SENIORS SENSE OF HUMOR

It is amazing to me that most of the really funny e-mail I receive comes from seniors.

That's not meant to be critical of other generations but, to point out most seniors are not afraid to make fun of themself and where they are in this chronological business of aging.

Take some excerpts from today's e-mail

Q: "Where can senior men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?"

A. Try a bookstore - under fiction.

Q: "How can I increase the heart rate of my over-60 year old mate?"

A. Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: "Why should 60-plus people use valet parking?"

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: "What can a man do while his wife is going through menapause?"

A. Keep busy. If handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When done, you have a place to live.

Q: "Someone told me menapause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true - where can I find it?"

A. Yes. Matthew 14:92 "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt.

Q: "How can I avoid that terrible curse of unsightly wrinkles?"

A: Take off your glasses.

Q. "Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?"

A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: "Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?"

A. Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?"

A. Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: What is the most common remark made by a 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?"

A. "Gosh, I remember all these!"

And these:

(1)"While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year old daughter on my afternoon rounds.

She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.

One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.

As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!"


(2) "I'm working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything will be perfect." - Doug Sanders


"Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug." - John Lithgow

TAKE TIME TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF.