'YOU GOTTA KNOW WHEN TO HOLD - AND WHEN TO FOLD".
Great song by Kenny Rogers. But how do we know when that is?
Always a puzzle for me to solve when the question involves personal investments. Let's just say
I wouldn't be all that anxious to tally up my score on Facebook.
However, based on the ever increasing almost daily swings before the bell rings at closing time, it would appear I'm not alone. Many folks have struggled with the conumdrum posed by Kenny.
Failing to fold at the right time is not limited to the market either. Folks have won and lost fortunes after debating their final choice at the betting window. Quite often they've backed the wrong horse and spent a lot of time searching for someone else's tickets strewing the grandstand floor.
Decisions - Decisions- Decisions.
Some of these challenges we pass on to our thoughtful kids, especially when Hallmark or personal calendars suggest to them it's time to buy Dad that "just right" gift for the appropriate (?) occasion.
.The thing is that - at a certain age for most of us middle class guys - we basically have all the creature comforts necessary to enjoy retirement, and thus present a tough target to hit..
My answer is either, "don't need anything but much appreciate the thought", "put it on your kid's student loans" etc.
One response that appears to be workable for both parties is:"Hey, I can always use a gift certificate for Amazon."
The thinking here is that although there is nothing on my gift bucket list, maybe that will change.
Perhaps down the road while sitting in the recliner and attempting unsuccessfully to turn on CNN and NOT get a commercial immediately, I may spot something there I can't possibly do without.
Could be I'll feel a sudden and possibly irrational desire to get one of those robot sweepers that picks up marbles before docking itself and awaits you to mosey over with an outstretched hand and stroke the head of the sweeper in a well deserved display of gratitude.
Then, possibly, as a feel good confirming follow-up, I'll mutter something totally indiscernible like: "Looks like our work is done here, Tonto.".
So, let's sum this up and possibly reach a conclusion to our search - one that in my case is usually accompanied by gazing deeply into the bathroom mirror for a heart to heart talk with myself:.
"Let's see - you're semi-comfortable financially, you've learned your lessons on picking stocks that
immediately fell off the grid, your floors are relatively clean, you've satisfied a comfy need for both you and your kids, and you're turning into a Liberal after over 60 years of voting Republican?"
Hmmm, maybe you Have mastered that whole "hold and fold" thing.
Thank you Donald.
Thursday, May 23, 2019
Saturday, February 23, 2019
MORE RAMBLINGS
JUST WONDERING:
HOW DID ALL OF THOSE LONELY RUSSIAN WOMEN GET MY EMAIL ADDRESS?
LOT'S OF QUESTIONS FOR THIS OLD OCTOGENARIAN TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF TODAY'S MORES.
WHAT IS THE STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS (IN YEARS) FOR OUR FOOLISH JUVENILE
BEHAVIOR? (OR, DOES WEARING BLACK FACE HAVE NONE?)
A CONFESSION: I ONCE PARTICIPATED IN A MINSTREL SHOW.
NOW, I DIDN'T WEAR BLACK FACE ONLY BECAUSE I WAS MR. INTERLOCUTER- THE SINGING WHITE MASTER OF CEREMONIES FOR THE REST OF THE WHITE CUB SCOUTS WHO DID WEAR BLACKFACE. THIS LATTER CHOICE WAS OBVIOUSLY DUE TO THE INSISTANCE OF OUR BIGOTTED WHITE DEN MOTHER MRS. BASH.
(SHE NEVER APOLOGIZED FOR HER ACTIONS - WHICH I THOUGHT AT THE TIME WAS VERY WHITE OF HER)
WILL MY MOURNFUL CHILD SOPRANO RENDITION OF THE SONG "CHLOE" COME BACK TO HAUNT ME?
IS CHIEF WAHOO ROLLING AROUND IN HIS GRAVE NOW THAT HIS IMAGE HAS BEEN SOCIALLY BANNED? SEEMS LIKE A CRUDE TRICK TO DO TO SOMEONE WHO WARMED MY HEART AS A CHILD POURING OVER THE OLD STEVE ROPER COMIC STRIP WHERE THE TWO INTERACTED - UNAWARE OF THEIR BOORISH BEHAVIOR.
DID THE LONE RANGER REALLY SEND TONTO INTO TOWN TO GATHER NEEDED INFORMATION DESPITE HIS KNOWLEDGE THAT MEANT TONTO WOULD SURELY GET BEAT UP BY THE TOWN FOLKS?
WHY DID HE REFUSES TO TAKE THE SAME OPPORTUNITY TO MEET AND GREET THE LOCALS? WAS IT DUE TO HIS AWARENESS OF POSSIBLY EXPOSING HIMSELF TO THE IDENTICAL FATE?
ACCORDING TO BILL COSBY THAT BEHAVIOR CONTINUED UNTIL TONTO FINALLY SAID "ENOUGH - KEMO SABE!" - FORCING "KEMO" TO ADOPT THE OLD PROSPECTOR DISGUISE AND DO THE DIRTY DEED HIMSELF.
AND WHO IS GOING TO REFUSE TO BELIEVE COSBY?
(AND, OF COURSE, I ASSUME THAT MEANS I AM ALSO A BIGOT.)
WELL, SO MUCH FOR TONTO SAVING THE RANGERS LIFE AS THE SOLE SURVIVOR AFTER THE AMBUSH BY THE EVIL BUTCH CAVENDISH GANG. TALK ABOUT A LACK OF WHITE MAN'S GRATITUDE..
AND WHY DID "LONE"' GET TO RIDE A BEAUTIFUL WHITE STALLION WHILE TONTO WAS STUCK WITH SOME MIXED BREED CALLED "PAINT?
WASN'T THAT ENOUGH TO CAUSE US TO BE SUSPICIOUS OF CREATOR FRAN STRYKER'S TRUE HIDDEN BIAS?.
MAKES YOU WONDER. RATHER THAN CHASING WHITE WOMEN - DID THE DUO SIT ALONE AROUND THE CAMPFIRE AT NIGHT DISCUSSING THE CURRENT STATUS OF RACIAL BEHAVIOR IN THE OLD WEST - OR PLAYING A VERSION OF "OLD MAID"
FOR STAKES OF SILVER BULLETS?
WHILE I MIGHT ALSO QUESTION THE DATING HABITS OF THE TWO -THAT OPENS ANOTHER WHOLE BAG OF INSENSITIVITY. SO LET'S GO ON.
WERE GENERAL CUSTER AND HIS TROOPS MASSACRED SIMPLY BECAUSE HE WAS PERCEIVED BY THE "INJUNS" TO BE A DETESTED BIGOT?
WERE THE OWNERS OF THE SPORT TEAMS IN CHICAGO, CLEVELAND ATLANTA, WASHINGTON DC , BOSTON, ETC CLEVERLY HIDING THEIR RACIAL BIAS BY NAMING THEIR OFTEN DEFICIENT MAJOR LEAGUE SPORTS TEAMS AFTER OUR NATIVE AMERICANS?
WILL WE NOW BE P.C SENSITIVE BY NO LONGER CONTINUING TO REFER TO ALL THOSE SECOND SALE TICKET FOLKS OUT THERE AS "SCALPERS".
AND AFTER LISTENING AT THE FOOT OF OUR HUGE PHILCO FLOOR RADIO, EAGERLY ANTICIPATING EACH ADVENTURE WITH A MIX OF CHILDISH ENTHUSIASM AND CURIOSITY - WAS I RIGHT TO WONDER WHY NEITHER OF MY HEROS EVER HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM?
SHOULD WE EXHUME MY FIRST GRADE TEACHER MISS DUERR FROM HER GRAVE BECAUSE ONE OF THE PREFERRED READING CHOICES AT ATLANTIC AVENUE ELEMENTARY WAS THE STORY OF "LITTLE BLACK SAMBO" (REPLETE WITH ILLUSTRATIVE DRAWINGS THAT INCLUDED A VAT OF BUTTER?)
WHAT DID AMOS, ANDY, AND THE KINGFISH REALLY THINK ABOUT AL JOLSON?
ALAS, SO MANY QUESTIONS - SO LITTLE TIME.
(the use of all caps was for the purpose of emphasizing the gravity of the subject matter.)
HOW DID ALL OF THOSE LONELY RUSSIAN WOMEN GET MY EMAIL ADDRESS?
LOT'S OF QUESTIONS FOR THIS OLD OCTOGENARIAN TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF TODAY'S MORES.
WHAT IS THE STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS (IN YEARS) FOR OUR FOOLISH JUVENILE
BEHAVIOR? (OR, DOES WEARING BLACK FACE HAVE NONE?)
A CONFESSION: I ONCE PARTICIPATED IN A MINSTREL SHOW.
NOW, I DIDN'T WEAR BLACK FACE ONLY BECAUSE I WAS MR. INTERLOCUTER- THE SINGING WHITE MASTER OF CEREMONIES FOR THE REST OF THE WHITE CUB SCOUTS WHO DID WEAR BLACKFACE. THIS LATTER CHOICE WAS OBVIOUSLY DUE TO THE INSISTANCE OF OUR BIGOTTED WHITE DEN MOTHER MRS. BASH.
(SHE NEVER APOLOGIZED FOR HER ACTIONS - WHICH I THOUGHT AT THE TIME WAS VERY WHITE OF HER)
WILL MY MOURNFUL CHILD SOPRANO RENDITION OF THE SONG "CHLOE" COME BACK TO HAUNT ME?
IS CHIEF WAHOO ROLLING AROUND IN HIS GRAVE NOW THAT HIS IMAGE HAS BEEN SOCIALLY BANNED? SEEMS LIKE A CRUDE TRICK TO DO TO SOMEONE WHO WARMED MY HEART AS A CHILD POURING OVER THE OLD STEVE ROPER COMIC STRIP WHERE THE TWO INTERACTED - UNAWARE OF THEIR BOORISH BEHAVIOR.
DID THE LONE RANGER REALLY SEND TONTO INTO TOWN TO GATHER NEEDED INFORMATION DESPITE HIS KNOWLEDGE THAT MEANT TONTO WOULD SURELY GET BEAT UP BY THE TOWN FOLKS?
WHY DID HE REFUSES TO TAKE THE SAME OPPORTUNITY TO MEET AND GREET THE LOCALS? WAS IT DUE TO HIS AWARENESS OF POSSIBLY EXPOSING HIMSELF TO THE IDENTICAL FATE?
ACCORDING TO BILL COSBY THAT BEHAVIOR CONTINUED UNTIL TONTO FINALLY SAID "ENOUGH - KEMO SABE!" - FORCING "KEMO" TO ADOPT THE OLD PROSPECTOR DISGUISE AND DO THE DIRTY DEED HIMSELF.
AND WHO IS GOING TO REFUSE TO BELIEVE COSBY?
(AND, OF COURSE, I ASSUME THAT MEANS I AM ALSO A BIGOT.)
WELL, SO MUCH FOR TONTO SAVING THE RANGERS LIFE AS THE SOLE SURVIVOR AFTER THE AMBUSH BY THE EVIL BUTCH CAVENDISH GANG. TALK ABOUT A LACK OF WHITE MAN'S GRATITUDE..
AND WHY DID "LONE"' GET TO RIDE A BEAUTIFUL WHITE STALLION WHILE TONTO WAS STUCK WITH SOME MIXED BREED CALLED "PAINT?
WASN'T THAT ENOUGH TO CAUSE US TO BE SUSPICIOUS OF CREATOR FRAN STRYKER'S TRUE HIDDEN BIAS?.
MAKES YOU WONDER. RATHER THAN CHASING WHITE WOMEN - DID THE DUO SIT ALONE AROUND THE CAMPFIRE AT NIGHT DISCUSSING THE CURRENT STATUS OF RACIAL BEHAVIOR IN THE OLD WEST - OR PLAYING A VERSION OF "OLD MAID"
FOR STAKES OF SILVER BULLETS?
WHILE I MIGHT ALSO QUESTION THE DATING HABITS OF THE TWO -THAT OPENS ANOTHER WHOLE BAG OF INSENSITIVITY. SO LET'S GO ON.
WERE GENERAL CUSTER AND HIS TROOPS MASSACRED SIMPLY BECAUSE HE WAS PERCEIVED BY THE "INJUNS" TO BE A DETESTED BIGOT?
WERE THE OWNERS OF THE SPORT TEAMS IN CHICAGO, CLEVELAND ATLANTA, WASHINGTON DC , BOSTON, ETC CLEVERLY HIDING THEIR RACIAL BIAS BY NAMING THEIR OFTEN DEFICIENT MAJOR LEAGUE SPORTS TEAMS AFTER OUR NATIVE AMERICANS?
WILL WE NOW BE P.C SENSITIVE BY NO LONGER CONTINUING TO REFER TO ALL THOSE SECOND SALE TICKET FOLKS OUT THERE AS "SCALPERS".
AND AFTER LISTENING AT THE FOOT OF OUR HUGE PHILCO FLOOR RADIO, EAGERLY ANTICIPATING EACH ADVENTURE WITH A MIX OF CHILDISH ENTHUSIASM AND CURIOSITY - WAS I RIGHT TO WONDER WHY NEITHER OF MY HEROS EVER HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM?
SHOULD WE EXHUME MY FIRST GRADE TEACHER MISS DUERR FROM HER GRAVE BECAUSE ONE OF THE PREFERRED READING CHOICES AT ATLANTIC AVENUE ELEMENTARY WAS THE STORY OF "LITTLE BLACK SAMBO" (REPLETE WITH ILLUSTRATIVE DRAWINGS THAT INCLUDED A VAT OF BUTTER?)
WHAT DID AMOS, ANDY, AND THE KINGFISH REALLY THINK ABOUT AL JOLSON?
ALAS, SO MANY QUESTIONS - SO LITTLE TIME.
(the use of all caps was for the purpose of emphasizing the gravity of the subject matter.)
Thursday, February 14, 2019
DIS N DAT
THE GREAT AWAKENING
Did you hear about "the awakening"? It's been in all the papers.
The message is in part: "no longer are women to be treated as serfs!"
Some refer to it as "the women's movement" - as if, prior to this time, they were "stuck" to the kitchen floor - but now are allowed to relocate themselves to the one in the bathroom..
What has escaped many folks - particularly we men - is that women no longer are limited to menstruation, conjugation, procreation, and subjugation
Obviously this new freedom no longer is limited to previous descripted polysyllabic terms, but reflects a combination of awakening and opportunity..
The new studies proclaim women now have a brain and are even free and encouraged to run for office. While one might conclude that is an oxymoron - most of us choose to look at it as progress.
This is not the first time that strong women have demonstrated their combined strength.
There are some out there who, to this day, claim that the "straw that broke the Irish males back" in sectional divided Ireland - was the Irish mothers and wives who were simply tired of all of the dying and took a stand that resulted in resolution ( apparently a bipartisan effort - seldom seen)
Simply put, the new awakening is long overdue and may have been resuscitated in an effort to emphasize the truisms contained in Maltuse's Theory on food supply and population
A decision was made by some/many to increase (and improve?) the "food supply'' to compensate for the increased population in this country - both legal and illegal..
This satisfies this old blogger and resolves my age old curiosity as to why back in high school the women (no longer girls) - by group measurement - had the highest grades but were less likely to pursue higher education than the males. They were also limited post-high school to their choice of acceptable professions. That enigma thankfully has been reversed dramatically.
Our modern day suffrage is back and not unlike the old Hollywood headline post WWII - "Gable's back and Garson's got him" - there is a hint that "possession" is now officially 9/10's of the law for women as well as men...
:
WARNING: No longer are we men to use terms such as "the weaker sex" - the "distaff side" or my favorite "The little woman" (apologies to Louisa May Alcott).
We all know that most plants comes from a tiny seed.
Therefore, one can realistically posit that perhaps the women's movement started long ago, back when I first received the following anonymous piece written to a woman who was going through her own personal "awakening:
" After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security. And you
begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises. And you begin to
accept your defeats with your head held high and your eyes wide open, with the grace of a
woman and not the grief of a child. You learn to build your roads on today, because
tomorrow's ground is too uncertain and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that sunshine burns if you get too much. So you plant your own
garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can ENDURE, that you really are STRONG. And that you really
do have WORTH and that you keep learning. With every goodbye - you LEARN.
Now we're all learning.
Did you hear about "the awakening"? It's been in all the papers.
The message is in part: "no longer are women to be treated as serfs!"
Some refer to it as "the women's movement" - as if, prior to this time, they were "stuck" to the kitchen floor - but now are allowed to relocate themselves to the one in the bathroom..
What has escaped many folks - particularly we men - is that women no longer are limited to menstruation, conjugation, procreation, and subjugation
Obviously this new freedom no longer is limited to previous descripted polysyllabic terms, but reflects a combination of awakening and opportunity..
The new studies proclaim women now have a brain and are even free and encouraged to run for office. While one might conclude that is an oxymoron - most of us choose to look at it as progress.
This is not the first time that strong women have demonstrated their combined strength.
There are some out there who, to this day, claim that the "straw that broke the Irish males back" in sectional divided Ireland - was the Irish mothers and wives who were simply tired of all of the dying and took a stand that resulted in resolution ( apparently a bipartisan effort - seldom seen)
Simply put, the new awakening is long overdue and may have been resuscitated in an effort to emphasize the truisms contained in Maltuse's Theory on food supply and population
A decision was made by some/many to increase (and improve?) the "food supply'' to compensate for the increased population in this country - both legal and illegal..
This satisfies this old blogger and resolves my age old curiosity as to why back in high school the women (no longer girls) - by group measurement - had the highest grades but were less likely to pursue higher education than the males. They were also limited post-high school to their choice of acceptable professions. That enigma thankfully has been reversed dramatically.
Our modern day suffrage is back and not unlike the old Hollywood headline post WWII - "Gable's back and Garson's got him" - there is a hint that "possession" is now officially 9/10's of the law for women as well as men...
:
WARNING: No longer are we men to use terms such as "the weaker sex" - the "distaff side" or my favorite "The little woman" (apologies to Louisa May Alcott).
We all know that most plants comes from a tiny seed.
Therefore, one can realistically posit that perhaps the women's movement started long ago, back when I first received the following anonymous piece written to a woman who was going through her own personal "awakening:
" After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security. And you
begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises. And you begin to
accept your defeats with your head held high and your eyes wide open, with the grace of a
woman and not the grief of a child. You learn to build your roads on today, because
tomorrow's ground is too uncertain and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that sunshine burns if you get too much. So you plant your own
garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can ENDURE, that you really are STRONG. And that you really
do have WORTH and that you keep learning. With every goodbye - you LEARN.
Now we're all learning.
RAMBLINGS
Was re-reading some of my old blogs recently.
My goal- was to see where my mind was back then - but, also to see just how far it has slipped since 2008, when the personal blogs began..
So, what was learned? Quite a bit, I'd say and - a reminder that it wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer 10 or 11 years ago either..
Then, why keep writing them? Not that hard to answer.
We're a mobile society - particularly if we desire promotions, more money, a larger home and a real awareness of whether we really wanted to attend all of those future high school reunions.
The mobility experience has often been conducive in conquering some of the desired perks; but it's not without it's potential impact on family relationships.
It's one thing to see your new born grandchild on Skype. It's a whole different experience to be close by and that day hold them against your face while taking in that unique new baby smell. (the good one - that is)
Some might suggest that keeping family close is a real plus. Others, not so much
One memory from a good friend, who unfortunately passed away much too young, was his frequent retelling of how his parents journey in life, including their home locations, consistently reflected the geographical destination that accompanied his latest promotion..
Sort of a "Groundhog Day" image of "Everybody Loves Raymond".
Now retired, my highlight film would have to include being with family while vacationing for 4 to 6 six months a year in Pennsylvania , avoiding that Florida summer heat and pollen count and enjoying the comfort of a furnished apartment located three hours away from their Pennsylvania residences.
A photo of me right now would accompany my memory of the many happy family gatherings witnessed in person as well as the smile that is splattered over this retirees craggy Irish face.
So, why write blogs?
It's a connection - (with perhaps an occasional thought about legacy thrown into the mix.)
.
My goal- was to see where my mind was back then - but, also to see just how far it has slipped since 2008, when the personal blogs began..
So, what was learned? Quite a bit, I'd say and - a reminder that it wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer 10 or 11 years ago either..
Then, why keep writing them? Not that hard to answer.
We're a mobile society - particularly if we desire promotions, more money, a larger home and a real awareness of whether we really wanted to attend all of those future high school reunions.
The mobility experience has often been conducive in conquering some of the desired perks; but it's not without it's potential impact on family relationships.
It's one thing to see your new born grandchild on Skype. It's a whole different experience to be close by and that day hold them against your face while taking in that unique new baby smell. (the good one - that is)
Some might suggest that keeping family close is a real plus. Others, not so much
One memory from a good friend, who unfortunately passed away much too young, was his frequent retelling of how his parents journey in life, including their home locations, consistently reflected the geographical destination that accompanied his latest promotion..
Sort of a "Groundhog Day" image of "Everybody Loves Raymond".
Now retired, my highlight film would have to include being with family while vacationing for 4 to 6 six months a year in Pennsylvania , avoiding that Florida summer heat and pollen count and enjoying the comfort of a furnished apartment located three hours away from their Pennsylvania residences.
A photo of me right now would accompany my memory of the many happy family gatherings witnessed in person as well as the smile that is splattered over this retirees craggy Irish face.
So, why write blogs?
It's a connection - (with perhaps an occasional thought about legacy thrown into the mix.)
.
Saturday, December 24, 2016
Welcome Relief
To my senior friends:
Recently there was a movie review in the paper regarding the holiday movie "What A Wonderful Life" (WAWF) starring Jimmy Stewart and available on just about every network except possibly Animal Planet.
The reviewer - whom it can be assumed must be very young since she claimed she had never seen it before - was critical of its qualifications as a true "Christmas Movie" because it was sad and troubling.
I know, the irony was not lost on me either that a member of the media (even if by association) was disturbed about sad and troubling news, particularly the kind which is featured 5+ nights a week on the "Late Breaking News" lead in on ABC Evening News - while we wait 28 minutes to get to the good stuff about people 'helping' people.
Those of us who have pretty much come to grip with most changes now taking place have simply acknowledged we are living in a different time but admittedly occasionally throw up the question "And Why?" - before finishing our evening prayers
.
We do this also while shaking our heads (old poops do this a lot) as we read the headlines like the one recently about some of our most prestigious universities cancelling mid-term exams for the later part of the day. They did so because when the election results about 2 AM confirmed that their favorite Presidential candidate was defeated the disappointed students were thought to be way too devastated and emotionally injured to sit for the exams.
Those of us who were around in 1948 when the Chicago Tribune prematurely and incorrectly posted the headline "Dewey Wins" were only now sadly realizing that we didn't receive even as much as a snow day to repair the reaction of both our parents and neighbors and by extension - ourselves.
There really is a panacea for dealing with the overabundance of recognizable and allegedly authentic
news sources "bad news" that has been heaped on us (and don't even get me started on the whole "fake news" phenomenon). OK, I will anyway.
I learned about fake news early in my life. My experience was while patiently awaiting my turn in the chair, and deciding to read cover to cover both "Confidential Magazine" and the "Police Gazette" favored by my local barber and neighbor Johnny Pedrotti,.
Johnny (nobody called him Mr.Pedrotti) whose tonsorial parlor was replete not only with these "dirty magazines" but was known for it's slowly revolving red and blue cigar shaped sign prominently displayed on Sumner Avenue where both our families resided.
This was, of course, as opposed to the blinking red one at the top of the street in the front window of Widow Shanahans house.
So, what do we do about incorrectly reported or simply fake news we're now exposed to every day?
Here's one suggestion:Find an ear torn copy of the old children's book we read as kids entitled "Chicken Little". It's a quick read.
When you finish, take an oath that you will never again walk under an acorn tree - speak to Henny Penny if your paths cross - or watch the evening news by yourself without first taping it for appropriate editing and re-examination of it's authenticity.
It also might benefit we "old poops" if we are willing to recognize that we also made a slew of mistakes in our business and personal life before arriving at our present status. Worse yet, they made perfect sense to us at the very time we were making them and we continued to defend them to our wives for many years after.
.
If that still doesn't work - try to catch and tape the Farmers Insurance commercials where the host - wearing his outdated corduroy jacket and jeans assures us of the reliability of his sponsor because (paraphrasing) "We saw a lot and we did a lot" (or whatever)
Feel free to play them whenever necessary unless you would rather opt for watching WAWL for the "eleventy-seventh" time as you reminisce about the good times and the bank failures.
.
Seriously, the now passe' advice of "chilling" is an exercise of "welcome relief" and really much more tasteful than the application of the old formula we used in order to get here in the first place:
"Plop- Plop / Fizz - Fizz - Oh, what a relief it is."
May your holiday season be filled with nothing but good news.
Recently there was a movie review in the paper regarding the holiday movie "What A Wonderful Life" (WAWF) starring Jimmy Stewart and available on just about every network except possibly Animal Planet.
The reviewer - whom it can be assumed must be very young since she claimed she had never seen it before - was critical of its qualifications as a true "Christmas Movie" because it was sad and troubling.
I know, the irony was not lost on me either that a member of the media (even if by association) was disturbed about sad and troubling news, particularly the kind which is featured 5+ nights a week on the "Late Breaking News" lead in on ABC Evening News - while we wait 28 minutes to get to the good stuff about people 'helping' people.
Those of us who have pretty much come to grip with most changes now taking place have simply acknowledged we are living in a different time but admittedly occasionally throw up the question "And Why?" - before finishing our evening prayers
.
We do this also while shaking our heads (old poops do this a lot) as we read the headlines like the one recently about some of our most prestigious universities cancelling mid-term exams for the later part of the day. They did so because when the election results about 2 AM confirmed that their favorite Presidential candidate was defeated the disappointed students were thought to be way too devastated and emotionally injured to sit for the exams.
Those of us who were around in 1948 when the Chicago Tribune prematurely and incorrectly posted the headline "Dewey Wins" were only now sadly realizing that we didn't receive even as much as a snow day to repair the reaction of both our parents and neighbors and by extension - ourselves.
There really is a panacea for dealing with the overabundance of recognizable and allegedly authentic
news sources "bad news" that has been heaped on us (and don't even get me started on the whole "fake news" phenomenon). OK, I will anyway.
I learned about fake news early in my life. My experience was while patiently awaiting my turn in the chair, and deciding to read cover to cover both "Confidential Magazine" and the "Police Gazette" favored by my local barber and neighbor Johnny Pedrotti,.
Johnny (nobody called him Mr.Pedrotti) whose tonsorial parlor was replete not only with these "dirty magazines" but was known for it's slowly revolving red and blue cigar shaped sign prominently displayed on Sumner Avenue where both our families resided.
This was, of course, as opposed to the blinking red one at the top of the street in the front window of Widow Shanahans house.
So, what do we do about incorrectly reported or simply fake news we're now exposed to every day?
Here's one suggestion:Find an ear torn copy of the old children's book we read as kids entitled "Chicken Little". It's a quick read.
When you finish, take an oath that you will never again walk under an acorn tree - speak to Henny Penny if your paths cross - or watch the evening news by yourself without first taping it for appropriate editing and re-examination of it's authenticity.
It also might benefit we "old poops" if we are willing to recognize that we also made a slew of mistakes in our business and personal life before arriving at our present status. Worse yet, they made perfect sense to us at the very time we were making them and we continued to defend them to our wives for many years after.
.
If that still doesn't work - try to catch and tape the Farmers Insurance commercials where the host - wearing his outdated corduroy jacket and jeans assures us of the reliability of his sponsor because (paraphrasing) "We saw a lot and we did a lot" (or whatever)
Feel free to play them whenever necessary unless you would rather opt for watching WAWL for the "eleventy-seventh" time as you reminisce about the good times and the bank failures.
.
Seriously, the now passe' advice of "chilling" is an exercise of "welcome relief" and really much more tasteful than the application of the old formula we used in order to get here in the first place:
"Plop- Plop / Fizz - Fizz - Oh, what a relief it is."
May your holiday season be filled with nothing but good news.
Sunday, December 11, 2016
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY
Having been off my blog for some time and struggling to get back in for almost 2 hours I find I am speechless.
My password has been changed after several unsuccessful tries but if I shared it with you it would become painfully obvious the one I chose was done strictly out of frustration.
However, every time I go into the bathroom I should be able to remember it.
This will be my shortest blog. intwo minutes the Steelers game comes on.
My password has been changed after several unsuccessful tries but if I shared it with you it would become painfully obvious the one I chose was done strictly out of frustration.
However, every time I go into the bathroom I should be able to remember it.
This will be my shortest blog. intwo minutes the Steelers game comes on.
Thursday, May 26, 2016
DOWN, PRANCER!
The bizarre movements were so flagrant they caught my eye and forced me
to put down the sports pages.
Me: So,what's all the prancing around about? It's just another birthday.
Don't expect any special creature treats!
Bella - Apparently you forgot this is my 9th birthday.
Me: Not really. You've been leaving hints all over the house - singing "99
bottles of beer"- complaining about cats having 9 lives - reminding
me the Pirates opposition won again in the 9th - suggesting to me
that 9 out of 10 times I am wrong - and arranging your toys on the
floor in a formation of a huge NINE. So, what's the big deal?
Bella: I told you! I'm nine years old today. That's special all by itself.
Me: OK Pal. Tell you what I'm going to do. How bout I take off your
brightly colored collar and you can do your prancing in
your "birthday suit"
Bella: You'd like that wouldn't you? You old pathetic lecher!
Me: Trust me there is nothing about a 2.7 lb Chihuahua that turns
me on.
Bella: I'm assuming this means you've stopped chasing dogs then!
Me: I may risk one eye!. Look, what's this all about - the attitude
and stuff?
Bella: Ahh, Why do I even try? Do you not know what the age 9 is
in doggie years?
Me: Wait! I'll go find a calculator.
Bella: What? Your abacus is broke again?.
Me: You know, I've just about had enough of your attempts to do
your stupid Cantinflas impression. You Hispanics just aren't
that funny.
Bella: So, Trump tells me,, but George Lopez isn't doing so bad as a
Chicano in your country.
Me: I suspect he's really Gringo and mastered the dialect through several
lessons via Rosetta Stone, but we're getting off the subject again.
Why is the number 9 so important to you?
Bella: It means I'm 63 in human years. That means I'm over the 55 year
old requirement in this old fart co-op of yours. So, now I'm a
shareholder and can kick you out of my home. Time to pack,
Chubby.
Me: Your home ???
(Sounds of dog both running and laughing while elderly man chases
and his wheezing almost drowns out both noises. Dog stops - takes off her
collar herself -and is now flaunting it in his face while he leans against
curio cabinet to catch his breath . This is followed by the sound of broken
glass and a screaming woman!).
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