OXYMORON'S et al

One of my favorite E-mails is that called "Oxymorons" and was recently sent to me by my brother and sister-in-law in Nebraska.

Today's blog will attempt to capture some of their more bizarre examples. We will also examine similar lifestyle examples in this Mad, Mad World of ours.

First, the funny stuff:

{1} WHY DO DO TUG BOATS PUSH THEIR BARGES?

{2} WHY DOES SLIM CHANCE AND FAT CHANCE MEAN THE SAME?

{3} If webster wrote the first dictionary - where did he find the words?

{4} DOESN'T "EXPECTING THE UNEXPECTED" MAKE THE UNEXPECTED EXPECTED?

{5} Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use em?


Those are some funny examples, but, there are other things in life more puzzling to this old guy:

Why do we continue to believe in many circles that if we just leave people alone they will do the right thing?

(1) I thought Greenspan was doing the right thing. Then he responded when questioned after the revelations of the worst financial fraud in history (on his watch) something that sounded like:"I really never thought they would do those things? "

Why? Did he forget the Savings & Loan disaster?

(2) A more recent example? A Federal appeals court decision ruled against the FCC regulations as to what constituted "expletives" on the airways, stating their definition of "indecency" was too vague.

Hopefully, the Court of Appeals included a less vague definition in their decision.

One brainiac who appeared to be supportive of the decision wrote in a Denver newspaper editorial: "We believe viewers will vote with their remote controls -- a message that revenue- hungry networks will get loud and clear - an approach focusing on individual control makes far more sense."

Ah yes, that's always worked before.

(3) A shrine to British killer Raoul Moat has sprung up on the riverside in the north English town of Rothbury where Bloat killed himself by shotgun after a 6 hour standoff with police.

So what is Moat's claim to fame? Well, he triggered Britain's largest manhunt after he injured his ex-girlfriend, executed her new boyfriend - and blasted an unarmed cop in the face.

The reason for the floral bouquets on the riverbank as well as the "gushing tributes"? Moat's supporters claim he should be celebrated for his "defiance of authority" and for taking revenge on the woman who left him for another man?

Who would want to argue? The woman must have been nuts to leave an arduous swain like this!

More Oxymorons:

WHY DO YOU PRESS HARDER ON A REMOTE CONTROL WHEN YOU KNOW THE BATTERIES ARE DEAD?

IF WORK IS SO TERRIFIC - WHY DO THEY HAVE TO PAY YOU TO DO IT?

HOW COME ABBREVIATED IS SUCH A LONG WORD?

(4) A 26 year old Oakland, California resident gunned down four police officers after being pulled over for a traffic violation in March 2009. (Read on, Tampa citizens)

According to a news release, he was eventually killed by a SWAT team. The man had been connected to several rape cases - including that of a 12 year old girl - and had been in jail for assault and robbery.

Some 60 people attended a march in his honor - where he was hailed as a fighter against "police terror".

Yeah folks, that sound you just heard was all the remotes turning off the TV's at Goldman Sachs in a massive protest against indecency.

Finally:

CHRISTMAS - WHAT OTHER TIME OF THE YEAR DO YOU SIT IN FRONT OF A DEAD TREE AND EAT CANDY OUT OF YOUR SOCKS?

Have a great weekend.