Many years ago while attending an employee meeting I heard an interesting question asked of our Pennsylvania Deputy Vice-President, Dick Meyers.
It was, "Are this country's ethics worsening?" His response was: "The ethics are not worse - there are just more people."
I've often reflected on that answer, particularly when later on I was a member of an insurance ethics panel and was faced with responding to that same question.
Choosing the coward's way out I used a common Public Speakers bailout and bounced the question back to the individual who had posed it. Like me, he struggled for a reply to his own question before deciding the answer was "Yes".
Today, I'm more and more convinced that both answers above were correct. There are not only many more people around than when Dick fielded the question, but also many indications that our ethical behavior has worsened.
In addition, we have become a nation of investigative reporters and self-annointed Tattle-Tale bloggers. No leaf (bedsheet or spread sheet) is left unturned.
This makes one wonder what could a politician or celebrity have possibly been thinking when he or she was caught performing unethical behavior? And yes, it's obviously not just limited to sexual misconduct, which goes back to at least Charlie Chaplin and Fatty Arbuckle.
I find that the most interesting reason given for the increase in unethical behavior is the one which blames the decline on an extremely popular book from the pop-psychology of the 60's. It was entitled "I'm O.K - You're OK." and was written by Psychiatrist, Thomas A Harris.
The book sales went "bananas" (over 15 million copies) to which critics of Harris claimed,"It was not only unexpected but ironic!"
The cause and history of Harris's reasoning would take too long to document here. Needless to say it became a sensation.
Remember that the 60's were a breakout decade and it wasn't limited to Woodstock. It was not just a a time of protests and wild sex. It was also a period of self-examination. The print and entertainment media were only too happy to oblige our confusion.
Briefly, Harris's book taught us about the three personalities within us: The Parent, The Child, and (hopefully),The well reasoned Adult. The latter was meant to serve as a graduation of the previous two states and to guide our thinking and decisions in a positive manner.He suggested the Parent state often kept this from happening.
Harris said many things but,it was his treatment of the Parent state and it's impact on us as a child, that he believed too often precluded our transition into a responsible and independent adulthood. That's the part that raised the most flak.
He concluded:(per Wikipedia) "The Parent state was a collection of 'tape recordings' of external influences that the Child observed them doing and saying. He stated, "The recording is a long list of rules and admonitions about the way the world is that the Child was expected to believe unquestionably."
He felt that many of the Parent rules like, "Premarital sex is wrong" and "You can never trust a cop" were opinions that were less helpful to a child than precautionary rules such as "Never run out into traffic".
The critics suggested that this conclusion and it's extraordinary treatise resulted in encouraging too much freedom, independence, and lack of responsibility on the part of the survivors of that generation.
They claimed, that while Harris's intent may have been benign, the wrong Child (those already not receptive to the Parent recordings) as well as those less malleable and/or on the cusp, also got the message that the Parent and society's rules no longer applied to them.
The critics opined this opened the flood gates for subsequent generations that grew exponentially and led to our current permissiveness and lack of ethical restraint.
Whether the critics were correct or not would require a thesis - not a blog.
However, it should be noted the 60's were also the explosion of typical Ozzie & Harriet co-parenting and replaced by two income families and a substantial decrease in stay-at-home Moms.
Mom wasn't always around to constantly remind you that cussing and petty thievery were surely the work of the Devil and the word "Hate" was not acceptable. Experts differ on the effect - if any.
Most of us know of examples where the transistional maternal instinct coupled with a guilt complex caused working Mom to conclude Johnny and Janie could not only have any material goods they wanted but, also could do no wrong.
Anyway, Harris's ideas - good or bad- and his book title caught on. Comedian George Carlin parodied the name in his "Join The Book Club" routine, offering the book "I suck, you suck!"
Hey, who knows? I'm more inclined to believe my blog title best describes where we are now; but, what do I KNOW?
Friday, August 26, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS
Most of you have heard the following old joke. But, it bears repeating.
Four senior women, residents of a nursing home, are seated around a card table playing Canasta when one of them, Charmaine, says to the elderly woman seated to her right, "Tell me Estelle, what is it that you could possibly like about Lester, your boyfriend?
He's old, skinny, ugly, smells bad and dresses like a thrift shop."
Estelle pauses for a minute and ponders her reply.
"Well", she begins, "it is true that he favors plaid shirts and striped trousers and he's definitely not as attractive as my late husband Morris, plus, I guess he could benefit from adding a few pounds and showering everyday."
"Well then", responds Eloise, one of the other members of the group - So, what's the attraction for you?"
Estelle pauses again before responding. "His greatest asset is - his greatest asset to me - is that he can drive at night."
Adelaide, the fourth member, an attractive and quite buxom lady immediately responded excitedly, "What's he doing tonight?"
You see, it's the little things.
So it is with the people with whom we are interacting every day.
We're staying in an apartment in the Penn Hills section of Pittsburgh.
It is the same apartment complex where my brothers and I, all residing out of town, moved our Mom long ago, with 24 hour companions and a family member, a nurse, looking in on her constantly.
Mom detested the thought of being placed in a nursing home and she was too sick to travel and stay with one of us. Plus, she didn't want to leave Pittsburgh. She was a Pittsburgh kind of girl who claimed not to mind the winters.
Stubborn little Irish women are like that sometimes.
It wasn't a big deal. She was our Mom. To us it was a little thing we could do that would allow Mom to pass time with dignity before her Parkinsons robbed her of her communication skills.
In previous blogs I've commented on how nice the people of Pittsburgh remain. No, not the idiots who are continuously shooting each other in Brushton, Homewood, Larimore, Beltzhoover and the Hill, just to mention a few locations.
Those folks remain just a small divisive part of what people in Pittsburgh are all about. Pittsburgh is like any other big city in that regard.
The ones I'm favorably referencing are the ones, black or white or tan, old and young, who hold doors for you and apologize if they didn't see you coming and they failed to grab that door.
It's the big burly guy working on his car who ducks his head out from under the hood to ask, "How's you day going? - even if you're a perfect stranger.
They are also the folks who are the first among many who are bringing over home cooked food when there has been an illness or tragedy in a family. You may have seen them cutting grass and landscaping yards for their elderly or infirm neighbors if you were passing through town.
Have a relative with Alzheimers? They'll come and spell you for a while.
Penn Hills is an old community that outgrew it's road system consisting of a lot of two lane roads and multiple intersections where taking your turn - and waving people out of the many business parking lots on Rodi road is the expected - not the exception.
It is the one thing different we have noticed since arriving from our residence in Florida. Unfortunately, the latter is filled with disenchanted and sometimes bitter seniors.
We also have snowbirds at least half the year who come from places that definitely are not Pittsburgh.
Don't get me wrong. Many of them are probably thought of as good people back in their home towns. However, their expectations as to what they deserve and contribute upon arriving in our little community of Bradenton are often misplaced.
Restaurant servers, who are also good people, are complaining constantly about their rudeness, their demanding ways, as well as their meager tips.
So, is taking turns in heavy traffic without benefit of traffic signs and starting up a conversation a big deal?
No, it's just one of the "little things" we like and admire about this great town and it's residents.
Four senior women, residents of a nursing home, are seated around a card table playing Canasta when one of them, Charmaine, says to the elderly woman seated to her right, "Tell me Estelle, what is it that you could possibly like about Lester, your boyfriend?
He's old, skinny, ugly, smells bad and dresses like a thrift shop."
Estelle pauses for a minute and ponders her reply.
"Well", she begins, "it is true that he favors plaid shirts and striped trousers and he's definitely not as attractive as my late husband Morris, plus, I guess he could benefit from adding a few pounds and showering everyday."
"Well then", responds Eloise, one of the other members of the group - So, what's the attraction for you?"
Estelle pauses again before responding. "His greatest asset is - his greatest asset to me - is that he can drive at night."
Adelaide, the fourth member, an attractive and quite buxom lady immediately responded excitedly, "What's he doing tonight?"
You see, it's the little things.
So it is with the people with whom we are interacting every day.
We're staying in an apartment in the Penn Hills section of Pittsburgh.
It is the same apartment complex where my brothers and I, all residing out of town, moved our Mom long ago, with 24 hour companions and a family member, a nurse, looking in on her constantly.
Mom detested the thought of being placed in a nursing home and she was too sick to travel and stay with one of us. Plus, she didn't want to leave Pittsburgh. She was a Pittsburgh kind of girl who claimed not to mind the winters.
Stubborn little Irish women are like that sometimes.
It wasn't a big deal. She was our Mom. To us it was a little thing we could do that would allow Mom to pass time with dignity before her Parkinsons robbed her of her communication skills.
In previous blogs I've commented on how nice the people of Pittsburgh remain. No, not the idiots who are continuously shooting each other in Brushton, Homewood, Larimore, Beltzhoover and the Hill, just to mention a few locations.
Those folks remain just a small divisive part of what people in Pittsburgh are all about. Pittsburgh is like any other big city in that regard.
The ones I'm favorably referencing are the ones, black or white or tan, old and young, who hold doors for you and apologize if they didn't see you coming and they failed to grab that door.
It's the big burly guy working on his car who ducks his head out from under the hood to ask, "How's you day going? - even if you're a perfect stranger.
They are also the folks who are the first among many who are bringing over home cooked food when there has been an illness or tragedy in a family. You may have seen them cutting grass and landscaping yards for their elderly or infirm neighbors if you were passing through town.
Have a relative with Alzheimers? They'll come and spell you for a while.
Penn Hills is an old community that outgrew it's road system consisting of a lot of two lane roads and multiple intersections where taking your turn - and waving people out of the many business parking lots on Rodi road is the expected - not the exception.
It is the one thing different we have noticed since arriving from our residence in Florida. Unfortunately, the latter is filled with disenchanted and sometimes bitter seniors.
We also have snowbirds at least half the year who come from places that definitely are not Pittsburgh.
Don't get me wrong. Many of them are probably thought of as good people back in their home towns. However, their expectations as to what they deserve and contribute upon arriving in our little community of Bradenton are often misplaced.
Restaurant servers, who are also good people, are complaining constantly about their rudeness, their demanding ways, as well as their meager tips.
So, is taking turns in heavy traffic without benefit of traffic signs and starting up a conversation a big deal?
No, it's just one of the "little things" we like and admire about this great town and it's residents.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
SO FAR TOM, IT'S BEEN GOOD
Author Thomas Wolfe memorialized the words, "You Can't Go Home Again." when he entitled his book as such.
Like most folks who are or were avid readers, the line has stuck with me. I think of it often as I attempt to renew great memories of my hometown of Pittsburgh.
None of them included the filming of a Batman movie that has ensnarled traffic in Oakland as well as downtown ("don-ton" to the residents),thus discouraging my visits to some old haunts and favorite museums.
Despite this, my return with wife Phyl, and Bella, the tiny Chihuahua, has not confirmed Wolfe's premise. This visit has been a delight.
Wolfe's novel was more plot focused about his character George Webber, a struggling new author. In the book Webber, after returning to his hometown, Libya Hill, wrote a distorted version of same,and prompted the irate reactions of the townfolks.
The title Wolfe chose has been quoted, misquoted, and misinterpreted for 70 years.
My hometown return experience has been good.
That is except for the loss of good friends who have passed on: Jim Caryl, Marty Zillis,Tom Hohan, Bill O'Connor and a long list of other friends and acquaintances.
Some, while still here, are suffering from the ravages of old age.
But, for any septugenarian, that's the norm - not the exception.
Friend and fellow blogger Harry has written of this same experience in both New York and Florida.
Despite the bored expressions on the faces of today's residents, I continued to inquire about old friends and places as I attempted to recall my memories and relate my stories. I still think of them as fascinating. Most don't, and that's okay.
As a former resident of Pittsburgh for 50 years one is quickly amazed at the changes that have taken place. However, none of these changes have anything to do with the one constant; the friendliness of the people we meet each day.
I do regret the absence of bar/restaurants that have closed such as Donahues, Martinis, The Castle Inn, Birdies, Hohans, Joe and Jenny's, The Ranch, etc. But, if truth be told, many had closed down even while Pittsburgh was still my hometown.
Still open are the tried and true places like The Esta Esta and The Wooden Nickel. What is missing is the laughter of my friends with whom I visited these still comfortable haunts.
Despite that loss of old friends and places, making new friends and listening to what is still some of the best jazz being played at restaurants like Morgans in Penn Hills, has confirmed it was a good decision to return home.
"So, there", TOM!
Like most folks who are or were avid readers, the line has stuck with me. I think of it often as I attempt to renew great memories of my hometown of Pittsburgh.
None of them included the filming of a Batman movie that has ensnarled traffic in Oakland as well as downtown ("don-ton" to the residents),thus discouraging my visits to some old haunts and favorite museums.
Despite this, my return with wife Phyl, and Bella, the tiny Chihuahua, has not confirmed Wolfe's premise. This visit has been a delight.
Wolfe's novel was more plot focused about his character George Webber, a struggling new author. In the book Webber, after returning to his hometown, Libya Hill, wrote a distorted version of same,and prompted the irate reactions of the townfolks.
The title Wolfe chose has been quoted, misquoted, and misinterpreted for 70 years.
My hometown return experience has been good.
That is except for the loss of good friends who have passed on: Jim Caryl, Marty Zillis,Tom Hohan, Bill O'Connor and a long list of other friends and acquaintances.
Some, while still here, are suffering from the ravages of old age.
But, for any septugenarian, that's the norm - not the exception.
Friend and fellow blogger Harry has written of this same experience in both New York and Florida.
Despite the bored expressions on the faces of today's residents, I continued to inquire about old friends and places as I attempted to recall my memories and relate my stories. I still think of them as fascinating. Most don't, and that's okay.
As a former resident of Pittsburgh for 50 years one is quickly amazed at the changes that have taken place. However, none of these changes have anything to do with the one constant; the friendliness of the people we meet each day.
I do regret the absence of bar/restaurants that have closed such as Donahues, Martinis, The Castle Inn, Birdies, Hohans, Joe and Jenny's, The Ranch, etc. But, if truth be told, many had closed down even while Pittsburgh was still my hometown.
Still open are the tried and true places like The Esta Esta and The Wooden Nickel. What is missing is the laughter of my friends with whom I visited these still comfortable haunts.
Despite that loss of old friends and places, making new friends and listening to what is still some of the best jazz being played at restaurants like Morgans in Penn Hills, has confirmed it was a good decision to return home.
"So, there", TOM!
Monday, August 8, 2011
BACK PEDALLING
The recent Pirate collapse has a lot of people in the great city of Pittsburgh "back pedalling".It's the fans as well as the local media.
One cannot believe that it's strictly the recent Pirate playing with which they are upset. Rather, it probably is their inability to believe that they were wrong with their both their expectations and pronouncements.
It's not uncommon for people today to struggle with admitting they were wrong. We saw it in the NFL and NFLPA negotiations.
It also more recently happened when one of the credit rating agencies had the nerve to downgrade this country's credit rating.
Immediately, the leaders of both parties were quick to blame it on "the other guy" and the White House to claim Standard & Poor's used the "wrong" statistics in making their decision.
Who in God's name knew there was such a thing as the "right" statistics?
Gene Collier, the guy I most admire as a member of Pittsburgh's media coverage, said it best ab out the Pirates in todays column: "Thank you for the memories." It was a true capsule version of what I'm feeling today - even if Gene stole the line from comedian Bob Hope's theme song.
It has been my pleasure to be here, years ago, in 60, 71, and 79 when it was mostly fun being a Pirates fan. It was also fun again to be able to share in the recent excitement voiced by so many baseball fans.
It brought back a lot of memories of the family sitting on the deck above the garage at 392 Ave F and listening to the games - win or lose. We heard Harvey Haddix's 9 inning perfect game up there.
Cort TV is the local Pirate television network and they have made almost all the games available to us temporary Pgh transplants. Other than having perhaps the most boring announcers I've experienced in years,it's been mostly fun.
The post-game interviews with Pirate manager Clint Hurdle have been a hoot. A class act! And, perhaps the best choice local management could have made for working with these young ballplayers.
Oh yeah, they're still making rookie mistakes. Cedeno, their shortstop, obviously needs to request a bigger mitt, and also get a quicker start on potential double play combinations.
And Walker, a homegrown product,and perhaps their best player, sometimes allows his hustle and determination to end up in his making rookie decisions.
Yesterday, he called off players in better position to make a catch.
The first resulted in no harm as the batter struck out on the next pitch.
Later, he rushed to judgment on another pop fly with a runner on third and the right fielder charging the ball.
To even this old guy who got no further than playing pony league ball for Ned Mellon, (before the curve ball did me in) whether the ball was dropped or not, the outfielder was in a better position to make the catch or at least keep the ball in front of him.
The guy on third scored. But, I wouldn't trade Walker on a bet. If you're going to watch a guy make possible poor decisions based on hustle - give me 8 or 10 more Walkers.
The Pirate fans, as well as a possibly "former" usher at Mckechnie Field, were happy to have Doumit, their regular catcher return from one of his annual bouts with injuries.
Sadly, they were quickly reminded that he couldn't throw me out going from first to second; and must also be using Cedeno's glove behind the plate when attempting to block the pitches in the dirt.
But, even as I feared the outcome of the game, I stuck with it on TV for all nine innings. It must be in the Sullivan blood.
There is no back pedalling here.
I look forward to enjoying and renewing the intimate experience of being a Pirate fan in Pittsburgh. I expect to be attending one of the games in their next homestand with some folks who have invited my wife and myself to join them.
Win or lose - on this road trip starting today - we'll be there.
One cannot believe that it's strictly the recent Pirate playing with which they are upset. Rather, it probably is their inability to believe that they were wrong with their both their expectations and pronouncements.
It's not uncommon for people today to struggle with admitting they were wrong. We saw it in the NFL and NFLPA negotiations.
It also more recently happened when one of the credit rating agencies had the nerve to downgrade this country's credit rating.
Immediately, the leaders of both parties were quick to blame it on "the other guy" and the White House to claim Standard & Poor's used the "wrong" statistics in making their decision.
Who in God's name knew there was such a thing as the "right" statistics?
Gene Collier, the guy I most admire as a member of Pittsburgh's media coverage, said it best ab out the Pirates in todays column: "Thank you for the memories." It was a true capsule version of what I'm feeling today - even if Gene stole the line from comedian Bob Hope's theme song.
It has been my pleasure to be here, years ago, in 60, 71, and 79 when it was mostly fun being a Pirates fan. It was also fun again to be able to share in the recent excitement voiced by so many baseball fans.
It brought back a lot of memories of the family sitting on the deck above the garage at 392 Ave F and listening to the games - win or lose. We heard Harvey Haddix's 9 inning perfect game up there.
Cort TV is the local Pirate television network and they have made almost all the games available to us temporary Pgh transplants. Other than having perhaps the most boring announcers I've experienced in years,it's been mostly fun.
The post-game interviews with Pirate manager Clint Hurdle have been a hoot. A class act! And, perhaps the best choice local management could have made for working with these young ballplayers.
Oh yeah, they're still making rookie mistakes. Cedeno, their shortstop, obviously needs to request a bigger mitt, and also get a quicker start on potential double play combinations.
And Walker, a homegrown product,and perhaps their best player, sometimes allows his hustle and determination to end up in his making rookie decisions.
Yesterday, he called off players in better position to make a catch.
The first resulted in no harm as the batter struck out on the next pitch.
Later, he rushed to judgment on another pop fly with a runner on third and the right fielder charging the ball.
To even this old guy who got no further than playing pony league ball for Ned Mellon, (before the curve ball did me in) whether the ball was dropped or not, the outfielder was in a better position to make the catch or at least keep the ball in front of him.
The guy on third scored. But, I wouldn't trade Walker on a bet. If you're going to watch a guy make possible poor decisions based on hustle - give me 8 or 10 more Walkers.
The Pirate fans, as well as a possibly "former" usher at Mckechnie Field, were happy to have Doumit, their regular catcher return from one of his annual bouts with injuries.
Sadly, they were quickly reminded that he couldn't throw me out going from first to second; and must also be using Cedeno's glove behind the plate when attempting to block the pitches in the dirt.
But, even as I feared the outcome of the game, I stuck with it on TV for all nine innings. It must be in the Sullivan blood.
There is no back pedalling here.
I look forward to enjoying and renewing the intimate experience of being a Pirate fan in Pittsburgh. I expect to be attending one of the games in their next homestand with some folks who have invited my wife and myself to join them.
Win or lose - on this road trip starting today - we'll be there.
Friday, August 5, 2011
YOU WERE WRONG, MOM!
The server network I use on my computer stated today that a recent check of tax records determined that over 1400 millionaires paid no taxes. (Let's not even waste energy now reviewing the bank and oil company tax records).
And, its legal?
This country's citizens voted overwhelmingly for the Republican party in the last election. The majority in the House changed overnight.
What were we thinking?
The big holdup in the recent settlement regarding raising the debt limit were the very same "Tea Party" members we were so sure would make things right when this country decided to vote them into office.
Their mantrum in this last political battle was "no more taxes". And, their stand takes place at a time when we're experiencing some of the lowest taxes in years?
Youth may be something to admire - but also to fear - at the same time.
As a political party - the Republican's almost pushed us into financial ruin by their unbending partisan position that there would be no reworking of the worst tax system we may have ever known.
I sat with another life long Republican the other night while we commiserated with each other over our mutual stupidity.
We agreed our voting record in the next election will be considerably different than it was in the past. Neither of us ever voted straight ticket, but, we were so upset with the socialism approach of the Democrats, we overlooked the other side of the coin.(pun intended)
Let's see. You have "minimally" 1,400 millionaires (based on 2010
income)not paying taxes (if you believe the report).
Most would agree they are the same millionaires who probably are big supporters of any political party that refuses to raise taxes or close the loopholes that allow these folks to avoid taxes.
Now let's see, "who would that be?"
Quid-pro-quo?
I don't give a !@#$ what anybody's excuse is for this tax and campaign financing travesty that has been allowed to continue - and that includes the conservative majority in the Supreme Court.
To allow this to go on year after year is to perpetuate fraud!
Someone suggested that the Republican party has outraised 2012 campaign money by two-to-one over the Democrats.
S-U-P-R-I-S-E!
When I was a kid -- and had an unusual amount of birthday coins in my pocket - I once insisted on being the big spender down at the ice cream counter of the neighborhood Reiner's drugstore.
I treated all my "almost" friends.
Later, I was admonished by my Mom.
Her words continue to ring in my ears, "Barry, you can't buy friends."
Mom, if you're looking down on me right now- I gotta tell you:
"YOU WERE SO WRONG, MOM!"
And, its legal?
This country's citizens voted overwhelmingly for the Republican party in the last election. The majority in the House changed overnight.
What were we thinking?
The big holdup in the recent settlement regarding raising the debt limit were the very same "Tea Party" members we were so sure would make things right when this country decided to vote them into office.
Their mantrum in this last political battle was "no more taxes". And, their stand takes place at a time when we're experiencing some of the lowest taxes in years?
Youth may be something to admire - but also to fear - at the same time.
As a political party - the Republican's almost pushed us into financial ruin by their unbending partisan position that there would be no reworking of the worst tax system we may have ever known.
I sat with another life long Republican the other night while we commiserated with each other over our mutual stupidity.
We agreed our voting record in the next election will be considerably different than it was in the past. Neither of us ever voted straight ticket, but, we were so upset with the socialism approach of the Democrats, we overlooked the other side of the coin.(pun intended)
Let's see. You have "minimally" 1,400 millionaires (based on 2010
income)not paying taxes (if you believe the report).
Most would agree they are the same millionaires who probably are big supporters of any political party that refuses to raise taxes or close the loopholes that allow these folks to avoid taxes.
Now let's see, "who would that be?"
Quid-pro-quo?
I don't give a !@#$ what anybody's excuse is for this tax and campaign financing travesty that has been allowed to continue - and that includes the conservative majority in the Supreme Court.
To allow this to go on year after year is to perpetuate fraud!
Someone suggested that the Republican party has outraised 2012 campaign money by two-to-one over the Democrats.
S-U-P-R-I-S-E!
When I was a kid -- and had an unusual amount of birthday coins in my pocket - I once insisted on being the big spender down at the ice cream counter of the neighborhood Reiner's drugstore.
I treated all my "almost" friends.
Later, I was admonished by my Mom.
Her words continue to ring in my ears, "Barry, you can't buy friends."
Mom, if you're looking down on me right now- I gotta tell you:
"YOU WERE SO WRONG, MOM!"
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