I almost fell off my chair when a Facebook ad popped up in the margin this morning and solicited me for the opportunity to meet "older women" .
After all, living in a 55+ community - called Westwinds -I'm surrounded by them - and I do love them - particularly two who have passed the age of 90, are still active - and truly do "look good for their age."
Aggie and Phyllis - you go girls!
It was then the truism about "perception becoming reality" started to float around in my life challenged brain. You see, that last statement is a perfect example of the concept- a perception of Alzheimers novicius - or , "I'm sure it's just the beginning."
If, based on the opinions of other folks, we "perceive" that we have become old, mind addled, vain, rude, petty, egotistical , etc , it can become contagious and soon morph into our "reality".
A couple of weeks ago my wife Phyl ventured up to the Thursday night Bingo game and got a chance to talk to one of our "grand dames.".
She took a moment to respond to Phyl's inquiry as to how her day had been and then proceeded to describe a delightful day that included a non infrequent visit to the Moose that afternoon.
Apparently nobody had yet managed to convince her that she was old or even mentally challenged based on her insistance of taking her "lucky bear" to Bingo each week. God bless her!
If only life could be that simple - or is it?
We enjoy our community and the many people who make a point to speak to us when we're taking our little Chihuahua, Bella, on one of her Bataan marches around the neighborhood.
These folks watch and sometimes comment - when "Bell" conceivably stops to smell every blade of grass that suggests prior passage by other critters. Upon confirming the message she then lifts a leg and leaves her own mark in double-digit measurements, a practiced act which I am sure she believes is equally "tantalizing" to those she precedes on her journey.
She has no idea how silly she may look - and why should she? With that pea sized brain - (large in comparison with her body size) and an amazing capacity for love - she is clueless; and we wouldn't change any of it for a moment.
In some strange way Phyl and I feel better about ourselves, partially due to the attention Bella engenders as we walk her and hear the accompanied endearing comments from friends and strangers alike about her manners and friendly attitude. No animal enjoys a 'bum scratching" more than our doggie does.
We often joke that were it not for Bella we might never be noticed in Westwinds - not that this is always a good thing.
If you doubt me you might want to question friend Harry http://harry2335.blogspot.com/ about his experiences as past President of our little community - including the expectations that - in the middle of the night -his duties included resolving a plumbing problem one of our senior citizens was experiencing.
Now that's one heckuva opportunity to try to separate "perception from reality" and he appears to have handled it well.
Having him around was a real treasure for those of us with perhaps less grandiose expectations as to what Harry's duties included.
So next time when someone says mean things to you - don't internalize them - and allow "perceptions to become reality". You're better than that.
There are exceptions obviously, however.
When someone tells me how young and good looking I am, especially for a septugenarian, that's a completely different thing.
Clearly these people possess extremely good judgment skills and have absolutely warmed the cockles of my heart by exercising their penchant for honesty.
There is something to be said for - after many years of practice - acquiring the skill to shave this craggy face without looking in the mirror during the process.
Who wants that image looking back at me and disagreeing?
I mean, "C'mon - Get Real"!
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
GOLF HUMOR
How often do we hear the golf jokes about Moses, Abraham, & Jesus - or a Priest, Minister, and a Rabii- or sometimes, a lawyer, an accountant, and a funeral director?
Actually, that last one was pretty funny; but certainly not one to repeat in these august ramblings.
Golf lends itself to funny jokes. Usually when females hear them they are quick to agree, "Yeah, that's men, okay!"
Here are a couple of my favorites:
A husband and a wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack.
"Help me dear,", she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his cellphone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter and lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him.
"I'm dying here and you're putting?"
"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."
"Well, how long will it take for him to get here? she asks feebly.
"No time at all," replies her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."
-----------------------------------------
The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said, "What are your golf clubs doing here?"
He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"
__________________________________
But, sometimes the females get their chance too:
Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3 iron while standing over a lifeless man..
The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"
"Yes", says the woman.
"Looking at the battered body, he asks "Did you hit him with that golf club?"
"Yes, yes, I did ." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
"I don't know - - - put me down for a five."
-----------------------------------------------------
Then we have the church related jokes. Here are two:
A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par 3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"
The young man says, "An 8-iron, Father. How about you?"
The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."
The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 7-iron, dribbles the ball out a few yards and is obviously disappointed..
The young man says, "I don't know about you, Father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep our head down."
--------------------------------------------------
A golfer tees up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees that he thought he could hit through.
Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"
The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?"
---------------------------------
Finally, the reason we men find golf so much easier than playing chess:
A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson,"You are spectacular; your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course.
"What's your secret?"
Michelson replied, "The holes are numbered."
-------------------------------------------
Enjoy your game and try to retain a good sense of humor.
Actually, that last one was pretty funny; but certainly not one to repeat in these august ramblings.
Golf lends itself to funny jokes. Usually when females hear them they are quick to agree, "Yeah, that's men, okay!"
Here are a couple of my favorites:
A husband and a wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack.
"Help me dear,", she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his cellphone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter and lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him.
"I'm dying here and you're putting?"
"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."
"Well, how long will it take for him to get here? she asks feebly.
"No time at all," replies her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."
-----------------------------------------
The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said, "What are your golf clubs doing here?"
He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"
__________________________________
But, sometimes the females get their chance too:
Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3 iron while standing over a lifeless man..
The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"
"Yes", says the woman.
"Looking at the battered body, he asks "Did you hit him with that golf club?"
"Yes, yes, I did ." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
"I don't know - - - put me down for a five."
-----------------------------------------------------
Then we have the church related jokes. Here are two:
A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par 3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"
The young man says, "An 8-iron, Father. How about you?"
The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."
The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 7-iron, dribbles the ball out a few yards and is obviously disappointed..
The young man says, "I don't know about you, Father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep our head down."
--------------------------------------------------
A golfer tees up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees that he thought he could hit through.
Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"
The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?"
---------------------------------
Finally, the reason we men find golf so much easier than playing chess:
A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson,"You are spectacular; your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course.
"What's your secret?"
Michelson replied, "The holes are numbered."
-------------------------------------------
Enjoy your game and try to retain a good sense of humor.
Monday, March 4, 2013
If You Can Find The Time.
If you are a music fan, but are not sure that classical is your music du jour choice, I would recommend picking up a music CD entitled "Tchaikovsky At Tea Time."
It is on the Philips label: #28945 44982 and is a compilation. If your memories of Tchaikovsky are primarily The 1812 Overture - a rather challenging piece - this CD will be like a breath of fresh air. It is recommended for nurseries of small kids, as well.
I often put this CD on out on the lanaii when I'm reading the paper or just musing like a Pa Kettle lookalike, rocking away in his rocker while Ma Kettle says, "Hush children - your Pa is thunkin."
In the Sullivan household the CD is a favorite of my wife Phyl and myself - but not Bella.
Apparently the opening bars of the andante cantabile (a really relaxing part of the String Quartet No.1 in D) was not meant for tiny Chihuahuas with delicate hearing.
Playing this selection when she's around never ceases to cause Bella to start her own sing-along with blood curdling moans.
Another recommendation, "If you can find the time" - and might be in a relaxing Bossa Nova mood is a CD by Stan Getz entitled "The Bossa Nova Years (Girl From Ipanema)" - one by Paul Desmond entitled "Bossa Antigua" - and finally one that son Bruce played for me in Pittburgh and later rewarded me with, entitled "Salsamba" - which was recorded in a Pittsburgh studio.
You will note that my recommendations so far are strictly musical. I would not dare to suggest a clothing style or particular fashion look. As you, who have read my blog, probably will recall, I was still wearing Knickers in the 5th grade.
--------------------------------------------------
Finally, I definitely endorse a reading on the health cost mystery.
Be prepared. It requires a judicious use of time and patience but will clarify for you (probably for the first time) just why we spend 20% of our gross domestic product on health care - twice as much as most other developed countries which get the same or better health outcomes..
If you like reality stories with heroes and villains you'll find them all here.
The biggest villain, and one which you probably never heard of, is "The Chargemaster"- which Time Magazine calls "the mysterious internal pricelist for products and services that every hospital in the U.S. keeps." (and which few hospital administrators can or will attempt to explain - partially because they don't understand it themselves).
However, it is the key ingredient in our disastrous health insurance costs and most responsible for the hospitals charging (as an example) a 10,000% markup for acetaminophen - and, that's only for a starter.
The story also makes clear why the hospitals - in true Pac-Man fashion- are eating up the smaller hospitals in your area as well as several physician practices - simply to keep your medical carriers from being able to negotiate substantial discounts on those bills you are receiving.
It is a fascinating story and one that my wife - a former large hospital bill negotiator for a large insurance company - can confirm is costing us one helluva lot of money - and it is doubtful Congress will ever step in to apply an anti-trust remedy.
Other villains uncovered are "the usual suspects": the grossly overpaid Hospital administrators, the manufacturers of hospital equipment, lobbyists, members of Congress on both sides of the aisle, doctors who accept pay for being so-called drug company advisors - one political party that simply refuses to do anything about tort reform - and another party that the hospital and drug industry lobbyists all have in their collective hip pockets.
Spoiler alert: The identity of the real hero involved here will surprise you if you've been previously sucked in by all the media drivel.
It's called Medicare - and Brill reveals how they could actually do even more if Congress did not tie their hands by allowing them to only pay "the approximate costs" of care.
For all of us who struggle with the high costs of medical insurance it should be required reading.
It is a 24,105 word story that became my "segmental" reading choice in "Barry's Bathroom". It is also a incredibly clear explanation as to why our health costs are so outrageous.
The information resource here is the March 4, 2013 issue of Time Magazine which has a Special Report entitled "The Bitter Pill" by author Stephen Brill (the founder of Court TV). It is subtitled "The Free market in American medicine is a myth with or without Obamacare".
In your library it will be Vol. 181, No.8| 2013
Once more we have clearly been underserved by our elected officials - which is an enigma we appear unwilling to attempt to resolve.
Like the blog title says, "If You can Find The Time". (pun intended)
It is on the Philips label: #28945 44982 and is a compilation. If your memories of Tchaikovsky are primarily The 1812 Overture - a rather challenging piece - this CD will be like a breath of fresh air. It is recommended for nurseries of small kids, as well.
I often put this CD on out on the lanaii when I'm reading the paper or just musing like a Pa Kettle lookalike, rocking away in his rocker while Ma Kettle says, "Hush children - your Pa is thunkin."
In the Sullivan household the CD is a favorite of my wife Phyl and myself - but not Bella.
Apparently the opening bars of the andante cantabile (a really relaxing part of the String Quartet No.1 in D) was not meant for tiny Chihuahuas with delicate hearing.
Playing this selection when she's around never ceases to cause Bella to start her own sing-along with blood curdling moans.
Another recommendation, "If you can find the time" - and might be in a relaxing Bossa Nova mood is a CD by Stan Getz entitled "The Bossa Nova Years (Girl From Ipanema)" - one by Paul Desmond entitled "Bossa Antigua" - and finally one that son Bruce played for me in Pittburgh and later rewarded me with, entitled "Salsamba" - which was recorded in a Pittsburgh studio.
You will note that my recommendations so far are strictly musical. I would not dare to suggest a clothing style or particular fashion look. As you, who have read my blog, probably will recall, I was still wearing Knickers in the 5th grade.
--------------------------------------------------
Finally, I definitely endorse a reading on the health cost mystery.
Be prepared. It requires a judicious use of time and patience but will clarify for you (probably for the first time) just why we spend 20% of our gross domestic product on health care - twice as much as most other developed countries which get the same or better health outcomes..
If you like reality stories with heroes and villains you'll find them all here.
The biggest villain, and one which you probably never heard of, is "The Chargemaster"- which Time Magazine calls "the mysterious internal pricelist for products and services that every hospital in the U.S. keeps." (and which few hospital administrators can or will attempt to explain - partially because they don't understand it themselves).
However, it is the key ingredient in our disastrous health insurance costs and most responsible for the hospitals charging (as an example) a 10,000% markup for acetaminophen - and, that's only for a starter.
The story also makes clear why the hospitals - in true Pac-Man fashion- are eating up the smaller hospitals in your area as well as several physician practices - simply to keep your medical carriers from being able to negotiate substantial discounts on those bills you are receiving.
It is a fascinating story and one that my wife - a former large hospital bill negotiator for a large insurance company - can confirm is costing us one helluva lot of money - and it is doubtful Congress will ever step in to apply an anti-trust remedy.
Other villains uncovered are "the usual suspects": the grossly overpaid Hospital administrators, the manufacturers of hospital equipment, lobbyists, members of Congress on both sides of the aisle, doctors who accept pay for being so-called drug company advisors - one political party that simply refuses to do anything about tort reform - and another party that the hospital and drug industry lobbyists all have in their collective hip pockets.
Spoiler alert: The identity of the real hero involved here will surprise you if you've been previously sucked in by all the media drivel.
It's called Medicare - and Brill reveals how they could actually do even more if Congress did not tie their hands by allowing them to only pay "the approximate costs" of care.
For all of us who struggle with the high costs of medical insurance it should be required reading.
It is a 24,105 word story that became my "segmental" reading choice in "Barry's Bathroom". It is also a incredibly clear explanation as to why our health costs are so outrageous.
The information resource here is the March 4, 2013 issue of Time Magazine which has a Special Report entitled "The Bitter Pill" by author Stephen Brill (the founder of Court TV). It is subtitled "The Free market in American medicine is a myth with or without Obamacare".
In your library it will be Vol. 181, No.8| 2013
Once more we have clearly been underserved by our elected officials - which is an enigma we appear unwilling to attempt to resolve.
Like the blog title says, "If You can Find The Time". (pun intended)
Sunday, March 3, 2013
High School Reunion
Anybody out there been receiving invitations to attend high school reunions?
Also, are there any of you who might go but the destination for the reunion is not something tht fits conveniently into your budget - or you have conficting
commitments like watching a grandchild participating in a marbles tournament that weekend?
Hey, these are all valid reasons for this writer.
But, what if the real reason is that you really weren't a big deal in high school - maybe even thought of as a nerd - and in your eyes you believe that not much probably changed in the minds of your former classmates after you graduated?
Hey, things may have changed. It happens. But, do you really want to have to use the occasion of a 25, 30, 40 or 50 year reunion to "find out"?
Probably not.
I responded to a few of these reunion invitations by making an innocent comment or two that apparently was not received as same. that was pretty much it for me. Sameo - Sameo.
Do you ever wonder why when those invitations to "reunions" arrive in your mailbox or computer, they never seem to come from a former class member who now says:
"Hey, I know I really was a true jagoff back then but now that my 3rd arrest for statuary rape has been dismissed I would love to get together with you guys - over at Vinny's Pizza and Car Wash Emporion" back in our home town - where I have finally found employment."
No, the ones I get are from a guy who makes self important allusions to titles, awards - the number of residences - the exotic trips etc that God has blessed him with.
Don't get me wrong - I truly do not wish them retirement status as a possible ex-felon nor as an entry level employee at the Pizza and Car Wash location.
Neither do I want to attend a reunion so I can be reminded of their personality inadequacies both in High School and now as a fellow senior.
OK, let's take a vote. Anything like that really take place with you since your high school graduation? Hmmm, not an overwhelming show of hands
Probably not - and that's okay. I guess this is just my own personal peeve and at my age I kinda figure I have a right to express it - in my own personal blog.
Probably - if you were not a member of the desired clique in your high school days - those invitations sent asking you to "reunion' are coming from somebody who mysteriously - back in the days - could never find the time to talk to you.
That is unless he or she asked you to do their homework, vote for them in some school office election, or accused you of taking or putting something in their locker.
There's a distinct possibility that you've really grown up tremendously - lost that inferiority complex along with the acne - but still go:
"Is this trauma something that I really want to renew? I mean, it was only after I escaped from this peer pressure and three months later went away to college. I had truly moved on and found who I was all about. When I did that I acquired the self-confidence I needed and recognized the potential that I had but which was never realized while in high school."
Honestly, those two years after I graduated from high school and went away to school before transferring to a school in my hometown were maybe the best two years of my life.
I was like a flower that had blossomed. I went from "nerd' status to "Cheers" status - where, maybe not everybody - but most of my college class mates knew my name and actually spoke to me.
Despite that new recogniton from strangers none of my former high school classmates tried to track me down to have lunch or share a beer with them.
But yet, the current e-mails (and you're wondering how in the name of God they got your e-mail address) that promise you the reunion will be "status free" - a no pressure affair.
See, this means - no possibility that those arranging the reunion will attempt to freeze you out again nor try to remind you that you are still a failure in their eyes or couldn't possibly match their so-called accomplishments since high school.
I think of it as sort of a reunion "leader board" that posts your scores and lists your comparative position in the reunion tournament.
It's not necessarily unlike retirement status in Florida.
C'mon, lets talk.
The first thing I found that you have to deal with in the retirement community you chose are the questions designed to indentify how you compare with them. You are quickly asked about your past employment - your accomplishments - your current residence location(s) - and whether or not you belong to a golf/country club in the area or back home.
And, if for some reason or another, you are able to skillfully avoid those questions, (because you're still basically a private person) do not be surprised if someone follows you outside to see the age and model of the vehicle you are driving.
If that sounds truly paranoia driven - please re-enter the real world. Honestly, it actually happens down here - and some graduate work in a psychology related field helped me to understand what it was all about.
Some - and definitely not all men - do not know how to relate to other men unless they know if their "superiority index" - can program you adequately on a continuom as equal - superior - or menial.
I had achieved some degree of success with a large company but after consistent questioning by a complete stranger aimed at determining the height to which I had risen in this company with which he had some familiarity - I finally responded to the guy, "Would you like to see my teeth?"
Does this all sound like something from a frustrated high school student who just didn't fit in 50 to 60 years ago? Yeah, maybe - but there's much more .
I can't possibly imagine why folks who seldom showed any interest in me suddenly recall my name (via Google?) and now want me to "reunion" with them.
Being somewhat of a cynic I ask myself this question "Is there a quorum goal these folks are desperately trying to meet similar to the votes they accumulated for class treasurer that is contingent on the number of people who respond to their entreaty and actually show up at the reunion?"
It's hard to imagine that these fine folks who contact us only in 10 year increments have had an epiphany and now want to know what we are all about in our old age?
Or, based on remarks from some friends who did cave in and attend their respective high schol reunions I wonder - based on their stories of regret- is this really "about" the "inviters" desire to see you or tell you what they're all "about"?
Obviously, from what I've written, you have gathered this is possibly not an overwhelming bucket list goal for me.
It's simply that I didn't want to play the game almost 60 years ago. I purposely did not dress like they did - get the requisite crew cut - talk the talk - drink the brew -smoke the hemp (or anything else) - wear the bucks - the button down sport shirts with the signature button in the back - the crew neck sweaters or the the khaki's with the belt in the back.
Of course, within a month after graduating I did most of those things.
Do you think that had anything to do with my new found popularity in college?
Anyway, it's been a good journey.
I have a lot that I'm proud of - good kids - an attractive loving wife - receipt of some praise - awards etc - in my business life - in short nothing that I feel compelled to share with folks who were once virtual strangers and whom I suspect haven't changed that much in almost 60 years witht he excption of their hairlines and waist size. Now here, we are equals.
I'd rather watch a video of a grandchild doing something really important - like learning how to explore the box their present came in - skip the reunion and just be myself with my new friends in Florida.
But, hey "Dude", it's up to you how - or whether - you respond.
Also, are there any of you who might go but the destination for the reunion is not something tht fits conveniently into your budget - or you have conficting
commitments like watching a grandchild participating in a marbles tournament that weekend?
Hey, these are all valid reasons for this writer.
But, what if the real reason is that you really weren't a big deal in high school - maybe even thought of as a nerd - and in your eyes you believe that not much probably changed in the minds of your former classmates after you graduated?
Hey, things may have changed. It happens. But, do you really want to have to use the occasion of a 25, 30, 40 or 50 year reunion to "find out"?
Probably not.
I responded to a few of these reunion invitations by making an innocent comment or two that apparently was not received as same. that was pretty much it for me. Sameo - Sameo.
Do you ever wonder why when those invitations to "reunions" arrive in your mailbox or computer, they never seem to come from a former class member who now says:
"Hey, I know I really was a true jagoff back then but now that my 3rd arrest for statuary rape has been dismissed I would love to get together with you guys - over at Vinny's Pizza and Car Wash Emporion" back in our home town - where I have finally found employment."
No, the ones I get are from a guy who makes self important allusions to titles, awards - the number of residences - the exotic trips etc that God has blessed him with.
Don't get me wrong - I truly do not wish them retirement status as a possible ex-felon nor as an entry level employee at the Pizza and Car Wash location.
Neither do I want to attend a reunion so I can be reminded of their personality inadequacies both in High School and now as a fellow senior.
OK, let's take a vote. Anything like that really take place with you since your high school graduation? Hmmm, not an overwhelming show of hands
Probably not - and that's okay. I guess this is just my own personal peeve and at my age I kinda figure I have a right to express it - in my own personal blog.
Probably - if you were not a member of the desired clique in your high school days - those invitations sent asking you to "reunion' are coming from somebody who mysteriously - back in the days - could never find the time to talk to you.
That is unless he or she asked you to do their homework, vote for them in some school office election, or accused you of taking or putting something in their locker.
There's a distinct possibility that you've really grown up tremendously - lost that inferiority complex along with the acne - but still go:
"Is this trauma something that I really want to renew? I mean, it was only after I escaped from this peer pressure and three months later went away to college. I had truly moved on and found who I was all about. When I did that I acquired the self-confidence I needed and recognized the potential that I had but which was never realized while in high school."
Honestly, those two years after I graduated from high school and went away to school before transferring to a school in my hometown were maybe the best two years of my life.
I was like a flower that had blossomed. I went from "nerd' status to "Cheers" status - where, maybe not everybody - but most of my college class mates knew my name and actually spoke to me.
Despite that new recogniton from strangers none of my former high school classmates tried to track me down to have lunch or share a beer with them.
But yet, the current e-mails (and you're wondering how in the name of God they got your e-mail address) that promise you the reunion will be "status free" - a no pressure affair.
See, this means - no possibility that those arranging the reunion will attempt to freeze you out again nor try to remind you that you are still a failure in their eyes or couldn't possibly match their so-called accomplishments since high school.
I think of it as sort of a reunion "leader board" that posts your scores and lists your comparative position in the reunion tournament.
It's not necessarily unlike retirement status in Florida.
C'mon, lets talk.
The first thing I found that you have to deal with in the retirement community you chose are the questions designed to indentify how you compare with them. You are quickly asked about your past employment - your accomplishments - your current residence location(s) - and whether or not you belong to a golf/country club in the area or back home.
And, if for some reason or another, you are able to skillfully avoid those questions, (because you're still basically a private person) do not be surprised if someone follows you outside to see the age and model of the vehicle you are driving.
If that sounds truly paranoia driven - please re-enter the real world. Honestly, it actually happens down here - and some graduate work in a psychology related field helped me to understand what it was all about.
Some - and definitely not all men - do not know how to relate to other men unless they know if their "superiority index" - can program you adequately on a continuom as equal - superior - or menial.
I had achieved some degree of success with a large company but after consistent questioning by a complete stranger aimed at determining the height to which I had risen in this company with which he had some familiarity - I finally responded to the guy, "Would you like to see my teeth?"
Does this all sound like something from a frustrated high school student who just didn't fit in 50 to 60 years ago? Yeah, maybe - but there's much more .
I can't possibly imagine why folks who seldom showed any interest in me suddenly recall my name (via Google?) and now want me to "reunion" with them.
Being somewhat of a cynic I ask myself this question "Is there a quorum goal these folks are desperately trying to meet similar to the votes they accumulated for class treasurer that is contingent on the number of people who respond to their entreaty and actually show up at the reunion?"
It's hard to imagine that these fine folks who contact us only in 10 year increments have had an epiphany and now want to know what we are all about in our old age?
Or, based on remarks from some friends who did cave in and attend their respective high schol reunions I wonder - based on their stories of regret- is this really "about" the "inviters" desire to see you or tell you what they're all "about"?
Obviously, from what I've written, you have gathered this is possibly not an overwhelming bucket list goal for me.
It's simply that I didn't want to play the game almost 60 years ago. I purposely did not dress like they did - get the requisite crew cut - talk the talk - drink the brew -smoke the hemp (or anything else) - wear the bucks - the button down sport shirts with the signature button in the back - the crew neck sweaters or the the khaki's with the belt in the back.
Of course, within a month after graduating I did most of those things.
Do you think that had anything to do with my new found popularity in college?
Anyway, it's been a good journey.
I have a lot that I'm proud of - good kids - an attractive loving wife - receipt of some praise - awards etc - in my business life - in short nothing that I feel compelled to share with folks who were once virtual strangers and whom I suspect haven't changed that much in almost 60 years witht he excption of their hairlines and waist size. Now here, we are equals.
I'd rather watch a video of a grandchild doing something really important - like learning how to explore the box their present came in - skip the reunion and just be myself with my new friends in Florida.
But, hey "Dude", it's up to you how - or whether - you respond.
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