If you get a good one - - - - - -

We love living on the Gulf side of Florida. You get a pretty good mix over here. The night life is good down in Sarasota- you can cruise out of Tampa - and there are a bunch of Steeler fans down here in Bradenton.

There's also a lot of farm land. Near our development there are several cows that use a former fruit farm as pasture. Bella, our Chihuahua, loves seeing them up close and thinks they're big dogs. Bella doesn't know a lot about animals. Guess I don't either.

Recently a fellow I met down at Geckos invited me over to his farm. I had just sat down in his farmhouse with a cold sarsasparilla he proffered when a three legged pig appeared from behind the couch I was occupying.

When my friend came back from the kitchen I inquired about the pig and noted to him that I observed it only had three legs.

My friend said, "Yep, that's a very unusal pig. I doubt we'd be having this conversation if it hadn't been for that pig. As you know, we get a passel of rain down here. With a farm this size we have to deal with a lot of mud. One rainy day I got too close to the edge of the pasture road. The tractor slid suddenly, flipped over, and pinned me underneath."

"Wow", I exclaimed. "How'd you get out?"

"Well, that's the strange thing," he said, sucking on his Dr. Pepper. "It just so happened that Chitlin, the pig you asked about, saw my predicament. I was too far away from the house to call anybody. I was getting concerned as it was getting dark and my leg had started cramping."

"Yeh, I'd have been scared too. I mean, how much help can a pig be when you're in a fix like that?", I asked.

"Well, that's just the thing I was thinking then. But, you know, Chitlin sat down for a while cogitating on the problem. Then he got up, put his head down and boar straight ahead; if you'll excuse the pun. He proceeded very carefully to dig a narrow trench from the roadbed and under the tractor, spitting mud right and left. His plan worked and allowed me to extricate myself without being crushed."

"That's one extrordinary pig", I said, in awe of the pigs perspicacity

"Yeah, but that's just the beginning. One time we were all sleeping and the kitchen caught on fire. The smoke was so thick you couldn't hardly see the front door to escape. Darned if that pig didn't smell the smoke, come to see what was going on, and then head butt the door in. This allowed the smoke to clear and we grabbed his tail to escape safely, looking for all the world like a human charm bracelet."

"Incredible!", I exclaimed.

"Finally", he continued, "there was the time the Feds were sneaking around the out buildings where we kept the still and Chitlin got wind of them. He set up a sort of a pig posse and he and the other pigs chased them guys plum off the land.''

He paused. "Of course, then we realized we needed to take evasive action and we moved the still into a cave we dug under the kitchen floor. By, the way, would you like another? It won't take me but a minute."

Finding I was having difficulty in identifying any of the primary colors on the Afghan spread across the arm of the couch, I declined graciously and quickly got back to the conversation. "I've never heard of anything like that in my whole life. But, tell me, why does Chitlin only have three legs?"

My friend put his thumbs under his overall shoulder straps and proudly exclaimed, "Well , you know, if you get a good one like Chitlin you just don't want to eat him all at once."

Don't know about you but it made perfect sense to me at the time.

(This blog has not received a P.E.T.A. seal of approval)