After reading today's article in The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette regarding the current status of the Santonio Holmes matter in an Orlando bar, I'm still shaking my head.
Any criminal charges that might have been made are moot as the Orlando Police Department made a decision to close their case. The plaintiff has decided not to press charges. It is unclear whether any money exchanged hands.
However, the article states the civil suit against him will proceed and the plaintiff's attorneys see no reason to "back down". The reason may be as simple as the legal requirement of reasonable doubt in a criminal case as opposed to the much smaller requirement to convict in a civil matter. (see O.J.)
While there is no guarantee criminal charges couldn't be made later - nor that a out-of-court settlement might be reached - this appears to be an ideal time for Holmes to countersue if the matter continues.
Given that the young attorney contended in his complaint that the Orlando Police Department and Holmes conspired and pressured the "victim" not to pursue charges, one wonders why the City of Orlando doesn't also research legal remedies.
Holmes contends that the incident for which he - a professional football player - is being charged was not committed by him, but, by a female guest at the Orlando bar he attended. In addition, coincidental with the police departments decision not to prefer charges - several details of the "victims" criminal past emerged.
We live in a legal environment where local financially strapped government seems to disdain prosecuting celebrities who can afford the quality of defense counsel that will end up costing the taxpayers money.
Even on a federal level it's hard to find the report of a financial settlement that is not accompanied by the words "no admission of guilt". Therefore, white collar crime stats are skewed as we seldom put the offenders behind bars.
"Settling out of court" appears to be more prevalent in a civil matter than a criminal case. In the latter the popular term is "plea bargaining". Regardless of the fancy legalese used to describe this by the media - the word that they chose to exclude from their report is that of "blackmail.".
Okay, enough of the pseudo-legal opinion of this writer. I readily admit I occasionally fail to recognize the difference between a tort and a tart. - so let's switch gears.
What is it about celebrity status that these Pittsburgh Steelers athletes don't appear to understand?
Holmes and Rothlisberger are one half of a tandem act that won a Super Bowl. Both are previously and presently involved in legal actions agains them. Should we also conclude that their success as professional athletes is the result of some weird strain of "idiot savant"?
Rothlisbergers transgression was committed in Georgia on March 5. Holmes is allegedly involved in a felonious act that took place in a Florida bar two days later on March 7.
Now, as a bona-fide resident of Florida, I realize mail service between Florida and Georgia could be compared favorably with the Pony Express system employed between Sacramento and St. Joe, but, doesn't anybody watch ESPN any more?
Why in the name of everything holy would you hear about your "tandem buddy's" latest problems in a bar and go visit a bar two nights later? I mean, at least give it a week.
How can we convince these two that they are in a celebrity category because God gave them the genetics that allows one - with training - sacrifice - good coaching -etc to achieve greater things athletically than your average Joe?
How can we convince them that there is a quid pro-quo expected of them in exchange for their genetic gift - vast fortunes - and celebrity status?
Answer: We obviously can't.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
ALMOST HEALTH CARE CHANGES
The following is from an E-mail I received and then edited out the political junk. Some of the lines were too funny to dismiss.
Please do not view this as an argument against the recent Health Care legislation.
At my age there is a tendency to look at life as a continuum and hope that someday we'll again view ideas like "delayed gratification" and "incremental progress" as positives.
PLEASE NOTE THE RADICAL PROPOSED CHANGES THAT DIDN'T BECOME LAW:
Annual breast exams will be done at Hooters.
Directions to your doctor's office will now include: Take a left when entering the trailerpark.
The tongue depressors may taste faintly of Fudgsicles.
The only proctologist in your plan may be "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
Preventive care coverage will now be "an apple a day."
Do not tell your doctor that the pants he/she is wearing are those you gave to Goodwill.
When you read: "the patient is now responsible for 200% of out-of-network changes"-that is not a typographical error.
The only expense covered 100% now will be embalming.
Your Prozac - for which you may desire to increase the dosage - will now come with little" M's" on the pills.
For those of you taking Viagra - the pills will now be replaced with a Popsicle stick and"duct tape."
As Carla , a good friend of ours, includes with every E-mail: "She who laughs - lasts."
Please do not view this as an argument against the recent Health Care legislation.
At my age there is a tendency to look at life as a continuum and hope that someday we'll again view ideas like "delayed gratification" and "incremental progress" as positives.
PLEASE NOTE THE RADICAL PROPOSED CHANGES THAT DIDN'T BECOME LAW:
Annual breast exams will be done at Hooters.
Directions to your doctor's office will now include: Take a left when entering the trailerpark.
The tongue depressors may taste faintly of Fudgsicles.
The only proctologist in your plan may be "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
Preventive care coverage will now be "an apple a day."
Do not tell your doctor that the pants he/she is wearing are those you gave to Goodwill.
When you read: "the patient is now responsible for 200% of out-of-network changes"-that is not a typographical error.
The only expense covered 100% now will be embalming.
Your Prozac - for which you may desire to increase the dosage - will now come with little" M's" on the pills.
For those of you taking Viagra - the pills will now be replaced with a Popsicle stick and"duct tape."
As Carla , a good friend of ours, includes with every E-mail: "She who laughs - lasts."
Monday, March 29, 2010
"EDJICATION ARE IMPOTENT?' (PART ONE)
I just read this: "Four out of three people have trouble with fractions" - and laughed. I did so despite remembering that the quality of our kids education is a real controversy today.
Should it be? Ever watch "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?" It's sort of a takeoff on the reverse intellect of the peasants and the nobility in a Monty Phython movie.
Here the questions are so tough that the contestants - many of whom have advanced degrees -are frequently forced to cheat off the answers of the highly informed grade school student panel members in order to gain the cash prizes they seek.
You watch this and say , "Do they really teach this in grade school now? Whatever happened to getting a gold star by coloring within the lines?"
In first grade I was a charter member of the "Buzzards" reading group, hoping to be called up to "Bluebirds", "Red Robins" or "Soaring Eagles".
My second grade math exercises were trying to keep "twosies" and "threesies" in order when playing jacks with the neighborhood girls.
Some of the quiz show questions include geometry, astronomy, and tough math. If these are representative topics and questions for first thru fifth graders why is there a controversy over our educational system?
Trust me, there is and nobody can seem to arrive at a consensus.The predominant argument is a lack of dedication by too many of today's teachers. Others look to an apparent epidemic in the frequency of ADD and/or dyslexia diagnoses as a contributing factor..
We still have many who see the dearth of people reading books and the increase in video games and TV watching as the true enemy.
There also seems to be a movement afoot to blame the absence of parental support as the real cause. Teachers in particular say this causes a ripple effect disqualifying many from the opportunity to enter college.
Finally, there are the higher education dissidents. They claim "This whole 'My kid has got to go to college" thing is an idea that is past it's prime. College is greatly overated"They take the view of the proletariat, concluding," What we truly need is just more good trade people"
Good point if you look at my "55 and older senior community". It is the many talented retired trade workers in our senior community who are earning substantial extra shekels to supplement their social security, etc and work only when they choose.
Me? I'm the hand eye challenged guy - and always was. If I didn't get a college education I'd be on a street corner imploring you to buy my pencils.
For some strange reason I haven't found a way to make a quick buck by lecturing on "A Comparative Analysis of Lexicographers Samuel Johnson and Noah Webster". The only Boswell my neighbors are interested in is Connie.
As a country, we lack cohesion in discussing the relative merits of education. One proud parent's bumper sticker announces that their child was selected "student of the month in the fifth grade". Another family's bumper sticker proudly proclaims "My fourth grader can beat up your fifth grade student of the month".
Is education overrated? I'm not sure how to answer. Too many variables, perhaps.
In my childhood neighborhood I had a friend you might call a remedial student now. He was very athletic and quite handsome. One day, after a riveting Junior High lecture on communism he raised his hand and said, "I think I understand Mr. Finfrock, but can you tell me - that Stalin guy - is he on our side or theirs?'
Not to fear. Bobby was such a good athlete he got a "scholarship" to a local steel community high school that was heavy into proselytizing jocks. He went to school only when it struck his fancy to do so.
Bobby became an honorable mention All American at one of the football factories in the Carolinas and allegedly married a beautiful and wealthy co-ed from down there. Another blow struck for "edjication"? Maybe, but not all of us can rely on those types of genes.
How bad is the education of our kids?" Is the whole thing overblown?
Not at all", claim the folks we like to think should know. They are those who are "doing the doing". Many are educators - some are politicians - and on both sides of the aisle - I might add.
Unfortunately, all seem to have a panacea. This is despite the fact that after "No Child Left Behind" we now have only 12 states who can claim that 50% of middle- class kids are proficient at 8th grade math. ( Yes, that's 50% - as in half.) It would also seem to be a knockout punch for those who contend that poor grades are a problem only for the poorest school districts.
The "No Child Left Behind" folks disagree with the protagonists for "Charter School Systems".
Then along come those who take the more pedestrian path and argue we simply have to get back to basics. Most recently it's the "Race To The Top" theory we're championing.
This is a program where 40 states"lobbed" in plans to the U.S. Department of Education last January in pursuit of $4.35 billion in federal funds made available to spur innovation in the classroom.
What? We want teachers to be innovators in addition to babysitters? Hey, I'm a big fan of incremental progress as opposed to panaceas - but why, after all this time, can't we get it right?
Educator and former presidential education advisor, Diane Ravitch totally endorsed the "No Child Behind " reform when introduced in 2006. However, in her recent book "The Death and Life of the Great American School System" - she trashes it.
Albert Shanker, the educational labor leader, was the champion of the "Charter Schools" approach in the late-1980's. Now, Charter schools are being criticized for becoming elitist and their leaders desirous of "killing off" the public school system. You can't possibly believe this is what Shanker envisioned.
He once said, "There is no more reason to pay for private education than there is to pay for a private swimming pool for those who do not use public facilities."
Shanker was interesting - even if controversial - and seen as a radical labor leader willing to close down schools to get what he wanted for teachers. He was also quoted as saying:"a lot of people who have been hired as teachers are basically not competent."
He'd have never made it as head of the Baseball Major League Player's Union.
That's enough for one blog. We'll visit some other aspects including results of speaking to actual teachers in a future post.
Should it be? Ever watch "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?" It's sort of a takeoff on the reverse intellect of the peasants and the nobility in a Monty Phython movie.
Here the questions are so tough that the contestants - many of whom have advanced degrees -are frequently forced to cheat off the answers of the highly informed grade school student panel members in order to gain the cash prizes they seek.
You watch this and say , "Do they really teach this in grade school now? Whatever happened to getting a gold star by coloring within the lines?"
In first grade I was a charter member of the "Buzzards" reading group, hoping to be called up to "Bluebirds", "Red Robins" or "Soaring Eagles".
My second grade math exercises were trying to keep "twosies" and "threesies" in order when playing jacks with the neighborhood girls.
Some of the quiz show questions include geometry, astronomy, and tough math. If these are representative topics and questions for first thru fifth graders why is there a controversy over our educational system?
Trust me, there is and nobody can seem to arrive at a consensus.The predominant argument is a lack of dedication by too many of today's teachers. Others look to an apparent epidemic in the frequency of ADD and/or dyslexia diagnoses as a contributing factor..
We still have many who see the dearth of people reading books and the increase in video games and TV watching as the true enemy.
There also seems to be a movement afoot to blame the absence of parental support as the real cause. Teachers in particular say this causes a ripple effect disqualifying many from the opportunity to enter college.
Finally, there are the higher education dissidents. They claim "This whole 'My kid has got to go to college" thing is an idea that is past it's prime. College is greatly overated"They take the view of the proletariat, concluding," What we truly need is just more good trade people"
Good point if you look at my "55 and older senior community". It is the many talented retired trade workers in our senior community who are earning substantial extra shekels to supplement their social security, etc and work only when they choose.
Me? I'm the hand eye challenged guy - and always was. If I didn't get a college education I'd be on a street corner imploring you to buy my pencils.
For some strange reason I haven't found a way to make a quick buck by lecturing on "A Comparative Analysis of Lexicographers Samuel Johnson and Noah Webster". The only Boswell my neighbors are interested in is Connie.
As a country, we lack cohesion in discussing the relative merits of education. One proud parent's bumper sticker announces that their child was selected "student of the month in the fifth grade". Another family's bumper sticker proudly proclaims "My fourth grader can beat up your fifth grade student of the month".
Is education overrated? I'm not sure how to answer. Too many variables, perhaps.
In my childhood neighborhood I had a friend you might call a remedial student now. He was very athletic and quite handsome. One day, after a riveting Junior High lecture on communism he raised his hand and said, "I think I understand Mr. Finfrock, but can you tell me - that Stalin guy - is he on our side or theirs?'
Not to fear. Bobby was such a good athlete he got a "scholarship" to a local steel community high school that was heavy into proselytizing jocks. He went to school only when it struck his fancy to do so.
Bobby became an honorable mention All American at one of the football factories in the Carolinas and allegedly married a beautiful and wealthy co-ed from down there. Another blow struck for "edjication"? Maybe, but not all of us can rely on those types of genes.
How bad is the education of our kids?" Is the whole thing overblown?
Not at all", claim the folks we like to think should know. They are those who are "doing the doing". Many are educators - some are politicians - and on both sides of the aisle - I might add.
Unfortunately, all seem to have a panacea. This is despite the fact that after "No Child Left Behind" we now have only 12 states who can claim that 50% of middle- class kids are proficient at 8th grade math. ( Yes, that's 50% - as in half.) It would also seem to be a knockout punch for those who contend that poor grades are a problem only for the poorest school districts.
The "No Child Left Behind" folks disagree with the protagonists for "Charter School Systems".
Then along come those who take the more pedestrian path and argue we simply have to get back to basics. Most recently it's the "Race To The Top" theory we're championing.
This is a program where 40 states"lobbed" in plans to the U.S. Department of Education last January in pursuit of $4.35 billion in federal funds made available to spur innovation in the classroom.
What? We want teachers to be innovators in addition to babysitters? Hey, I'm a big fan of incremental progress as opposed to panaceas - but why, after all this time, can't we get it right?
Educator and former presidential education advisor, Diane Ravitch totally endorsed the "No Child Behind " reform when introduced in 2006. However, in her recent book "The Death and Life of the Great American School System" - she trashes it.
Albert Shanker, the educational labor leader, was the champion of the "Charter Schools" approach in the late-1980's. Now, Charter schools are being criticized for becoming elitist and their leaders desirous of "killing off" the public school system. You can't possibly believe this is what Shanker envisioned.
He once said, "There is no more reason to pay for private education than there is to pay for a private swimming pool for those who do not use public facilities."
Shanker was interesting - even if controversial - and seen as a radical labor leader willing to close down schools to get what he wanted for teachers. He was also quoted as saying:"a lot of people who have been hired as teachers are basically not competent."
He'd have never made it as head of the Baseball Major League Player's Union.
That's enough for one blog. We'll visit some other aspects including results of speaking to actual teachers in a future post.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Brave New World
The title should not suggest there is anything in this blog that resembles the Aldous Huxley handbook for the future - by the same name. Huxley admits that his many experiments with mescaline and LSD may have influenced his satirical predictions. My drug du jour is old age.
No, this "Brave New World" is based on some simple observations of what's going on in this nutty country of ours. It is also not meant to refute our need to hear all sides of an issue.
The Sullivans from Forest Hills may not have been poor but they were desperately hanging on to that thin line separating "poor" from "low middle class" in the war years. We were not alone.
Back then, even if you could, you seldom went out and bought something you knew you couldn't afford - even if it would keep the kids from arguing that the neighbor kids got better stuff.
I had a friend who tired of hearing this argument from his daughter. He asked her to take a ride with him and started to cruise the better end of Westchester. When she became impatient and asked him, "What in the world are you doing"? he replied, "I'm waiting for you to pick one!"
OK, here it comes, and I'll spare you the ten miles through the snow part.
Our cost strategy in the "olden days" was to put on a sweater and/or extra blanket rather than shovel an extra load of coal in the furnace - to consume ALL the leftovers - to eat vegetable soup for three days straight - to plant a garden in the back yard - to wear our dad's old shoes even though 2 to 3 sizes too small - and to tie the soles of those shoes with a rubber "gum" band to get rid of the "clip-clop" sound. Oh yeah, and apples sauce wasn't so bad for dessert.
Most such plans worked and enabled us to get a better grip on survival during the hard times.
We did not explore all options. My suggestion that we contact the most wealthy childless couples in the borough to determine what my youngest brother might bring in the coin of the realm - fell on deaf ears.
There were many other examples but this would start to sound like a Russian novel should that continue to be our theme and that's boring even to me.
The first point is that there was no expectation that sacrificing would make us complete and bring us to "wealthy" status. It was more one of those "the sum of the parts excedes the whole" thing. (Don't bother to correct ). We felt that by making a commitment - including a budget - we could see some positive change and and "improve" our predicament.
That theory does not appear to wash these days based on my reading of the letters to the editor. For every cost saving suggestion, such as "malpractice reform", someone would inevitably come back with the argument that this is such a fractional part of costs contributing to the health care mess, it's not worth the effort.
Is there nobody around who still remembers the "The Parable of the Talents" from the New Testament? (Ahh, I forget we're not supposed to discuss religion - but, it's ok to trash the muslims?)
Despite our repeated failures we are a nation that continues to look for instant fixes and we abhor incremental progress via a denial of instant gratification.
I know this is not a unique thought and please be assured our mail contains no solicitations from Mensa. But, think about it for a minute.
Which situation would you rather be in: enjoying the pride of responsible ownership knowing it took you a little longer than your brother or cousin - or own a home " before your time" and feel the hairs on the back of your neck go up every time the mailman brought you registered mail?
A second point is to express our regret of the trend where folks apparently believe that "two wrongs make a right". "Therefore," the protagonist argues, "we did it before" (even if the results were a disaster) so, "we might as well do it again".
Think about it the next time you read about the report of a repeat convicted child molester..
Finally, we are amazed at our lack of disgust regarding people who tell outrageous lies on television interview shows -in newspaper reports - on talk shows, etc. What the !@#$ is spinning? How did the term escape from a discussion of fiber arts, exercise, and dancing ?
No, this is not one of John Avlon (The Daily Beast) " wing-nuts" speaking out. It's "Pap-Pap" and ole P.P. is scared to death about the world our grandkids are going to inherit . I also fear that should they have questions for me, I either won't be around to answer or will be busy drooling on my bib.
The number of grandkids I embrace has now climbed into double-figures. In the event that things don't improve and/or they decide to read this blog someday, it is my fervent hope they will find some clarification as to how we got there. I also pray they will be brighter and more analytical than their old "Pap-Pap" - and , possibly have a more open mind.
My hope, and prayer, is that they will also have a strategy for dealing with the intimidating person who asks of them: "Have you stopped beating your Mother - YES OR NO?"
Now, there's a Brave New World I could endorse.
No, this "Brave New World" is based on some simple observations of what's going on in this nutty country of ours. It is also not meant to refute our need to hear all sides of an issue.
The Sullivans from Forest Hills may not have been poor but they were desperately hanging on to that thin line separating "poor" from "low middle class" in the war years. We were not alone.
Back then, even if you could, you seldom went out and bought something you knew you couldn't afford - even if it would keep the kids from arguing that the neighbor kids got better stuff.
I had a friend who tired of hearing this argument from his daughter. He asked her to take a ride with him and started to cruise the better end of Westchester. When she became impatient and asked him, "What in the world are you doing"? he replied, "I'm waiting for you to pick one!"
OK, here it comes, and I'll spare you the ten miles through the snow part.
Our cost strategy in the "olden days" was to put on a sweater and/or extra blanket rather than shovel an extra load of coal in the furnace - to consume ALL the leftovers - to eat vegetable soup for three days straight - to plant a garden in the back yard - to wear our dad's old shoes even though 2 to 3 sizes too small - and to tie the soles of those shoes with a rubber "gum" band to get rid of the "clip-clop" sound. Oh yeah, and apples sauce wasn't so bad for dessert.
Most such plans worked and enabled us to get a better grip on survival during the hard times.
We did not explore all options. My suggestion that we contact the most wealthy childless couples in the borough to determine what my youngest brother might bring in the coin of the realm - fell on deaf ears.
There were many other examples but this would start to sound like a Russian novel should that continue to be our theme and that's boring even to me.
The first point is that there was no expectation that sacrificing would make us complete and bring us to "wealthy" status. It was more one of those "the sum of the parts excedes the whole" thing. (Don't bother to correct ). We felt that by making a commitment - including a budget - we could see some positive change and and "improve" our predicament.
That theory does not appear to wash these days based on my reading of the letters to the editor. For every cost saving suggestion, such as "malpractice reform", someone would inevitably come back with the argument that this is such a fractional part of costs contributing to the health care mess, it's not worth the effort.
Is there nobody around who still remembers the "The Parable of the Talents" from the New Testament? (Ahh, I forget we're not supposed to discuss religion - but, it's ok to trash the muslims?)
Despite our repeated failures we are a nation that continues to look for instant fixes and we abhor incremental progress via a denial of instant gratification.
I know this is not a unique thought and please be assured our mail contains no solicitations from Mensa. But, think about it for a minute.
Which situation would you rather be in: enjoying the pride of responsible ownership knowing it took you a little longer than your brother or cousin - or own a home " before your time" and feel the hairs on the back of your neck go up every time the mailman brought you registered mail?
A second point is to express our regret of the trend where folks apparently believe that "two wrongs make a right". "Therefore," the protagonist argues, "we did it before" (even if the results were a disaster) so, "we might as well do it again".
Think about it the next time you read about the report of a repeat convicted child molester..
Finally, we are amazed at our lack of disgust regarding people who tell outrageous lies on television interview shows -in newspaper reports - on talk shows, etc. What the !@#$ is spinning? How did the term escape from a discussion of fiber arts, exercise, and dancing ?
No, this is not one of John Avlon (The Daily Beast) " wing-nuts" speaking out. It's "Pap-Pap" and ole P.P. is scared to death about the world our grandkids are going to inherit . I also fear that should they have questions for me, I either won't be around to answer or will be busy drooling on my bib.
The number of grandkids I embrace has now climbed into double-figures. In the event that things don't improve and/or they decide to read this blog someday, it is my fervent hope they will find some clarification as to how we got there. I also pray they will be brighter and more analytical than their old "Pap-Pap" - and , possibly have a more open mind.
My hope, and prayer, is that they will also have a strategy for dealing with the intimidating person who asks of them: "Have you stopped beating your Mother - YES OR NO?"
Now, there's a Brave New World I could endorse.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
THE LUCK OF THE IRISH
A friend of mine once told me: "My wife and I had words - but, I didn't get to use mine."
Another friend of mine recently had the gall to suggest there were few words I had left unused.
Many men, while happily married, have words they never get to use. That may well be the reason they are happily married.
A popular saying is: "God made man before women so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question."
Once we recognize that the sexes are truly different and stop trying to erase that difference we start to take some positive steps.
It is well known that man's biggest problem -when a woman tells him she has a problem- is to offer advice as to how the problem can be resolved.
This huge failing generally results in the words: "You never listen to me."
I say, "C'mon. Cut the guy a break. You readily admit to this "love of your life" (the home repair challenged one) that he can't walk and chew gum at the same time. Despite this, you don't really understand why he hasn't mastered listening , thinking, and talking all at the same time?"
Women are different. They tend to just keep talking, and make several practice runs, knowing, " in there somewhere is the thing for which I'm really ticked off."
And, that's okay. We all have our own style.
Occasionally, it occurs to me:"I may have overreached in attempting to get in touch with my feminine side!"
But, is there any happy couple who hasn't learned that it takes much less time for two to look for glasses, keys, a missing phone number and the remote; once they have developed a system and divided the responsibilities as well as determining the "usual suspects" hiding places?
When you get older don't you also recognize it takes two people to replace the missing screw in one pair of glasses?
If any - or all of this - seems to make sense - I shake my head in surprise.
You see, it's St. Paddy's Day, my McDonalds doesn't sell Shamrock Shakes, and I'm feeling really "discomboobulated".
Folks, have a Happy St. Patricks Day - and tell yourself -" Self, this is one St. Patty's Day I'm not getting hauled off in the Paddy Wagon!"
Another friend of mine recently had the gall to suggest there were few words I had left unused.
Many men, while happily married, have words they never get to use. That may well be the reason they are happily married.
A popular saying is: "God made man before women so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question."
Once we recognize that the sexes are truly different and stop trying to erase that difference we start to take some positive steps.
It is well known that man's biggest problem -when a woman tells him she has a problem- is to offer advice as to how the problem can be resolved.
This huge failing generally results in the words: "You never listen to me."
I say, "C'mon. Cut the guy a break. You readily admit to this "love of your life" (the home repair challenged one) that he can't walk and chew gum at the same time. Despite this, you don't really understand why he hasn't mastered listening , thinking, and talking all at the same time?"
Women are different. They tend to just keep talking, and make several practice runs, knowing, " in there somewhere is the thing for which I'm really ticked off."
And, that's okay. We all have our own style.
Occasionally, it occurs to me:"I may have overreached in attempting to get in touch with my feminine side!"
But, is there any happy couple who hasn't learned that it takes much less time for two to look for glasses, keys, a missing phone number and the remote; once they have developed a system and divided the responsibilities as well as determining the "usual suspects" hiding places?
When you get older don't you also recognize it takes two people to replace the missing screw in one pair of glasses?
If any - or all of this - seems to make sense - I shake my head in surprise.
You see, it's St. Paddy's Day, my McDonalds doesn't sell Shamrock Shakes, and I'm feeling really "discomboobulated".
Folks, have a Happy St. Patricks Day - and tell yourself -" Self, this is one St. Patty's Day I'm not getting hauled off in the Paddy Wagon!"
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
MISTAKEN IDENTITY
I was walking into Geckos on 70 the other night using the front door to avoid the smokers on the patio.
As I stepped through the doorway a platoon of people started to file out to my right. The passage was narrow and I leaned against a table by the interior wall and facing the door in order to give the satiated guests more room.
One little guy was holding up the line. He had his thumbs tucked into his overall straps and was taking deliberate "little guy" steps with larger than normal stride aspirations.
He had this grin on his face that was precious. It was apparent he was aware he was holding up the rest of the large dinner party. I exchanged big smiles with him.
A woman best described as of "mom age" looked at me as the boy passed and said , "we all have days like that".
I figured she was speaking of the little guy, nodded my head and replied: "10 grandchildren".
As I was walking to join my wife in the back - still smiling at the antics of the little guy- it occurred to me she may have simply been referencing my pose as, you know, "that older gentleman who was leaning against the table."
Heck, what the kid was doing - she was probably used to seeing.
As I stepped through the doorway a platoon of people started to file out to my right. The passage was narrow and I leaned against a table by the interior wall and facing the door in order to give the satiated guests more room.
One little guy was holding up the line. He had his thumbs tucked into his overall straps and was taking deliberate "little guy" steps with larger than normal stride aspirations.
He had this grin on his face that was precious. It was apparent he was aware he was holding up the rest of the large dinner party. I exchanged big smiles with him.
A woman best described as of "mom age" looked at me as the boy passed and said , "we all have days like that".
I figured she was speaking of the little guy, nodded my head and replied: "10 grandchildren".
As I was walking to join my wife in the back - still smiling at the antics of the little guy- it occurred to me she may have simply been referencing my pose as, you know, "that older gentleman who was leaning against the table."
Heck, what the kid was doing - she was probably used to seeing.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
A MANDATE & A PAUSE BUTTON
The word "mandate" in our blog title is both a noun and a transitive verb.
Now, that first sentence is bound to win the prize for the most boring opening sentence ever recorded. However, I just couldn't get Snoopy's: "it was a cold and rainy night" to fit in. Stick with me on this.
The fact that the word fits both grammatical classifications is not surprising. What is surprising is what people do with their use of a "mandate".
We have a tendency in this country to give mandates to people. No, they are not commands. They are closer to total unconditional acceptance; and, they don't work.
My wife, Phyl, compares it to her recently buying a red onion, taking it home and after unwrapping the many layers, finding a rotten spot she just did not and could not anticipate.
We gave Nixon a mandate as he sought a second term - he gave us Watergate in return.
We gave Tiger Woods everything but the Navy Cross - he gave us a small number of groupies and a large amount of groping.
The people of Pittsburgh gave two time Super Bowl winner Ben Rothisberger a mandate and now Benny appears to be totally fixated on trying to give it back.
The problem with mandates is that there are a tremendous amount of people like Tiger or Ben who have difficulty determining what, if anything, they could ever do that we would not excuse or understand. They do not appreciate their responsibility to their mandate, nor. being fortunate.
When my working wife says sardonically to me, the retiree who just complained about having to wait in a line at McDonalds to get her a diet coke: "It must have been exhausting for you!" - she's right.
To Tiger's credit, he appears to understand that what he did was not a slip of the tongue, (don't go there!) but truly was his total abuse of the golfing publics mandate.
It matters not whether the offender is a politician, a member of the cloth, a teacher in middle school, or even the milkman whose route changed but continued to deliver milk to the Widow Jones.
We gave all of these people not only a mandate, but our trust. And yes, sadly they and many other people who are the recipients of our unbelievable stupidity -will continue to abuse it.
We are slow to recognize our input in "The Human Condition". We camouflage it under our outrage at our fallen heroes. We are fascinating.
We see a tall man of color approaching us at night on a dark street and quickly size up the situation. We then realize it's Michael Jordan. We frantically search for something for him to autograph or a question to ask . Alas and alack, the person turns out to be a Michael "lookalike", - on crack- who mugs us .
We played a part in that human transaction.
It's not just our heroes avarice, over-sexed personna, or lack of judgment that impacts us. It has as much to do with the feeling of superiority they acquire. Their "misplaced" feeling comes in a large measure from our "misplaced" outpouring of idolation and trust, without applying "the pause button."
We then say,"are these folks doing anything different than your brother,'The CPA', is doing with that Sunday School teacher? I expected as much from him the day I met him." Yeah, we had "a pause button" then, by golly.
The offenses committed by our heroes are similar to the syndrome wherein very intelligent people (VIP's) assume everybody else in the world is stupid. Therefore, they feel they can commit their deeds and voice their opinions with impunity as if they were written on stone tablets. They fear neither discovery nor rational decision making by their audience.
But, don't all of us know someone with a limited education who had both common sense and intelligence pouring out of every torn seam of their clothing? Their lack of formal education didn't get in the way of them simply saying to themselves, "HUH?"
So, why don't we do that with "the spinners" and "subject changers"?
I get so upset at the many "opposing views" written in response to the "our view" column by the editorial board of USA Today - who, occasionally do get it right.
Such a case occurred today when the USA Today "finally" took on the ethics (or lack of same) in Congress. It said basically the same thing about the Office of Congressional Ethics (OCE) that this blog and surely others must have covered recently.
The rebuttal was written by Michael Capuano, D, Mass, who headed a "bipartisan" task force on ethics enforcement. I imagine Mikey probably falls into that "highly intelligent" group we referenced and felt his reply would be as palatable and satisfying as my wife's cooking.
Mercifully, I won't issue an " item by item" veto here.
When someone says or does anything that just doesn't match up with what we know, it's time for us to consider taking back the mandate. A golfer, idolized by kids, who knows he is constantly being miked and still repeatedly uses 4 letter words after a missed shot, should give all of us an opportunity to hit that old pause button and say, "HUH?".
Our actions may benefit both parties.
Now, that first sentence is bound to win the prize for the most boring opening sentence ever recorded. However, I just couldn't get Snoopy's: "it was a cold and rainy night" to fit in. Stick with me on this.
The fact that the word fits both grammatical classifications is not surprising. What is surprising is what people do with their use of a "mandate".
We have a tendency in this country to give mandates to people. No, they are not commands. They are closer to total unconditional acceptance; and, they don't work.
My wife, Phyl, compares it to her recently buying a red onion, taking it home and after unwrapping the many layers, finding a rotten spot she just did not and could not anticipate.
We gave Nixon a mandate as he sought a second term - he gave us Watergate in return.
We gave Tiger Woods everything but the Navy Cross - he gave us a small number of groupies and a large amount of groping.
The people of Pittsburgh gave two time Super Bowl winner Ben Rothisberger a mandate and now Benny appears to be totally fixated on trying to give it back.
The problem with mandates is that there are a tremendous amount of people like Tiger or Ben who have difficulty determining what, if anything, they could ever do that we would not excuse or understand. They do not appreciate their responsibility to their mandate, nor. being fortunate.
When my working wife says sardonically to me, the retiree who just complained about having to wait in a line at McDonalds to get her a diet coke: "It must have been exhausting for you!" - she's right.
To Tiger's credit, he appears to understand that what he did was not a slip of the tongue, (don't go there!) but truly was his total abuse of the golfing publics mandate.
It matters not whether the offender is a politician, a member of the cloth, a teacher in middle school, or even the milkman whose route changed but continued to deliver milk to the Widow Jones.
We gave all of these people not only a mandate, but our trust. And yes, sadly they and many other people who are the recipients of our unbelievable stupidity -will continue to abuse it.
We are slow to recognize our input in "The Human Condition". We camouflage it under our outrage at our fallen heroes. We are fascinating.
We see a tall man of color approaching us at night on a dark street and quickly size up the situation. We then realize it's Michael Jordan. We frantically search for something for him to autograph or a question to ask . Alas and alack, the person turns out to be a Michael "lookalike", - on crack- who mugs us .
We played a part in that human transaction.
It's not just our heroes avarice, over-sexed personna, or lack of judgment that impacts us. It has as much to do with the feeling of superiority they acquire. Their "misplaced" feeling comes in a large measure from our "misplaced" outpouring of idolation and trust, without applying "the pause button."
We then say,"are these folks doing anything different than your brother,'The CPA', is doing with that Sunday School teacher? I expected as much from him the day I met him." Yeah, we had "a pause button" then, by golly.
The offenses committed by our heroes are similar to the syndrome wherein very intelligent people (VIP's) assume everybody else in the world is stupid. Therefore, they feel they can commit their deeds and voice their opinions with impunity as if they were written on stone tablets. They fear neither discovery nor rational decision making by their audience.
But, don't all of us know someone with a limited education who had both common sense and intelligence pouring out of every torn seam of their clothing? Their lack of formal education didn't get in the way of them simply saying to themselves, "HUH?"
So, why don't we do that with "the spinners" and "subject changers"?
I get so upset at the many "opposing views" written in response to the "our view" column by the editorial board of USA Today - who, occasionally do get it right.
Such a case occurred today when the USA Today "finally" took on the ethics (or lack of same) in Congress. It said basically the same thing about the Office of Congressional Ethics (OCE) that this blog and surely others must have covered recently.
The rebuttal was written by Michael Capuano, D, Mass, who headed a "bipartisan" task force on ethics enforcement. I imagine Mikey probably falls into that "highly intelligent" group we referenced and felt his reply would be as palatable and satisfying as my wife's cooking.
Mercifully, I won't issue an " item by item" veto here.
When someone says or does anything that just doesn't match up with what we know, it's time for us to consider taking back the mandate. A golfer, idolized by kids, who knows he is constantly being miked and still repeatedly uses 4 letter words after a missed shot, should give all of us an opportunity to hit that old pause button and say, "HUH?".
Our actions may benefit both parties.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
AROUND THIS GREAT COUNTRY OF OURS
West Virginia, Charleston: "The Vietnamese potbellied pig that has dodged police and humane officers since October was found in Sue Wagner's yard where she had fed the oinker for months. The pig also made trips to Donut Connection".
(OK, you're a cop going to your favorite supplier of free donuts - and you didn't notice a Potbelly Pig hanging around the coconut cremes? Please do not volunteer for stakeout duties.)
______________________________
North Carolina, Waynesville: "Fifteen businesses in the western part of the state have been approved for more than 1 million in low interest loans because of a rock slide in Haywood County that closed Route 40 and impacted on their bottom line."
(So, they don't write business interruption coverage in North Carolina?
"Honest, I never even saw those rocks hanging out over the road when I started my business. Some kids must have put them there later!"
Yeh, then there's the guy who gets stuck in your chimney during a robbery attempt and is now suing you because the chimney wasn't wide enough so as to allow access. And, that will make sense to you, too?)
_______________________________
Delaware, Symrna: "Police said reports of crime here dropped for the second year in a row in 2009. There were 20,000 calls for police service in 2009 - a 9% drop.
The number of drug or suspicious activity reports spiked by 550% in 2009. Police say there will be "an all-out effort to rid the town of drug crimes this year."
(Anybody figure that people may have been way too busy avoiding gangbangers shooting out their picture windows to be on the phone reporting someone was stealing their TV?)
_____________________________
Arizona, Flagstaff: "Engineers are putting the final touches on a ultra thin mirror they said will be a crucial part of a new telescope here . The $44 million telescope is expected to be the 5th largest in the continental U.S. and will be used to provide clues to show how the solar system began".)
(Yeah, right. What do you want to bet most of the time it will be facing the Mexican border?)
_____________________________
Alaska, Juneau: "State senators considered a bill Monday to make hatred, bias and prejudice aggravating factors in crimes committed in the state."
("C'mon gang. She's gone. Get over it!)
-------------------------------------------
(OK, you're a cop going to your favorite supplier of free donuts - and you didn't notice a Potbelly Pig hanging around the coconut cremes? Please do not volunteer for stakeout duties.)
______________________________
North Carolina, Waynesville: "Fifteen businesses in the western part of the state have been approved for more than 1 million in low interest loans because of a rock slide in Haywood County that closed Route 40 and impacted on their bottom line."
(So, they don't write business interruption coverage in North Carolina?
"Honest, I never even saw those rocks hanging out over the road when I started my business. Some kids must have put them there later!"
Yeh, then there's the guy who gets stuck in your chimney during a robbery attempt and is now suing you because the chimney wasn't wide enough so as to allow access. And, that will make sense to you, too?)
_______________________________
Delaware, Symrna: "Police said reports of crime here dropped for the second year in a row in 2009. There were 20,000 calls for police service in 2009 - a 9% drop.
The number of drug or suspicious activity reports spiked by 550% in 2009. Police say there will be "an all-out effort to rid the town of drug crimes this year."
(Anybody figure that people may have been way too busy avoiding gangbangers shooting out their picture windows to be on the phone reporting someone was stealing their TV?)
_____________________________
Arizona, Flagstaff: "Engineers are putting the final touches on a ultra thin mirror they said will be a crucial part of a new telescope here . The $44 million telescope is expected to be the 5th largest in the continental U.S. and will be used to provide clues to show how the solar system began".)
(Yeah, right. What do you want to bet most of the time it will be facing the Mexican border?)
_____________________________
Alaska, Juneau: "State senators considered a bill Monday to make hatred, bias and prejudice aggravating factors in crimes committed in the state."
("C'mon gang. She's gone. Get over it!)
-------------------------------------------
Monday, March 8, 2010
RANDOM THOUGHTS
I often wonder about the so-called investigative reporters who write those incredible articles for the weekly super market tabloid publications like: People, US, Star, National Enquirer, etc.
Apparently these writers have a very narrow and specific brand of expertise. It seems when one reveals things like, "President Obama Meets With Barbara Bush in a Virginia Love Nest", - none of the other periodicals even had a clue.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
You got to love the logic of the guy who was appalled at Senator Jim Bunnings stand against additional spending until we had a plan as to how we were going to pay for it - even having the gall to suggest we take it out of unused ill-advised stimulus money.
The guy wrote, "And, now Bunning tried to block a bill because he didn't know where it was going to come from? Where did it come from to wage war in two countries?"
Obviously, the guy wisely finds fault with us taking on large expenditures without knowing how we will pay for them - but, concludes:
"What the heck? We did it before - so why not now?
"Yeh, I did carjack you and beat you up. But, if I hadn't done it - someone else would have."
---------------------------------------------------------------
Apparently, the US Postal System is in trouble again. Somebody had the nerve to suggest perhaps they might want to concentrate their efforts on waste within their system.
Don't know how much the P.O. has changed in the past 50 years. Even a college kid lucky enough to work in the Post Office during Christmas and Summer vacations, could have helped the investigators way back then.
After graduating I worked for PNB Bank and went to various government buildings in Pittsburgh to comfirm Bankruptcy & Receivership status as well as perform DSB checks to identify liens and judgments that had been filed.
I had two kids then and one on the way. I couldn't help noticing while doing my investigating that many of the government "employees" (appointees?) read newspapers, magazines, and paperbacks. A few were also knitting things large enough to suggest it might be a Volkswagen.
Now, if the situation is still the same, maybe some government worker could possibly recount his/her whistleblowing stories in a "small" readable book that included a few vampires and some thinly clad women on the cover. Then we'd all be wiser - particularly our kids.
____________________________________
I recently received an E-mail entitled "Why I'm Glad I Am White" ( the subject of a future blog.)
The E-mail attributes all of it's conclusions to actor Michael Richards during a court speech, defending his rantings. I cannot locate any such court case.
Included in the long E-mail is much manifested in the statement: "We're not allowed to call ourselves Whites.".
The rationale is that Whites cannot have : A White Miss America contest - a United White College Fund -a White History month - White Entertainment Television - White Pride Day - A White College -etc, . It states : "if we tried to, you (whoever you are) would call us racists."
The E-mail concludes: We have lost most of our rights in this country because we won't stand up for ourselves! We need to "BE PROUD TO BE WHITE." Their point was that people of color - mainly blacks - could join various organizations to celebrate being black - but, whites couldn't.
Now, I don't know if "Kramer" actually said these things or not. If so, I'd like to call upon some really strange people who owe me favors and then seek out Mr. Richards .
I would tap him on the shoulder, and as the color transformation all over his body was taking place , say, "OK - You be black now, Michael!"
_______________________________
Have a great Monday!
Apparently these writers have a very narrow and specific brand of expertise. It seems when one reveals things like, "President Obama Meets With Barbara Bush in a Virginia Love Nest", - none of the other periodicals even had a clue.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
You got to love the logic of the guy who was appalled at Senator Jim Bunnings stand against additional spending until we had a plan as to how we were going to pay for it - even having the gall to suggest we take it out of unused ill-advised stimulus money.
The guy wrote, "And, now Bunning tried to block a bill because he didn't know where it was going to come from? Where did it come from to wage war in two countries?"
Obviously, the guy wisely finds fault with us taking on large expenditures without knowing how we will pay for them - but, concludes:
"What the heck? We did it before - so why not now?
"Yeh, I did carjack you and beat you up. But, if I hadn't done it - someone else would have."
---------------------------------------------------------------
Apparently, the US Postal System is in trouble again. Somebody had the nerve to suggest perhaps they might want to concentrate their efforts on waste within their system.
Don't know how much the P.O. has changed in the past 50 years. Even a college kid lucky enough to work in the Post Office during Christmas and Summer vacations, could have helped the investigators way back then.
After graduating I worked for PNB Bank and went to various government buildings in Pittsburgh to comfirm Bankruptcy & Receivership status as well as perform DSB checks to identify liens and judgments that had been filed.
I had two kids then and one on the way. I couldn't help noticing while doing my investigating that many of the government "employees" (appointees?) read newspapers, magazines, and paperbacks. A few were also knitting things large enough to suggest it might be a Volkswagen.
Now, if the situation is still the same, maybe some government worker could possibly recount his/her whistleblowing stories in a "small" readable book that included a few vampires and some thinly clad women on the cover. Then we'd all be wiser - particularly our kids.
____________________________________
I recently received an E-mail entitled "Why I'm Glad I Am White" ( the subject of a future blog.)
The E-mail attributes all of it's conclusions to actor Michael Richards during a court speech, defending his rantings. I cannot locate any such court case.
Included in the long E-mail is much manifested in the statement: "We're not allowed to call ourselves Whites.".
The rationale is that Whites cannot have : A White Miss America contest - a United White College Fund -a White History month - White Entertainment Television - White Pride Day - A White College -etc, . It states : "if we tried to, you (whoever you are) would call us racists."
The E-mail concludes: We have lost most of our rights in this country because we won't stand up for ourselves! We need to "BE PROUD TO BE WHITE." Their point was that people of color - mainly blacks - could join various organizations to celebrate being black - but, whites couldn't.
Now, I don't know if "Kramer" actually said these things or not. If so, I'd like to call upon some really strange people who owe me favors and then seek out Mr. Richards .
I would tap him on the shoulder, and as the color transformation all over his body was taking place , say, "OK - You be black now, Michael!"
_______________________________
Have a great Monday!
Friday, March 5, 2010
BASEBALL IN 2039.
It is the year 2039 - the bi-centennial of the origin of baseball by Abner Doubleday. Some things have changed - some have remained the same.
Major League Baseball has complete anti-trust protection. The Commissioner presently serves as a member of the Board of Directors for the top three richest baseball teams.
The World Series is now played each year in the Met's new stadium, which is located on what was previously the site of St. Patrick Cathedral.
ACLU discovered some obscure Separation of Church and State law about New York Landmarks. The commissioner's brother-in-law bought the property the next day. ACLU is on the fast track for naming rights. And, oh, the Pirates still have not had a winning season in 46 years.
Blue collar Pittsburgh fans, now convinced the Commisioners office would never help, got together with "The Brotherhoods Of Everything" and the unions shut down all Nutting business holdings - currently and ironically spread over "46" states.
The Pirates owner agreed to a firesale of the team to the citizens. He also agreed to pay off stadium mortage loan #3 which he had insisted in 2030 was the only way to rebuild their minor league system.
The Pirates had become entirely owned by the fans including all major and minor league players. They also had decision making rights previously held by "The Holy Trinity Managment Group"
.
In recognition of Pittsburgh's reputation as the "transfat capital of the world", they wisely purchased concession rights also. Every Tuesday was designated as " Half-Price Pierogi Day".
Despite all this, the citizens recognized they still needed a 21st century Ralph Kiner to keep people in their seats through the bottom of the 9th.
They decided to attempt to purchase the contract of outfielder Herb Goldberg from the N.Y. Yankees. Herb, a rookie sensation, hailed from North Dakota but decided to make a career change early in his life, following that whole mess about the public lynchings in Fargo.
In his first and only season in The Yankee's minor leagues he hit .556, drove in 194 RBI's, and struck 125 homers. The Yankees could not bring him up as they had no room on their roster.
He never played in New York. It seems Herb had a violent allergic reaction to "smut". He therefore could not ride the New York subways, now the only way to reach their stadium. Governor Cuomo, in his 12th term, had transformed all the streets to pedestrian malls and attractive parklets. Both tunnels were now closed to vehicular traffic and had subways running through them.
An offer of helicopter pick-up by the Yankees was turned down by Herb due to a fear of heights . He declared himself a free agent with rights similar to a number one hockey pick. Due to a pending investigation of the St. Patrick's deal, the Commissioner agreed.
Pittsburgh won the Herb lottery but his asking price was 500 million dollars, slightly more than the last repaving of the The Fort Pitt Tunnels.
The citizens baseball finance committee was desperate and tried to identify the most valuable product they could sell to raise money. In a unanimous decision they gave The Greek Orthdox Church and The Pirate Parrot exclusive rights to hold weekly Baklava caravan sales to citizens in all contiguous counties.
No other sales of the pastry were to be allowed for one year. (as expected, there were black market pastries available: $20 for a "Bak", and $15 for a Lava - which was nutless.)
Hundreds of Pittsburgh women with Greek ancestry - all dressed in black dresses - worked night and day baking the pastries and raised the largest part of the $500 million needed.
Herb was everything the Pirate citizen owners could have expected. He led the league in all batting categories. Their record was 50 and 1. The only game they lost was on the day he was not in the lineup. He had inadvertently swallowed a seed from a Farkleberry Tart that had been left on the training table & was resting in Presby.
Herb was truly famous. Gambling was now legal everywhere in the Commonwealth. Beserk citizens, before agreeing to pay their dry cleaning bills, insisted on a coin toss with the merchants, most of whom were willing to go "best 3 out of 5", due to competetion.
Sadly, the BOOG (Brotherly Order of Gamblers) made Herb a ridiculous "under the counter" offer if he would agree to throw games. Herb, who knew you only had so many years of major league baseball in you, accepted both quickly and quietly.
Immediately, the Pirates fell into a prolonged slump, had a record of 60 and 75 and were at risk of having one more losing season. Even Mayor Collier was upset, as he had taken "the over".
The citizens were now highly suspicious and decided to question Herb at a televised meeting on WQED during their bi-weekly fund raiser.
Herb was amazed at the anger of the crowd who were yelling at the top of their lungs, standing on their seats, chewing their brauts, dripping kraut juice on the floor, and wiping their mouths on their sleeves.
The Mayor finally stood up and said: "Look Herb, you were our last hope. - our savior - our personal representative - someone we knew who would reward us for our confidence in you.
We gave you every cent we could raise and campaigned all through Western Pennsylvania for you. Our children went door to door carrying "Help Us Get Herb" buckets. And now, you've ignored us and the needs of our citizens because the "BOOG" gave you more money? We don't understand. How could you do this?"
Herb looked at them, shook his head, and said softly, "Did you forget I was a young Congressman back in North Dakota, before I decided to become a baseball player?"
Major League Baseball has complete anti-trust protection. The Commissioner presently serves as a member of the Board of Directors for the top three richest baseball teams.
The World Series is now played each year in the Met's new stadium, which is located on what was previously the site of St. Patrick Cathedral.
ACLU discovered some obscure Separation of Church and State law about New York Landmarks. The commissioner's brother-in-law bought the property the next day. ACLU is on the fast track for naming rights. And, oh, the Pirates still have not had a winning season in 46 years.
Blue collar Pittsburgh fans, now convinced the Commisioners office would never help, got together with "The Brotherhoods Of Everything" and the unions shut down all Nutting business holdings - currently and ironically spread over "46" states.
The Pirates owner agreed to a firesale of the team to the citizens. He also agreed to pay off stadium mortage loan #3 which he had insisted in 2030 was the only way to rebuild their minor league system.
The Pirates had become entirely owned by the fans including all major and minor league players. They also had decision making rights previously held by "The Holy Trinity Managment Group"
.
In recognition of Pittsburgh's reputation as the "transfat capital of the world", they wisely purchased concession rights also. Every Tuesday was designated as " Half-Price Pierogi Day".
Despite all this, the citizens recognized they still needed a 21st century Ralph Kiner to keep people in their seats through the bottom of the 9th.
They decided to attempt to purchase the contract of outfielder Herb Goldberg from the N.Y. Yankees. Herb, a rookie sensation, hailed from North Dakota but decided to make a career change early in his life, following that whole mess about the public lynchings in Fargo.
In his first and only season in The Yankee's minor leagues he hit .556, drove in 194 RBI's, and struck 125 homers. The Yankees could not bring him up as they had no room on their roster.
He never played in New York. It seems Herb had a violent allergic reaction to "smut". He therefore could not ride the New York subways, now the only way to reach their stadium. Governor Cuomo, in his 12th term, had transformed all the streets to pedestrian malls and attractive parklets. Both tunnels were now closed to vehicular traffic and had subways running through them.
An offer of helicopter pick-up by the Yankees was turned down by Herb due to a fear of heights . He declared himself a free agent with rights similar to a number one hockey pick. Due to a pending investigation of the St. Patrick's deal, the Commissioner agreed.
Pittsburgh won the Herb lottery but his asking price was 500 million dollars, slightly more than the last repaving of the The Fort Pitt Tunnels.
The citizens baseball finance committee was desperate and tried to identify the most valuable product they could sell to raise money. In a unanimous decision they gave The Greek Orthdox Church and The Pirate Parrot exclusive rights to hold weekly Baklava caravan sales to citizens in all contiguous counties.
No other sales of the pastry were to be allowed for one year. (as expected, there were black market pastries available: $20 for a "Bak", and $15 for a Lava - which was nutless.)
Hundreds of Pittsburgh women with Greek ancestry - all dressed in black dresses - worked night and day baking the pastries and raised the largest part of the $500 million needed.
Herb was everything the Pirate citizen owners could have expected. He led the league in all batting categories. Their record was 50 and 1. The only game they lost was on the day he was not in the lineup. He had inadvertently swallowed a seed from a Farkleberry Tart that had been left on the training table & was resting in Presby.
Herb was truly famous. Gambling was now legal everywhere in the Commonwealth. Beserk citizens, before agreeing to pay their dry cleaning bills, insisted on a coin toss with the merchants, most of whom were willing to go "best 3 out of 5", due to competetion.
Sadly, the BOOG (Brotherly Order of Gamblers) made Herb a ridiculous "under the counter" offer if he would agree to throw games. Herb, who knew you only had so many years of major league baseball in you, accepted both quickly and quietly.
Immediately, the Pirates fell into a prolonged slump, had a record of 60 and 75 and were at risk of having one more losing season. Even Mayor Collier was upset, as he had taken "the over".
The citizens were now highly suspicious and decided to question Herb at a televised meeting on WQED during their bi-weekly fund raiser.
Herb was amazed at the anger of the crowd who were yelling at the top of their lungs, standing on their seats, chewing their brauts, dripping kraut juice on the floor, and wiping their mouths on their sleeves.
The Mayor finally stood up and said: "Look Herb, you were our last hope. - our savior - our personal representative - someone we knew who would reward us for our confidence in you.
We gave you every cent we could raise and campaigned all through Western Pennsylvania for you. Our children went door to door carrying "Help Us Get Herb" buckets. And now, you've ignored us and the needs of our citizens because the "BOOG" gave you more money? We don't understand. How could you do this?"
Herb looked at them, shook his head, and said softly, "Did you forget I was a young Congressman back in North Dakota, before I decided to become a baseball player?"
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Honest Injun!
When we were young we were taught a story about a dispute in Western Pennsylvania that had consequences down the road.
It seems that at one time there was a large Indian population in the mountains outside of Pittsburgh , the largest of which was the "Marsupial Indians tribe." It is their history that I share today. The details and names are a little shakey but, I'll tell you what I can.
The Chief of the tribe was allegedly named Indolence. He was middle aged and had been around for a while. He remained fit by leading settler raids from a 5 mile distance . However, it was no secret that if he could arrange the marriage of his beautiful daughter and only child, Running Stream", he might cash in his 401-K and settle down.
Running Stream was very independent. She chose Tuesday to clean her clothes on the rocks and in the stream for which she was named; while the other women were home ironing Monday's wash.
She was stubborn and particularly as it had application to "Big Dude", her dad's marital choice for her. He was the biggest and strongest indian in the Marsupial tribe. She feared she might never survive childbirth and obtaining coverage for a C- section was totally out of the question back then.
Without anyone knowing it, she had begun surreptitiously seeing another brave on her washing day, out of the view of Indolence and the rest of the tribe. Her scrawny but personable suitor wasn't even a Marsupial , but a member of an almost extinct tribe called "The Homex".
This tribe was so small they didn't even have a stream of their own. They had to visit the Marsupial's stream - on off peak days - before riparian rights.
There was some irony here as the name of the brave that Running Stream was meeting was "Falling Rocks". She felt destiny surely brought them together here on her washing day. She also liked it that, due to Falling Rocks's small tribe background, he was not hung up on the usual male and female stereotypes.
He told her he enjoyed doing his own washing. He claimed to be pretty good at teepee cleaning too, and bragged of an absolute Type A personality approach when it came to removing the Buffalo grease from his barbeque grill. He used a formula cleaner that he had invented.
Running Stream was clearly attracted to his many stories and talk of other domestic talents learned from his mother and grandmother, who now ran a trading post in Pittsburgh's Strip District.
She was no dummy. She saw an opportunity to also work outside of the home someday, but, feared their romance was doomed. She hated to tell him this as she kind of liked having him around. He had taught her several new washing techniques that cut the chore in half and was recently walking her through a unique method of folding contour sheets.
Finally, Falling Rocks professed his love for her and asked her to marry him. She felt she had no choice but to explain to her little friend that marriage was out of the question due to her Father's preference - a true indian stud.
Falling Rocks could think of nothing else but wedding Running Stream. He eagerly anticipated his Tuesday morning sessions with her at the stream but was carefully formulating a plan.After several weeks he surprised her and asked to be taken to her Father where he could plead his case.
Running Stream thought, "There goes the Amway gig! I know Daddy will never accept him and when Big Dude hears of this he is surely going to beat the snot out of my beloved."
Despite this, she took Falling Rocks to meet her Dad. Sure enough, he wasn't that thrilled but was getting tired of her stiffing him on the marriage bit. He said, "If your brave can beat Big Dude in a fight I will agree to that marriage". He did this only after receiving the reluctant promise from Running Stream that should he lose, she must marry Big Dude.
Indolence was no dummy. He saw that Big Dude was the larger brave by almost three to one. A typical male, the chief figured he might finally have a worthy male heir and a good succesion.
The fight was scheduled for the following Tuesday at noon. All were in attendance and Big Dude quickly gained the upper hand. He almost pinned Falling Rocks twenty-six times but the quicker and skinnier brave kept squeezing out of his hold.
Finally, as Big Dude was rushing toward him at Jim Thorpe speed, Falling Rocks reached into his secret loincloth pocket and threw a handful of several crushed cleansing pellets into his face. Big Dude screamed. Blinded, he fell into a hole filled with upright spears that Falling Rocks had cleverly constructed late the previous evening.
Big Dude died instantly. The Chief, Indolence, went berserk and ordered his braves to kill Falling Rocks.
The victorious brave was not only wise but swift. He had devised a clever escape route that would allow him to outdistance the other braves and flee to an area around the lower rim of the mountains. Off he went.
They hunted him for days but came back empty handed. Running Stream wore sackcloth and ashes for a year, leaving the reservation only occasionally with a few tools carefully hidden under her mourning outfit.
Despite the passage of time she remained unwilling to give up in her search for her lover.
Even now it is still quite common for folks traveling on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, a road that was cut through the mountains, to see signs reminding them of this unrequited love story.
The signs say simply: "Watch Out For Falling Rocks."
It seems that at one time there was a large Indian population in the mountains outside of Pittsburgh , the largest of which was the "Marsupial Indians tribe." It is their history that I share today. The details and names are a little shakey but, I'll tell you what I can.
The Chief of the tribe was allegedly named Indolence. He was middle aged and had been around for a while. He remained fit by leading settler raids from a 5 mile distance . However, it was no secret that if he could arrange the marriage of his beautiful daughter and only child, Running Stream", he might cash in his 401-K and settle down.
Running Stream was very independent. She chose Tuesday to clean her clothes on the rocks and in the stream for which she was named; while the other women were home ironing Monday's wash.
She was stubborn and particularly as it had application to "Big Dude", her dad's marital choice for her. He was the biggest and strongest indian in the Marsupial tribe. She feared she might never survive childbirth and obtaining coverage for a C- section was totally out of the question back then.
Without anyone knowing it, she had begun surreptitiously seeing another brave on her washing day, out of the view of Indolence and the rest of the tribe. Her scrawny but personable suitor wasn't even a Marsupial , but a member of an almost extinct tribe called "The Homex".
This tribe was so small they didn't even have a stream of their own. They had to visit the Marsupial's stream - on off peak days - before riparian rights.
There was some irony here as the name of the brave that Running Stream was meeting was "Falling Rocks". She felt destiny surely brought them together here on her washing day. She also liked it that, due to Falling Rocks's small tribe background, he was not hung up on the usual male and female stereotypes.
He told her he enjoyed doing his own washing. He claimed to be pretty good at teepee cleaning too, and bragged of an absolute Type A personality approach when it came to removing the Buffalo grease from his barbeque grill. He used a formula cleaner that he had invented.
Running Stream was clearly attracted to his many stories and talk of other domestic talents learned from his mother and grandmother, who now ran a trading post in Pittsburgh's Strip District.
She was no dummy. She saw an opportunity to also work outside of the home someday, but, feared their romance was doomed. She hated to tell him this as she kind of liked having him around. He had taught her several new washing techniques that cut the chore in half and was recently walking her through a unique method of folding contour sheets.
Finally, Falling Rocks professed his love for her and asked her to marry him. She felt she had no choice but to explain to her little friend that marriage was out of the question due to her Father's preference - a true indian stud.
Falling Rocks could think of nothing else but wedding Running Stream. He eagerly anticipated his Tuesday morning sessions with her at the stream but was carefully formulating a plan.After several weeks he surprised her and asked to be taken to her Father where he could plead his case.
Running Stream thought, "There goes the Amway gig! I know Daddy will never accept him and when Big Dude hears of this he is surely going to beat the snot out of my beloved."
Despite this, she took Falling Rocks to meet her Dad. Sure enough, he wasn't that thrilled but was getting tired of her stiffing him on the marriage bit. He said, "If your brave can beat Big Dude in a fight I will agree to that marriage". He did this only after receiving the reluctant promise from Running Stream that should he lose, she must marry Big Dude.
Indolence was no dummy. He saw that Big Dude was the larger brave by almost three to one. A typical male, the chief figured he might finally have a worthy male heir and a good succesion.
The fight was scheduled for the following Tuesday at noon. All were in attendance and Big Dude quickly gained the upper hand. He almost pinned Falling Rocks twenty-six times but the quicker and skinnier brave kept squeezing out of his hold.
Finally, as Big Dude was rushing toward him at Jim Thorpe speed, Falling Rocks reached into his secret loincloth pocket and threw a handful of several crushed cleansing pellets into his face. Big Dude screamed. Blinded, he fell into a hole filled with upright spears that Falling Rocks had cleverly constructed late the previous evening.
Big Dude died instantly. The Chief, Indolence, went berserk and ordered his braves to kill Falling Rocks.
The victorious brave was not only wise but swift. He had devised a clever escape route that would allow him to outdistance the other braves and flee to an area around the lower rim of the mountains. Off he went.
They hunted him for days but came back empty handed. Running Stream wore sackcloth and ashes for a year, leaving the reservation only occasionally with a few tools carefully hidden under her mourning outfit.
Despite the passage of time she remained unwilling to give up in her search for her lover.
Even now it is still quite common for folks traveling on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, a road that was cut through the mountains, to see signs reminding them of this unrequited love story.
The signs say simply: "Watch Out For Falling Rocks."
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
The more things change - - - - -
The other day, I sent a note to my sister-in-law out in Arizona regarding political corruption.
I used Rep. Charles Rangel as an illustration. When Charlie recently heard that the House Ethics panel found him guilty of taking himself and his associates on freebie Caribbean trips, but did not censure him, his response was,"That's disturbing".
As I suggested to Doris - or "D" : "Charlie, it's disturbing to a lot of us."
Today in The USA Today (on page 4) - there is a headline: "Watchdog Group seek revamp of ethic rules". The article briefly addresses the concerns of independent groups regarding the failure of congressional ethics folks to act responsibly . ("H-E-L-L-O?")
Sadly, this popular paper chose not to give more attention to a situation that is the very epitome of why we as citizens sometimes wonder if we are doomed to live in the world of "Catch 22".
Then, I recalled the wonderful satire of cartoonist Alfred Gerald Caplin, known to us old folks as Al Capp. Al was a curmudgeon who often made fun of political figures in the 40's thru the 70's via his popular Lil Abner comic strip. I devoured it seven days a week.
One of Capps many Lil Abner characters was Senator Jack S (say it fast) Phogbound. The good Senator was suggested to be a "corrupt and a conspiratorial blowhard". In the comic strip he is seen wearing a coonskin hat and carrying a ramrod rifle to show he remains a " trustworthy good old boy", worthy of the folks in Dogpatch - Lil Abner's Kentucky home.
Another Capp character was General Bullmoose who was characterized as "the epitome of a ruthless capitalist." Bullmoose's motto was, "What's good for Bullmoose is good for the USA!"
The accusations against Charlie and other congressional figures were that they were inappropriately accepting money from corporations and lobbyists. The Independent Office of Congressional Ethics (OCE) investigated and made a referral to the long standing House ethics panel ,which is controlled by members of Congress. ("Mr. Fox, welcome to my henhouse.")
The OCE "referred' instead of "confronted" because Congress, in their infinite wisdom, gave them no subpoena power. It appears they can only confront alleged violators by "gumming them to death."
The OCE was established after the House passed ethics rules in 2007 following Nancy Pelosi's observation that there was a "culture of corruption" in existance. (Sorry Nance, didn't work.")
This past Friday the House ethics panel exonerated a dozen lawmakers in two separate investigations and never interviewed any of the accused.
The OCE , in making the referral, had in one instance "probable cause" that Representative Pete Viscloskey "took donations in a manner that suggested contributions were linked to official actions." "Petey", a member of the House Appropriations Committee, held a 2008 fundraiser attended by his top aides and defense contractors a week before he requested contracts for some of those same donors.
"General Bullmose - I'd like you to meet Senator Jack S. Phogbound" - might well have been one of Al Capps panels. He would then no doubt have correctly viscerated both men and the political environment in which they operate.
Alphonse Karr said, "The more things change - the more they remain the same".
But, it was more fun when Al Capp was involved.
Maybe that's because - back then - we were involved too.
I used Rep. Charles Rangel as an illustration. When Charlie recently heard that the House Ethics panel found him guilty of taking himself and his associates on freebie Caribbean trips, but did not censure him, his response was,"That's disturbing".
As I suggested to Doris - or "D" : "Charlie, it's disturbing to a lot of us."
Today in The USA Today (on page 4) - there is a headline: "Watchdog Group seek revamp of ethic rules". The article briefly addresses the concerns of independent groups regarding the failure of congressional ethics folks to act responsibly . ("H-E-L-L-O?")
Sadly, this popular paper chose not to give more attention to a situation that is the very epitome of why we as citizens sometimes wonder if we are doomed to live in the world of "Catch 22".
Then, I recalled the wonderful satire of cartoonist Alfred Gerald Caplin, known to us old folks as Al Capp. Al was a curmudgeon who often made fun of political figures in the 40's thru the 70's via his popular Lil Abner comic strip. I devoured it seven days a week.
One of Capps many Lil Abner characters was Senator Jack S (say it fast) Phogbound. The good Senator was suggested to be a "corrupt and a conspiratorial blowhard". In the comic strip he is seen wearing a coonskin hat and carrying a ramrod rifle to show he remains a " trustworthy good old boy", worthy of the folks in Dogpatch - Lil Abner's Kentucky home.
Another Capp character was General Bullmoose who was characterized as "the epitome of a ruthless capitalist." Bullmoose's motto was, "What's good for Bullmoose is good for the USA!"
The accusations against Charlie and other congressional figures were that they were inappropriately accepting money from corporations and lobbyists. The Independent Office of Congressional Ethics (OCE) investigated and made a referral to the long standing House ethics panel ,which is controlled by members of Congress. ("Mr. Fox, welcome to my henhouse.")
The OCE "referred' instead of "confronted" because Congress, in their infinite wisdom, gave them no subpoena power. It appears they can only confront alleged violators by "gumming them to death."
The OCE was established after the House passed ethics rules in 2007 following Nancy Pelosi's observation that there was a "culture of corruption" in existance. (Sorry Nance, didn't work.")
This past Friday the House ethics panel exonerated a dozen lawmakers in two separate investigations and never interviewed any of the accused.
The OCE , in making the referral, had in one instance "probable cause" that Representative Pete Viscloskey "took donations in a manner that suggested contributions were linked to official actions." "Petey", a member of the House Appropriations Committee, held a 2008 fundraiser attended by his top aides and defense contractors a week before he requested contracts for some of those same donors.
"General Bullmose - I'd like you to meet Senator Jack S. Phogbound" - might well have been one of Al Capps panels. He would then no doubt have correctly viscerated both men and the political environment in which they operate.
Alphonse Karr said, "The more things change - the more they remain the same".
But, it was more fun when Al Capp was involved.
Maybe that's because - back then - we were involved too.
In Remembrance Of Me
While driving to MacDonalds in today's morning rush hour traffic, my mind started to ruminate.
In my rumination I pictured a church or auditorium - or "bingo in the basement" type of meeting place. There were people present. The purpose of the meeting was to hold a wake for old "J. Bar."
While I am seldom at a loss for words, I wondered as I drove: "What would I like to say to them?"
They held a wake for Marilda, a friend of mine. A friend read Marilly's last comments. As expected, from a truly warm and funny lady, she mentioned everyone favorably and with good humor.
However, she managed to avoid any comment, positive or negative, about her husband, - the widower - who she knew had been cheating on her for years. We looked at him up in the first row, sitting with his latest squeeze - and smiled.
Lacking that sort of will power, I decided my comments would go something like this:"I want to thank you for coming - all six of you - as I know the rest were deterred by the sunny 75 degree weather."
"My request of you is that you can best remember me by doing the following:
When stopped for a unusually long light that has your patience at the breaking point, and the light finally changes to green, would you hurry through the light so that the ones behind you who are equally frustrated , can enjoy the same privilege as yourself?
When sitting in your car behind someone who must be doing at least a months worth of ATM banking - would you please be so kind as to pull your car forward after completing your own transaction - so the guy behind you doesn't have to wait while you count your money - examine the balance - and put the bank card in it's proper location?
Next, before entering the 14 item or less checkout line would you please attempt to count the items in your cart? When you get to 30, could you please consider moving over to one of the lines marked 'greedy pig'?
Failing to find any handicapped parking spaces for yourself -who are planning on running a marathon the following week- when you finish your weeks shopping in the 14 items or less line - could you please not leave your cart in the parking spot you did find and are about to vacate, thus, blocking another from entering it?"
Finally, if you are over 6 foot 3 inches - male or female - and you see anyone doing any of the above - which YOU surely would not do - would you please walk up to the person who did these things - punch the guy in the mouth and say - 'Barry says Hi'?"
"Thank you. That's how I would like to be remembered."
There was something else I wanted to add but the drivers behind me interrrupted my rumination with all that horn honking, yelling, and finger pointing.
"Amen."
In my rumination I pictured a church or auditorium - or "bingo in the basement" type of meeting place. There were people present. The purpose of the meeting was to hold a wake for old "J. Bar."
While I am seldom at a loss for words, I wondered as I drove: "What would I like to say to them?"
They held a wake for Marilda, a friend of mine. A friend read Marilly's last comments. As expected, from a truly warm and funny lady, she mentioned everyone favorably and with good humor.
However, she managed to avoid any comment, positive or negative, about her husband, - the widower - who she knew had been cheating on her for years. We looked at him up in the first row, sitting with his latest squeeze - and smiled.
Lacking that sort of will power, I decided my comments would go something like this:"I want to thank you for coming - all six of you - as I know the rest were deterred by the sunny 75 degree weather."
"My request of you is that you can best remember me by doing the following:
When stopped for a unusually long light that has your patience at the breaking point, and the light finally changes to green, would you hurry through the light so that the ones behind you who are equally frustrated , can enjoy the same privilege as yourself?
When sitting in your car behind someone who must be doing at least a months worth of ATM banking - would you please be so kind as to pull your car forward after completing your own transaction - so the guy behind you doesn't have to wait while you count your money - examine the balance - and put the bank card in it's proper location?
Next, before entering the 14 item or less checkout line would you please attempt to count the items in your cart? When you get to 30, could you please consider moving over to one of the lines marked 'greedy pig'?
Failing to find any handicapped parking spaces for yourself -who are planning on running a marathon the following week- when you finish your weeks shopping in the 14 items or less line - could you please not leave your cart in the parking spot you did find and are about to vacate, thus, blocking another from entering it?"
Finally, if you are over 6 foot 3 inches - male or female - and you see anyone doing any of the above - which YOU surely would not do - would you please walk up to the person who did these things - punch the guy in the mouth and say - 'Barry says Hi'?"
"Thank you. That's how I would like to be remembered."
There was something else I wanted to add but the drivers behind me interrrupted my rumination with all that horn honking, yelling, and finger pointing.
"Amen."
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Just a Little Thing, but - - -
It has been my good fortune to be the Father of 4 kids and the grandfather of 9. I will always be grateful to their Mom who is grandmother to this complete baseball team roster.
That's a lot of babies. Now, due to my wife Phyllis, her son Ethan, and daughter-in-love Jenn, another baby has entered my life: Liam.
A photo of him - under a month old - striking the pose of Rodin's " The Thinker", presently serves as my computer screen saver. Although there is no Sullivan blood flowing through this little guy, I say hello and goodbye to him at least once a day.
I'm a sucker for little kids and will stop dead in my tracks in a restaurant, at a mall, or while window shopping -just to watch their antics.
Unfortunately, nowadays, one finds that any overt recognition by a man of the presence of a child - or his making an attempt to communicate with them - will often be greeted with displeasure on the part of Mom.
It's a shame, but, it's understandable. Things have changed - drastically.
There are many communities where a door cannot be kept unlocked, a child untethered, or the smile of a stranger ignored. It is easily understood how a young mother learns to adopt the advice from Hill Street Blues:"Hey, let's be careful out there!"
What is not as easily understood is how any adult would pick a child as his/her predatory target. Perhaps, I've caught too many episodes of Steve Wilkos but, that totally disgusts me.
There is no naivite in that comment. I have probably studied human behavior more than "the average bear" Despite that, I'm convinced they should never be given a second or third chance to repeat their sick activities. One only has to observe firsthand what molestation did to some really fine people.
Back to the good stuff.
There is nothing like the "clean wholesome" feeling you receive in holding a new baby's cheek next to your own or smelling that new young skin. For me, it brings back a lot of good memories.
.
It's puzzling to me why Johnson & Johnson has not developed and marketed a fragrance that they named "Eau de clean baby".
The word "clean" is inserted in the quote to acknowledge anybody who has changed the diaper of a baby who has consumed a combination of strained peas and squash.
Of all God's many gifts to us, that "little thing" - has to be in my top five.
That's a lot of babies. Now, due to my wife Phyllis, her son Ethan, and daughter-in-love Jenn, another baby has entered my life: Liam.
A photo of him - under a month old - striking the pose of Rodin's " The Thinker", presently serves as my computer screen saver. Although there is no Sullivan blood flowing through this little guy, I say hello and goodbye to him at least once a day.
I'm a sucker for little kids and will stop dead in my tracks in a restaurant, at a mall, or while window shopping -just to watch their antics.
Unfortunately, nowadays, one finds that any overt recognition by a man of the presence of a child - or his making an attempt to communicate with them - will often be greeted with displeasure on the part of Mom.
It's a shame, but, it's understandable. Things have changed - drastically.
There are many communities where a door cannot be kept unlocked, a child untethered, or the smile of a stranger ignored. It is easily understood how a young mother learns to adopt the advice from Hill Street Blues:"Hey, let's be careful out there!"
What is not as easily understood is how any adult would pick a child as his/her predatory target. Perhaps, I've caught too many episodes of Steve Wilkos but, that totally disgusts me.
There is no naivite in that comment. I have probably studied human behavior more than "the average bear" Despite that, I'm convinced they should never be given a second or third chance to repeat their sick activities. One only has to observe firsthand what molestation did to some really fine people.
Back to the good stuff.
There is nothing like the "clean wholesome" feeling you receive in holding a new baby's cheek next to your own or smelling that new young skin. For me, it brings back a lot of good memories.
.
It's puzzling to me why Johnson & Johnson has not developed and marketed a fragrance that they named "Eau de clean baby".
The word "clean" is inserted in the quote to acknowledge anybody who has changed the diaper of a baby who has consumed a combination of strained peas and squash.
Of all God's many gifts to us, that "little thing" - has to be in my top five.
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