come in providing service that your parents never had - the benefits of telephonic banking?"

Yes, that would be correct; however, they were also spared the non-personal experience of talking to a machine who couldn't understand their verbal responses, despite repeating their answers over and over.

You see, Mom & Dad interacted with neighbors and friends who were called "tellers", who actually "told" them what they needed to do, smiled at them, and asked about the kids.

These "tellers" were foolish enough to think they were providing good customer service.

You do remember "tellers - don't you. They were replaced by ATM's (plural) or at least just one - at my closest local branch; and it consistently runs out of money.

You can't deny the wisdom of ATM's - the greatest customer service advance. That would be before outsourcing the banks customer relations representatives with folks who can barely speak English and are located in countries you are hardpressed to find on a map.

Yeah, but remember, now you have 24 hour banking! Of course, that would not be true if you need the banks CD department on a Sunday - even if that Sunday is followed by a bank holiday.

Never on Sunday? I enjoyed the movie better.

So, how big a deal is it - you may ask. On the surface it's minor- but the banks - in fulfilling some executive's MBO (management by objective) promises - decided to send me an interactive E-mail asking me, "Tell us how you really feel about our bank?"

Yep, Our team got an extra at-bat.

My biggest challenge was to carefully separate my responses about my totally non-personal bank branch up by the Post Office so as not to smudge the "extra effort" displayed by a superior branch of the same institution down the road in a shopping center.

I wanted to clarify that the topic of the new movie "Horrible Bosses" is normally the result of a lousy theory "X" boss who may or may not be carrying out the dictates of their own bosses.

It appears the income of the higher up is directly tied in with how much he/she ignores lousy service at the branches under them; and if they can just pare costs down to the bone.

And, the guy or gal on the bottom wants to be elevated to that
higher position. So, it's a kind of business practice that just continues to feed on itself.

Think of this C/R snafu as when the Bank fired your favorite tellers - to install machines - and then penalizing you with fees and charges because you did what they asked you to do- "use them".

Well, as much as I enjoyed completing their survey, which I'm sure is now closely enjoying it's demise with some C/R's computer "delete" button; I was even more pleased to read in today's paper the following:

"Federal regulators will be able to take back pay from executives held responsible for a large bank's failure. Executives deemed 'negligent' and 'substantially responsible' can lose all compensation from the previous two years under a rule approved by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation. The rule is part of the financial overhaul tht Congress passed last summer."

Okay now, I really don't want to hear any response that suggests this will make the banks "friendly consumer service" even worse.

Nor, do I want to entertain thoughts that any member of Congress sitting on a banking committee is now eagerly selecting the location of a second or third vacation home; as they anticipate the monies pouring in from the lobbyists to try to eliminate or greatly modify the expressed desires of the F.D.I.C..

There was a bank in Harrisburg, Pa called "Commerce Bank." Among their services were:

"7 day lobby or drive-thru hours" even in Center City Philadelphia and Manhattan".

"Instant creation of ATM cards on the spot at the time of account opening."

"No overdraft fees on debit card usage."

"Free 'penny arcade' coin counting machines for BOTH customers and non-customers."

"No- Fee Visa Gift cards for customers."

Doomed to fail, right? Nope, that wasn't the goal. Service was!

In 2007 - three years after we moved here - Commerce was so successful it was purchased by Toronto-Dominion bank, which merged Commerce with TD Banknorth to form TD Bank. You may have seen Regis and Kelly doing their ads - emphasizing customer service.

The Commerce philosophy was that they were retailers - not bankers- and they went so far as to call their various locations stores - not branches.

Maybe, the ruling (if upheld) will get the Management at Bank of America to begin thinking again about providing good customer service.

Perhaps their goal will be to regain the customers they threw away with their perceived greed resulting in miserly CD & savings rates.

That would be despite having plenty of cash on hand courtesy of the government - and funded by you and me!

But yes, please feel free to join me at my home as I celebrate the ruling by eating 144 hotdogs in 1 1/2 minutes in my backyard vomitorium; thus creating an "ever new" sports record.

Hey, maybe "It Happens" - who knows?